


Horrible 'n Sweet Revenge.

by theblacksheepwriter



Series: Horrible Human Beings [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (Cartoon), Teen Wolf (Movies), Teen Wolf (TV), horrible human beings
Genre: Comedy, Drama, F/F, F/M, Hate, Heartbreaking, Homophobia, M/M, Multi, Pop Culture, Romance, horrible 'n sweet revenge, horrible human beings - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-03-08 05:31:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 149,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3197180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theblacksheepwriter/pseuds/theblacksheepwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Falling for a straight guy is pretty stupid. But falling for three? Hell! That's a whole new level of masochism. Things wouldn't have been so complicated if it wasn't because they were in love with me too. My name is Stiles, and this is the story of how the craziest thing I did in my life, wasn't actually my idea. Follow me in my journey to destroy the bastards that ruined my life. let's go together to once and for all unmask that bunch of Horrible Human Beings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. SO FAR

**Author's Note:**

> So sorry for the super late update guys, my life is a mess. Literally, I'm writing, but don't have as much time as I used. Hugs from Venezuela, please stay tuned. I'll keep updating but a bit slower than before.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Horrible ‘n Sweet Revenge

 

 

TL Mason

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“If you like all the flavors, no one can say that you have a bad taste”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

## SO FAR

 

 

“Kyle…I…” I whispered with my eyes closed and my breathing hitched. “Kyle I don’t…” Wait a second…Who in the all are you and why are you reading my diary? In case you’re my mom, well, STOP READING MY DIARY MOM!

In case you’re not my mom then we have a serious problem here, because you have no right to be reading this, unless you’re a betch. Are you? If that’s the case, prove it.

Alright. Before letting you reading my diary. First I must know that I can trust you, so write your name down here____ rise your left hand, put the right on your heart and read this aloud

 

**THE BETCH MANIFESTO**

I’m a betch, and you know it bitch. I’ve have done good and bad things. I’ve lived sad and great moments. I have the best friends in the world. I’m kind and I’m worthy. I’m cunning and sometimes annoying. I’m tall and I’m short, I’m fat and thin. I’m black, Latin, Asian, white and Indian. I have done things I regret and there are moments I wouldn’t change for anything in the world. I have a kind heart and a beautiful smile. I believe in equality and I’m a feminist. I believe in love and peace. I’m Christian, Jewish, atheist, Mormon, catholic. I’m wealthy and poor. I came from a small town and a big city. I have conviction and ideals. I have a heart and I have soul. I’m a human being, and I deserve love.

 

Ok, where were we? Ah right _“that”_ moment. Well, things turned out to be like this.

“Kyle…I don’t…”

“Please Stilesy, let me talk first” He begged.

I swallowed and waited for what I could swear were hours. Why he didn’t say anything? Why he was so uneasy?

“Kyle you…”

“You deserve better than him” He said with shaking hands.

I prepared to reply but he was faster and before I realized he leaned and kissed me. I stirred on the grass and would let out a shriek but he was holding me. I was holding him and…Um… Okay. I think I’m going too fast. You probably don’t even know what I’m talking about, so…Why don’t we go back where everything started?

My name is Stiles, and this is my new personal diary, and just in case you didn’t read the beginning of the story or you’re a blue tang fish then let me explain you some things and how I got stuck in a love heptagon. First of all, you must to know that, it all started as a joke. Well, revenge, actually.

Not long ago I was a cinematography student in Oakwood. I was the badass director everyone felt jealous about and yup, surprisingly it included my best friends.

When I was twenty years old, I met this hot and sensitive law student called Isaac Lahey. He wasn’t just a normal guy, but also sweet and funny, though…There was a tiny problem. He was straight, well…Not straight-straight, but more like straight-hate-gays-until-I-met-one-and-develop-feelings-for-him. And guess who that poor little gay was? Yeah, it was me. The funny thing is that this kind of guys exist. No one says anything about them, though, but they exist and let me tell you something. They are a bunch of horrible human beings.

That’s the name the betches and I gave them. Horrible human beings, but we can use Hhb for fandom matters, don’t you think? Anyway, I met Isaac and we had this crazy chemistry between us that made me think and feel a lot of things. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, I was really dumb for falling for a straight guy, but…What could I do? Ain’t like people can choose whoever they want to fall in love with. If that was the case, I would have chosen a girl, but you just can’t do that. Believe me, I tried.

Well, before you say anything I must tell you that I never tried to get into his pants, though I could have tried a couple of times but…I didn’t feel brave enough to do it, especially because I’m not that good looking to even consider dating someone as hot as him. Never mind, even when I didn’t try to do anything to him he definitely did with me, or at least he threw some bones for me to catch them and play with my feelings.

That’s the thing about those guys. You never know what they are or who they love. They are not gay, but they aren’t fully straight either, and they definitely don’t fit in the bisexual or heteroflexible description. They just like to play with everyone. It doesn’t matter whose heart they break because as my best friend in the world once told me. The only thing they fall for in the world, is the fact that everyone loves them. And here is where I decided it was time for a plot twist in my life.

Let me explain you something. All and I mean all the gays in the world met at least two horrible human beings in their lives. Don’t you believe me? Just ask your gay best friend and you’ll see I’m right. The funny thing about all this, is that I don’t know why none of us say anything about it. Maybe because it is just too painful to even consider doing it. But what really matters here, is that they are real, and they are out there ruining someone’s life in this very moment.

Let me clear something. They are not monsters. At least not in the outside, and most of the time they aren’t either in the inside. I mean, it’s complicated, but…They kind of like you by the way you are. How naïve and innocent you might look to them. They love that you’re selfless and kind and that there are things in you that make them feel comfortable about saying silly stuffs like _“I miss you”_ and that kind cheesy shit. That’s the problem, they are too nice, way too much and at some point you just…End up falling for them, even when you don’t try. And even if you get out of their lives they find their way back in and make you feel like crap for pushing them away. It’s an unhealthy relationship. At some point you turn out to be more important to them than their own girls and yeah I mean girls in plural. But at the end of the day they got to bed with them, at the end of the day they say I love you to them, at the end of the day they say that you’re disgusting and that you misunderstood his friendship with something else when it was quite the opposite.

It was the autumn of my twenty one years when everything ended between Isaac Lahey and me. I was just too broken. Too damaged and just wanted everything to end between us, so I wrote him a letter confessing him my feelings for him. I shouldn’t have. I know. But I had no choice, I had to let out all the stuffs stuck in my chest. I needed to tell him that I loved him from the very moment we met, I needed to tell him that the year we spent together was the most beautiful and bittersweet season of my life and also needed to tell him that he needed help, that he needed to think about himself and clear up his mind, that he needed to find a guy he felt attracted to and kiss him just to finally define if he was gay or not, because he couldn’t just go around messing with people’s feelings, because in the end everyone ended up heart broken. Him included.

I would have put an end to everything. I would have continued with my life as if anything happened if it wasn’t for something poisonous and bitter. Something you shouldn’t ever give to someone who has already accepted the inevitable, and that thing is hope. Call me melodramatic, but hope can rise and destroy governments. Hope can change the destiny of a person. Hope, can be the difference between life and death, and in my case, hope was the thing that sunk me the darkest corner of existence. Where you’re not sure who you are anymore.

He gave me hope. He told me that he would come over to my place and we would spend the day together, but I told him that he wouldn’t want to see me again after he read the letter I wrote. He shook his head and told me again that he was coming over.

I knew he wouldn’t come. I knew it was all a lie, but still…There was hope in my heart that he changed his mind and came back looking for me, to tell me that he loved me too and I pretended the whole day that I was busy in my dorm. I acted as if nothing would happen but deep inside I wished, I craved for his presence in my door. I still don’t know how, but at some point I woke up in my best friend’s arms all bloody and dazed. He and his girlfriend thought that I tried to commit suicide, but they were wrong, I just self-harmed myself. I needed to do it. I needed to show myself how unworthy and stupid I was. Of course it was something awful and I shouldn’t have done that ever. I will regret that day for the rest of my life and live with the scars on wrist to remind me every morning who am I and what’ve done.

Those were hard months for me and my best friend. His name is Derek by the way, and he is the greatest, kindest and selfless friend anyone could have. He took care of me that time, the same way he used to since we were kids. Back home he was my neighbor, so we grew up together, went to school together, bathed together, we did everything together, it was always Derek and Stiles and you might be thinking. Why in the hell you didn’t fall for Derek instead of Isaac? Well, the answer is simple. I actually did, and things ended up more or less the same way. It was when we were in high school and it was painful, I had all this feelings for him and when I finally let them out, everything went to shit. He was straight and I should have accepted that but there were things…I don’t know it was too much complicated. I lost him for a whole year, until we became complete estrangers. And then one day, the homophobia ironically saved me.

I was being humiliated by some assholes and he came out of nowhere and supported me. Of course we got our asses kicked for months and months, but it didn’t matter anymore, because I had him back. We try to not mention that year often because it’s kind of awkward, and we like to pretend that we never split and that we have been together always. But it happened.

Back to the future –Ha! - Apparently Isaac didn’t like much my letter, because in November I got a mail from him sending me a link to a YouTube video, and the video turned out to be his friends reading my letter aloud with mocking grins. It was awful and painful. He wasn’t in the video, but the fact that he cared so less about me to give it to them, it just…It was too much to bear.

I got a serious depression. I didn’t want to eat or come out of bed. I’m still surprised I didn’t fail any class those days. The holidays came and Derek took me home and they kept uploading the video at YouTube over and over again. They despised me for no other reason than being gay. It was so wrong and I felt like shit, they really made me hate myself.

Surprisingly a miracle came the New Year’s Day. Derek called the rest of my friends. The betches, and we talked a lot and I realized that it wasn’t just me. They lived it too, and I realized that it happens to gays all around the world every day. And it was then when I decided that I couldn’t stay arms crossed feeling sorry for myself. Not when there were thousands of gays out there going through the same I did, so…We determined it was time to put an end to their reign of terror. That day. The horrible human beings’ project was born.

Now. You must be wondering what the hell the horrible human being’s project was. It’s simple. The betches and I would record a documentary movie about those kind of men. The plan was simple, we would go through the same situations we lived in the past all over again, but this time, we would register everything to present it for one of my finals at the year of the year.

Also if we were going to do that, we would have to visit the ghosts of our past, and that included Isaac and the betches’ Hhbs. The problem was, that most of them lived that situation long time in the past and most of the guys were already out of the town. We felt frustrated and angry, for a moment we thought the project was done before even starting, but then an idea came to our minds. We would start over, with new guys we didn’t even met, to beyond proving the existence of the Hhb, we would evidence that any straight guy could be one of them.

That’s how my friends and I started to live as spies pretending to fall for a bunch of assholes. I had to develop a project for my script writing class that February, and there is where I met my target. His name was Kyle Parrish and he was the most cocky and annoying person you would ever met, which was kind of silly because he was a terrible actor and the worst of all is that we had to work together in a movie. It was a mess, but I found to way to fix things up and save the day at the end. That’s when he stopped being so big headed and started to treat me kindly.

In the month we spent working together, I had a wave of emotions going through me. I couldn’t stand him and hated his acting skills that made my work harder, but in other hand…There were moments…I can’t explain it, but…There were moments were I thought he wasn’t that big ass. After risking my life to save him from a gang in a party, I understood that I sort of…Might had tiny feelings for him, and it was then when I realized that it would be perfect if I made him my personal target for the project. It had to look real after all, and the only way to make one of those creepy relationships look real, was going through all it genuinely.

In other hands, that rave party helped the rest of the betches to find their own Hhbs for the project. Well, at least Tim, Cass and Jim, because Freddy didn’t stop dancing the whole night, Liam gave off himself before even trying to meet someone and of course Hip just needed three seconds with a guy or a girl to get into their pants –Don’t ask how he did it, because I still don’t know-

So while, I ran for my life and realized that Kyle was the person I was looking for. Hip had sex, Cass and Tim met their own Hhbs who turned out to be two twin brothers that were Isaac friends and I was sure were the ones who got the idea of recording the YouTube video to humiliate me. Oh and Jim was saving a life. Yeah that could sound like overreacting, but well. Turns out that there was this hot! But really hot guy named Jackson Whittemore. Just imagine that Channing Tatum and Ryan Gosling had a baby, well when that baby grew up would look just like Jackson Whittemore. Well, someone drugged him in the party, because they thought it would hilarious to see a Christian boy getting high for the first time in his life and he ended up pretty bad.

That’s how we ended up stuck in this mess. I tried to find a reason to hate Kyle and not feel guilty for recording everything we did without his permission, but…There more I spent time with him, the more I liked him. Meanwhile Cass and Tim grew fond too with his pair of jackass and Jim became Jackson Whittemore’ best friend without even asking. Well, that’s what he thought, because…Because just a couple of days after the party he discovered that Jack didn’t like him much and actually thought he was a cocky rich boy. Jim took that pretty bad and I couldn’t help laughing of him because Jack was so right, but…Well, then he showed a video of a another conversation he recorded that day, in which Kyle told one of his friends that he didn’t like me at all and that actually he was just using me to be a better actor. That changed everything. That day I realized that it didn’t matter how much you believed or tried to find kindness in a straight guy, they would always end up being horrible human beings deep inside. So we sat up and decided to discuss our strategy to take control of the situation and not just record a video, but to destroy them.

It was a long talk with the betches, I thought and thought for hours reviewing in my head all the stuffs that I did wrong with Isaac and now was doing wrong with Kyle too, and I understood what I needed to do to win that war. There was a pattern in all this, and luckily I got to connect the dots and see the whole board. Everything always started because we did something nice and selfless for them. They always are pretty bad at something –most of the time that something is school- and turns out that you’re really good at it, so they develop this needs of spending time with you so you can help them and they pay you with praises and hugs and all the stuffs that make you feel like Abba’s Dancing Queen.

After all your friendship starts growing up. Since you did a good deed for them, they understand that they can trust you and begin to tell you all their stuffs, secrets mostly. They open their heart to you the way they never did with someone else before. That includes his girlfriends –yup, plural again- You give him good advices and make him see things from other point of view. He realized new things thanks to you, his eyes shine and then he…He looks at you in a way that makes you feel awkward and scared, happy and sad and there…Is where you’re doomed, because the next thing that happens is that he vanishes, he won’t answer your phone calls or texts and you will grew sadder and sadder every day until he comes back out of nowhere two weeks later with an excuse of being pretty occupied and that he didn’t get your texts or calls. You believe in his words and everything starts all over.

It is the same for months until you tell him you’re gay. Here, can happen two things. He acts as if nothing have changed but then starts asking things like… _”Do you like that guy?” “Do you think my brother is hot?” “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”_ That tends to end with tears and sorrow because at some point he will be so confused and overwhelmed for his feelings for you that will tear you apart to prove himself he’s not like you. The other thing that can happen is that he don’t accept the fact that you’re gay and will make you feel like shit, but weeks or months later he will realize how wrong he was about you and how much he missed you and everything comes back to normal but…It ends the same way that the first option.

That’s what we learned, and that’s what we needed to change. In order to win the war, we would make some modifications in our behavior to play with their feelings the same way they so often did with us, so…First all of all, we would be kind to them no matter what. To make them believe we were so stupid we didn’t see they were playing with us. Also it would be us who vanished and came back out of the blue with excuses once in a while. That way we would give them that feeling of uneasiness that always made us feel like crap.

Then we would get girlfriends, just to watch our backs in case they suspected anything and finally when we told them about our real preferences we would not and I’ll be very clear here. We would not, ask them to forgive us for anything, nor act as if we didn’t anything wrong and actually we would pretend we didn’t care about their opinion or even look for them when they _“decided”_ to not be friends with us anymore for being so wrecked. That way they would come back on their own more confused than ever. Great plan wasn’t it? The problem was, that since there weren’t any references of someone doing so, we were on our own, which meant that…We didn’t have a clue of how it would end.

That’s how we started with our plan, though by then Jim had already quit because according to him _“It was boring_ ”But, he was just hurt because Jackson Whittemore said what everyone thought about Jim.

The first thing in our agenda was to win their utter trust and to do so we needed to do good deed for them. Something very meaningful, selfless and heart felt that made them believe that we were the greatest persons in the world. I worked hard on my idea for Kyle and in the end I ended up doing two great things for him. And while I worked hard on it, Jim accidentally bumped into Jackson Wood’s path and proving him that he wasn’t the bad person Jackson thought he was.

They were ours. You got to see the way Kyle looked and threated me, plus that day he…Hugged me. It was awkward and warm and at the end of the day, we celebrated, because while Hip had sex with lots of _“Straight”_ guys, Cass, Tim, Jim and I got our Hhbs right were we wanted them.

Everything seemed to be going just as planned. The next thing in our minds were their girls. I knew Kyle had a girlfriend, though I didn’t know here in person nor even knew her name. Though I wasn’t looking to meet her because Isaac’s girlfriend was a very annoying and frustrating person I had to, and it came all out of the blue. While Jim and Jackson trained for their soccer team and Jackson still tried to figure out what kind of person Jim was, I was meeting Kyle’s sweetheart and…She wasn’t anything I expected. I mean, our plan was to ruin their relationships indirectly, but it would be hard for me, because while most Hhbs got girlfriends like Isaac’s, Kyle’s was…Really awesome. Her name was Kristie and she looked pretty much like Kya Scodelario, also she was fun and a total bitch in a good meaning. I liked her a lot. I would feel like shit by trying to ruin anything between them, and the worst of all…I enjoyed spending time with them both very much.

Meanwhile the rest of the betches met their Hhbs’ girls too, and while Cass and Tim seemed to like the twins girlfriend’s at least a bit, Jim…Didn’t seem to grow very fond to Jacksons’ lover because she was a bitch too, but…Not in a good way.

Everything was starting to be a little complicated for me, because know I felt some guilt for having to ruin Kyle and Kristie’s relationship and things got even worst when they said they wanted to meet my girlfriend and here is where everything got really fucked up.

I had a couple of girls who could help me by pretending to be my girlfriend. One of them was Becca, my sweet and hot friend who did that for me on the Isaac’s times, the problem was that Kyle and Kristie wanted to meet my girlfriend that same weekend and Becca had a real boyfriend now, and plus…They were out of the city for the whole weekend, my second option was Missy, my snarky fellow cinematography friend but rejected me almost instantly because she was on a dating with her own girlfriend. That let me with no options and worst of all I promised Kyle and Kristie I would bring dinner.

I was really desperate. Luckily Derek, again the best friend in the world was also an amazing cook and thought I didn’t tell him the truth because I feared he would freak out if I told him which was my secret project for the end of the year, he agreed to teach some cooking tricks. That was him, all dutiful and charming, you just got to look at him and notice how much he resembled Chris Evans on the Captain America’s role, except for the fact that Derek had brown hair and he never took off his hipster glasses, but he was so sweet for helping me, that only makes me feel worse for what I’m going to tell you later. Never mind, he needed some fresh air, so let me alone with the dinner.

I was preparing to run away with the dinner when Derek’s girlfriend showed up out of nowhere. Allison, sweet innocence Allison, a vivid portrait of Anna Kendrick. She was complaining about something but I didn’t pay much attention because I got an idea in that right moment, and that’s how she ended up being my fake girlfriend thought she didn’t know anything about it.

Dinner was a success, and speaking of dinners. Do you remember Jackson Whittemore? Well, Jim got the idea to help him look more cool and be more popular among the soccer team, so he convinced the other guys to join them in a dinner at Jackson’s house, a lot of things happened that made Jim feel on alert, for example his mom. Jacksons’ mom looked familiar to Jim for some odd reason, and it wasn’t just him, she said aloud, she felt like she knew Jim from somewhere else and that couldn’t be good, considering the kind of reeked son of a bitch that Jim was. The other major thing about that night was that…Jackson spent the whole day with his girlfriend and barely talked to Jim and even worse Kristie….Yeah, Kyle’s girl, turned out to be Jackson’s cousin and she was a total trickster and cunning bitch that didn’t miss the chance to point out that something could be going on between Jackson and Jim. That put on alert to everyone, though they just laughed about it. She didn’t mean it for real but joking and Jim knew better and he thought it was time to get out of there before the Christian family decided to crucifix him in their living room, and to make things even more awkward Jack ran after him when he was coming out of his house and hugged him and said a lot of silly things about how good and kind Jim was for helping him be a little more popular among the team. It was disturbing and a bit hilarious, but Jim wasn’t laughing at all.

The more time I spent with Kyle, Kristie and Allison, the more I enjoyed those days, and it was bit scary because I had to focus on the project, but I was a bit sad. Derek found out about my movie and as I expected, he went crazy and started to yell a lot of things to me and there was lot of drama. I told him things I still regret and when Allison tried to calm him down he yelled at her two and they broke up. All because of me. Just imagine how guilty I felt. That’s way I felt so comfortable with Kyle, Kristie and Allison. There was no drama, just fun thought it shouldn’t. The worst of all is that I got used to it too easily.

Sort of the same happened with Jim and Jackson. Jackson didn’t think anymore that Jim was an asshole. Actually, it was quite the opposite. He wouldn’t stop flattering him about almost anything he did. It was annoying and disturbing, thought I must admit I kind of thought it was cute when I watched the videos. They spent a lot of time in a community center playing with kids diagnosed with cancer. There Jim met Emily and Amanda, a pair of best friends that were the coolest children in the entire world. As me…He was starting to drift off a bit and lose his path.

The only ones that got pretty clear who they were and what they were doing were Tim and Cass. See…One day Kyle convinced me to go to the gym with him and as I expected it was a terrible idea. He left me alone for half a second and I bumped into the twins and they started to say awful things at me and I felt pretty bad. Luckily some people Kyle and the best friend in the world Derek of course included, made them go away. Though Tim and Cass were there too, they didn’t help me because I beckoned them with my eyes to stay out of it or they could ruin our plans. They heard me, but…It didn’t last long. As soon as they were out of the gym, Tim and Cass told the twins that they were gay to make them feel like crap for all the things they said to me. And that’s how their friendships ended. At least for that moment, because a couple of weeks later the twins would come back and say they felt sorry.

 

My guilt and sadness were driving me crazy those days. Since I lost Derek I felt lonely and tired, sad and hungry –I don’t know anything about cooking- and felt terrible for causing him to lose Allison and even worse for how miserable she seemed to look sometimes. I decided to help her get back to the top. Maybe I couldn’t pair her up with Derek again, but I could help her feel a little better. I called Liam and we took her to have an extreme makeover. It was a success of course, Liam knew his stuff and Allison seemed pretty happy, to not mention how Kyle’s eyes almost popped out of his face as soon as he saw her. If I could only make Kyle cheat Kristie with Allison I could destroy their relationship without much guilt because in the end it would have been his own making.

Jim and Jackson kept working hard on Jim’s training, and finally he was starting to see some results. While Jackson tried to harder and harder to act like a bad boy to prove Jim he wasn’t that innocent, Jim focused on being a better soccer player for Oakwood’s team.

On June they got a pretty important soccer game. If they won, they would compete in intercollege championship in Sunset Valley, you know. That little and comely town with its green heels, blue sky and hot beaches. It sounded like paradise, and that’s why Jim was so determinate to do his best and contribute to get into the tournament, but the coach didn’t think the same, because that day he left Jim on the bench. It was frustrating for him, but as much as it was for Jack. Why am I saying this? Well turns that Jackson Whittemore, Mr. Goodwill pretended he was seriously leisured by the other team. Jim was so mad when he found out the truth, but once he was in the game he managed to help a little. Well, not just a little, actually him and the other outcast of the team –Garret- worked together and won the game and their chance to go to the promised land. We were all so happy for Jim and his team, and what none of us expected was that Jackson got a surprise for the team and their friends in case they won.

Kristie and Jackson organized a paintball mayhem in the woods that afternoon. Something to have fun, act like kids, prove Jim that Jack could be a bad boy too and rise his status among the team. It was a great idea. In fact I had a lot of fun in there. I know I shouldn’t have gone but Kristie and Kyle made arrangements so Allison and I could join them there. Something wild and crazy took over me as the same it did with Kristie and Allison, who everyday grew fonder with each other. We set up traps to the other players and betrayed so many people that in the end of the game none of us knew to which team we belonged. Except for Kristie, that planned all that mess from the beginning.

Meanwhile we pretended we were five year old kids. Jim and this hot guy called Aidan wandered in the forest trying to find a cabin where a senile old man supposedly had a shed full of alcohol ready to be stolen. They had some issues in their way, and in the end they found out that it was all a lie and Jack was just trying to look cool in front of Jim. Jim got sick of Jack trying to be a bad boy, so he finally got drunk and mad enough to strip his butt in front of everyone and to skinny dip in the lake. Jack didn’t just freak out but also wanted to do it himself, but he had an arguing with his girl and they broke up.

I didn’t swim in the lake. Hell to the no! My self-esteem wouldn’t ever in the world let me be naked in the same place in a sea of perfect bodies and plus I was a pretty mad because I was freezing and Allison and Kristie almost killed my phone.

At the end of the night Kristie and Allison had an amazing idea to piss everyone off, so they stole their clothes and well there was a sort of witch hunt in the woods and Kyle ended yelling a lot of awful stuffs to Kristie and I felt pretty bad for her until I recalled that that was what I’ve wanted to do for months, so instead of telling what an ass he was, I went offered him my shoulder.

Jim and Jack had a long talk that night about being a good person and that stuffs and every time Jack said that Jim was a kind person Jim grew angrier and angrier until…Until he thought that maybe just maybe, Jack wasn’t that wrong after all, and there is when I found them in that cave and spied their conversation discovering that Jim had a vulnerable side that none of the betches, me included. Knew that existed.

That trip changed everything. Now I felt like I couldn’t trust Jim as much as I used. I couldn’t help feeling he had fall for Jack and worst of all the rest of the betches wouldn’t shut up by saying that they thought that Jack was in love with Jim and that Kyle felt the same way about me. I felt confused and dazed. Kyle couldn’t love me. He just was using me remember? They had to be wrong. The project’s presentation day was nearer every day. There was no place for misunderstandings and less for being love with our targets.

Speaking of no place for love, I had a serious conversation with Jim regarding of what I saw in the lake. He swore me that he didn’t have feelings for Jack, but…I don’t know. At first I didn’t believe him, but after some few words he kind of convinced me, though…To prove his loyalty for the project I forbid him to see Jack for a week and worst of all, and plus, he had to pretend he forgot Jack’s birthday that week.

As I said above, that week was Jack’s birthday, and since Kyle and Kristie’s relationship was already cracking I had a badass idea to make them break up. See, the reason of their fight in the forest was because Kyle was sick of Kristie’s childish pranks and her careless behavior, so….I had the idea of planning Jack’s birthday party. You might be wondering, how was that going to destroy their relationship? Well, it was pretty simple.

Allison helped me make Kristie think she wanted to give a birthday party for her cousin in her house, it would be something not too fancy and actually pretty quiet and boring as Jack himself. Kyle had to work that day, so he couldn’t assist, and here is when I got into the equation. I printed thousands of flyers inviting everyone to the coolest party of the year taking place in Kristie’s house, of course I made sure that neither Kyle nor Jack saw any of those. To make things more spicy, when her house got packed with a thong of strangers and have had enough alcohol, I started to take pictures of her dancing all slutty with tons of guys and uploaded them into my Facebook account. Great isn’t it? Well, the party wasn’t huge success after all.

One of the times I went out to call Liam and Freddy who were keeping Kyle busy in case he decided to pass by and check everything, I ended up running into the twins, and this asshole started to say all this crazy stuffs about feeling sorry for the prank video they recorded making fun of me. I was really pissed. I mean, did he really think that just for saying sorry everything would be okay? I could have killed myself! No way! I said a lot of stuffs to him and at the end I stormed out because he wouldn’t let me go.

Now that he was out of my way I tried to find Jack who would probably be pretty drunk by then, but it was useless. I couldn’t find him anywhere and in one of my hikes around the house I…Eavesdropped a conversation that Kristie and Allison were having in which Allison told Kristie she was looking for a place to move in with her boyfriend. Kristie thought she was talking about me, but…I knew better. She was taking Derek away from me. That was a low blow. The air escaped from my lungs and I found myself running away from them with the hope it would turn her words in lies. She couldn’t just take him away! He was mine! It wasn’t fair! Oh…And…For running like crazy, I…I kind of bumped with someone in that party and guess who that someone was?

Isaac. Do you remember Isaac? The guy who ruined my life and the reason why I was recording the horrible human beings project in the first place? Well, he was there. His eyes almost came out of their sockets when he saw me and since I was going through an emotional breakdown, the least person I wanted to see in the world was him, so I tried to get away from him while he kept grabbing me by the arm and acting like crazy in front of pretty confused multitude. It wasn’t just odd and awkward, it was humiliating. He wouldn’t let me go. For some reason he wanted to talk to me, but I didn’t want anything to do with him.

To make things more complicated, the person who came to rescue me turned out to be Derek, yeah that Derek. Last time we talked was when I was in the forest trying to repair my phone and he basically called to tell me that my parents were having arguing again and were disturbing his dad who was pretty sick. I…Kind of yelled at him to let me go, so it only made more awkward that he was stepping up for me in front of Isaac. Oh and remember, he was leaving with Allison for good and I got all those stuffs stuck in my chest. It was too much to bear.

Isaac and Derek started arguing and I had enough, because even when I missed Derek like crazy –though we still lived together- I couldn’t stand the idea of him acting like a charming prince, not when he was leaving me and I was the last one to find about it, so I told him and Isaac to fuck off and got out of there.

I ran into Kyle at the door. Christ! My life was freaking soap opera. I mean, all the guys that…Not that I had feelings for them, but…argh! They were a bunch of horrible human beings. I hated them all for so many reasons and now the three of them were in the same room looking at me.

I got out of there and Derek ran after me. I didn’t let him talk, I was really furious, so I said all the things I got stuck to loosen a little the lump on my throat. At the end I told him to go and move with Allison, get married and have kids because I didn’t want anything to do with him ever again.

It was a pretty crazy night.

You might be wondering what happened with Jim that day. Well, turns out that I was right and I couldn’t trust in Jim anymore, because while I starred days of our lives’ most fucked up episode, he was with Jack at his loft. Yeah, that’s the reason I couldn’t find Jack anymore. He grew tired of the party pretty fast and decided to go back to his house.

The week before the party and tried to reach Jim from everywhere and Jim didn’t answer his texts, calls and pretended he wasn’t home as I ordered him. Jack wouldn’t just let him go and actually he almost begged Jim to forgive him for whatever he had done to him, but there wasn’t any reply.

Now, the night of the party Jim decided to go out and meet with some friends because he was really bored at home. I didn’t’ work, he felt even worse, so he went to the club and tried to had sex with a pretty hot guy. Guess what? It didn’t work either, he just…Couldn’t help feeling he did wrong to Jack who was a very nice person and didn’t deserve Jim’s indifference. In other words, he thought that Jack showing up at his house and begging him to apologize him from outside was pretty cute.

He lost his mind and he couldn’t help it anymore. He showed up at the house of a pretty angry Jack to apologize for not being around with the excuse of being pretty sick those days. Jack bought his lie and they went to Jim’s loft where he got Jack’s birthday present. For some weird reason they ended up in the roof of Jim’s loft watching the starts and asking wishes and when Jack said that he wished Jim’s dreams became true, well…There was an earthquake in Jim’s insides and to make things worse when Jim gave him his present Jack started saying all kind of crazy things of how Jim was an angel, that he was the greatest person Jack ever knew and that thanks to him he was the happiest person in the world.

See all this crap? That’s the reason why I couldn’t trust Jim anymore, because after leaving Jack back in his home that night. Jim came to his and realized that he fell for Jackson Whittemore and he fell really hard.

My plan worked by the way. As soon as Kyle saw the party he went crazy and called Kristi’s aunt to put an end to it. But I found out about it later because I didn’t want to get out of bed that day. Even when I was mad at Derek, the idea of him leaving took me into a new level of depression, though I couldn’t stay there longer because Kyle came to my dorm to tell me that he suspected that Kristie was cheating on him and asked me to please find the guy for him. I said yes though, it was stupid to think Kristie was capable of such thing.

I didn’t do any research. I stayed at home those days feeling sorry for myself and starting to edit the final cut of the movie for the presentation day that was just weeks away. While I rummaged through the files of the videos I…Found out that some freak from my class had been following me the whole year! Can you believe it? It was scariest thing that happened to me in my whole life, though I didn’t give much importance to him, because he was part of an evil clique which only purpose in life was trying to be as cool as me. Their name was Coders and they swaggered around the campus as if it belonged to them, but they were just a bunch of sorry excuses of geeks that couldn’t stand that my movies were better than theirs. Anyway. I went straight to this kid’s room and scared the shit out of him so he would leave me alone. It was obvious their leader wanted to know what I was up to. But since my project’s cameras were the size of a nail, their plan failed.

I thought I was done with that issue, but it wasn’t that easy, because two days later I had the whole gang surrounding me and threatening me. I didn’t pay attention though, I was pretty busy and they were boring as hell, so I just left them there and ran to Kyle’s loft.

Kyle told me that he was going to have a conversation that day with Kristie about the party, which meant that they would argue again, but they were young adults and you know they had hormones and those stuffs, which meant that there was a big change that sex would fix everything and I couldn’t afford that. Kyle was almost mine, in fact after making him break up with Kristie I was going to kiss him so he could kick me bloody and I could record it for my movie.

I got to the left with Cass and Liam who got exciting news for me. I took Liam’s phone and started sending texts to Kristie pretending to be some guy while Kyle and she argued and we hid outside the door. It almost worked. Kyle was losing his patience for hearing her phone beeping almost every five seconds, if he…If he only had pick up her phone and read the texts I would have won. But he didn’t and she turned it off. Damn it! They sorted things out and I made a face pretty much like the internet’s fuuuu meme.

I got home really angry. Cass and Liam tried to appease me, and after a couple of minutes they achieved it. Is then when they told me about the great news they got for me. Cass was hired as Dj for the opening night of the new gay club in town and Liam was going to participate in their Drag Queen’s beauty contest. Those were major news because Liam always wanted to do drag but he never felt brave enough and Cass was starting a career as a Dj, actually he got job offers from everywhere. I was so happy for them. That’s when Liam’s phone beeped and we read a text from Kristie apologizing to the guy I pretended to be. She felt really sorry for what happened between them in the party and wanted to clear things up at his work the next day. That let me breathless. I couldn’t believe she actually cheated on Kyle after all. I got a chance! A last chance and I had to take the opportunity, I was going to take Kyle to that guy’s work and the same moment Kristie went to meet with him.

Don’t think I forgot about Jim. Those days were pretty interesting for him too. He woke up with a smile on his face almost every day. He wouldn’t stop thinking about Jack in rare occasions they weren’t together, because now it was impossible to see one of them without the other. But Jim’s happiness didn’t last long. First of all, he had to hide his feelings for Jack, because Jack was Christian, straight and also his enemy. He also felt guilty for betraying me and not recording anything else for the project, and…Jack’s mom. She was a pretty annoying woman and since she knew that Jack and Jim were pretty close she came out of nowhere one day and asked Jim’s help to convince Jack to get back with his girlfriend.

Jim didn’t find a way to say no, so he would ended up agreeing on helping. Of course he didn’t do it, he just told Jack what his mom asked him and told him that he should talk to his mother about it. Sadly Jack misunderstood everything and ended up getting back with his girl.

The night I found out that Kristie was cheating on Kyle. Jack’s mother invited Jim to their house for a special dinner of reconciliation. He knew it was going to be a pain in the ass, but again he didn’t want to be rude to the woman. When he got to Jack’s house that night he knew that something weird was going on. It wasn’t just a dinner but a pretty fancy one, that night he met the parents of Jack’s girl and for his surprise he found out that the girl’s dad was a closeted gay and the mother…She was disturbingly familiar to Jim, just like Jack’s mom and she also had that feeling about Jim –Not good at all-, and after eavesdropping a fight between Jack and his girl about Jim’s presence there, he came out to sit on his place and find Jack proposing to his insufferable Barbie doll and felt how his world crumbled.

That’s it. Jim’s life sucked pretty much at that point, but it only got worse when Kristie stood up in the dinner and said that Jack shouldn’t marry Beverly. There was a major brawl between Jack’s mom and the girl and in the end the woman kicked her out. Jim felt bad for her but he had no time for feeling sorry for anyone who wasn’t himself, so he took his leave but Jack stopped him right before climbing into his car and kneeled before him as you would expect your fairy tale’s prince to kneel before you to make you the happiest person in the world, but Jack didn’t want to marry him of course. He wanted to ask Jim to be his best mate in the wedding. That was it. Jim couldn’t play nice and cool anymore. He couldn’t just pretend he was made of stone, so…He was the bitch that the whole world said he was. He told Jack that he wasn’t his friend. That he never was and had been making fun of him at his back all that time. It was the best for both of them. Jim needed Jack to believe that he was a horrible person. That way he would let him go and Jim would be able to mourn his broken heart in peace.

When Jack finally let him go with watery eyes, Jim got into his car to find out that Kristie was waiting for him there. She let him know that she had always known that Jim had feelings for Jack, and also she believed that Jack felt the same way about Jim, but Jim wouldn’t listen. If Jack had feelings for him, he wouldn’t have proposed to Beverly in the first place.

Well, as you see things were starting to get pretty mess up in our lives. I mean, this is just a summary, the whole picture is even more complicated. Anyway, coming back to me. I found the way to follow Kristie to the job of the guy she was cheating on Kyle, and to make things more spicy….I fooled Kyle and told him I was taking him out to celebrate the end of our first week of finals. He agreed and we got into Liam’s truck while my friend gave me instructions of where Kristie was through an earphone.

She turned out to be going toward a fancy restaurant. I stormed in, scaring the shit out of the snobs that were getting their soups followed by Kyle. He didn’t know the real reason why we were there, so it was hard for me to look for Kristie in such big place. The funny thing about all this, is that it was Klein the end who found Kristie and my heart gave a lurch when I turned to find out with who she was talking.

It was Allison. Yeah, the same Allison that was my fake girlfriend, and the same Allison that was my best friend’s –Who I didn’t’ talk to- real girlfriend.

Lesbians. Was that for real? I had a lot of questions of my mind. But Kristie’s face confirmed everything. She looked so frightened and confused, as the rest. The only one who truly knew what the hell was going on there was me, and I did the only thing that seemed to make sense to do. I acted all cheesy with Allison and said that Kyle and I went to have lunch with Allison.

Twisted, wasn’t it? Well, it got weirder, because after dropping Kyle and Kristie back on his place, he…Hugged again, but tighter this time and he said that he knew I planned the lunch at the restaurant just to help him normalize things between Kristie and him. Funny, right? Well, he started acting odd. He said he didn’t deserve me and I felt…Really crappy for that.

We were just two weeks away from the project’s presentation day and I still didn’t have an ending. Even worse, I was pretty confused at that point, and considering the fact that I didn’t know that Jim was done with the project. Just do the math.

Jim got it pretty bad that week, without having Jack around he felt pretty miserable though he didn’t admit it of course. I worked hard for my finals and also had a mini movie brawl with the coders in one of the presentation days. They tried to humiliate me in front of the whole campus because I scared their minion and I took revenge by humiliating him even harder. As usual the movie I presented that day was a hit, but…It wasn’t just a hit but a huge success, actually it was the first time one of my movies got such impact. In matter of seconds everyone, and I mean EVERYONE in Oakwood was talking about me, and for your information Oakwood was huge. So…I was kind of a tiny celebrity in the school, which lasted just an hour or so.

After presenting my movie I went to meet Kyle at his work in the pizza place and he gave me my favorite as a present, because even though he worked his butt out that afternoon, he heard the news and you got to see the way he looked at me. It was so....Kind and genuine, but oddly disturbing.

When I got a booth to eat my pizza and see the comments people where leaving on Oakwood’s fan page. Brandon –The coder’s leader- Got in like a wild beast dragging his minion with him. He demanded me to apologize to the kid and I went mad and told him to fuck off because he had no right to ask me that after he sent him to follow me the whole year and then tried to humiliate me in front of the whole school.

He kept saying that he didn’t send him after me, but I didn’t believe him. I knew he was lying. I had prof, and when I turned to snatch my laptop and show him the videos, accidentally knocked my down my coke and it slouched all over my laptop.

Yeah, it died.

I almost had a heart attack when I saw that, and I recovered the control of my mind and body an hour later or so, when I was in my bedroom crying my lungs out and found out that Derek was asking me what have happened.

Let’s go back to Jim please. It is still hard to remember that moment of my life. Well, Jim…Jim was trying to continue with his life after losing any chance with Jack, but Kristie…She had other ideas in mind. She went to see Jim while they were on training and kept telling him that Jim needed to do something, because she knew that Jack was in love with him. Jim tried to make her understand how wrong she was, but the more she talked and explained to him her reason the less he felt sure of his words. Things were starting to get messed up again. He didn’t know what to do or believe and now all he wanted was a sign. He craved for a sign that told him that Kristie was right and Jack was in love with him after all, because if Kristie was right it meant that Jack basically begged Jim to save him from getting hitched with Beverly and Jim let him down, so in the end Jack wasn’t getting marry because he wanted, but because Jim sucked reading body language.

Coming back to my personal soap opera. I lost everything. All the files of the project were in my computer and since it was pretty much dead, it meant that there wasn’t going to be a movie, and plus, I would have to take that class again the next year. Surprising and confusingly, I felt sad and relieved at the same time.

I stayed away from the world for a whole year. Without eating or sleeping. Just thinking. Through my cosmic journey in the theater I realized a couple of things. I was sad because I lost all my hard work, but at the same time I was happy because I had a serious issues with procrastinating. Though I wanted to publish my movie and be a star in the school, I was afraid of what might happen next. Anxiety was a big issue for me those days, that’s the reason why I felt relieved. Deep down inside I wanted to find a reason to not publish the project because I didn’t have a plan of what I was going to do next after it was done, and because if the project was released Kyle wouldn’t want anything to do with me anymore and…I kind of….Enjoyed his company again. Let’s face it, I felt for him, not in a romantic way, but…I cared about him even if it was a little bit and I considered him my friend and didn’t want to imagine my life without him. The same way I still couldn’t imagine it without Derek when he finally moved in with Allison in matter of days. It was overwhelming and scary, but in the end I felt in peace with myself and it was then when I felt strong enough to come back to the real world.

The news about what happened to me spread quickly. That’s the thing about becoming celebrity. Suddenly everyone knew who I was, and also all of them had an opinion about my life and most of the school said that I destroyed my laptop just because I was desperate for attention. Derek knew better though. He took care of me even when I told that I was better, see why I say he is the best friend in the world? Even we he was mad of me for so many reasons that I lost count, he wouldn’t ever let me down.

People came to check me up those days. Allison was really helpful to finish to clear things up. I didn’t ask her about Kristie and whatever happened between them, because it scared me the answer I might get, and guessed that they had the right to deal with the situation themselves without any pressure, even when that meant that they were cheating. I just felt that it would be pretty vile of me if I told anyone about it.

The betches came that same day and tried to cheer me up in the only way they. Yup, they started mocking about me for being a virgin. I love those bastards, but sometimes I want to smack them in the head. Even though I was pretty happy to see them I missed one person in our clique. Jim. I didn’t know anything about him since the day we had the conversation about his feelings for Jack.

He showed up that Friday to drag me out of my room and take me to the opening night of the new bar in town. Remember? Cass was going to be the Dj in there and Liam would try to win the crown in the Drag Queen’s beauty contest. Well, he used that against me. Emotional blackmail about how I was letting down my friends for feeling sorry for myself when they had been supporting me for the past six months with my project and blah blah blah. I knew he was right, but I didn’t want to go anyway because I wasn’t in the mood. He won though.

We had a great night in the club. I mean, Liam made a stunning appearance and the wiped the floor with the other girls. He loved lovely and having his parents there supporting him was just amazing. Oh…Also, I ended up running into one of the twins, the same one who tried to apologize to me at Kristie’s home. That night I learned that his name was Craig, and he went there because Tim told him to. I was really mad to see him there because I hated him, but he wouldn’t stop apologizing and sending me hints about the possibility of him being gay and how scary the whole situation looked to him. It was so annoying.

Liam won the crown. We helped him with his musical number and I wore heels for the first time in my life –pretty uncomfortable- Even Craig helped and he looked like he was enjoying them moment. I started to felt so empathy for him after that. We decided to continue partying at Jim’s loft, so we came out of the club and one of the other contestants came after us to hug Liam and congratulate him for winning. That’s when everything went to shit.

We ran into a gang of bullies that started to make fun of us. But since we’re as everybody else we shot back to them and started to make them feel uncomfortable about themselves to give them a lecture about hate and ignorance. They took it pretty bad though, because they started to chase us to beat the living hell out of us and…Rape us.

It was one of the scariest nights of my life. We ended up in a parking lot running for our lives. I aided Liam to run since he was wearing a dress and they beat me and kicked the air out of my lungs while other dragged Liam away from me and he cried for help. Craig saved me and I was so shocked and relieved until the way he save me from recognized him and he panicked and ran away.

I saved Liam from some of them that were trying to rape him while he kept hearing the horrible screeches of the other drag queen and Liam told me that we needed to go there, but I couldn’t think. I was so scared and needed to take him to a safe place first. He convinced me in the end, but it was too late. Shaneleslie was raped and lay unconscious in the ground. I fought them but they were too many and in the end I was choking on my own blood.

When I came back to sense a group of people was saving us. The gang ran away scared and Cass helped me stand up just to find that…The guys who saved us were the guys of Oakwood’s soccer team. Which included Jack and Kyle.

I ran away. I couldn’t face the fact that Kyle knew the truth about me. I couldn’t just stay calm after all the awful things that we lived that night. My mind kept taking me to Shaneleslie lying on a pool of blood. I needed to know what happened, I needed to go to the hospital.

The betches were there already when I got outside of the intensive care alley. We stayed in silence for hours, until we were kicked out by an angry man who we guessed was her father.

Derek almost fainted when he saw me. He went into full protective mode and started to hug me and to press me tight against his chest while he continued to break our embrace to take a closer look to my face. He swore he would find those bastards. He said he was going to kill them, but I got to appease him. I wanted to forget that awful night and just get back to normal. It wasn’t that easy though. The betches were concerned about Liam, so we went to spend the day with him. There we learned that Shaneleslie’s name was Anthony Williams and he was better now. He would come out of the hospital in a couple of days, also I saw how Liam’s life changed from a day to other. It was like being with a completely different person, even though he wasn’t raped. They took something from him that night, and that thing was his light. It was so hard to see.

Meanwhile Jim had to face the consequences of the way he came out of the closet. The whole team were making fun of him for being gay. Except for Garret and Aidan. Even though Jack wasn’t laughing he didn’t do anything to stop the others. Actually he was acting as if Jim didn’t exist.

The coach wasn’t on sight and as soon as they Jack mad, he decided to take care of that day’s training session. He did everything on his power to punish Jim for being the way he was by forcing them to make tons of hard exercises, because according his logic, if Jim was gay he was more fragile than the rest of the team, but in the end Jim ended up humiliating them all by being the only one standing in the end. Jack got mad a forced him to make more and more things, and breathless Jim did them, until he lost his patience and told Jack how infantile he was acting and they had an arguing and Jim make him take his place in the goal. Jim punished Jack hard, he lost his sense for a couple of minutes and the wrath took over him.

Kyle stopped him suddenly. Jim blinked and he saw how Jack stood got out of there without saying anything. Everyone looked at Jim as if he was crazy. Kyle came on charge and Jim stayed for hours waiting for Jack to come out of the locker room. At the end he grew tired and got inside to find Jack. When he heard snivels he felt anger scorching his guts, but then he realized that Jack was crying for another reason. Emily, Jim’s friend from the community center for kids with cancer died minutes ago.

Jim needed a pair of minutes to come back to his senses. He felt awful for hearing those news, but seeing Jack in such state was killing him. Emily was fine, he thought she was getting better. But now she was gone. It changed everything. He tried to talk to Jack but he wouldn’t listen and also hurt Jim. At the end he came out to find a bar. Concerned that he might do something stupid Jim came after him.

Jack started drinking and went drunk pretty quickly. They talked for hours and he was rude to Jim the whole night. Telling him how wrong he was for being gay. Asking a lot of questions about me and if Jim and I were a couple. It wasn’t just awkward for Jim but also very painful. The despise in Jack’s words was too much to bear and if it wasn’t enough, after threating Jim like crap he begged him to let him sleep in his loft, though he let very clear that he wouldn’t sleep in the same room as Jim –Asshole-

Jim was carrying on his back more weight than what he could handle, and after leaving Jack in the couch he went to his bed and finally crumbled. He wasn’t strong enough to keep going and pretending that everything was fine or making himself believe that he was strong. He started crying for the first time in years because everything sucked in his life and now Emily was gone.

People use to say that when you hit bottom the only place where you can go then is up. But the following day was even harder for Jim. Going to Emily’s funeral was a million of times worst of what he imagined it. There wasn’t a way he would be able to continue with his life after that. He felt sadness and anger. He wanted to cry and kick because life was unfair. He tried to find some comfort by holding Jack’s hand, but the guy went crazy and started yelling things at Jim, and Jim couldn’t help it anymore and he told him how wrong he was for thinking that it was his responsibility to take care of him. Jim let him very clear that he had feelings too, that he needed a shoulder where to cry and that Jack was acting like a horrible person.

Some realization came to Jack’s eyes after those words. They went to drink again and Jack got drunk once more. After leaving Jack on the couch, Jim went to his bed just to find that the guy followed him. Jack got into his bed and asked Jim to hold him.

Jim hesitated a bit and did it. Once they were wrapped in each other arms Jack asked Jim to promise him that he wouldn’t die before he did, because even when he always had been a very independent person his whole life. He knew he couldn’t live in a world where Jim didn’t exist. See how fucked up this Jackson Whittemore was? Damn! That’s the reason why our poor Jimmy was so confused. Jack was crazy if you ask me. I mean, what about his girlfriend? What about his mom? He could have said those words to any other living being, but Jim? After the way he treated him those days?

Speaking of being an asshole. I had wonderful days with Derek and now and I had to pay the price for being the major asshole I was the whole year. That Monday was the day I would had present the horrible human beings project in our class, and since I didn’t have a movie I had no reason to go, but I did to support Derek. Surprisingly I found out that Derek put my name in his AMAZING movie, just to save my ass. See? He kept doing it. I’ll say this just one last time. He is the best friend in the world, and I didn’t deserve him.

I went crazy when I saw that and told him that he shouldn’t have done that, because despite the fact that I deserved to fail. The movie was a huge success, but since it got my name next to Derek’s everyone forgot he existed and I got all the attention and the congratulations. It wasn’t fair, at all. Plus, Mr. Geek pants checked up my laptop and got to save my hard drive and….Major plot twist. I didn’t lose the project! Can you believe it? After the things I went through, the project was still alive, and Derek saved the files even when he didn’t’ believe in what I was doing! Okay I know I say this every two paragraphs, but…Derek is the best friend in the world! I couldn’t believe that got to do such selfless thing for me. I wanted to tell him so many things, but I didn’t know from where to start. In that very moment Kyle came out of nowhere and asked me a couple of minutes alone.

I hesitated but followed him. We had a conversation about my sexuality and how confused he was because I hid it from him. At the end Kyle told me that he had always known I was gay and that it was cool, he knew what was like to be bullied for being gay even when he wasn’t, but people just assumed it because he was in the acting program. I felt pretty bad. Kyle was so nice with me and I couldn’t believe he knew about my pain. Also he gave me an application sheet to get into the winter’s film festival that was taking place next December. I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea, but I accepted because he wouldn’t let me say no. Right then he saw Jack and went to talk to him about something. I ran into Jim who was looking for Jack and I took him with Kyle and Jack behind an oak.

Without planning it, we kind of eavesdropped their conversation, and well, Jack was said pretty awful things about Jim and gays in general. Kyle was trying to make him understand that there was nothing wrong with being gay, until Jack asked him if he would think the same if I was in love with him. That changed everything. The moment my name came into the conversation Kyle’s speech changed and now he said it would suck because we were really close but if I was his friend just to try to turn him gay he would get into my game and make regret it.

It changed everything. Jim and I stepped back openmouthed. They were awful persons. We couldn’t believe they truly said those words. Still speechless we found the betches and Liam quickly showed us a video that one of Anthony William’s friends recorded. He was pretty angry telling how unjust society was and how messed up everything was those days. He was right Anthony didn’t deserve what happened to him, but still there were people making fun of the situation just because he was a guy in a dress. It was awful and painful. The guy in the video made a warning. Since stonewall everything changed and he wouldn’t let things get clogged again. I felt his anger burning in my chest, and I’m sure the betches did to. Someone had to do something, we couldn’t stay arms crossed while we were mocked, humiliated, raped and murdered just because of our sexuality and genders. We would fight back. We decided to continue with the project and inscribe it in the winder’s film festival. That day we wrote the betches manifesto. That day was the day an idea became something way bigger. That was the first day of a new era that was about dawn.

Well, here is where we left it. I highly recommend you to sit down, because my horrible and sweet revenge starts now and believe me. What happened next was frigging crazy.


	2. WINGS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I finished the chapter 3 dyas ago, but I didn't have time to upload it. Finally here is it. I think next time I'll post three short chapters at once, I'm not sure yet, it is just that big things are coming and I'm not sure how to deliver them. Thanks 4 reading lots of hugs from Venezuela.

**WINGS**

I had a dream that week. A very significant one. I don't know if I told you this before, but…In the past, I used to dream that I could fly. I can't remember the first time I did have it, but I dreamed about it at least once in a week, and even though my dreams always were in different places, they were always the same. I was always in a plain and long terrain and suddenly I had this amazing feeling bursting in my chest. I rejoiced in happiness because finally I recalled the trick to be able to fly again and for the first time this wasn't a dream. Is kind of sad when you think about it, because my whole life my only real dream has been be able to fly –Please don't tell anyone- which is impossible. I can't explain it with words, but it is kind of frustrating, I don't know…I…Feel like I knew how to fly, I used to fly very often, but something happened to me. Something tore my wings into pieces, until they couldn't be fixed, like broken glass.

That is the reason why I liked so much dreaming that I could fly. It was like reconnecting with my true self. I know…Maybe I can't fly for real, but I found new ways to do it as I grew up, but I didn't matter how successful my movies could be in the campus or how much people tweeted about them the whole day, nothing can compares to the feeling of being in a free fall and rise again right when you're about to hit the floor, just to get back to the top and touch the clouds with your bare hands.

That's the funny thing about all this. It isn't a metaphor but I think my brain processed it that way, because…I never flu again, not…Not after Isaac. I don't know why, but it never happened again and I forgot about the whole thing, until...Until that night. I can't remember much about my dream, I just remember that Kyle was astonished by seeing me fly, actually everyone was except for me. I was happy because I finally could fly being awake. Of course I woke up, but with a smile on my face.

It was a sign.

I woke up to the muffled ranting of man somewhere between Derek's bare chest and the quilt.

I looked up. Derek paused the video he was watching and smiled at me pleased. "Not a single nightmare"

I gaped and arched a brow. "Really?"

He nodded.

I sighed with relief. Since all that crap of being beat by that bunch of homophobes…I kind of… you know. I had sleeping issues. Serious sleeping issues.

The following days after the incident were hard for Derek and me, because even when he did everything on his power to keep my mind busy and amused with all the things we like to do. He couldn't protect me in my dreams. I woke up at least four times in a night screaming in my sleep and scaring the shit out of him. That is the reason I was in his bed, I still had the nightmares, but when I woke up all confused and looking at their eyes as they kicked me, feeling Derek's reassuring words and his warm and tight embraces made everything better.

"Well, is good to know that I'm not going mental" I joked.

"You're not going mental. You just went through a lot of stuffs, and it is fine. It's just post-traumatic stress. Maybe we should talk to someone"

I hurried to shake my head. "It's okay, I'm fine" I affirmed.

"Stiles" He threw me once of those –Why-you-never-listen-to-me-if-you-know-I'm-right glances and I chugged.

"Oh come on Derek. I'm fine. I promise"

"I'm not saying you're not fine….I just…Want a professional opinion"

"We can't go" I laughed. "They will take my Stilesness"

"Stilesness?" He arched a brow.

I got up from his chest and laughed. "You know…My inner genius. The reason why my movies are so fucked up. A bit of anxiety, a part of insomnia, a spoonful of socializing issues and a drop of sarcasm"

"A drop?" He said incredulous.

I glared at him and then chuckled. "Alright, alright. Two drops"

He rolled his eyes. "I can't believe you, sometimes"

And here we were, about to have an arguing about my mental health. It wasn't a big deal, actually Derek and I argued about pretty much everything, but we were used to it. I think it was part of being best friends, but…After the shitty friend I was last year, I wanted to make things different for him, because let's face it.

I didn't deserve Derek at all.

I mean, he was the sweetest and kindest person in the world and just because he was my best friend I had no right to treat him the way I did all those months.

So there it was. My new resolution for that year and ahead. I was going to treat Derek the way he deserved, and to start I was going to avoid the fights. So, instead of having a long and boring arguing about who was crazy and who wasn't, I rested my head in his chest again and clicked the play bottom of the video he was watching.

"Is a clear warning of an upcoming terrorist attack from this subversive group" A man said to a reporter.

"What is that?" I asked frowning at the screen.

"Local news" Derek replied a bit bored. "I don't know if you saw it, but one of Anthony's friends uploaded a video to YouTube and…"

"Yeah I saw it, what it has to do with it?"

"Well, Senator Phillips is very conservative and extremist, and he is suggesting that there might be a terrorist attack"

I chugged. "Are you kidding? Terrorist drag queens?"

"I know is stupid, but this guy is an asshole, and it might be good to keep an eye on him"

"Don't pay attention to him. He is just a frigid asshole who secretly fantasies with gay sex"

"Really?" Derek looked at me stunned.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm kidding Derek, I never met the guy before. Come one, get your ass out of bet" I sat and closed the laptop. "I'm making you breakfast"

Derek scoffed. "You know? You can't actually call it making breakfast if you just go to the store and buy it"

I balled my hands and took a pillow to smack him the head. "Don't ruin my goodwill. I'm trying to make something nice for you, asshole" I said as I hit him copiously.

"Someone woke up with the wrong foot" I heard her Allison's voice at my back and I stopped short embarrassed.

"Oh! Hey…What are you doing here so early?" I asked.

"Didn't I tell you? I have a whole week for myself"

"Really?" I said excited as the engines started to turn inside me.

"Does it mean you're coming with us to Sunset Valley?" Great…Odds started to smile at me.

"I can't. I only have a week off, and next week I was thinking about…"

I snorted. "Is not next week. Is today afternoon"

"Really?" She said shocked.

"Wait a second" Said Derek taking his arms from his face. "Are you going to the championship?" He asked surprised.

"Didn't I tell you? I'm sure I asked you to come" I said thoughtful. "Or was it Cass? I can't remember"

"I didn't know you were planning on going" He affirmed a little hurt.

"Oh I'm so sorry" I said embarrassed. "It was all Kyle's idea, and I want to go to support Jim. You know, the betches and I want to stick together more than usual after what happened"

"So…Sunset Valley uh?" Derek said thoughtful.

"The beach, the summer. Jim and you getting your butts in trouble…I…I don't think it's a good idea"

"Why not?" Allison chuckled. "This is exactly what Stiles and his friends need. Forget about everything, have some sun. Get laid"

I rolled my eyes.

"I know, but…You know Stiles already. He has certain affinity for getting in troubles" He pointed out.

"EXCUSE…I…I mean…You're right Derek, and I'm so sorry" I lowered my voice at time and eased my face. "That is why you should come with us, that way you'll make sure I don't get my ass in trouble or anything"

He hesitated before replying. "I…I don't know Stiles. I thought today would be a good day to get back home"

"Home?" I asked sighing. "Derek. Sunset Valley will be just four days, then we will have all summer to go home. Our parent's aren't going anywhere" At least I hoped my parent's didn't, because if they went to a cool place like England without me, they were dead. "So?"

"Maybe next time"

"Oh! You're such a killjoy" I turned toward Allison. "What about you? A whole free week. Think about it. Us, the beach. Hot guys to watch, in tight swimsuits, very tight swimsuits"

"I…I don't know Stiles. It won't be the same without Derek. Maybe next year"

What? She rejected me after the " _hot guys in tight swimsuits_ " comment? I was right. She was a lesbian. Very lesbian.

I looked at both of them with some anger. "Are you kidding? Next year I'm signing contract for my first blockbuster after graduation. I won't have time for this. Come on guys! This is our last summer before becoming boring grownups"

Derek glanced down embarrassed and Allison parted her lips "Maybe in a couple of weeks or…."

"No, it's fine. Is your guy's summer. I'm being selfish"

Crap! Being nice and selfless with Derek was sad and boring.

...

Talking about sad and boring is speak about one Jackson Whittemore.

There they were.

"Are you sure about this?" Jim asked biting his bottom lip.

"Is the only way" Jack affirmed looking away.

Jim nodded and looked around. This was the first time he was inside Jack's room, and there isn't much to say about it. It was a normal boy's room, with the neatly made bed and a bible in the nightstand, apart from that it was mostly empty. No posters, no discs, no music, no television or computer and more importantly…Spotless.

Jim would have become crazy in seconds for being there inside, if it wasn't for…The pictures.

It is true. If you ask me Jack's room was boring as the guy himself, but Jim….Well, he was kind of high those days, because he saw beauty in weird things. Anyway, he was marveled by the walls of Jack's room. There were pictures. Hundreds of them. It was Jack…With them. With all of them, having fun, playing hide and seek, smiling,

There she was.

Jim wasn't stupid. By the looks in the pictures Jack had been a volunteer for many years. Emily couldn't be the first child he lost.

Was it that way every time it happened? Jack sunk himself into darkness until he forgot?

It couldn't be just that. Emily wasn't just one of the kids. Jack loved her deeply as if she was his daughter, or else…He wouldn't have been acting so callow by asking Jim do this for him.

It was painful. Jim tried not to look at the pictures while he took them down and put them in the box. Especially Emily's.

Like that one for example it. Do you see it? Right at the left of Jim's head. Jim didn't know Jack had that picture. Paige took it three months ago. Jim was sitting with Emily in the grass as they both looked at Jack reading a fairy tale.

I know this is stupid, but….You know, he kind of thought that the three of them looked like…A family.

"Are you boys ready?" Asked Jack mom's voice.

Jim jolted and sighed. Another thing you need to know about the Wood's family, is that all the rooms had their doors, but only the bathrooms had latches. It was something Jim still had to get used to.

"Just a couple of minutes" Jim said with a bland smirk as he hurried to take down the pictures without looking at them. In part he could understand why it was so hard for Jack do it himself, it was like taking vacuum and get rid of everything, including the good and bad memories, but they had to do it, Jack had been sleeping over Jim's for too long and even when Jim wanted to help and everything, he just…He still was hurt for the way Jack behaved the past days.

It was complicated. Jim still had strong feelings for Jack, and I can't blame him. The thing he said in Jim's bed the other night…Was awfully beautiful and disturbing and it wasn't good at all, because it made feel Jim in one way, while Jack said Kyle quite the opposite. Jim didn't know what game Jack was playing, but maybe it would be the best if Jack came back home, he was getting married after all. Jim had to step to the side and instead playing dysfunctional house with him, he had to focus on the project because just like me, he understood that this whole thing was bigger than us and that after all the things he heard Jack said he had to be strong and let his feelings to a side for the greater good.

"Are you hungry James? I can bring you boys some cereal" Mrs. Whittemore offered with her usual singsong voice.

Jim wasn't hungry, but it was kind of awkward having the woman there without saying a word and making Jim feel uncomfortable, so he nodded.

Jim continued taking pictures down from the walls while Jack sat in the bed with his eyes focused on him.

Jim had no idea what the hell was coming through the former captain's mind, but after a couple of minutes his eyes and his neck started to become a pain the ass. Luckily Annie came accompanied by Archie and Paula.

Annie turned fourteen last week. She was the eldest of Jack's little siblings and had Down syndrome. Her birthday was the only day Jim got to take Jack out of bed that week and they just stayed a couple of minutes to give Annie a new computer for her birthday. Then they were gone. Jack didn't even look at his girlfriend Beverly that day, which…Deep inside, made Jim feel a bit happy.

"I wish I could go with you" Annie complained relaying her head in the door frame.

"It's fine. I bet it won't be a big deal"

Annie rolled her eyes and pouted her mouth. "You just say that to cheer me up"

"James?" Archie said with puppy eyes. "Can we go with you?"

Jim, who was trying not focus on them to not feel worst that he already felt. Chugged to that last pleading and chocked a chortle.

He put the box on the floor for a minute, approached Archie and Paula and kneeled before them.

"I'm so sorry buddies. Jacky and I had to make some very boring stuffs in Sunset Valley for a couple of days and we will be very busy, so…I think you would better stay"

"But I want to go to the beach" Paula said with sadness.

"I know, I know…And I…." He scratched his chin. "What about next time? I could talk to your mom and on the next holydays, Jacky and I could take you out"

Paula frowned thoughtful and Annie scoffed.

"What do you say? Or even better! What if….I take you to my parent's house? They have a huge pool"

"Really?" The younger children said excited.

"Yeah, it would be nice. Don't you think Annie?"

"Yeah, right" Annie said listlessly.

"What's going on with you? Why are you so grumpy?"

"Why? Because I want to go with you. I really want to but my mom…"

"Annie" Jack warned her from the bed.

"What? I was going to say that she won't let me go"

"Annie, I really want you to go, but we will be too busy with the championship. We won't have time to take care of you"

"I'm fourteen! I don't need you to babysit me!"

"Hey! Hey! It's okay" Jim made signs to Annie to calm down. "You're invited to my house too" He affirmed.

She rolled her eyes. "It's not about the beach and the sun or a pool James….I just…"

Then Jim saw it. He didn't understand how he didn't see it before. Annie was growing up. Even if she had Down syndrome, she was a teenager. A teenager who had been forced to live under very strict rules her whole life, and she was starting to grow sick of it.

"We will figure something out. Okay?" Jim affirmed. "For now on, have fun in the church's summer camp"

"Yeah, right" She sighed and got out.

"Is everything okay here?" Mrs. Whittemore asked when she came in after Jim took the box and continued the wall's peeling.

"Mom…I wanna go with Jack and James" Archie said again with his puppy eyes.

Mrs. Whittemore handled Jim his bowl and then went to give another to Jack, who just put it next to him in the bed.

Jim rolled his eyes.

"You're too young and Jack and James will be too busy to take care of you"

The kids looked down defeated and trudged out of the room.

"This kids" Mrs. Whittemore chuckled as she approached Jim and patted his back. "Before I realize they both will be sixteen and my hair will fall apart"

"Is okay, I think…."

"Oh! Look how late it is" The woman let out suddenly. "Won't you boys miss your bus?"

Jim looked at the watch in his wrist and chugged. She was right, it was a bit late. It wouldn't be if Jack would have woke him up early as he promised the night before.

"It's okay. We won't take the bus. I'll drive us there"

"You should get yourself ready. Beverly must be waiting for you already" The woman pointed out.

  1. Thought Jim. He had the hope that everyone else forgot about it so he could accidentally forget to pick up that bitch.



He nodded. "Yeah…"

"Don't worry about this. I'll finish it myself" The woman offered.

"It's fine" Jim affirmed. "I'm almost done"

"Alright, then I'll get some snacks for the trip"

"Thanks" He smiled.

He hurried to finish his duty as he promised and trying to keep his mind busy to not look at the pictures and feel the lump coming once more to his throat.

"You know?" Jack suddenly said and Jim snapped.

"You're kind of good with kids"

Jim snorted. "You think so?" Arched a brow.

"Yeah. Archie and Paul love you. I'm sorry for Annie's behavior, I don't…"

Jim shook his head. "It's fine. I kind of understand. She is growing up and is starting to find the house too short. Everyone comes through that. It happened to me too"

"Really?" Jack said shocked.

Jim nodded taking the last picture to put it in the box. He looked at it unconsciously.

It was taken the first time Jim went to the community center. When Jack asked him to disguise as a dragon. The day he met Emily and the rest of the kids. Actually in the picture he was growling while the girls pretended to be scared and Jack –The prince- protected them. It was now when he noticed the look on his own face in that picture.

He was smiling. Even before fully meeting them. He loved them, every single one of them.

Maybe Jack was right.

"You will be a great dad one day"

Jim snorted. "Um… Jacky, I can't have kids. Remember?" Jim hinted him.

"Oh…Yeah I forgot that…Well you don't know that fully, maybe you're just confused and…"

"I knew I got some cookies and snacks saved" Mrs. Whittemore said out of nowhere and Jim's heart lurched.

"Great, it's time to go" He hurried to say taking the containers.

Mrs. Whittemore accompanied them to the front door and before leaving gave a big hug to Jack who smiled listlessly at her and climbed to Jim's car.

The face of the woman darkened with concern.

Jim sighed. "It's okay. He will be fine. You don't need to worry"

"I know" Mrs. Whittemore affirmed. "It is just that…It have been almost two weeks"

"He will heal eventually"

"With your help, I bet he will" The woman replied with a tender smile.

Jim smiled back.

"Please take care of him James. Make sure he eats and sleeps well and don't let him drink alcohol again or get in trouble"

 _Seriously? Shouldn't you say that to Beverly?_ Jim thought angrily, but in the outside he just nodded and climbed in the car.

….

Even when I was sad because Derek wasn't joining us in the trip, I felt a bit relief. I mean, Derek loved me and I loved him too, but we both knew that he didn't like the idea of the project at all. That was the thing. I was going to spend most of the time using what I got in hand there, to play with Kyle's mind and recording everything and Derek wouldn't like that. Even when he respected my decisions I had no right to force him to be part of them. I wanted to do nice things for him, but they would have to way until I get back home. I still had a whole summer ahead.

The sun…shiny sun. I hate the sun. Did I mention it before? Well yeah, it is itchy and annoying and doesn't let you see anything with it is too sparkly. It was if someone gave one of the brochures Kristie printed, because that day was the first fully sunny day in months. The air was hot and moist.

I felt all clammy and our trip hadn't even start yet. Speaking of the trip. Last year I went through makeover because the betches thought I was the saddest and most boring gay in the world. I always wore big pants and large sweaters. I did it because I thought that I looked good, but let's face it, you don't need to be a psychiatry to know that I was just trying to hide as much of me as possible.

The betches made me look more "appealing" by forcing me to throw my savings on designer's clothes that fitted my body. That included thigh pants that made my butt look to big and too short t-shirts that still said in the label that were two sizes bigger than me. My wardrobe changed for summer too. After having a late breakfast with Allison and Derek, I picked up my stuffs and got out of our dorm wearing short cargo pants, very tight again. A top tank with bright colors and a nasty design, a pair of sneakers that were surprisingly comfortable, sunglasses and a beige sun hart.

Cass picked the style for me. I just needed cool tattoos on my arms and I would have looked like a skater or a surfer, except for the fact that I had chicken arms of course. Anyway, I felt a bit attractive though very out of the place at the same time. One thing is to fill the outfit and a way different other is to get in character. So I walked down the campus trying my new self.

No one paid attention to be. That was good, at least. I rather to be invisible than being watched and mocked. I went to the font near the economy's dorms and washed my face to refresh myself a little. When I opened my eyes, saw the large line of cars in the parking lot.

It was time.

I grabbed my bag and walked toward them as I noticed that many others did the same. Actually…A lot of people did. Almost everyone who didn't go home the past week when the school year officially ended.

I felt a bit anxious about being there. I mean, I wasn't used to show that amount of skin and also trying this new attitude was kind of complicated because I didn't know how to act cool and relaxed when I had to look like a drug-dealer.

Never mind. I found them almost at the end of the line and hell that it was a very long line. How cool isn't it? It looked like Kristie's plan to get almost everyone in Oakwood to support the soccer team almost worked. Of course there weren't eight thousand cars, but there were more than two hundred and all of them were packed with people.

"Hey Sweetie" Liam smiled at me from the pilot's seat of his truck.

"Hey" I smiled back. I was happy to see that he was starting to feel fine for real and not just pretending to not concern us.

"Hey betch" Said Tim from next to Cass who was deeply snoring in the middle of them.

I waved at Tim and prepared to climb next to him. "How did you manage to the day off?"

"I quit" Tim chuckled.

"Are you crazy?" I said shocked.

"It doesn't matter. I was going to gut anyway. I was Sick of working for those miserable"

"Wow, wait. Are you coming with us? "Liam asked confused.

I arched a brow. "Yeah?"

"Sweetie, I'm really sorry, but there is no place for you here"

"What?" I let out angrily. "But there is an empty place"

"Hip got to taken piss" Tim pointed out.

"I thought you were going with Kyle, Sweetie" Liam said embarrassed.

"No! He is going in the bus of the team. I can't go there" Well, I still could get into Jim's car. "Have you guys seen Jim?"

"He passed by ten minutes ago. He is two cars ahead"

"Thanks" I said with some disappointment and left them there.

I found Jim just were Liam he would be. He was checking up his car to make sure everything was fine. When I arrived, the first thing I noticed was that in the passenger seat was a girl. Jack's girl to be more specific, and in the back was Jack look through the window with his eyes lost.

"Hey" I said joining Jim while he looked at the engine with scrutinizing eyes. "Everything alright?"

"Hey Betch" He said without looking at me. "Yeah, it seems that everyone is okay for the ride"

"Great, because my shitty friends kicked me out of their car"

Jim chuckled. "Really? What did you do?"

"Nothing, it is just that Hip changed his mind in the last minute"

"He is coming after all? That's cool, I didn't see him when I passed to say hi"

"It seems like we will be together on this after all" I smirked.

"Don't be so melodramatic, it's a stupid championship, ain't like I'm winning the world cup or anything"

I rolled my eyes. You…You just couldn't say anything nice to Jim. He would always found a way to make you regret it.

I grabbed my bag when he closed the hood and we went to the back to open the trunk when Jim stopped short and blinked thoughtfully to later crane his neck toward me.

"I'm…I'm sorry Stiles. You will have to find another car"

I frowned. "What? Why?" I asked with anger. What the hell was going on with my friends that day?

Jim pointed with his thumb at his back.

I arched a brow annoyed and peeked through the window behind Jim. Inside you could…See Jack laying all over the backseat with his eyes closed.

"He needs to rest, he…"

What the fuck? He was awake! He was awake just a minute ago, and he didn't look tired at all…He…Was…

I grabbed Jim by the arm and pulling him down so I could talk to him freely. "He can go in the bus with the rest of the team" I pointed out.

"Yeah, but I though…"

"He is lying betch….He was awake just…"

"Stiles…."

Oh my god! Was this for real? He was letting me down for that stupid Jackson Whittemore?

"He came through a lot Stiles, we both did"

"I know and I'm sorry, but that doesn't mean he has the right to push me out of your life" I growled and darted my eyes toward him. There he was with his eyes closed and breathing evenly, but I knew…I knew he was listening.

"Is everything alright here?" Said a voice that sounded vaguely familiar.

I turned and found that guy. The cute one from Jim's team. I couldn't remember well, but I though his name was Aidan.

"Yeah…Just…My friend can't find a car to go"

What? "Excuse me? I found a car but you…"

"I know you" Aidan said frowning at me.

Oh, here it came. Something relate to the night in the club.

"You were the guy who almost won the paintball game. You're Mitchell"

"Stiles"

"Sorry" He apologized. "Well, you can come with me if you want Stiles" He said selflessly.

I smiled. "Really?"

"Really?" Said Jim shocked.

"What's the matter?" I asked frowning.

"Are you seriously going to Sunset Valley in that bike?" Jim reproached.

"What's the matter? I love the road. The breeze, the sun…It will be amazing"

Jim's eye sparkled. "What about the coach?"

"He said something like. 'I have no time for tis now, if you die do us all a favor and shred to pieces to at least have the team complete for the championship'"

"So…" Jim said thoughtful. "You're seriously going to do a three hours trip in that wheeled coffin?"

"What? Do you want a ride?" Aidan arched a brow and look at Jim mischievously.

"Stiles…Would you drive to…"

I grabbed Jim by the arm and dragging him the back of the trunk. "Are you seriously going to give me your car for a bike?

"No" He shook his head. "I'm going to let you down for hot guy in a bike"

We both craned our necks and Aidan looked at us confused.

Oh my…What the hell was going on between those two and what…?

"Hey! What's going on guys? Is good to see you Stiles" Said Jack though for some reason he didn't look as happy to see me as if said he was.

Awake! See? He was awake! It was all a farce!

"Hey Jack" I replied with poorly pretended smile.

"It's Jackson, actually" Jack corrected me.

"Oh, my bad"

"Hey! You're all here" I heard his voice and…Well a mix of a lot of confusing things went through me.

I had to make an effort not to smile too much when I saw him, and I definitely couldn't smack him in the head for the things I heard him say the other day. I didn't matter, I was strong and got an impeccable control of my feelings.

"What's up guys?" Asked Kyle hanging an arm around my shoulders.

I rolled my eyes and swallowed my urgency to take his arm down. Kyle always was a bit sticky and annoying, but since… I told him I was gay, it looked like he felt I trusted him blindly, because now it was almost impossibly to get from on top of me.

"Hey, not much" Said Jack casually. "I was just going to suggest Stiles he could go with you in the bus, since there is a lot of place there, and _'no one'_ can go with Aidan because he only got one helmet"

I snapped my head toward him and almost…Argh! When he became such a big asshole? It was just me or he just forbid Jim to get into that bike?

"I…Don't think the coach would…"

"Come on, you're the captain. I bet you can do something about it" Jack affirmed nodding.

Captain? Kyle…"You're the captain now?" I said shocked.

Kyle nodded. "Didn't I tell you?"

"No! Congratulations!" I said pretending to be excited and hugging him hard enough to respond to his sudden and out of the place affections.

He hugged me back, and I'm pretty sure half of the campus saw us, but no one said anything. That was lame, when is homophobia when you need it? I wanted Kyle to be put on the horns of a dilemma, but people wouldn't cooperate.

"I'll talk to the coach and I'll be back in a min…"

"Hey Kyle" Allison's voice said and…Allison! Allison!

I spun…Here she came happily accompanied by Derek.

"What are you guys doing here?" I said excited.

"We were going to go out feeling bad because all what you said and then we ran into Hip and he convinced us"

"Really?" Great! Those were amazing news! Awesome news! "Were did you left your car? I'll put my things and then…"

"Wait… Stiles…Wouldn't you be coming with me?" Kyle's eyes popped open and he looked at me and then at Derek.

"No thanks, don't worry. I don't want you to get in trouble with your coach because of me"

Kyle snapped. "I wouldn't get…" He shook his head. "Never mind, I'm happy to know that you found the way to get there"

And said so the line of cars started moving.

"It's time" Said Jim excited.

I turned to look at Derek and Allison and they smiled back. Summer had officially started, and even better thanks to Hip I got to spend those days with Derek and also got the chance to take Kyle off guard.

This trip was going to rock.

….

The ride was long and boring. Since half of the school was attending the event. There was a lot of traffic on the way. Especially because many people intended to stop every once in a while to take stupid selfies in the landscapes.

At midday, the air have went hotter and now the skyline stretched far below, at the point you couldn't see where it ended. Right there in the top of the mountain, as they road Jim saw it. It was the ocean. Bright blue because of the sun. It gleamed in the horizon in its vast immensity in a deep azure. Just like Jack's eye.

Jim shook his head to that thought. It was stupid to think about Jack in that way anymore. He was in the backseat of Jim's car all broody because…

No, he wasn't.

Jim just saw through the rearview mirror when he intended to take the curve at the left. Jack's face was out of the window as he looking at the ocean below them with a big smile.

"Do you see that?" He said cheerful. It was the first time Jack smiled in weeks, and it was good for a change. Jim was starting to miss the annoyingly dumb boy that marveled easily by almost everything. "It is almost as beautiful as you"

Jim's heart lurched and he gripped thigh the wheel to not lose the control of the car looking away to hide his blushing. He scoffed. "That's stupid I…." He stopped short and recalled the presence next to him.

Jack wasn't talking to him of course, but his future wife.

Something squirmed inside Jim and he took a deep breath. "That's stupid. I think Beverly is way more beautiful than a stupid giant pool"

"Thanks" Replied Beverly chuckling and wow that the first time Jim saw her smiling for real. "Do you see that Jack? That is a real compliment; people like him now very well how to flatter women"

"People like me?" Jim heard himself say.

_Fuck! I shouldn't have said that aloud._

"You know, people with manners" She replied quietly.

 _Manners? I just said you and stupid in the same sentence._ Something weird was going on.

Sunset Valley was a small town just three hours away from Oakwood. And even when wasn't big enough to be a city, it was packed with hotels, watering places, tons of clubs and three nudist beaches. It was a great choice for tourist that wanted to spend their summer's hangovers on their backs in the hot sand.

They were the first to arrive. A committee was waiting for them when the bus stopped and Jim turned off the engine of his car.

They were a large group of people with creepy smiley faces that offered them their services.

All the soccer clubs were staying in that same hotel. That was the reason Jim felt as if he was in one of Queen's concerts. He climbed down his car followed by Jack and Beverly while they made an effort to find the coach among the thong.

Some kind men took their suitcases and the rest of the guys joined them at the door while more and more bellboys helped the players from the other teams. There he saw his friend Aaron. He didn't see him since they were graduated from high school. Aaron looked fine and his girl was pretty hot too. He would have liked to go and say hi, but he had no time, the coach was already pushing them in.

Speaking of the coach. It is amazing how stress could age people in matter of days. It was crazy, but Jim couldn't help noticing how in matter of two weeks the man grew way older than he actually was. There were new gray strands of silver on his hair and in his funny mustache. There were deep hollows beneath his eyes, and even when his skin was deeply dark, yet somehow it looked dull and pale.

It was hard to see and even more to understand how a coach's work could be that hard, considering that they barely saw him the past weeks.

"Listen up everybody, because I'll said just once" The man started with tiredness in his voice as they stopped in the lobby of the hotel surrounded for many other groups.

"I don't want trouble, so you better stay out of them"

Jim and the rest of the team rolled their eyes.

"We got the seventh floor, so…"

"Great, that's good luck" Said Jim excited.

"Why? Because it looks like an upside down dick?"

Jim grunted, some of the guys cracked in the laughs, but that was all. No one said a thing.

"Pick up a partner, go change and meet me here in an hour, I found a place where we can practice. I want you all warmed up for tomorrow"

"What? Are you kidding? We haven't done anything but practicing the last five months" Kev complained, but once again the coach just ignored him.

"Here are the keys, pick up a partner and get ready"

"Who are you picking Taylor? Your former captain brought his girl and no one will want to share room with you. No offense" Paul mocked.

Jim was starting to lose his patience. He really wanted to kick Paul's ass the rest of the guys for making fun of him, but he didn't want to get in trouble. No one would step of for him and most of the team was with Paul.

"So?" Paul arched a brow.

"We are eleven. I think I'll have a whole room only for me" He unconsciously looked at Jack who avoided his eyes.

"You can't. We are twelve if you count the coach too" Paul cracked in laughs.

_So this was all about._

"You know what? I'm out of here"

Jim addressed the coach and without looking the man to the eyes he got a key from his eyes and strode off beckoning the bellboy with his suitcase to follow him.

On his way to the elevator he spotted Aidan coming walking straight to him.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"Where have you been?" Jim frowned.

"I had to take a piss"

"Hey!" Kristie's voice called from behind. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah Kristie, knock it off" Said Jim sharply. "I'll share room with Aidan"

"But I thought…"

"It's fine"

Jim got into the elevator followed by Aidan and bellboy who looked at them with some amusement.

"Did I miss something?"

"Yeah, Paul's hilarious sense of humor"

Aidan chuckled while the elevator stopped to a halt and they came out.

"Why don't you kick his ass?"

"As if it was that easy" Jim complained.

"You got to do something, or else he will make your life miserable the whole trip. I can help you" Offered.

Jim looked up and met his eyes with Aidan's and chuckled. That was a damn good offer.

"I'll keep it in mind"

"James wait" Said….Beverly? Jim and Aidan turned and found Beverly walking toward them accompanied by Jack.

Jim sighed. Right just what he needed, Jack and his Bev as his neighbors.

"What was all that? Are you okay?" She asked frowning as if trying to connect the dots" So… Jack didn't tell her Jim was gay? Wasn't she going to marry him in a couple of months? What the hell was going on with those two? They really met each other after all?

"Oh, nothing" Jim chuckled "Paul and I like to tease each other, to ease the tension in the group"

She smiled pleased. "I knew it was all a game, but I had to make sure you were right"

"Of course I'm fine" Jim laughed. "It was all a game"

"Great, oh look. It's seems that we are neighbors. Isn't that amazing?"

What the fuck? She barely talked and now she wouldn't shut up.

"That way we will always know what you guys are up to" She giggled.

Jack didn't say anything. He just squinted at Jim and Aidan.

"I… I have to take a bath and get ready for training" Said Jim pretending tiredness.

"Training? Really?" Aidan complained.

Jim nodded.

"Crap"

"I'll see you guys later" Jim turned on his heels, but before he noticed she was right behind him.

"Hey, I wanted to thank you for taking care of Jack these days and for driving us here" She smiled.

She smiled back confused and she wrapped her arms around his neck pressing her body tight to Jim's.

He hesitated before hugging her back and yet he managed to make it look convincing.

"Hahaha" She whispered in a low and almost inaudible voice at Jim's ear making him shiver.

She knew. She knew the truth, and also she just declared war.

"It was pleasure" Replied Jim with a silly smirk as they broke their embrace.

_Bitch._

...

Liam rented a house with five room for us, which was great because that way we could stick together, though I was a bit mad because Jim should have stayed in the house with us instead of that hotel with Jack. Never mind, we were just two streets away from him so we could go to see him whenever we wanted.

Derek and Allison got the main room, which was pretty unfair because Freddy brought his boyfriend Greg too and they had rights too. Cass and Tim got another room, you know how they were, it was like looking at Derek and me or Freddy and Liam, though…Now that those dumbasses got couples forgot about us, though I didn't think that would happen any time soon with Cass and Tim. Both of them seemed pretty pissed because of what happened with Craig the other night.

Hip offered to be my roommate while we stayed at Sunset Valley, but I said no. Share his room meant one thing. That I would have to stand to watch him have sex over and over right next to me while I was still virgin, also I still was a bit concerned about Liam, and since Freddy brought Greg, I knew he would feel a bit lonely. Just as I felt.

The house was big, with cream walls, high wooden ceilings and a lovely foyer that extended all around the house and ended right on top of the hot sand.

"Look at that. It's the beach betches" Said Liam happily when we sat in the steps of the entrance to take a look at the deep blue ocean and breathed in the salty air.

"It's beautiful" Said Allison unlacing her dress with her closed while the cloth felt down revealing her tight bikini. She looked sexy, more than usual since she got her extreme makeover. "Derek, let's go swimming"

Derek who was between Liam and me staring at the waves crashing on the shore grimaced through his glasses and shook his head. "The sun is too bright, we could get a sunstroke. Maybe in the afternoon when it goes down"

"Oh come on, Derek. Stop acting like a mother!" Allison rolled her eyes.

"I'm not acting like nothing! It is fact that if you…"

"I'm sorry, but she is right" Liam chuckled. "Don't worry about it, you can complain about the sunburn in the night. I'll get the rest of the betches we will go together"

"What do you say Stiles?" Allison arched a brow.

I sighed. Was she really putting me in the middle? Everyone knew I hated the sun and damn it looked like hell there. "I think I'll help Derek make lunch"

Hip scoffed suddenly at my back. "What are you going to do? Look at him doing all the work with high conviction?"

I rolled my eyes. "That's so funny, I think I peed myself"

"Yeah, I heard I have that effect on people"

Alright. That was enough.

"Look, go to the beach, have fun, but come back soon. Kristie just texted me and she says that the inaugural ceremony starts in three hours, and we got to be there to support Jim"

"Take it easy sweetie, we still got time" Liam affirmed.

"Kristie is here?" Allison asked casually though…I almost hurt my neck turning toward her and there was a bit of shock on her eyes.

"Yeah? What's the matter?" I asked arching a brow.

"Nothing…I just thought she was trying to find a job. I thought she would stay"

I shook my head. "Yeah, I thought that too, but she didn't want to leave Kyle alone. I guess she loves him that much"

"I bet she's just scared he might cheat on her" Hip chuckled.

"He wouldn't do that" I affirmed. I knew Kyle, he got pretty offended when I suggested he probably did it in the past.

"Oh come on Stiles" Hip smiled pleased as he looked at me. "Everyone cheats. I bet I can make him cheat her"

What? Was he insane?

"Are….Are you asking me permission to sleep with Kyle?" I said shocked.

"Why not? He isn't your boyfriend or something"

"It's not that" I laughed. "I just don't think he would accept to have sex with you"

Hip scoffed a bit hurt. "Stiles, no one has ever said no to me"

What an uptick bitch.

"There is a first time for everything" I reminded him. "I just don't want you to get in trouble"

"You're just jealous because I can sleep with your boyfriend anytime I want"

"He is not my boyfriend and no, you won't have sex with him so knock it off" I stood a angrily and got inside.

Who the hell he thought he was? Just because he had a lot of sex that didn't turn him into a walking pheromone. People have to face rejecting at least once in their lives, or always in their lives if you count how pathetic I was. It was frigging unfair, he was shallow and arrogant. I couldn't believe he really thought that Kyle would…

"Are you okay?" Derek's concerned voice said at my back when he got into the kitchen.

I sucked a breath and turned. "Yeah, I'm fine" I said as he approached the table to start cutting some tomatoes.

"Don't pay attention to him; he's just messing with you"

"He is just so bigheaded that he thinks anyone would have sex with him"

Derek continued slicing the rest of the vegetables in silence. I wanted to help him, it was part of my new resolution, but I bet I would have chopped my thumb off.

"I mean, not everyone would have sex with him. I certainly wouldn't"

"It is different. He is your friend, but I guess the rest doesn't see him that way" Derek pointed out taking an onion from the bowl in front of him. "Either way it is all about self-confidence. I bet that if you work on it, Kyle would…"

"What? No! I don't want to have sex with Kyle, I can't stand him"

Derek scoffed. "You're kidding right? Every time Kyle shows up, your eyes get bright and you forget about everything and ignore everyone else"

"That's not true! I…" I didn't want to fight. "He…I heard him talking the other day with Jack"

"Jack? Jimmy's boyfriend"

"He is not his…" God! "Never mind, they are pretending they are cool with us being gay, but kind of made a plan to play with our feelings to teach us a lesson"

"What? Ouch!"

The onion he was holding turned red within seconds.

"Are you okay?" I asked with concern as I hurried to approach him in the sink where he went to wash his thumb.

He took a deep breath and gritted his teeth. "I can't believe they are really doing that! Why are we here then? I should…"

"No Derek, please stay out this. I can handle Kyle"

"What that's supposes to mean? Are you going back to your project?"

I flinched as if he just threw a low blow to me. I knew that at some point he would find out the truth again, and yeah…Maybe it was best to tell him before it was too late as the last time.

I came out of the kitchen and went to my room's bathroom to snatch a bandage from the first-aid kit. When I came back hoped he would have forgotten what I said, but he wasn't stupid and still wore that scrutinizing look while I put the bandage in his thumb.

"Yeah and I know you don't understand but…"

Derek chugged. "Look Stiles, you are a grown up, and even though I think it's crazy…I don't know, those guys kind of deserve it. All of them"

My guts squirmed. I couldn't believe he said that.

"Just look what they did to you" He said with anger as he traced the line of upper eyelid with his thumb and I felt a tickling a bit of pain, but I felt fine, because now he supported me and that made me happy.

….

Paul was starting to become a pain in the ass. Jim got to endure the whole training sessions watching his stupid mocking grin and the comments he made making fun of him the whole day.

If that wasn't enough, he targeted Garret too as his victim. Since Garret had a slight autism and was a kind person, people like Paul and Kevin wouldn't let him go. He was a good player, actually if it wasn't by Jim and him, they wouldn't have gone to Sunset Valley in the first place. It made Jim sick the way they acted in front of him and he grew even angrier because the coach didn't seem to care.

And speaking of didn't seem to care…Jack was again omitting Paul's constant remarks of Jim's sexuality. He wouldn't laugh as the rest of the guys every time he made a stupid joke but neither stepped up to defend Jim, but let's face it, it was stupid from Jim to think that Jack would tell Paul to shut up when he left very clear that homosexuality was a horrible thing.

And now just add Beverly to the equating. That bitch new that Jim had feelings for Jack, or maybe she just guessed that something was going on there, she never declared her despise for him directly until that day, and it made Jim furious. She didn't care that Jim was the one who was there when Jack was falling apart, actually she didn't even bother to call Jack or go to Jim's to check him up after Emily's funeral. For her Jack was just a trophy, she didn't really care about him, she just wanted as something you bring school in the show and tell day. She just agreed to go to the trip with them to let Jim clear that he wouldn't ever have Jack for him, that she would always be with him, that she would marry him even when she didn't love him just make Jim feel like shit.

He hated her.

"Damn, I'm kind of sleepy man" Said Aidan when their bathroom's door swung open and a steamy cloud came out accompanied by…By a completely naked Aidan.

Jim rolled his eyes and tried to not pay attention to his warm olive skin dripping wet and how the drops streamed down his back following the line of his round and tight butt.

He took a towel and dried his hair before the mirror of the room while Jim finished putting on his shirt.

"Me too, but I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight" Admitted Jim shoving his hands in the suitcase to snatch his socks.

"What? Don't tell me you're scared of tomorrow" Aidan joked turning to the side, revealing the front part of his body to Jim.

Jim snorted. "You know? The towel should go over your cock not your head"

"What? Don't tell me I'm making you feel uncomfortable"

Despite me, Jim didn't have boner issues, but still he felt a bit uncomfortable with the whole situation.

"What do you mean? Don't tell me you're with Paul" Jim complained.

Aidan got a boxer from his bag put it on while Jim focused on putting on his socks feeling anger burning through him.

"Of course not, I just…I'm just used to come out of the bathroom that way, I'm sorry if…"

"Forget it" Replied Jim sucking a breath and putting on his shoes.

Aidan put on a shirt and lit a cigarette when Jim sat in the balcony to sit next to him.

Jim breathing in the cool air and watching the lights of the buildings.

The sun was down already.

Aidan handled him the cigarette. Jim took it in his hands and inhaled. He didn't remember the last time he smoked. But he felt a bit more relaxed now.

"How's Jack? Kyle told me about the girl" Asked Aidan standing up to spit over the people that walked below them.

"I don't know" Jim admitted, he didn't even know how he felt. "I guess he is doing better"

"So is it true?" Aidan frowned.

"What?"

"That he has been sleeping at your place the past weeks"

Jim rolled his eyes. "Yeah"

"Does that mean that I should be jealous?" Aidan teased.

Jim snorted. He didn't know why, but sometimes even when Aidan was an ass, he enjoyed spending time with him and talk freely. "Who told you?"

"Garret, his mom and Jack's mom are friends"

"Great, now it will be matter of time before Paul finds out"

"Take it easy" Aidan affirmed taking the cigarette from Jim's hands. "No one will know if you don't want to, but sooner or later Jack will have to come out"

"Jack's not gay"

Aidan chocked with the cigarette and let it fall.

They heard a woman shrieking below.

Aidan and Jim cracked in laughs and got in quickly.

"Why do you say Jack's not gay? Of course he is" Aidan affirmed putting on his short pants.

"He is not gay, he is just Christian and know how sensitive and selfless they are"

"So…Christians are just like gays?" Aidan chuckled. "That's kind of ironic"

Jim laughed too.

"What are you going to do about Paul?"

"Nothing" Said Jim shaking his head. "I don't to get in trouble, he is just an ass"

"Are you kidding? That's the reason why you must do something about it, come on! You can't seriously leave him mop the floor with you. Look at Kevin, he staring to make fun of you too"

"What can I do? Break his nose? The coach would kick me out of the team"

Aidan frowned. "I don't known, but we can't stay arms crossed"

Aidan had some right there. Sunset Valley was a very overwhelming situation for Jim; he had to deal with a lot of stuffs without saying or doing anything, about them or at least…That's what he thought at first, for some weird reason he forgot the little piece of shit he was deep inside. He played good and nice for too long with Jack, but it was over. Aidan was right, if Paul and Beverly wanted war, Jim would play kamikaze with them, he knew he couldn't have Jack, he knew that he had to commit to the project and forget about his feelings, so…Beverly would pay, something slight and almost unnoticeably, no one would know that he was attacking her, but she would…And that was enough for him. He was going to show her who the real bitch was, and Paul…It was just matter of time, soon he would find a way to make him regret the day he met Jim.

….

I felt like in the world cup. We got into a huge stadium packed with thousands of people. Actually it was a mess to even try to walk in that, but it totally worth it. Even when I don't like soccer and just went there for Jim, it was a thrilling experience. All those voices at unison chanting their university's team, was amazing. Oakwood's bleachers got many familiar faces and so many others I didn't see ever in my life.

Right when he found places for all the betches Derek, Allison and me, loud music filled the air and there was a massive and outstanding fireworks show that made the crowd roar even harder, it only made me feel even prodder of Jim for being there.

"Stiles!" There she was. I don't know how she found us in that sea of people, but Kristie managed to get right to us.

"Hey!" I said happily as she approached and kissed my cheek.

"Do you remember Derek?" I said pointing at him.

"The delivery boy! Is good to see you" She said kissing Derek's cheek to.

Allison shifted in her seat.

"Oh, hey Allison" Said Kristie with a bland smirk.

"Hey" Replied Allison listlessly.

Ok this was enough, something was definitely going on between them.

"Won't I have a kiss too?" Said hip's voice and my guts burned.

He came out of nowhere. Seriously, he was at the end right after Greg and he just showed up asking kisses to strangers.

Kristie sniggered and kissed his cheek.

"He is my friend Hip" I said with gritted teeth.

"Hip?" Kristie asked frowned. "Like too hipster?"

"More like the bottom part of the bottom, the one with the funny things"

Alright, that was enough.

"Kristie, meet my friends Tim, Cass, Freddy, Liam and Greg"

"Hey, is good to meet you all" She said excited as Tim moved to the side to let her seat next to me.

"How's everything? Did you find a job already?"

She shook her head. "No, but I think I'll replace Kyle while he visits his mom this summer"

Ouch, that didn't sound too funny but I wouldn't say that of course. "It sounds good"

"Yeah, you know. I still have to figure out what the hell I'm going to do with my life now"

"You could be a model" Derek said absently while he watched at the cheerleaders' below.

"Oh you think so? That's so sweet"

"Of course, you're hot" I agreed smiling.

It was then when the voice of a man echoed in the whole place drawing people's attention.

I looked below and found out that the cheerleaders have left the grass while a man stood in the middle of the field with a microphone in his hand.

Here is where everything went boring. His voice was so loud I couldn't talk to Kristie or Derek so I had no more option than listen to his speech about all the previous' year championships. It was boring as hell to not mention the poorly made movie with the _"best"_ sores from last year, a complete waste of time.

I looked around bored and started to notice the hot guys among us. God! That was good change; they were all so handsome, my cheeks burned with just the thought of talking to them. Like the one at the left two rows bellow. I could only see the back of his neck, but I could feel that he was hot, I think that's one my secret skills.

Anyway, when the man finally shut up and looked back the field to see what was up next and while my eyes swept the bleachers I noticed something with their corners.

He was wrapped up with some girl eating each other's mouths. How was that possible? We just got there! We didn't know someone at Sunset Valley, and yet…There he was scrubbing his super powers on our faces.

Could it be possible that if…? I mean, I knew Hip could do such things, I always saw him do that all the time at the club, but that was different, those were gay clubs and even when I hate saying it, most people goes there to get laid, so it was a big deal. Also, I know he slept with fifty horrible human beings in the past six months, but we were never with him, actually we barely saw him the first half of that year, he was always having sex.

Being in that situation, watching him like that…All gaudy it not only made me feel angry for the way he treated me earlier and jealous for being his exact opposite in sex matters, but also…It made me wonder, if…If Kyle met Hip formally and Hip tried to lure him in his net…Would he…Would he really sleep with him?

"And finally, competing in the championship for the first time. Oakwood's wolves"

That was what made me snap back into the real world. Everyone around me stood up cheering and applauding loudly.

 _For the first time?_ I thought amused. Oakwood had what? Fifty years old? First time, really? Man, they used to be a bunch of losers.

"You can do it Jimmy!" I shouted happily as below…Far below I saw a tiny outline of a scrawny blond boy that looked pretty much like Dane Dehaan and got the number seven in his back.

I couldn't see their faces from where I stood, but I guess they were pretty nervous, especially because of one guy in the team next to Jim's passed while a girl sang the national anthem and it was something very interesting to watch.

One hour later, it was all over and we climbed down the bleachers to meet with Jim and Kyle.

At first I guessed it was forbidden, but since everyone was doing it, I encouraged the betches to get into the grass too. I felt sorry for the poor bastard that would have to clean that mess before next day's game.

"That was beautiful" Liam said happily approaching Jim to give him a tight hug.

"Oh look. James brought his boyfriend" That guy Paul said suddenly when we joined them.

Damn it. Seriously?

"Why did you help us the other day if you will act just like the son of the bitches the raped my friend!" Liam roared furious when he let Jim go.

"Liam!" I hurried to shut him and take him out. "Are you insane?"

"Why? For saying the truth? I thought you wanted to fight sweetie"

He was trying to be as polite and sweet as he used to be, but he was doing a pretty bad job. He was furious and his cheeks went red quickly. I can't blame him, I mean….I couldn't believe that Paul guy said that, who in the hell he thought he was? And as Liam said before, why they saved us the other night if they would make fun of us and Jim all… Wait a second…We didn't see Paul since the night of the attack at the club, but Jim…Jim had to deal with him all that time and if he left him say that now, it mean that he had been enduring it the past weeks.

That sucked.

"Look" I said putting my hands on Liam's shoulders to ease his stirring. "I know you're angry and hurt, I am too, but we must be smart, we're going to take them down, but not in here and not like this. We must be patience"

Liam stared at me quietly and bit a bit his face softened until he smiled with his gleaming lips.

"Now go and enjoy! We came to have fun and won't let anyone ruin it"

Liam nodded and went back to see Jim who now was talking to Cass and Tim.

"Wow! Every day you sound more like me" Derek's voice said at my back and I chuckled.

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" I said pretending a grimace.

"Ouch, that hurt much that losing a finger this afternoon to make you lunch"

"I was kidding dumbass"

"I know" He chuckled. "It is just that I'm very proud of you"

Aw, that was so sweet. Actually I had to turn to not let him see me blushing.

"Anyway, have you seen Allison? I don't know where she went"

I nodded as I swung my arm to point at... "She was….Right there two minutes ago"

"Where could she have…?"

"Stiles! Charles!" Said a familiar voice.

I turned and found a tall and lanky guy, that had a hooked nose, big brown eyes and freckled cheeks. His name was Alan, and we met him in our first year at school when we used to spent a lot of time at the library doing research about Greek mythology for one our first movies at school.

"Is great to see you guys!" He said happily patting our backs.

I smiled at him. "How are you? It's been ages, I never saw you again"

"I had lot to do the past year, but I heard all the good things about you"

"Good things?" I arched a brow. Was he kidding? If he read this diary " _good things"_ wouldn't be the right term to use.

"Yeah, your movies. Even in economy people are talking about them"

"Seriously?" I said blushing. "That's great, and what are you doing here? I didn't know you liked soccer"

"Are you kidding? Don't you remember that time he went over and we watched a whole…"

"He was asleep Charles, don't you remember?"

We cracked in laughs. It was nice to see Alan I thought he withdraw or graduated without saying… I saw Jim looking at me from far and blushed. Oh crap! I forgot to go there and say hi.

"I'll be back, don't go away Alan"

"Hey betch, what's going on?" I said when addressed Jim.

"Who's that guy? Is kind of cute'" Jim laughed. "Just a friend of Derek and me, so…How was the opening? Did you pee in your pants or I just imagined it?"

"It was cool, it's great when you realize that millions of people came from all places just to see you"

What an ass.

I chuckled.

"Hey Jimmy, let's take a picture!' Tim said at my back and draw his camera for Cass and me pose next to Jim.

"Don't call me Jimmy, Timmy" Said Jim furiously and Cass and I chuckled.

"Don't… You don't like to be called Jimmy?" And there he was, I almost forgot I was mad because of what he did that morning to me, but as soon as I saw Jackson's Woods face my expression changed.

"I… No…I mean, it's not a big deal, but Timmy does it just to piss me off because he doesn't know I don't like and he…"

"So…You don't like it" Said Jack shocked.

"I… It's not that…"

Oh busted! And not just for Jack, but for us…We were watching a side of Jim we never saw before. Uneasy Jim, can you believe it?

"It doesn't matter, I just came to tell you that the coach wants us back in the hotel in thirty minutes"

"Yes, Jimmy. You need for your big game tomorrow" Said the voice of a girl. The same girl I saw that morning in the passenger's seat of Jim's car. Jack's girl.

Jim wiped the hesitation from his face in a blink and now I saw bitterness on it. "Actually, you guys go. I' gonna party tonight with my friends"

"No, you can't do that. We have a very important day ahead tomorrow and… "

"Hey Aidan!" Jim called aloud at his back.

The hot guy showed up and nodded to Tim, Cass and me.

"Wanna get party tonight at my friend's place?"

"Seriously? Finally someone said it, I thought we would have to go to be at seven like kids"

"What about the coach?" Asked Jack angrily.

"He won't notice" Jim affirmed. "Aidan, invite everyone I'll talk to my friends and see what I can buy meanwhile"

"Are you seriously going to throw a party?" Jack asked moody.

"Yeah, I'm sorry you can't come, but I'll understand"

"Why we can't come?" Said Jack hurt.

"Oh" Said Jim obviously faking to be taken aback. "I just assumed that you wouldn't, since you know… I can't force people to not smoke or drink and I know how much the cigarette's smoke displeases Beverly and I don't want her to feel uncomfortable"

I saw her eyes glare at Jim and I frowned. What the hell was going on there?

Jack stepped back.

"Who's planning a party?" Asked Kyle's voice suddenly and I spun finding him right in front of me.

"Hey! I said happily"

"It's Jimmy!" Said Jack's girlfriend. "He is throwing a party, and I guess that since you are the captain is your duty to an end to his nonsense"

"James!" Kyle said angrily. "As captain, I'm very disappointed of you. I can't believe that we came to the a the greatest beach in the country, with all our friends and I'm the last to know"

Jim chuckled. "I just got the idea"

"Great, it will be at Stiles' place right?"

Jim nodded.

"Sorry, I'm overwhelmed. Hi" Kyle finally replied patted my back.

"Well, I think we could go for an hour or two" Jack proposed. "It is pretty early after all"

"Jack" Said his girlfriend furiously.

"Yeah Jack! Don't be so careless! I told you my friend Stiles smokes like a whore! It will displease your fiancé"

 _Fiancé? Displease? Whore?_ What the hell was going there? I better left before I asked a stupid question and ruined whatever Jim was up to.

"Yes Jack, let's go to the hotel. When the coach finds out that they are…"

"You won't believe it!" Aidan said coming out of nowhere.

"Garret put a sleeping pill in the coach's coffee like an hour ago because he was planning on going to a club all by himself!"

"What?" Said Jim and Jack furious.

"Where is he? Is he gone?" Fear leaped through Jim's eyes and he hurried to get lost into the thong.

"Hey, have you seen Kristie?" Asked Kyle frowning as he looked around.

"Shouldn't you be after the drug dealer instead of looking for your girlfriend Mr. Captain?" I chortled.

"No, Garret only listens to Jack and James, when they catch him he will be in trouble, but he will be fine" He affirmed. "I'm going to find Kristie, I'll see you guys later at your place. Send me address in a text okay?" said before vanishing.

I nodded and started walking toward the betches again when I felt a tug from the sleeve of my shirt.

"Hey Stiles"

 _Crap! now what?_ I thought as I spun to meet Jack.

"Hey Jack" I said a bit confused. What the hell did that asshole want? Did he really think I bought his nice boy game? I knew better now and I wasn't in the mood for his shit.

"Let me clear this for you, I don't like you at all"

I snorted. "Great, because you know what? You aren't my type either"

His face reddened. "I didn't mean that! I mean that you're not a good person and I want you out of James's life"

"Oh…My…Oh my god! Is this for real?" Oh my god it was fucking funny! What the hell was his problem?

"I don't understand why you're laughing. James is a good person, he is not like you and your friends. He is just confused and with the lord's…"

"He is not what? Gay?" I snorted. This was so stupid, I couldn't believe he was seriously saying all that crap.

"Homosexual"

"What? Jimmy is not gay?" I said shocked. "I can't believe it! I think I'm gonna call the three billion guys he has fucked with and tell them that it never happened, because he is not gay"

Jack's face paled.

"Oh! Didn't you know?" I laughed. "' _Jimmy'_ has a reputation. Actually he is the whore of our gang"

"Don't say that! It is all your fault! You made him that way, but he will change and then…"

"Change? That's a funny thing, because I must confess something Jackson. I wasn't gay, I was like you before! I was a good Christian boy with my gorgeous girlfriend and then I met him and he made me a homosexual like you say"

"Did you…Did you have sex with him?" His eyes almost popped out of their sockets. "He told me you weren't his lover!"

"No!" I laughed. "We're best friends, we would never sleep together"

"You're not his best friend" He said in a warning.

"Never mind, as I said I wasn't gay, I was good. But then Jimmy came out of nowhere one day, and he hugged me"

"Hugged you?"

I sneered. "That's right, he hugged me, and something woke up inside of me. Something big, thick and sweaty, right between my legs"

"Do you really think I'm that naïve to believe your story?"

"Look man, I don't care. Okay? Believe what you want, I mean…I don't blame him, I'm happy being gay, actually I thank him. Straight life is so boring, but if you don't want to be gay then it's fine for me. Just stay out of his smoke's way. When he blows it at your face, it means he is your target. Remember to always look at him in the eye, that way you will know when he tries to hug you, and of course… Don't forget to avoid his embraces, that's the way he turns you gay"

Jack steeped back looking at me as if I was insane, and yeah I kind of was, but I loved to freak him out. "That's right Jacky, hugging makes people gay"

I broke the tension and my weird talking way with a loud laugh and patted him in the arm. "I'm kidding man, James is cool. You don't need to worry. I bet you'll be able to convert him. I wish you the best of lucks"

And said so I left with the biggest smile on my lips. That was so frigging funny! His face…Oh god his face!

I was going to meet the betches right there to tell them what I just said when I said Kyle not too far looking around among the thong, and then… And then it came to me. Derek! Derek asked me, and then Kyle did too!

Derek was looking for Allison and Kyle…for Kristie.

They both were missing.

It couldn't be a coincidence.

I had to find them.

I looked around hoping I could see their heels running away to a certain direction, but there was so much people. I couldn't make out anything.

I spotted Hip, snuggling with another girl. Another girl? Seriously? Crap! Something shuddered inside me. Something raw and bitter, I was shocked and furious. Why? Why he could do such things? Could he? Could he really take anyone he wanted? I was so…He was looking at me. AWKWARD! Yeah, but apart from awkward, he was… He was making fun of me, of course he wouldn't speak with his eyes, but he was telling me through them, that he could…That he could take Kyle whenever he wanted. That he could make Kyle kneel before him.

I lost my head and went straight to him.

"Excuse me" I said touching the girl's shoulder.

They broke apart and looked at me confused.

"What…?" Hip was saying when I took him by the arm and dragged him several feet away.

"Fine! Do it!" I said with some anger in my voice.

"Do what?" He sneered.

"Fuck him"

He snorted.

"But I want a damn good movie, with good light, pretty long and I want him purring like a cat"

"No problem" He said haughtily and turned on his heels to get back to his girl.

It was done.

I can't explain why, but it felt as if soon…I was going to regret my decision.

 


	3. THE SUCKER PLAYER

## THE SUCKER PLAYER

 

It was as if a lightning struck me.

He came to my mind and fear crept inside me. I know this is stupid, but the first thing I thought was Isaac. It have been almost a month since I saw him there in the party.

Did he still think about me? How was he? How did he manage to study now that I was gone? Those were bitter thoughts that made me feel uneasy because…Because I feared that maybe Hip could you know. Sleep with him the same way he could do it with Kyle.

It was so wrong. I couldn’t feel that jealous of Hip, but I was. I hated how things could be so easy for him. How he could get anyone he wanted without even trying. Why I couldn’t be more like him? Was it that hard? Why everyone wanted him? He was cocky and not good looking. There wasn’t anything that special in him. Cass was thousands of times handsomer than him and yet he what? Got laid just one or two times in a month, while Hip…Was the king of the fuckfests.

One thing was to send him away and wait for his porn videos to amuse us, but…Something quite different was to ask him to get in my business. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. I shouldn’t be mad because it was for the project’s sake that Hip slept with Kyle, but I just…I just couldn’t okay? All that situation took me by surprise. I didn’t know what the hell I was thinking when I told him to have sex with Kyle, but I definitely wasn’t thinking.

Isaac. Kyle. Isaac was Isaac and Kyle was Kyle, and…Fuck! Ok? It is hard to admit this but…I…I still might have some feelings for both of them, and it was kind of complicated. I felt sad because of Isaac, because if Hip wanted he could look for him and fuck him and that killed me because that was a part of Isaac he wouldn’t ever share with me even when he used to say that I was the only person he truly loved, and then was Kyle which even more twisted. Kyle himself said that would play with me to teach me a lesson. I mean, what the fuck? How could I still feel hurt or betrayed for Kyle having sex with one of my friends?

I should have been lightning fireworks not trying to pretend that everything was alright while I whined in the inside. Something was seriously wrong with me. I felt cheated and that sucked.

Thank god Allison and Kristie helped me shook those thoughts out of my mind. Yeah, while I walked away of the playfield I recalled. They both were missing, and that was enough for me to shake those assholes out of my mind for a while to focus on what really mattered here.

I needed to find them.

My first thought was that they went to Kristie and Kyle’s room in the hotel, which would be a complication for me, because I didn’t know which room was that, neither had a key to get inside and find them.

Speaking of finding them. I had mixed feelings about it. I didn’t know what to expect or how I would react if I was right and they liked each other after all.

It was something hard to deal with. If Allison and Kristie were gay after all, meant that I could use that to split Kristie and Kyle once and for all which would be good for me, but…

Derek.

I couldn’t just give them off, and let’s face it, I couldn’t just drop that bomb and hope that everything stays calm. Kyle would freak out and everyone would find out about the whole situation, which would suck for Derek, and also for Allison and Kristie too.

I didn’t want to hurt Allison. Even when I still felt a bit mad at her for all that, I loved her. The idea of running her life that way would be too much to bear, though of course I would need to talk to her. Ask her what the hell was going on and guide her through the hard process to tell Derek the truth and see how my best’s friend heart got broken.

Whatever path I might take, it seemed like…Like everyone would end up pretty much damaged except for me, and that was hard. Take that big decision for own my benefit or stay silent and let everyone to continue living their lies.

Though…Of course I still had to find out if there was a lie to find after all.

I decided to get back to the beach house. It was my only option at that point and I hoped they were there. I needed to find the truth, later I would decide what I was going to do with it.

Derek wouldn’t stop calling me which made me regret every step I took in that dry and salty night.

There is something odd about summer. I think I’m not the only one, but…Have you ever felt as if, when you are in those weeks off from school or work or whatever, everything is different? Life has a different color, you dress differently and even you feel as if you are another person.

That’s the way I felt. I wasn’t just Stiles, but a new kind. Actually…On my way there I couldn’t help noticing some girls looking at me as I passed by the stores on my way to the beach house.

It was something a bit overwhelming and pleasing at the same time. Could…Could that be the way Hip felt every day of his life?

I shook my head.

I wasn’t going to think about him. Neither on Kyle. If…If I was lucky maybe he would reject Hip, his ego would drop down and I wouldn’t have to go after him and tell him that I was wrong and I really didn’t want him to do anything with Kyle, but I couldn’t just let him know that I feared him, or else he would mock of me till the end of days I wouldn’t be able to look at him in the face again.

The lights were off, but they were inside. I could listen a muffled chat not too far.

I got inside stealthy, following the nonsense of their voices. Was it me…Or I was really hearing hitched breathing? I…Was one of them crying?

Stealthy passed by the rooms following the muttering. The kitchen’s door was wide open but there no sign of them there.

I kept walking slowly as their voices grew louder and louder and now I could see their shadows refracted in the long balcony that surrounded the house.

I felt the cold and sandy wind coming right to me and found them sitting back to me on the steps that took to the beach.

“I don’t know….It is kind of sick of” Kristie’s voice was saying.

I hid in the side of the doorway that took inside just in case they decided to stand and find me spying on them.

“What don’t you just tell him?” Allison asked a bit concerned.

What the fuck? They were…They were having a normal chat. Earlier that day they couldn’t even look at each other and now…I couldn’t feel the tension between them.

“What am I going to say? Hey cuz your mommy is a motherfucker and I hate her and you should hate her too”

The both cracked in loud laughs for a while.

Then Allison said something else, but I couldn’t get anything of it because of a wave that crashed loudly.

I leaned out a bit and stretched my hear.

“That’s I told him, but he won’t listen any of it” Kristie admits.

“I don’t know. Well. I barely know him, but he seems fond to her” Allison admits.

“Are you kidding? Of course he doesn’t….” Another wave.

Damn it! I leaned at bit more holding myself to the doorway. If they…If they looked back they would found me and it would be so embarrassing.

Why they felt so comfortable with each other so suddenly? It didn’t make sense, unless…Unless they sorted things out already and I lost my chance.

 _It wouldn’t’ be the first time something goes wrong._ I think moodily.

“So are you going to talk to Jimmy?” Allison asks and then she raises her hand and strokes Kristie’s hair.

Kristie leans her head on Allison’s shoulder. And my heart skips a beat. For…For half a second I…Recalled what it felt like. When Derek and I were teens and I leaned my head on his shoulder, or later with Isaac and…

“I talked to pretty face, but he won’t listen to me” Kristie complains. “I really hate that bitch”

Allison chuckles. “But are you sure about it?”

“Of course I am A. I’ve always known”

“But…Have you…Have you see him before you know…”

“No! But it is something you just known, right?”

What they were talking about? They mentioned Jim and of course Jack was implied in the conversation, but I couldn’t understand anything else.

“Maybe when your dad comes back you can talk to him and he’ll help you with your aunt”

“Are you kidding? My dad…Doesn’t like you know gay boys much. Actually I had a lot of trouble when I introduced him Kyle and first because…”

“What? Kyle is gay?!” Allison asked shocked and I lost my balance and.

“Ouch!” I moaned when my head hit the ground and they turned.

…….

His lungs burned, yet…He kept running. He couldn’t find Jack at his back which was odd because he was pretty sure he went after him.

Garret wasn’t in the playing field, actually he couldn’t recall seeing him among then in the ceremony.

_What the hell is wrong with you Gar?_

The hotel is a mess. A kind of attractive to look mess, but a mess all the same.

He passes by hundreds of hosts as they chat loudly and others give commands to the bellboys in the lobby.

From a window he can see some guys messing around in the pools. Their coach wouldn’t allow them to swim that late night afraid they might get a flu. He was as overprotective as a mother and that was annoying some times.

_Is that the reason you did it?_

He had to find him before it was too late, with some luck the coach wouldn’t have taken his coffee. It was something innocent and pretty dangerous at the same time. They were the first tomorrow morning and even when the coach would have thanked a full-sleep night, Jim couldn’t afford to get Garret in trouble. If the coach found out about it he might…

There he was. Jim almost missed him.

Garret was short and a bit chubby but not so much. His skin was light brown and his hair black as coal. He was wearing a tuxedo too big for him and Jim would have thought it was someone else if it wasn’t because that suit was his.

_He robbed me. Great._

“Hey!” He called aloud while Garret tried to jump the wall to get out of the hotel.

“Garret!” Jim called out again.

Garret jolted suddenly and craned his neck with terror as he saw Jim approaching. He hurried to climb, but it wouldn’t work. The hem of Jim’s shirt was too large and made impossible for the boy to get his legs on the wall.

“Garret! Stop right there!” Jim orders furiously.

He looks back and finds Jack several feet away dashing toward him.

When Garret spots him resumes his pointless climbing until he achieved two feet up and Jim’s heart leapt with dread, but the boy’s grip loosened and he fell on his back splashing mud all around him.

_Great. My favorite suit._

Jim grabs garret by the collar and hauls him up. “Are you alright?” He asked glaring at him.

Garret didn’t respond and tried to break free from his grasp.

“Garret! What did you do?” Jack’s voice said at Jim’s back when he joined them.

“I…” Jim knew how much Garret respected Jack, since he was the former captain and also a big brother to him. If someone would make him talk, it was him.

“What did you put in the coach’s coffee?” Jack asked moody and yet a bit comprehensive.

“A pill” Garret said with some embarrassment as he shrugged and looked away.

“One kind of pill?” Fear crept to his voice.

“One my dad takes before going to sleep”

Jim sighs. _Fuck!_ He thought. As far as he knew Garret’s father could be taking some medicine for his heart or something worse.

“Stay with him” Jim says Jack. “Call his parents and ask them about the pill, I’ll find the coach just in case he…

He didn’t want to even consider it, but it was true. The coach needed to be taken to the hospital just in case Garret gave him something dangerous without knowing.

 _He is twenty two years old._ Jim told himself and yet he couldn’t stay quiet.

This wasn’t right.

He went to the elevator at once being crushed by the thong that huddled inside as lady chatted with other one and kept moving her purse from right to left stroking Jim’s nose every time. He needed to yell at someone, but she was too old.

 _You’re growing soft betch._ He thought angrily as he waited for the elevator to reach the seventh floor.

Once the door swum open he dashed out stumbling with some people who were trying to get inside and almost fell.

The coach’s room was the first in the row. They had a long hallway from which you could see part of the hotel and the city, and also below…A Christian boy chastising another in a ruined designer’s suit.

He knocked the door once as he tried to stay calmed but no one would answer.

 _Shit! Please let it be just sleeping pills._ Jim thought with desperation. For a second our silly summer vacations became Grand hotel Budapest.

He knocked again and again and again until the man’s voice roared from inside. “I’m busy get out!”

“Coach?” Jim said concerned. “Are you…Are you alright?”

It took a moment for the man to reply.

“No Taylor, I’m not fine. There as an annoying kid outside my door”

“Can…I…Come in?”

Two minutes passed and then the door went ajar.

Jim slid it open slightly to find the coach’s back hurrying to get back inside and grab something from the bed to stare at it. “What do you want? I’m planning tomorrow’s lining I have not time for whatever you want”

 _Idiot. I came to make sure you weren’t long cold. You should saw more respect._ “I…I wanted to suggest some ideas for tomorrow game and…Are you feeling alright?”

“What are you saying kid?” The man grunted.

Jim approached slowly and tried to look at him from the right but the man moved to the left and again all what Jim could see was his back.

Something clicked inside Jim’s head and he slowly came to the left and the man moved to the right.

“Say what you came to say or leave. I’m busy”

“I…I just wanted to say that. Garret! Sir! Garret wants to move to my room, he is a bit anxious I wanted to know if you didn’t…”

“Yeah, takes his stuffs. He wouldn’t let me sleep with his snoring anyway”

Jim held a chortle and hurried to take the suitcase of the other bed.

He put on Garret’s socks and a pair of shoes he left on the floor. He packed everything and went out without saying anything else.

He got Garret’s stuffs to his room and then prepared to get back down when he found him coming over accompanied by Jack. As soon as Jack and he met their eyes Jim cracked in laughs.

“What is going on with you?” Said Jack angrily.

“He…Gave him…Viagra” Jim said between laughs.

“What?” Jack’s face reddened. “Are you crazy Garret? You said you gave him sleeping pills”

“I thought…”

“Those things are dangerous” Jack grunted. “He might…”

“Relax” Jim made him sings to let him go and closed the doors behind them. “He will be busy tonight but that’s all”

“Is not funny _Jimmy”_ Said Jack with despise.

_Jimmy, uh?_

“He could…”

“He didn’t” Jim cut him short.

“Garret come here” Said Jim taking Garret by the arm and dragging him to the balcony while Jack sat on Aidan’s bed with balled fists.

The cold and salty air met them out there and Jim shivered. Looked down and Garret shrugged again.

Jim sighed. “What were you planning to do?”

Garret remained silent as a stubborn kid.

“Garret you’re not a kid. You’re twenty two years old. You need to take responsibility for your acts. You better tell me or I’ll tell the coach what you and…”

“You didn’t tell?” Said Garret taken aback as he looked at Jim ashamed.

“No. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t kill him. That’s all” Jim chuckled. “But this is something serious Garret. You can just drug people around. You can get in trouble” He said with a more comprehensive voice.

Garret chugged. “I just wanted to meet the girls”

“What girls?” Jim frowned.

Garret blinked twice and sighed. “I’m…I’m virgin James” He flushed and tried to look away but Jim caught him by the chin.

“What’s the matter?” He asked sternly.

“I’m…”

“You’re what Garret?” He was starting to lose his patience.

“You don’t understand Paul said…”

 _Paul._ He should have known. Jim rose his hand to cut him.

“Look Garret. You shouldn’t be listening to Paul. He is about to get kicked out of school for his grades”

“Yeah but…”

“And you? Are you kidding Garret? You’re the smartest of your class. Are you seriously telling me that the smartest guy will listen to the dumbest?”

Garret balled his hands and sighed. “Then what am I still a virgin?”

Poor guy. Why Jim couldn’t understand him? I definitely do.

“Garret you’re a virgin because you’re a nice person” Said Jim angrier than ever. “You’re not going to sleep with anyone! You’re a great person! You’re smart and funny and a good soccer player. You don’t need to sleep with a prostitute to prove you’re a man as he probably did. You will grow up, find love get marry and then you will have your first time and it will be wonderful and something you will remember for the rest of your life with a smile on your face”

Garret hesitated.

“Look at your purity ring” Said Jim taking his hand to put his finger right before Garret’s face. “You know what this means? It means that you have commitment, it means that you love god and yourself over everything else and that you are brave, because you know people will be rude at you and call you names. But it doesn’t matter because deep inside you know you’re better than them”

Garret stared at him without saying anything at all.

“Say it” Jim orders.

“I’m better than them”

Jim smiled.

“But Paul said that I was gay because…”

Jim rolled his eyes. _Gosh!_ “Are you gay Garret?”

Garret shook his head.

“Then what? Just because Paul says it, it doesn’t mean it is true. It just means that he is obsessed with gays. Don’t let him bother you. You’re better than him”

Garret breathed out and smiled.

It was hard to look at Garret and don’t think he was too innocent for this world. Jim knew what Garret was thinking, he thought he could mess with Garret because he had a slight autism and it made him fragile. But Jim knew better, looking at Garret at that moment made him think of someone else, a Christian boy who used to be that innocent and naïve sometimes.

It was amazing how much Jack changed in matter of six months.

_Let Paul think he can do whatever he wants. I’ll make sure he regrets messing with us._

“Come here” Said Jim taking Garret in his arms and the guy shuddered in them.

“James…Is true you are gay?” Garret asked when Jim let him go.

Jim chuckled and nodded.

“My parents are wrong then. Gays aren’t that bad”

“Thad bad?” Jim chuckled.

“Yeah” Said Garret wryly pointing at Jim’s fingers as he draws a cigarette from his pocket.

“Yeah, I need to work on that”

“I need to take a shower. I look so stupid”

“Hey! That suit was very costly”

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to…”

“Look” Said Jim to finish. “You have been living a bubble your whole life, and you just can’t expect things to change all suddenly. We can hang out one day, just the two of us, meet some girls, and flirt with them. Later we can get you a suit of your size and make things different, but you can’t rush things Garret, let everything flow. Okay?”

Garret nodded.

“Great, now go and bath I think you crushed a toad when you fell” He finished with a smirk.

Garret got inside and Jim chugged as he put the cigarette in his lips and inhaled.

The door slid open again and Jack came out.

“I’m impressed” Said Jack casually.

“You shouldn’t. Paul had been messing up with him too long. It was just matter of time”

“I mean. How you dealt with it” Jack pointed out. “I thought you would tell him to answer to Paul’s teasing with heavier teasing”

 _No. I have that saved for your sweet bride._ “It’s clear that you don’t know me”

“You’re right. I still don’t know you” Jack remarked that last part very oddly.

Jim arched a brow and Jack snatched the cigarette from his hands.

“What that supposes to mean?”

“I’m talking about the party” Jack explained looking at the cigarette wilt in his hands.

“I’m sorry about that, but I didn’t want to displease Bev”

“I’m talking about you being two different persons. You’re someone else when you’re with Stiles”

“I’m not…”

“Please _Jimmy._ It is clear that you and your friends have a very crazy” Jack brought the cigarette to his lips.

“What are you doing? You don’t know how to smoke”

Jack chocked and let it fall.

“See? I told you so!” Jim grunted. “What the hell was all that?”

“I wanted to show you that I can party hard too” Said Jack as his cheeks reddened Jim wasn’t sure if because of the anger or the embarrassment.

Jim snorted. “Jack I thought you left all that bad boy shit well behind”

“I did. But you didn’t. Stiles told me how fond you are”

 _What the hell you did betch?_ “So what? You saw it the other night. They are my friends, get over it”

“I would if it wasn’t because they are a bad influence for you. Especially that Stiles”

“Stiles? Please Stiles is boring that his mom had to…”

“He’s a bad person. I don’t want you near him anymore” Jack grunted.

 _What the fuck?_ Thought Jim.

And in case you didn’t understand I’ll it myself. What the fuck?

“He is my friend, you can’t tell me who I can hang out with”

Jack stepped back a bit hurt and walked in.

Jim came after him as listened to the shower’s rain in the bathroom near Aidan’s bed.

“He is not your friend he is just trying to turn you into…”

“If he is trying anything that is none of your business. I don’t tell who you can hang out with or not. Okay?” Jim grumbled as he approached the door and opened. “I think I heard _Bev_ calling after you”

Jack blinked and stood there for a minute in silence. When he noticed that Jim didn’t say anything else he just got out and Jim closed the door.

…….

“Stiles!” They both rose at once and I winced rubbing my right ear as I rose.

“What were you doing there?” Kristie asked frowning.

“I…I was just looking for you. Both of your boyfriends are looking for you girls” I said casually.

Kristie snapped. “Really? I though Kyle would stay a bit longer in the stadium”

I shook my head. “Apparently there is going to be a party here and…”

“A party? How cool!” Said Allison excited.

“Kyle knows about this?” Kristie looked a bit concerned about it.

It seemed like she recalled how ended up the last party we hosted.

I nodded. “Totally, actually it was pretty much his idea as it was Jim’s”

“Good” Kristie let out a weak smile.

I blinked.

They talked

They talked! Wow it was…Okay I got some things clear at this point. They were not lesbians, or else I would have found them kissing instead of playing to the besties since they thought they were alone.

What did they say to each other? It was confusing you know? I mean, they barely looked at each other before in the playing field and don’t forget that they didn’t call or tried to talk to each other for almost two weeks after Kristie failed to clear things up at the restaurant.

It seemed like everything was fine between them, and even when it kind of sucked for my plans, at the end it made me feel happy for both of them. They were good friends and whatever happened between them in the past was just a misunderstanding.

I could find another way to mess Kyle’s life, like…Hip. For hard that it was to think about it, he was my best option even when I didn’t want to even think about it though…Kristie…What the hell was Kristie saying before I fell?

She thought Kyle was gay.

SHE THOUGHT KYLE WAS GAY.

It was like a boom. Something shuddered inside me. I wanted to laugh and jump, but at the same time my guts squirmed. She was his girlfriend, she knew him for how long? I’m not sure, I never asked them, but…I changed everything, if she had doubts…I…

“Stiles?” Kristie said with concerned and I snapped.

When in the hell I got inside the cabin? When did they turn on the lights?

“Sorry, what?” I said a bit embarrassed.

“I was asking you if you were sure the party was here and not at the hotel”

Allison chuckled. “Yeah…I don’t think they would allow a party at the hotel in the opening night”

“Why isn’t anyone coming over then?” Kristie pursed her lips.

The front door swum open and Derek got inside accompanied by Jim.

“Hey, I almost thought you got lost” Allison sniggered running toward Derek to curl her fingers around his.

“Have you seen Kyle Pretty face?” Kristie said a bit blunt. “Stiles told me about the party and…”

“He is looking for you at the hotel” Jim pointed out. “Forget about the party, there almost was an emergency and less thing I want know is trouble”

Kristie frowned. “Is everyone okay?”

Jim nodded. “I just came to have some sleep. Must wake up by five and gave my room to Garret so he doesn’t have to share it with the coach”

“Oh! Okay…I’ll see you guys in the morning then” Said Kristie flatly, came to kiss my cheek and got out.

“I’ll work on dinner then” Offered Derek.

“I’ll help you” Hurried Allison to offer and they went inside.

This bring us to another issue. We were full at the beach house and I almost forgot about that, but as soon as the betches came in –Hip accompanied by a big hairy man- I realized that we would have a very uncomfortable night.

I went to bed early, because I really wanted to have some sleep and meditate a bit about the things I lived earlier that day, so I didn’t wait for dinner and got below the mattress right after taking a cold shower.

As soon as I got into the bed Jim and Liam jumped in too.

“Why are you sleeping over?” Liam asked chuckling. “Don’t tell me your boyfriend kick you out of your room Jimmy, what did you do?”

“He is not my boyfriend betch and no. He is sharing room with his fiancé”

“Are they really getting married?” I asked confused in the middle of them as I started the wooden ceiling.

“Yeah, some Christian voodoo thing” Jim snapped bored. “Apparently you got to get married while you still are young”

That almost made me crack in laughs after I recalled all the shit I said to Jack in the playing field.

“What happened to the drug dealer?”

“I left him in my room. I don’t trust him to be left alone with the coach again”

“Why he did try to drug the coach”

“Who tried to drug who?” Liam asked confused as he checked his eyebrows in the hand-mirror.

“Garret, one of the guys in the team. Paul was bullying him because of being…”

“Oh! We wanted to tell you something about this Paul” Liam closed his mirror and started at Jim sternly. “We need to do something about him”

“You stay out that Liam” I warned him.

“What? No! We can’t stay arms crossed”

“We talked about this before Liam, we need to be smart”

“Exactly” Liam’s eyes sparkled with mischievousness.

“What do you got in mind?” I said a bit more interested now.

“Maybe…We could put something in his drink and then put one of my gowns on him”

I was about to crack in laughs but then I stopped short. “You brought dresses here?”

“Yeah, so what?” Liam said confused.

“Liam! Are you crazy? Do you really want to do drag after what happened?” I asked furious.

 _Shit! I shouldn’t have said that._ “I’m…I’m so…”

“Too late, you already said it”

“He is kind of right betch. We must be smart, nothing happened the last time, but it doesn’t mean…”

“I know what you both think. I’m scared too” Liam admitted. “I mean, I…I don’t even know how I recovered so fast after what happened, I guess I’m strong, or maybe I just pretend to be and deep inside I’m still crying, I might be scared or lots of things and those motherfuckers, but I won’t be afraid of myself”

Jim and I looked at him impressed. That was a damn good motivational speech, and hell he was right. Instead of telling to hide, we should find the way to things safer for him to be happy.

“Do whatever you want but let Paul to me” Jim declared.

“It looks like you grow fond to him” I joked.

Liam, Jim and I sighed and then I laughed. “How ironic. Three gay guys in a bed with their cloths on”

“We’re breaking all the rules” Jim chortled.

“I’ll find a club tomorrow. I need to get laid” Liam complained.

And I rolled my eyes. Yeah it was so easy for everybody to just get laid.

Even for Hip to…No…I wasn’t going to think about Kyle sucking…

“Stop!” I grumbled.

“What? What’s going on with you betch?” Jim asked and I shrugged embarrassed.

“Nothing” I shook my head.

“Get some sleep betches, we got a long day ahead” Jim sighed and I nodded closing my eyes.

I hate my dreams sometimes you know? Because that night I dreamed about Kyle telling me he was gay as he locked himself in a room with Hip and I saw everything from a hole and my guts squirmed and I yelled at them, but they didn’t listen to me. They were too busy on their stuffs.

…….

His phone buzzed below the pillow pretty early that morning.

Jim groaned and tossed, but it kept vibrating until it was too much to bear.

He sat on the bed rubbing his eyes and tugged it out.

He blinked a couple of times to take wash his drowsiness away. Unlocked the phone and stared confused at the notification bar.

He almost forgot he synchronized Jack’s calendar in his phone two weeks ago, to check Jack’s schedule and force him out of bed to attend his final exams.

 _I’m his damn assistant._ He resented while ignored the throbbing of his heart at the simple thought of how close they have grown in the past weeks. Way far to the point that it was himself who took care of all Jack’s needs. Like feeding him.

 _Now where are apart._ He reminded himself sighing. He had so many reasons to hate and so much more to love him. But that day…Without knowing Jack have helped him.

He stared at the notification in his phone with malice and grinned. People use to say that vengeance is a dish served cold, but Jim was about to make a sweet dessert of it.

He could have laugh if it wasn’t because Liam and I were sleeping right next to him.

Oh! And speaking of us and the fact that Jim was reconnecting with his inner bitch…Well, He took advantage we were sleeping and…Put Liam’s finger on my nose.

 _You’re not a virgin anymore betch._ He chuckled in his inside as he took the picture and got went to the bathroom to have a bath.

Motherfucker!

Bath was sweet. Actually his day was starting pretty well, though it was pretty early yet.

He couldn’t find any sign of the sun through the window and he chose cold water to take finish waking up.

When he was done, he put on jogging pants and came out.

He knew it was pretty early for other living creatures, but he could use the spare time, and he had to face it. He was thrilled and scared for that afternoon’s big game.

He was determinate to prove everyone he got better after those countless days running for his life at Oakwood’s playing field.

If he knew the coach well enough he would wake everyone up at six to get bath, eat and prepare for a final practice before their big game, so…It would be just a matter of time before the rest of the team joined him.

He went to the playing field where the coach took them the day before. Despite Oakwood’s, this one was had not grass but dirt, and neither were any lights to illuminate Jim’s way, which he thanked in some way. He needed time alone, so he began a soft run around the field.

He was a bit mad at Jack because of what he said about me the night before. And he was also a bit amused of thinking that Jack believed he had enough authority in his life as to decide who Jim could be friends with and who neither.

Stubborn butterflies wouldn’t stop fluttering in his stomach to the thought of…Jack…Acting like.

No.

He couldn’t just let himself think about it, or else…He would end up thinking about silly things and seeing things that didn’t exist.

He had work to do, and couldn’t waste time thinking about…

There, at the other side of the dirt and the overwrought was a shadow. It took his heart less than a second recognize it.

 _Stupid._ Thought Jim replacing the grin that kept trying to come out for a blank an indifferent thin line.

He pretended he didn’t see Jack coming, thought it was hard a thing considering how hard his heart was beating. Last night had been the first the spent apart in two weeks, and now…

_I won’t think about it._

“James!” Jack said cheerful joining him in his run.

 _How weird._ He thought. After all that time, he almost forgot how it was to see him smile, or being annoyingly chirpy.

“Hey” Jim replied quietly focusing in his breathing to start jogging faster.

Jack sped up and addressed him. “I didn’t know you would be here”

“I guess the coach would make us come sooner or later”

Jack nodded. “Yeah, the others are on their way, but I came earlier because I wanted to warm up a bit”

“Great”

Jack stopped short and grabbed Jim by the arm. “Are you mad at me?”

Jim arched a brow and yanked his arm free. “No Jacky, why would I be mad at you?” He replied drily.

Jack sighed. “I thought you wouldn’t want to talk to me after what I said before”

Jim rolled his eyes. “It’s fine Jack. People not always can be friends with anyone and I accept that”

“It’s not fair” Jack complained.

“What?” Jim chuckled.

“You have to stand my family all the time and let’s face it. Beverly isn’t too nice sometimes”

 _Oh! You noticed?_ “So?” Said Jim bored.

“I want this to work, you have been…”

 _Shit._ There he was with his weird comments out of the blue. How could Jim stay true to his beliefs when Jack said those things and messed everything in his mind? “Sorry. What did you say?”

Jack sighed. “You’re still sleepy. Couldn’t sleep last night?”

 _Yeah. I slept and I dreamed we were hugging in my bed as we actually did the past weeks, but you can’t know that._ “Actually I slept like a log”

Jack swallowed and stayed silent for a second. “Anyway. What I’m saying is that I wanna try to meet your friends and be friends with them too. Especially Stiles”

“You know Jacky? Just because you’re Christian doesn’t mean you have to like everybody. Okay? Let it be, just…” _Don’t think you can forbid me be friends with anyone ever again._ He couldn’t say that, he…Kind of liked it a tiny bit.

He bit his lip.

“Just what?” Jack frowned.

Jim heard voices at their left and when he craned his neck he found the rest of the team approaching them.

“Oh! Look. James and Jack are all alone in the dark!” Paul said aloud. “You should be careful Jack, or people might start telling lies about you”

_As if you hadn’t start them already._

Kevin sniggered.

Jim rolled his eyes.

“Quite Paul” Kyle warned him.

Paul ignored him though, and hooked an arm around Garret. “Is that the reason you brought the Viagra Garret? So James…”

Jim cut him short and stared at a very drowsy Aidan. “You told them?!” He said angrily.

Aidan arched a brow confused and let his head fall on his shoulder.

“We heard you in the hall laughing about it James. Too bad” Paul giggled. “If the coach finds out that Garret did it or that you hid the truth from him, there would be two…”

“What do you want from me?” Jim roared.

Jack grabbed him by the arm.

Paul chuckled. “Relax man, I’m just kidding”

“Enough you too” Kyle commanded. “I won’t hear any of you any…”

“Let’s finish this here and now” Jim proposed. “You and me in the field. The first to score three times wins”

Paul’s eyes flickered with interest. “What do I get if I win?”

“You can say whatever you want about Garret and me and….”

Jack gripped him tighter but Jim ignored him. “And we can’t say anything, actually we have to find new jokes for you to make about us”

Paul laughed. “Easy cake”

“But…” Jim started breaking free from Jack’s grasp. “If I win, you will leave us alone and actually you will ask the coach to put Garret on your place in today’s game because you thought it all night and your realized that we have better chances of winning if you’re in the bench and he in the field. Alright?”

“What? Are you fucking out of your mind?” Paul grunted. “Have you seen…?”

Everyone stared at them in silence. Jim knew what he was risking, but he was sick of Paul and he had to win or else, he wouldn’t let them alone ever.

“What? Are you scared a faggot can beat you?”

“I’m won’t lose my time with you. You wouldn’t beat me even if I’m blind folded”

No one laughed this time. Not even Kevin. Jim could see it. Everyone felt Paul was scared. Even Kyle stared at them with interest. Where the hell was the coach? Still jerking off in his room? Jim was glad he wasn’t near to see, because he wanted to do this. He was sick of Paul messing up with Garret at him.

“Oh! You can get Kev in your side if you need it” Jim suggested. “How many straight guys you need to beat a faggot a soccer?”

“I don’t need anyone, I can beat you whenever I want” Paul affirmed with burning eyes.

“Prove it” Jim said with wolfish smirk.

Ten minutes later everyone stared at Jim open mouthed while Paul kicked the dirty and claimed that Jim cheated, but no one believed it. Everyone saw how Jim moved and knew the truth.

He destroyed Paul in his own game. He felt powerful and indestructible. That would teach him a lesson about stereotypes, and would give Garret some rest in the team.

Jim smiled and joined the rest of the team for training.

…….

Of course I couldn’t sleep. I mean…Every time I drifted I saw Kyle kneeling before a naked Hip to…Well you know what he was about to do. Sometimes it wasn’t Hip but me and it was even more disturbing because I shouldn’t have having those kind of dreams.

It was frustrating and scaring, because it clearly said that I still had some kind of feelings for Kyle and it was complicated, because deep inside a part of me kept reminding the way Kyle treated me when I told him I was gay. It wasn’t just nice but amazing. I felt so connected to him and draw to him in some new ways though of course he ruined it ten minutes later when he said all that said to Jack and ruined any possibility of me liking him better. And yet…

Yeah what a mess.

I finally gave up on sleeping and come out of bed to take a cold shower and get rid of my stupid boner.

After I dressed noticed that Jim left pretty early and wondered if the coach made him go to train that early for that day’s game. I was bit thrilled and preoccupied for him. Didn’t want him to lose and I knew he would kick asses but you know, there is always a tiny uneasiness in the chest in those kind of days and if I felt that way, I didn’t want to imagine what it would be like for Jim.

When came out of the room looked through the dark hallway the slivery and furious water crashing several feet nearer to the house than the afternoon of the previous day and while I heard the lulling symphony or their dead I got an idea.

Got back into my room. Liam was still fast asleep and smiling in his dream. I was pleased to see that. He was so strong. Got over that whole situation faster than expected and now could continue with his life as if nothing happened. I caressed his curly hair for a minute and then grabbed my bag and got out of the room.

Derek and Allison’s room -Damn, how weird that sounds- was at the far end of the house, right above the steps that took to the beach. The door was open so I let myself in. Right after coming inside, I was swept by the cold and salty breeze than came from wide opened window before the bed.

I approached and shook Derek slightly. He immediately jerked and fall from the bed, it was then when I noticed he was naked.

I gasped embarrassed and turned to not look at him. Yeah! I know we saw each other naked when we were kids, but it is not the same thing when you are twenty two and your best friend has grown in so many places. Oh crap I was so mortified and now I couldn’t just go away because he was already standing up to reach me.

“What happened? A nightmare?” He whispered at my back as he put his hands on my shoulders to comfort me.

 _I’m not six Derek! For Christ’ sake._ I thought angrily. I couldn’t believe he thought I was so weak as to look for him early morning and get into his bed on which he just had sex with his girlfriend. Where both of their naked bodies touched and… I needed to get over it, just because I didn’t have sex didn’t mean that other human beings didn’t too.

I sighed. “I just wanted to propose you something”

“What?”

“Get dress and bring your camera. I’ll wait outside” I said sternly as I got out without looking at him and sat on the steps to see the waves crashing while I waited.

Derek showed up when a minuscule golden line began to tint the sky at my back.

He arched a confused brow and I just chuckled and tugged of his arm out of the house.

That was part of my new resolution in life. Remember? I wanted to do nice things for him, and that morning I got pretty good idea.

I knew how much Derek liked to take pictures. We both craved for awesome landscapes on which we could try our abilities. It was hobby, though. But there was something pleasant about it. We could stay taking pictures for hours without speaking a word and now I couldn’t even remember the last time we did it.

There was a cliff at the right house of the house. When I told him where I was planning on going, he proposed to get there in his car, but I told him not to. I wanted to hike and explore. Needed the fresh air and apparently so did he, because he didn’t say anything else.

We walked in silence seeing how the town faded bit a bit at our backs and the road stretched and changed until it became dusty and later dirtier with bushes and trees at its sides.

The hills that followed the cliff were larger but longer too, and we couldn’t get too far or we would miss Jim’s game.

For once in a while, everything went just as I planned it –Except for the part I slipped twice while we climbed and scrapped my knees- The top of the cliff was worth looking at. Right there at the top you could see almost the whole city, most part of the hills and notice how everything was surrounded by that deep blue.

I peeked through the edge and felt the air refreshing me until I shivered. But I wasn’t cold or scared, just thrilled because it reminded me of my dream of flying and the way I felt the breeze in my wings. It was perfect.

“So...?” Derek asked scratching his chin.

He was waiting for the dare. We loved to make dares when we took pictures, because…We didn’t just took pictures because we loved nature, we liked to humiliate the other too someway, like that time I made Derek walk down our neighborhood with his clothes backwards –Don’t call me silly, we were thirteen- But today it wasn’t about humiliating anyone. I just wanted to give back to him and spend time together.

“The one who takes the best five pictures wins” I simply said with a smirk.

“And…The loser? What would be your penance?” He asked chuckling.

“Um…” I didn’t think about that. As I said, I wasn’t planning to humiliate him that day, so… “The loser must cook today’s three meals for everyone”

Derek grimaced. “That’s not fair! If you lose…”

“Then you better make sure I don’t lose” I cracked in laughs and he glared at me.

“Hey! You’re taking pictures!” A girls’ voice said at our backs and we frowned and turned.

There were five girls behind us. Carrying some bags with them.

“Oh! Hi” I replied with a smirk.

“Can you take some for us?” The one with the pony tail asked and Derek and I exchanged glances before nodding.

We were laughing in our insides, but we didn’t do it in the outside to not be rude, but…We didn’t like to take much pictures about people. I mean…Why ruin a beautiful landscape with big noses and fat bellies? It was a waste of battery. Yet we did as they asked which was pretty fun, because they came from somewhere in the hills and they were half drunk.

“You’re here for the championship?” Mya –The one with the pony tail asked-

Derek and I nodded.

“Great! We too. When is your first game?”

Derek and I chuckled. “We’re not playing we just came to see”

“Oh good” Replied the blond girl with the short pants and the swaying head. “I came to see my ex-boyfriend play. He plays for the larks”

“Yeah? My friend plays of the Oakwood’s wolves” I said excited.

She sniggered. “Great, then we’ll see they kick your asses in a couple of hours” Teased.

“Thanks for the pictures, by the way” Said the one with long black hair as she approached me very swiftly and rose her hand to take the pen from my right ear.

I swallowed taken aback as she wrote her email address in my arm without taking her eyes from me. For a minute…I think I knew what it was for girls to be sexually harassed by a guy.

“We’ll see you later boys, don’t forget to send us the pictures or we’ll look for you” May said as started their way down.

“Oh…Then I’ll not forget to not send them” Derek chortled and I jabbed him in the ribs and the girls cracked in laughs.

“What?” He mumbled smirking at me.

“Why did you say that? What if Allison finds out?”

Derek rolled his eyes. “I was kidding Stiles, there is nothing bad on joking with strangers, and they weren’t interested in me anyway”

I blinked. No…He didn’t…

“Yeah, I thought she would suck you dry right in front of us”

“Derek! That’s gross!” I said grimacing, but deep inside something felt weird. He was right…She found me a bit attractive? Of course it wasn’t Er…No I’m not going to say that, I mean that of course she wasn’t a hot guy, but it was something. It was the prof that maybe I could get in Hips game and beat him.

That was all. No drama, not yelling. Just Derek and me hanging out and teasing at each other. We laughed and talked about our classes and what how we expected to be our next and final school year, but most of the time we stayed silent taking pictures of the sunrise and the shimmering of the endless ocean. It was perfect and painful…Because it was then when I realized how much I missed him. I lost so many time working on the project and partying with Allison, Kristie and Kyle that almost forgot how it felt to be alone with Derek being the two of us. Luckily I realized my mistake before it was too late.

…….

He felt sick from the moment the referee blown his whistle. It happened so fast that he could scarcely recall how he ended up in the middle of the field just a couple of feet away from Kyle.

Above the crowd went mad. And Jim’s stomach plunged down as soon as he heard roar and the world spun.

He was angry, no. He was furious.

He should have known he couldn’t trust Paul’s word. Even when they played fairly and Jim won, there was Paul swaggering in the playing field while Garret stared at them with longing eyes from the bench along with Gary.

It didn’t matter how much he tried to push to obey their dare. Paul didn’t mind. Then Jim went to the coach things turned out like this.

“Coach…I think Garret should be in the field instead of Paul. He barely did anything at training, he wasn’t focused and Garret did, we have been practicing together and now we can so much better”

The coach simply looked at him in silence and continued giving orders to the rest of the time right before the game started.

Jim was mad he could have kicked the man’s round belly. What the hell did he know about soccer? Nothing.

“We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Garret” Jim reminded him.

“Taylor, Garret still has a lot to improve. I won’t risk our place in the championship just because you are a good friend”

Paul sniggered. “Yeah James, if we didn’t know you anyone would think that you play for the other team”

And that was all.

Back to the game, he kept looking at Paul and wouldn’t stop thinking about what Jack did the last time. How he sacrificed himself so Jim could get in the game. It wasn’t Paul anymore but Garret. Everybody underestimated him and that sucked. Garret was better than Paul, but no one seemed to mind or care about it.

If Jim could take Paul out of the game…It would be complicated and the coach would probably call Gary in first.

What other choices did he have?

“James!” Aidan’s voice called suddenly and Jim snapped back into reality.

Aidan was surrounded and already passed the ball to Jim.

Jim took it and ran after the goal being chased by two of the Larks while kept track of Kyle and Jack at his sides.

He passed the ball to Jack and two guys came after him. They snatched the ball but didn’t keep it much since Kyle came out of nowhere with a sidekick that make one of them trip and made time for Jack to retrieve the ball.

Jim make sings to Jack who quickly answered.

With the ball again Jim passed it to Aidan who approached the goal. Two Larks came over him and he shot back.

Jim stopped the ball with his chest and saw Paul at his right with a greedy stare. He wanted to take the ball from Jim so he could score.

Jim snorted and passed the two guys that lunged after him. He spin right and then left.

Wedged free from the confusing that Paul attempted to create to steal the ball and shot the first goal of the game.

Jim’s heart lurched with joy as the rest of the team joined him and patted him in the back. Jack hugged him tightly and Jim bowed to the crowd haughty. You know what a peacock he was. Even when he felt his gust churning and the uneasiness almost made him grow queasy he wouldn’t miss the chance to call everyone’s attention.

The rest is story. The wolves crushed the Larks two scores against zero. If they won their next game they would pass to the finals and even when it was Kyle who made the last score everyone seemed prouder of Jim.

Even himself. Now, while everyone cheered. Jim prepared the offensive for the game he wouldn’t play in a field but a table.

…….

There was a store just a street away from our lake house. I mean it, Liam was a genius for picking that place for us. He deserved a party too, but tonight everything was about Jim –like the ninety percent of the time-

Like any grocery store in a touristic location, it only sell booze. From all kind and sizes, so I felt like a kid in a candy shop.

“I can’t believe Jimmy knows how to kick a ball” Derek still stunned for what we witnessed just an hour ago.

Kristie chuckled. “Pretty face has become a damn good player since my coz has been teaching him”

“Yeah, I bet Jimmy showed him some moves too” Derek chortled as he took a look at a bottle of vodka.

I jabbed him in the ribs.

“Why Allison didn’t came anyway? I was expecting to see her” Kristie frowned at me.

That was the thing. As I said before…Allison and Kristie were back to be a dynamic duo, which I could only translate in that they sorted things out by determining that what happened between them was just a misunderstanding.

Those were sad news for my plan. But good for the sake of our twisted friendships. I loved them both, and it sucked to look at both of them apart after how fond they grew with each other in matter of months.

“I asked her to help Liam clean up a bit the house, just in case Jimmy is planning on bringing his friends”

Kristie snorted. “Which friends?”

I sighed a bit sad. “Those guys are a bunch of assholes”

She glanced down. “Yeah, I’m a bit mad a Jack for not stepping up for him”

“I guess, it is hard for him too” Derek pointed out.

“How do you know what are we talking about?” I chuckled getting two bottles of orange juice in our basket.

Derek gave me one of his smart-ass looks. “I got ears Stiles. That guy should keep his mouth shut before Jimmy strikes back. You know how he is”

“How?” Kristie asked curious.

Of course she was curious. She didn’t know the real Jim.

I went to the next corridor and pulled of Derek’s arm. He was about to give Jim off if he spoke a bit more.

“Can you please save that for yourself? Everyone thinks that Jim is like Gandhi here” I muttered.

“I know. I saw the videos, remember?” He arched a brow. “But it will happen sooner than later Stiles. He is under a lot of pressure”

“You have amazing perception powers” I pointed out sharply.

“I have to. I live with you” He chuckled and I continued my walk to avoid smacking him in the head.

“Hey! It is you” A voice said at my back while I checked some whiskeys with a grimace –I couldn’t understand how Jim could like it, but it was his party, so he would appreciate if I bought a bottle or two-

I spun and there she was.

“Mya” I smiled.

“Grace is pretty upset because you hadn’t send the pictures yet” She pointed out arching a brow.

“I thought she would be crying because we kicked your asses in the field” Derek said suddenly and I rolled my eyes.

_What do you know about soccer, Derek?_

Mya cracked in laughs. “That too” She admitted. “It sucks to get cut when it was just starting”

Derek and I nodded.

“What are you boys doing? Planning on celebrating tonight uh?”

“Yeah, we’re throwing a party for our brave warriors” I chuckled.

“It would be nice, to feel a winner for once” She suggested.

Okay, that was a pretty lame way to say that she wanted to join us, and no way! Her friend Grace gave me the creeps early that morning and now….

“You should pass by them. We’re not far, just a street back right in the shore”

Oh crap! I almost forgot how charming and silly and DUMB Derek could get to be. That was the reason why he couldn’t be apart for that long. I couldn’t believe he did that to me! I bet he was laughing in his inside while I just wanted to kick his ass.

“I think I know the place. I’ll see you boys tonight then” She giggled and walked away.

“Guys look what I found” Kristie’s voice said happily as she joined us carrying a bottle of something called hangover.

Who in the hell would drink something called hangover? Never mind. I grabbed the bottle and went to the register. I wanted to get out there before Grace showed up and decided to take my pen, and had run out of those already.

…….

The coach stood and glanced at all of them and then nodded. That was all. It wasn’t a _“You did well”_ but a _“Thank God you didn’t ruin it”_

It didn’t matter, though. At this point Jim have learned that they would never get any kind of recognition from the man.

“Where is Kristie?” He asked at Kyle as he took a look at the able and noticed than most of the guys brought some sluts that hooked their arms around their necks as soon as they won.

A part from Kyle, Jack and Gary anyone else decided not to bring their real girlfriends there. _Morons._ Jim hoped they girls back at Oakwood heard the news about their harem and dump them.

“She went to Stiles’. Apparently, they have a surprise for us” Kyle said with a wicked smile.

 _For who are you smiling that way Kyle?_ He thought pleased sipping a bit of wine from his cup.

He was impressed and happy to hear about the surprise we got for them. But he also knew that none of it would match what was about to happen.

The hotel that was hosting them, prepared a room for the winners of each game. To share their stories, chill a bit and forget about all the stress they went through. It was feast and they would have the richest meals the cooks got to offer. Jim heard about it an hour before the game, so he went to kitchens and something might have slipped from his mouth. Everyone would have thought that it was chivalrous act, which would make everything more delightful to behold.

It started as a cupcake tray placed in the middle of the table as they ate their grease and salty duck and Paul engulfed half a salmon in a bite. At least he wasn’t making his awful remarks while he eat.

Jim stared at Garret with his guts burning. _I’ll get you the place you deserve Garret. I promise._

Another tray came in. This one brought a fount of melted chocolate with strawberries at its sides.

Jim smirked and held his urges to look at the left.

Took a slice of duck with his fork and chewed it slowly, enjoining how his mouth went watery, though he wasn’t sure if it was because of the meal or his little game.

Later came the donuts. The boys who carried the trays where doing such a great job. Jim didn’t need to tell them what to do. Since everyone was eating at the room was packed with so much food that the only place where they could place the desserts was…

The coach rose again with his cup held high.

“To James. For proving that everyone can get better”

_Do you call that a compliment?_

Almost everyone clapped. Luckily a herringbone choke Paul when he attempted to make one of his comments.

Jim smiled pleased and rose his cup and looked at everyone with a broad grin. Then it started.

The door of the lavish room swum open and a man came inside bringing a two story cake with pink and white frosty on top.

Everyone stared at him confused. Everyone but two persons. Jim and the only one among them who hadn’t touch the dinner at all.

Beverly’s cheeks went red and he could notice how she pressed her lips in a tight line. She didn’t move a muscle.

“I…think…you’re mistaken…good man. Our queen today and every day is right there” Paul said when he finally managed to breathe again.

Jim smiled. “No Paul. Today is Beverly’s birthday. She is turning twenty five” _Yeah bitch, you’re old._ “Isn’t that right Bev?”

The man behold his work happily and stared at Beverly awaiting for a praise.

She swallowed and forced a smile. “Thank you”

Then Jim felt it. Jack’s eyes on him.

Jim rose his chin and did his best to not crack in laughs. _That’s right Jacky. You love her so much you forgot her birthday._

Jim them looked back and noticed that Jack didn’t dare to look at his girlfriend, so he cleared his throat and spoke. “I can’t believe you managed to prepare such feast for her Jack. You definitely love her very much”

Everyone stared intently at Beverly, awaiting for her to blow the candles and cut the first slice.

“What are you waiting girl? I think we all deserve a piece” The coach chortled and that was the first time Jim thought the mad said the right words.

Beverly hesitated as she took the knife the cook offered her and everyone started singing the happy birthday to her.

_It looks tasty, don’t you think Bev?_

She heard them sing all along and he could notice how it craved for them to stretch the song. She looked at the food, at her empty plate and the cupcakes. The chocolate, the fish, the lamb, the strawberries and her sparkling clean dish again.

Her lips wobbled, her hands shook and her whole body stirred. She knew what was happening. Nothing pleased more a chef than behold his diners enjoy their meals and be praised by them.

She swallowed and the song was about to get to an end.

“Blow the candles” Everyone urged her.

_Blow my whistle bitch._

She rose and ran, she tripped with a chair and fall on the floor. Some laughed –Paul among them- Jim would have liked, but it wouldn’t have been good. Instead he followed her.

She opened the doors and continued her flee toward the emptiest place she found in the lobby. A couch in the back side of the entrance. Jim reached her with concern in his eyes.

“Bev…Are you okay?” He said as he heard the steps at his back and smiled pleased in his insides.

“You think I’m stupid!?” She roared as tears climbed on her eyes and her breathing hitched.

“What are you talking about? Are you feeling unwell?” He reached closer and put a hand on her arm. “Is there something wrong?”

“I know it was you! Jack wouldn’t have done that! He knows…”

“He knows what?” Jim frowned.

“That…”

 _That you’re fat?_ Jim though as he stare at her body arms and her gaunt face. She might have been tall, blonde and have a Barbie face, but her eating disorder was starting to claim its toll on her.

“You did it to…To humiliate me. Because you hate me! You’re disgusting!”

Jim gasped taken aback. “Beverly…I’m…” Tears climbed at his eyes. –As I said before that bastard was a damn good actor- “I’m…”

She took Jim by the collar of his shirt and stamped him in the couch. Wow she was almost strong. “Let me alone! I know you did it because you want me out of the way. You’re sick, but you won’t get away with this!”

“Why are you doing this to me?” Said Jim with a frightened face.

“Beverly!” Jack finally spoke after almost two minute of silence.

Beverly let go of Jim and ran upstairs.

Jim held his breath and then chocked in cries.

“James…”

“I’m…I’m so sorry Jacky”

“James, it is not your fault she just…”

“I just wanted to do something nice for her and…”

“It is my fault, I forgot her birthday” Jack admitted.

“I know, and I had no time. My phone just reminded me when the game ended and I knew you wouldn’t have enough time to find a present. I just…I just wanted to help you” Jim sobbed harder.

Jack stared at him broken and lost, and then he closed his eyes as he balled his hands.

“I can’t believe what she said” Jack said openmouthed.

 _Oh. I definitely do, though._ Jim thought with malice hiding his face into his arms to finally let his smirk out.

…….

As soon as I greeted Alan and his friends I knew that it was a bad idea. Not because of Alan of course, but Hip.

News spread. Of course it would happen. But Jim wasn’t even there for his own party and people were already gathering at our place. A party was the perfect chance for Hip to approach Kyle and that made me feel uneasy, as if I was about to fall in a void over and over.

I couldn’t just tell Hip to leave Kyle alone now. It would prove how much Hip frightened me and of course it would be a clear declaration that I had feelings for Kyle and was jealous because I knew that I would never be able to do what Hip could.

It was so unfair and I had only one option. I had to become Kyle’s shadow that night and keep his ass well away from Hip’s cock.

Apart from that situation that was driving me crazy and well scared, was the fact that Mya and her friends were coming over and Derek couldn’t be more amused because that scared the shit out of me. Things were pretty messed up in my life as usual.

Derek put his car in right below the house’s steps and put blaring dance music to entertain everyone while we waited for the sun to finally come down and Jim showed up.

That’s the thing about all this. The party hadn’t start officially and I already wanted it over.

To ease my nerves a bit, I went to the steps to stare at the sunset while the rest fooled in the beach.

“Aren’t you going?” Derek asked sitting next to me when Alan hurried to take off his clothes to join his friends in the beach.

I shook my head. “Maybe later”

“Stiles…” He hesitated and for a second gave up on his speech, but sadly he couldn’t keep his mouth closed and at the end blurt it out. “You haven’t even get a feet in the beach since we got here”

I chuckled. “So what?”

“I thought…I mean. Go! Have fun”

_I want, but I can’t._

“Look how much fun Allison is having” He pointed out as I squinted at the orange water where Allison and Kristie fooled like children.

I was amazed and puzzled by how easy things changed between them.

“Yeah. It looks fun” I admitted.

“Well. Let’s go!” He urged me as he stood and took off his top in a blink and I pressed my lips in a thin line as I stared as his chiseled chest and abs.

It was easy to just say let’s go when you looked like Derek, and it only made me madder that he couldn’t understand me. Somehow in those two years at college he forgot what it was like to be a loser.

“Go” I nodded to him with a smirk. “I want to wait for you Jim”

“Come one Stiles” He made his puppy eyes. “Everything will be fine”

“Its fine Derek, just go” I said a bit irate.

“But, why you…”

“Hey, Derek!” Alan shouted from the water as he made him sings to join them.

“Go Derek, I’ll help Liam and Tim finish. Okay?”

Derek’s cheeks reddened. He was mad at me because he couldn’t understand how I could be so stubborn. And I was mad of him for being so selfish to not understand my own feelings. I couldn’t understand how he hadn’t accept it after so many years.

I stood and went inside to help Liam finish the banner he was working on for Jim along with Tim.

I don’t know if you remember, but Tim was a damn good graphic designer, and of course he also loved to paint. So he couldn’t resist the idea when Liam proposed it to him.

I took some paint and help them finish in silence while Tim told us what to do.

By the time we were done the sun finally sunk. We took our banner and some nails and hanged it in the living room by the moment the door Swum open and Jim and Kyle got inside accompanied by Aidan.

“You’re so funny” Said Jim a bit annoyed as Kyle and Aidan cracked in laughs.

I got down of the ladder and stepped back to stare at our making with proudness.

“Well done!” Kristie voice said from our left as she came inside dripping wet and shivering by the draft that leaked through the windows.

“Congrats, you didn’t ruin it this time” She read the words aloud and we all laughed.

I don’t know where the hell Hip was. I didn’t see him since the game, but hell that I wasn’t going to give him any chance, so as soon as Kristie started telling everyone about how great it would be to get into the beach in the middle of the night and hurried to approach Kyle to chat a little and keep him busy enough so that asshole couldn’t do anything to him.

Kyle looked at me when I stopped next to him. And now I recalled that I hadn’t congratulate him for winning the game. It was something awkward if you think about it. I was there, trying to act all cool while I knew what Hip got in hands –Because of my fault- So I was a bit nervous and when Kyle looked at me he grinned and then hugged me.

Okay, this was starting to become a habit for him. Yeah, he hugged me in the past like three or four times, but now…It was almost his way to say hi, and it was upsetting. Yet I just hugged him back and congratulated him as a good friend would do.

We went to the back to join the others. I felt a bit more comfortable now that Kyle was around, especially because he decided not to join Allison and Kristie in the water. I know he wasn’t doing it for me, but somehow I felt his support, instead of Derek who almost dragged me into the water an hour ago.

Kyle and I sat in the sand to see the others bath as we were swept by the endless wind. There was something beautiful and refreshing about that. Jim joined us along with Liam and Cass.

“Where is Tim?” I asked when Cass offered us some beers.

“He is one the phone, arguing with someone” Cass replied a bit upset which quickly led me to think of Craig. Could it be him?

“So Jimmy…Where is your friend?” Liam said casually as he sipped from his beer.

Jim rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, Jim. I thought Jackson would come” I added laughing in my insides as I recalled all the things I said to Jack the night before.

“It is her girlfriend’s birthday” Kyle explained. “And he is trying to calm her because she’s having a crisis”

“Oh! How sad” Liam said a bit concerned.

“Yeah” Sighed Jim though I could see his eyes flickering.

“Oh, by the way. You’re Casden, right?” Said Kyle looking at Cass with some admiration.

Even when Cass was huge and intimidating, he was a hairless teddy bear. He just shrugged and nodded.

“Stiles told me about your mixes. People is talking about them” Kyle affirmed.

Cass smiled and took a sip.

“Damn!” Added Aidan shocked. “You should play some of your mixes here man”

“I don’t know, maybe when it is a bit more crowded”

“Yeah. Some friends are coming over” Aidan affirmed.

“Friends?” Jim arched a brow.

“Some friends from Econ. I don’t think Paul would come after what happened this morning between you two”

 _What?_ “What happened?” I asked a bit concerned.

“You better think twice” Said Kyle a bit alarmed as his eyes darted from Jim to something behind me.

When I turned. I saw him. That guy Paul tumbling and cracking in laughs accompanied by twenty more guys or so.

This wasn’t good.

…….

 _This isn’t good._ That was the first thing Jim thought as soon as he saw Paul and whoever the other guys that joined him were.

“Who let them in?” He asked angrily.

“Good question” I replied shrugging.

Jim didn’t want to fight. Neither want another night like the one we lived a month ago. The wounds were too fresh, and even when would have loved to kick Paul’s ass bloody, his mind took him straight to Liam. I don’t know, I guess Jim and I shared the same thought. Liam was the most fragile of the betches, and he was the one who got the worst part the other night. Our first instinct was to get him to a safe place.

It was so unfair.

Even when it was our safe ground. I mean. We rented that house, even better said. Liam rented that house. Why they went to mess with us? And of course as soon as Paul saw Jim, Aidan and Kyle, he felt even more comfortable, so he decided to join.

“Hey guys!” He said chuckling as he put an arm around Jim’s shoulder. “What’s up, James? You wanna a kiss?” He blurted out jokingly.

His breath was pure alcohol. Jim had no doubt he drank his ass in the feast.

Jim wretched free from him and stood taking Liam by the shoulder.

“Let’s go” He ordered sternly.

He could see on Liam’s eyes that he wanted to do something, but he just did as Jim said and stood.

Paul cleared his throat to say something else, but Aidan called his attention and everyone’s when he lit a cigarette and accidentally burned him with him.

Paul grabbed him by the collar and Aidan chuckled and apologized.

_I owe you one. Asshole._

Liam kicked off his shoes when they got into the house and punched the wall. “When you became such a pansy bitch?” Complained.

“Since, I know how to count” Jim grumbled.

“Betch, you can’t leave that son of the bitch to treat you like that”

“You think I don’t know?” Jim balled his hands. “But we need to be careful Rupaul”

Of course Jim knew. Now Paul wasn’t just bullying Jim, the betches and Garret. But also would make Aidan’s life miserable and just because he tried to save Jim. It wasn’t just unfair, it was so frustrating.

Jim punched the wall too.

“Wow, what a nice blow” Liam chuckled.

“Yeah, I just wished it was his face” Jim took a sip of his beer and Liam did too.

“I’m sorry. You’re right, we need to be careful, but the more I know this friend of yours, the less I like him”

“He is not my friend” Jim laughed.

“You know what? I think he is that ass because deep inside he is curious” Liam giggled.

Jim choked a laugh and rolled his eyes. “Remember what happened the last time we said so”

“It is true, betch...” Liam made a pause they craned their necks to notice a high volume of people that passed by them. People they didn’t even know and some others that Jim saw once or twice at Oakwood.

“Who is all that people?” Liam said blinking.

“My fans” Said Jim haughtily.

Liam burst in laughs.

Jim cracked too but them Liam stopped short.

“What…?” He was saying and Liam pointed at his back.

And there it was again. That knot in Liam’s stomach at the sight of Jack’s face darkened by the shadow of the low ceiling.

“He…Hey” He said hesitantly.

Jim had to make a special effort to not smile like an idiot. It wasn’t right, but he couldn’t help it. The distance between them felt odd ad exciting at the same time. It almost felt as if he had counting the seconds since the last time he saw Jack. He hated him. He should have. The camera he got in his chest was the proof of it.

“Hello” Replied Jim with a smirk.

“I…I think we haven’t been properly introduced” Jack said a bit embarrassed.

“I’m Liam”

“I’m Jackson”

“It is nice to meet you Jackson. If you excuse me…I need a refill. I’ll see you guys later” Liam turned, winked at Jim and strode off.

_You got to be kidding me._

Despite Jim, Jack didn’t make any effort to hide his smiles for him which only tightened the knot in his stomach.

“I didn’t know you would come” Jim said a bit startled as the paced to the steps and stared at the people partying in the beach.

“I told you James. I’ll do my best to get along with your friends. Liam seems pretty nice. Was the…The one who got…Raped? I’m glad to know he is okay”

Jim shook his head.

“No. It was a drag queen we meet that night” Jim explained.

“A drag what?” Jack giggled and took Jim’s beer from his hands to sip from it without even asking.

The scarce second his fingertips brushed Jim’s hand get him chills and he had to look away. “I thought you would be with Bev”

“That’s the reason I came” Jack admitted a bit sad.

“Did you…”

Jack shook his head. “We had an arguing. She won’t stop saying that you trying to hurt her”

“I just…”

“I know” Jack cut him short and smiled. “I know you just wanted to help me James. It is just hard to understand you sometimes”

_I’m hard to understand?_

“So…You think…I mean. I don’t understand why she was so upset”

The stood from the steps and started walking by around the sand as some girls danced with guys, and some girls with girls. Jim went to the table and grabbed another beer and then Jack did too.

“You shouldn’t…”

Jack snorted. “See? That is the reason why you are so hard to understand James. I know you wouldn’t ever try to do something mean to anyone and less to Bev”

_You couldn’t be more wrong._

“She…She has a disorder” Jack admitted ashamed.

“What?” Jim pretended to be shocked.

“I don’t know how to explain it. But, it is almost as if she felt afraid of eating”

“It can’t be” Jim replied openmouthed. “I didn’t notice before”

Jack let out a sad smile. “Of course you didn’t. You’re too nice for your own good James. What you did…I…”

_Yeah. You forgot her birthday._

“You just wanted to make something special for her, and make me look like the best boyfriend in the world” Jack said ashamed. “That’s one of the things I love must about you”

 _You’re having your first beer. Don’t say that._ Jim flushed.

“She will get over it. She has to”

“Then why did you leave her alone?” Jim cut him short. Yeah, even when Jim was rejoicing that his plan worked, he couldn’t help feeling a bit sad for Bev for Jack leaving her alone in her birthday to go after him. Who knew? Maybe Jim was a better person he dared to admit after all.

Jack stepped back and giggled. “I asked her to come and…She kicked me out”

 _Wow!_ “I’m so sorry”

“It’s fine! Maybe she doesn’t want to celebrate her birthday, but that doesn’t mean we can’t do it for her”

Jim snorted. “I’m concerned, she could…”

“She is fine. When I left her, she was calling some friends who came to join her in her room”

Jim sighed with some relief. The least he wanted was a suicidal added to the list of people whose life he ruined.

“So…Why don’t we party a bit? We need to celebrate we won”

Jim bit his lip. “I’m not sure you should…” _Your mom told me to take care of you_.

“James. I told you, you’re hard to read. I can’t understand how a person so pure and good, can drink and smoke and do drugs”

“I don’t do drugs” _Often._

“I just want to try it. I want to be part of your world James”

 _Stop saying those things!_ “Jack, I don’t think this is a good idea”

“Was the worst thing that can happen?”

 _Are you kidding?_ “Did you forget how we met?” Jim chuckled.

“I don’t. That is why I know nothing bad will happen as long as I’m with you”

_Shit I thought you have left all that shit behind._

“No drugs” Jim said at once.

“No drugs” Jack nodded and smiled at Jim with thrilled look on his eyes.

…….

I had to take a piss. That’s the thing about beer and having a bladder the size of a peanut. I needed to get into the bathroom desperately, but first I needed to find Hip. I wouldn’t feel safe until I knew he was far away from Kyle.

 _I’m so stupid._ I thought while I stood. There he was, pretty far away chatting with two girls and I could swear one of his hands was on the breasts of one of them, yet his eyes where with me.

Other reason why I needed to get was that guy Paul. I don’t know how I still hadn’t smacked him, considering all the crap he was speaking about Jim. Kyle and Aidan didn’t reply to his comments, and of course they wouldn’t. Those guys who accompanied Paul were mostly unknown to us. Just three of them were part of the Oakwood’s soccer team, others where some law students I recognized by sight, and the rest I had no idea who the hell they were, but if they were hanging out with him, couldn’t be that far from being a bunch of idiots.

“Are you going for a drink? I can get you one if you want” Kyle said when he saw.

I shook my head. “I’ll be back in a min” I replied striding off as soon as I could while soft dirt leaked into my shoes.

I had to get there quick and get back before it was too late. I could feel Hips eyes on me with every step I took and it was driving me crazy. I wanted to get right where he was I tell him that he won our stupid bet and that he could continue messing with whoever he wanted as long as he stayed away from Kyle, but I wasn’t brave enough.

I got inside and ran to my room. I found a guy saying silly things to a girl in the bed while they held hands. I glared at them.

 _Don’t believe anything he says._ I wished I could have said it aloud, but his arms were larger than my head, yet I got some bravery to kick them out.

Once I was done with my business hurried to left the room. It was something dangerous to do this every twenty minutes, it was just matter of time before Hip showed up and took Kyle away from me for good. Them I would be screwed for good. It was better if I just pretended I was drinking until Kyle left safely to his room in the hotel.

I got out of my room and took a deep breath. Once in the steps hurried to get my eyes on Kyle, but there was a problem.

He was gone.

My heart lurched and almost had a heart attack when I found Hips girl’s alone. He wasn’t on sight either.

My stomach plunged down and started sweating. He was going to do it! He was going to have sex with Hip. Why? Why I was so stupid to ask him to do it? Why I was so mad when I should have been celebrating that I would have really good material for the project?

“Hey you!” A voice said and I gasped.

I couldn’t believe this. I spoon and found Mya and her friends right behind me. They were just getting in and wore those wicked smirks with them.

“Is nice to see you again” Her friend said at once as she approached and clutched me by the arm.

 _No! Let me go please! I have to save Kyle!_ “Hey! I’m happy to know you made it”

“We wouldn’t miss it” Mya affirmed.

“Can you get me something to drink?” The girl asked at my ear. I would have said no, but that gave me the opportunity to run away from her.

As soon as she released me I went to the drinks, pretending I was all dutiful while I searched for Kyle, with some luck he wouldn’t have gone with Hip after all, but I couldn’t find him. He was just vanished. I was freaking out. Literally, I couldn’t get to grab a bottle without letting it fall, thank god it got its cap or everyone would have killed me.

“Are you okay?” A husky a quiet voice asked as a cold and slick hand grabbed mine to steady it.

“I’m fine” I lied lending the bottle to Derek. What could I say? I couldn’t just come out with, no! I’m crazy! I sent Hip after Kyle and I’m regretting it now.

“Why are you so upset?” He asked with concern.

I shook my head. “Nothing…It is just hat…”

“Here you are” Mya showed up after us along with her friend.

“I came to see if you needed some help” She said pursing her lips.

Derek’s eyes flickered and recognition passed through them. Well, I guess I would rather him to think I was intimidated by that girl than Hip. At least it would avoid and awkward and very loud arguing.

“I nice to see you again” Said Derek with a smirk.

“I couldn’t agree more” Mya’s friend said without taking her eyes of me.

“Derek hurry up, Kristie is…Oh hello” Allison said suddenly when she stopped right next to us.

Her eyes went from Derek to the girls and then I saw how they darkened.

“Hello” Mya said squinting as she shook Allison’s hand. The rest of her friends stayed silent.

Allison stared at her a bit confused but then she snapped. “I’m her boyfriend”

Mya didn’t reply, she just stared at her frowning for half a minute and then she parted her lips. “Allison?”

Allison blinked twice. Derek and I exchanged glances and then stared at them.

“Oh my God! Mya?” Allison gasped.

“Allison! How did you get so….How long have been since…” Mya was speechless. Suddenly the clear interest she had on Derek vanished and now she was busier introducing her friends to Allison, who would stop smiling as she looked at her friend and hugged her.

“What are you doing here?” She said amazed. “You moved here?”

Mya shook her head. “We came for the championship. Our team got crushed today.

“Yeah? That sucks” Allison giggled.

“Um…It was Jimmy who kicked their asses” Derek pointed out but they just ignored him.

Great! I had a chance to slip away. I prepared to run away when I ran into Kristie and we both knocked our foreheads and fell to the floor.

“Sorry” I said grimacing as I stood and grabbed her by the arm to help her stand.

“Are you okay?” She said with concern.

I nodded. “Yeah, you?”

She giggled.

“Have you seen Kyle?” I asked casually hoping she would know.

She shook her head. “I thought he was with you, said a bit harshly. We worked so hard on this and he hasn’t say thinks”

_Crap._

“Kristie come” Allison waved at her.

“Who are those?” Kristie hushed when she took me by the arm and led me back with Allison and Mya.

“Some friends of Allison” I said without giving much importance to it. I needed to find Kyle.

_Please Kyle, reject him._

It was insane. I looked around. From the steps to the rocks on the side. The small group of people I didn’t know sitting in the shore, to the ones who were playing a shots game. From inside the water to the bedrooms when I excused myself to take a piss.

My new best friends wouldn’t let me alone either. Every time I tried to slip away, Derek or Kristie would show up looking for me. Mya and Allison sat by the shore to share stories as their friends laughed and Derek and Kristie didn’t seem to enjoy much their company. Actually I think it was the first time I saw Kristie glaring at some one. So…Since they couldn’t spend time with Allison, they decided to get in the middle of my plans and of course I couldn’t just tell them to fuck off to run after Kyle because…Well, they both would kill me if they knew what I was stuck in.

Allison in the other hand. She looked so happy. Actually she used to be kind of a loner like me, though of course it changed right after her extreme makeover, but tonight that difference was even more noticeable. I overheard some of the things they were saying while Derek and Kristie pretended to laugh their asses out while Mya’s friends flirted with me and I tried to push her out politely.

Allison and Mya used to be really close friends until they started junior high and Allison moved out. But that’s not the interesting thing about this whole mess but Allison’s weight. As I guessed long ago, Allison used to be fat, but really fat and her new self well, it was something Mya still couldn’t believe.

“It is just that…I…” She stuttered every time she looked at Allison amazed. “I can’t believe, you’re a like a whole new person”

“Are you kidding? I’m the same as always, but look at you” Replied Allison with sparkling eyes for the fifth time.

“Both are amazingly pretty” Kristie snapped and stood.

“Hey! Where are you going?” Asked my jailer when I wretched free from her to follow Kristie.

“I’ll be right back” I lied and continued my way after Kristie while I made signs to Derek to come with us when he was back with the drinks.

“That was kind of harsh” I giggled when we sat in the dark side of the beach to listen to the waves crash and spray our faces”

“They will get over it” Kristie said dryly as she took a sip of her drink.

I looked back and saw Derek walking in circles looking for us, but he couldn’t find us and the waves muffled my cries, at the end I just gave up.

“This night sucks” She pointed out after a few minutes in silence.

I frowned. “I thought you were having a good night”

She shook her head. “Yeah, but…I don’t know. I can’t feel the party in here, everyone is somewhere apart. I liked it better when it was just the four of us”

I looked back and saw Allison still chatting chirpily with her all new friends.

“Oh come on! Don’t tell me you’re…” _Jealous?_ “Jealous”

“Is not that Stiles. I’m mad at Kyle for not even coming to say hi since he got here, and then I was saying that to her but she wouldn’t pay attention because she is too busy with that Mya”

“Yeah, that sounds pretty much as jealousy” I chortled.

“I’m not Jealous Stiles, I’m just concerned for your friend Derek. That skank looks like she wants to steal Allison from her”

_What?_

“I don’t…” My voice drifted off. “I think…”

“Oh come on! Look at her”

“I didn’t think you were homophobic, considering that…” I said a bit hurt. Damn it! Now I wanted to know more than ever what the hell those two talked the night before.

“I’m not, but she looks at Allison as she was a steak”

There was something pretty weird in all this.

She took another sip and then I understood. It was the alcohol. It was loosening her tongue.

“She doesn’t look like a lesbian to me and even if she wasn’t I don’t think Allison that would kiss her or anything”

“Who knows? Everyone is a bit gay” She cracked in laughs.

“Even you?” I teased with a devilish smirk.

“Especially me” She laughed harder and drank too much. “That’s why you were spying on us last night, don’t you?”

I paled and pretended to drink to hide my face. “I wasn’t spying, I told you I was just looking for you when…”

“Oh come on Stiles! Maybe that was your intention at first, but when you heard what I was saying about Er you decided to eavesdrop. You wanted to know if Kyle is gay after all”

“No!” I said blushing. “He isn’t. Right?”

Kristie squinted for a minute and then burst in laughs. “How in the hell will I know? I’m not a guy gay”

“That’s not what I meant”

“I know Stiles, but men are complicated you know? People always says that women are hard to understand. But you know what’s hard? Understand men”

 _Thank you! Finally someone gets me._ “So…You have your suspicious after all?” I asked openmouthed.

“Of course” She snorted. “But I have no way to know” She nodded and took another sip. “But you…”

_Oh crap!_

“Kristie I don’t…”

“Oh come on! It will be fun! I know you’re drooling for him Stiles!”

“Are you insane? He’s just boyfriend!” I pointed out angry and sad and ashamed but most of all thrilled.

“I’m just curious” She chortled. “If he doesn’t sleep with you he is not gay, but if he does…”

“Then you will hate him, hate me and hate yourself forever” I warned her.

“Oh don’t be so melodramatic Stiles, it will be just our little game. No one will know. I’ve been thinking about this for months. I need to shake this doubt out of my mind for good”

“You’re crazy, you know?”

She giggled. “Maybe, but I just want to know the truth Stiles, sometimes…He just looks at you…Never mind. I’m asking you because you’re my friend. Have sex with him”

  1. _Don’t you understand? I’m already regretting the decision you just made!_



…….

It started as something pretty innocent.

It was just the two of them. Laughing for once in weeks. Jim didn’t like Jack to drink because he always went to tears at the end, but right now he seemed to be enjoining the night. It was something good, so he let it pass.

Then they showed up.

As I said, it was something innocent. This girl Tara, went from Oakwood too. She had been looking at Jim for half an hour and gossiping with her friends until they decided to approach.

She wasn’t interest in Jim, at least not in the way anyone would expect. Turns out she was in the feminine soccer team. He didn’t even know that Oakwood had one. There wasn’t a championship for them either, he felt a bit mad because of it.

Even when she praised the way he played and much she enjoyed the game, he could notice she felt a bit jealous because she would like to be in his place.

That way they started to share stories from the game and cracked in laughs a couple of times recalling how the wolves crushed the larks. At some point he lost track of Jack and half an hour later he spotted him dancing with one of Tara’s friends.

He paid no mind and continued chatting with her, and listening to her advises for the game they were about to face the next day against Portland’s lions. She knew some people there and had seen them play before so she knew they would be hard to beat and also threatened Jim to not lose against them.

The next time he looked at his left. Jack was giggling while he sipped from his drink and danced closely to the girl that had both of her arms around him.

His guts squirmed but he tried to not pay attention. It was an innocent dancing. Jack needed to recover from grief and Jim didn’t have rights to feel jealous. It wasn’t like Jack was going to throw her again and ask him to dance with him, neither would Jim accept even if he asked.

He went back with Tara just to realize that she was occupied chatting with her friends again before a guy asked her to dance in the sand. She took off her slippers, unknotted her hair and went there. They both slumbered in a slutty dance and Jim stared at them a bit bored until he decided to fetch another drink.

He found the bottle of Whisky I bought for him and poured a cautious amount in a rep cup along with some ice cubes that started melting almost immediately. He breathing in the salty air and sighed. At least Paul was nowhere to be seen. With some luck he would have been back in the hotel drowning on his own vomit.

He spun to get back to his place before the dancers and he saw it.

His glass fell from his hand untouched and his body stirred as anger scorched him inside and his pulse quickened.

He continued walking as if nothing have happened. He didn’t mind…He couldn’t mind. Luckily everyone was so busy with their own stuffs to notice his clumsiness.

Jack wasn’t far of the steps that took back to the house, but it was so crowded that with luck he wouldn’t notice Jim getting inside. He needed to back to the room.

He drank too much. That was all, he felt that way because he had have too much alcohol and now his stupid feelings were threatening to choke him there.

He passed by the circle around the spot where most of the couples dance and Jack and that girl kissed and he climbed the steps swallowing all the things he wanted to say to him.

He didn’t get far though.

He didn’t have to turn. He just knew. That was the thing about their too. They have been spending too much time together, that Jim didn’t need to see his outline in the darkness or listen his voice in his back. Something inside him just could tell whenever Jack right behind him, but Jim pretended he didn’t feel anything and kept walking.

“Hey” Jack’s called at his back.

Jim pretended to hearing anything because of the blast of Cass’ mixes and continued striding away.

When he opened our room’s door Jack but an arm between him and the door way, then slid a hand by Jim’s waist and forced him to spin.

Jim snapped at swallowed.

“Where are you going?” He asked innocently.

Jim blinked pretending confusion as he made an effort to ignore the lipstick smeared all over Jack’s face.

“Hey…I just…Came to take a piss”

Jack’s eyes flickered he licked the lipstick from his pink lips as it was prize.

“Oh…Okay, I’ll wait for you”

 _What? What are you playing?_ He thought with anger but instead of letting it flutter out he snorted. “What for? Go ahead, have fun”

“I’mmm….Having…Alot of fun” He slurred as he swayed back and forth.

“I noticed” Jim forced a smile and made his hand away to get inside.

Jack blocked his way again and leaned until they were so close Jim could feel his the mix of his perfume with along with the alcohol and tickled his nose. “Yourenot having fun” Jack pointed out as he licked his lips again.

“I’m just bored” Jim swallowed.

“Thatsall? Your engry…I…Are you jealous or sombeing?”

 _Yes._ Jim shook his head sucking a breath to steady his heartbeat. “I’m mad at you if that’s what you want to know” He dared to say.

Jack’s eyes shone with fear, anger or what? Jim couldn’t tell there were so many things popping of his eyes that it was impossible for him to tell what he was seeing. “I can’t biliit. I knew…Youwere in love with me” He grunted. “Bev was wright….You’re disgust..en…”

Jim snorted. “I’m mad at you, because you’re such a good boy Jacky, that you forgot your girlfriend’s birthday, let her alone and came here to smooch with some girl you just met” Jim spilled soft and steadily as he took Jack’s arm back again, but this time to get as away from him as possible.

“I’m having fun!” Jack yelled at his back.

“Good for you!” Jim grumbled without turning as he stealthy wiped the tear that fell from his eyes.

He wasn’t sure how it happened, but since they got to Sunset Valley, they wouldn’t stop fighting.

…….

“Okay, okay. I’ll do it” I finally said cracking in laughs as a huge wave crashed at our feet and bathed us.

At this point the alcohol was way deep inside me and now I wouldn’t stop chuckling. _Fuck Kyle. Literally._ Of course I wasn’t going to sleep with Kyle, there were so many reasons that I grow bored to the simple of idea and writing them down here, but it didn’t matter. Kristie would forget everything by morning and I could continue with my life.

“Here you are!” Derek said joining us as another wave crashed and let us dripping wet. “You’re crazy! You’ll get a flu”

“Stop being so killjoy and enjoy the rain” Kristie shouted as she stood and snatched a beer from Derek’s hands. “Where is your girl?”

“She is having fun with her friends” Replied casually.

“A lot of fun” Kristie observed.

Derek looked at me and I rolled my eyes.

“Come on beach! A bigger one!” She called out loudly.

Derek tugged his phone out “Here it comes!” He shouted. “The three of us, let’s go”

“What?” Allison and I said confused.

“Jump!” Derek called aloud

Kristie held my hand. I closed my eyes and let the rocky floor vanish beneath my feet as we heard a loud crash and we were sprayed by the warm and heavy drops that let us soaked wet.

“Let me see it!” Kristie said excited as she jumped over Derek to check the picture.

I looked at it and…Damn it was amazing.

“You won, dumbass!” I giggled as I punched in the arm and he gave me a sidelong glance.

We heard steps. Still laughing we turned and found the betches approaching us.

“Why are you making so much noise?” Liam asked curious as he hurried to approach Kristie to watch the picture.

“Wow! I haven’t see you in the whole night” I pointed a bit harshly when I saw a moody Tim setting next to me.

“I just…Needed some air” He mumbled.

_Yeah right._

“Done” Said his voice suddenly and I jerked my neck so hard that I literally hurt myself. _No._

There he was kneeling next to me with a mocking grin in his lips as he held his phone.

I swallowed, I screamed in my insides, and then looked at Kristie and saw the phone he offered me and I gasped and craved for air. My lungs were burning and my throat was scrappy. It didn’t matter how much I drank, the feeling would fade away. I couldn’t wait any longer. He was making fun of me. I couldn’t let him see how hurt I was, so I just smirked and snatched the phone from his hand and run.

…….

He couldn’t believe how mad he was. He couldn’t believe the things that Jack said and worst of all. He couldn’t believe he could give a shit about it.

It was so frustrating. Jim wanted to get back and kick Jack’s ass and make him feel at least a bit of the pain Jim was coming through. It was stupid but he felt cheated.

He wanted to go home. He didn’t care about the championship anymore. The way Jack swaggered as if he just scored the winning goal, was too much to bear.

 _Yeah, you’re such a man for cheating asshole._ Thought Jim fighting bitter tears back, and then he saw me…Coming from the dark side of the beach staring at the phone I carried with me.

He went to meet me.

“Betch…Are…Are you okay?” He said with some concern as he tried to stop me, but I was so overwhelmed that I ignored him.

He saw me look from right to left as if trying to find somewhere to hide. And there, at the right corner of the house, was a small dark spot beneath the kitchen’s window.

“What’s going on?” He asked scared as he put a hand on my arm and sat next to me.

“He fucked him”

“What?”

“Hip, he fucked Kyle”

Jim’s heart lurched. “What? How? Shit man! That’s…That’s great inside it?”

“Yeah” I nodded but of course he could tell I was lying.

“That’s the video?”

I nodded.

Without asking, Jim fingers went to the play button and it started.

Chuckles. That’s all we could hear, and then we saw some fabric of a T-shirt. _That doesn’t show anything_ Jim thought bored. It was clear they both were standing and kissing.

“That’s all?” Said Jim disappointed. He felt the moment I held my breath and shut up.

A pair of hands flew down as they started to unbuckle Hips belt. With every second our heartbeats grew louder and louder until they overpowered their giggles and we couldn’t tell which was whose.

Now the hands zipped Hip’s jeans down and the fell quickly to show his cock as the hands started playing with it. We saw his chin as they kissed and then the play below. His stubble as Hip licked his neck.

Then he went down and we both gasped.

It wasn’t Kyle.

Before I could react Jim snatched the phone from my hands with a buzzing in his ears and the dizziness product of the all the things he lived that night along with alcohol that clouded his senses.

He heard my voice calling after him in his back, but he ignored me. He had no chance to discuss what we saw.

Run on sand was hard and required all his strength to keep going even when he felt he didn’t go forth after all, but he did, because at some point he stumbled with someone and fell.

“James! Are you okay?” Said Kyle helping Jim stand up.

“Kyle!” He heard me say happily at his back.

Jim spun right at time to see me throw my arms at Kyle’s neck and hugged him with all my strength.

“Wow…Wow…Are you drunk?”

“Yes! No! I’m…I’m just happy to see you!”

Jim rolled his eyes.

“Well I should go more often”

“Where were you? Kristie and I were looking for you”

And said so Jim understood where Kyle had been the past hour.

“I was looking for my friend Garret. The coach always wants to keep an eye on him and since someone forgot to bring him here, we got to wait until the coach went to sleep”

 _Shit. Garret._ “Garret…I’m so sorry I forgot, and I…”

Garret looked at him with some disappointment but shook his head. “It’s fine. I know I’m not that fun to hang out with”

“Don’t say that!” Jim grunted. “I’ll…” He looked around and then found him at the top of the stairs and his heart lurched. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise”

“James you don’t…”

“I promise, everything will be better from now on, just wait here. Okay?”

Kyle and Garret looked at Jim as if he was crazy, but he had no time for make excuses, he just ran I went after him.

As soon as he saw us his lips curved up in a grin that Jim wiped with a hit.

Paul fall on his back. Jim turned to me but he didn’t say anything. I was already dragging him at the farthest corner of the veranda, where no one could see us.

“Let me go!” He fought all the way trying to break free.

Jim made me signs and I released him when we were safely away from everyone’s eyes.

Paul stood quickly spitting blood and tried to punch Jim in the face but Jim dodged.

“You better stay quiet” Jim warned as he tugged the phone out of his pocket and played the video again at Paul’s face.

His face paled and the turned bright red as he threw lunged after Jim and I made him fall with my feet.

His jaw met the ground and Jim snorted. “I wouldn’t try to do anything if I were you” He warned as he reached the phone with his finger and pointed at the share button. “It would take half a minute for everyone now that you’re a faggot” Jim roared.

“Do it and you I’ll kick your ass and all your friends’”

Jim and I chuckled.

“Seems pretty fair to me. Don’t you think?” I said arching a brow toward Jim.

Jim nodded. “Yeah. You kick our asses and we will forget it like in two weeks”

“I wanna see your friends forget how tasty you found that cock” I laughed devilishly.

Jim cracked in laughs too. “Yeah. I doesn’t matter what you do Pualy. Once people know, there will be a jackass making your life miserable every day or your life for being a faggot”

Paul stared shaking and fought to break free. I put a foot on his back and pinned him to the floor.

Paul growled as I kneeled and knotted his hands at his back.

“What do you want?” He demanded defeated.

“You will leave me and Garret alone. And you will tell the coach what a good player Garret is and that you’re not feeling well because you got drunk tonight and you think Garret will do a better job than you in the field”

“You’re crazy if you think that….”

“Okay, let’s share the video then” Jim snapped and tapped the share button.

“Wait…” Paul begged and it was music for Jim’s ears.

“Yeah?” Jim asked innocently.

“Okay. I’ll do it” He grunted without daring to look at Jim at his eyes. “But you have to delete the video”

“I’ll do it” Jim affirmed.

I released Paul and he gasped and stood.

Jim could see the fear in his eyes and nothing ever looked more beautiful to him in his life.

“Someday”

Paul balled his hand but nodded. “Okay”

He looked down to pass by Jim but I stopped him. “Wait”

“What else you want?” He asked me furious.

“Lick his lips. Faggot”

Jim looked at me startled for a second and then grinned.

And that’s how our project claimed its first victim.

 


	4. STAY WAY FROM HIM PART I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry It became larger than expected and had to split in two chapters.

## STAY WAY FROM HIM PART I

 

Making that guy Paul lick Jim’s shoes made us feel powerful. For the first time in a while we felt like we were under control, and it was priceless. We laughed and drank and laughed for hours about it until Derek ended up holding me while I puked in the bathroom, but it didn’t matter. It worth it.

Morning came too fast. I don’t know at what point everyone left, but I slept maybe three, four hours? I’m not sure. I got mixed memories of that night, but what really matters here, is that before the sun was up someone shook my shoulder.

I opened my eyes groggily and found Derek staring at me with perky eyes. It is funny how the blue in them was even brighter in dim mornings like that one.

I parted my lips to speak but the stench of alcohol mixed with mints overwhelmed me and almost made run to the bathroom again.

“So…You’re still drunk, don’t you?”

I rolled my eyes and chuckled a bit. “I’m not drunk Kyle”

He glared at me. “Do you even know who am I?”

  1. “Yes Derek, I’m just half asleep. Cut it off” I groaned as I tossed to get back to sleep.



“Get out of bed we got work to do” He mumbled and then I recalled that Liam was next to me and noticed that Jim was missing.

“Where is Jim? And what work we got to do?”  

“He left half an hour ago. He probably is getting ready for the game”

 _The game._ I thought with tiredness. If Jim and his team won that game they would be automatically in the finals. It was exciting, though a bit discouraging for me. I didn’t want to get out of bed in at least ten days. My head was killing me and the world swayed a bit around me.

“Why are you here anyway? Allison threw you out?” I joked closing my eyes again.

Derek took me by the ankle and drew me out of bed. “You lost our competition. Remember?”

  1. “I thought we were just joking”



“I wasn’t” He affirmed.

“Oh come on Derek. I’m not feeling…”

“Everyone is as wasted as you are, but they still got to eat. You too. Now get up”

I cursed in my insides and stood to glare at him.

He crested his brow. “Why are you wearing lipstick?”

I arched a brow. “What?”

“Um…There” He drew a circle in the air around my lips.

I ran to the bathroom and turned on the lights while he came in after me cracking in laughs.

I squinted at my reflection in the mirror. _Jim._ Thought with bitterness.

After kicking Derek out of the bathroom, brushed my teeth and wiped the lipstick from my lips thought I must admit that that color suited me well. Never mind, I bathed with some cold water and even when I was freezing and wanted to scream my lungs out, it helped me to wash my hangover at least a bit. Still, I wanted to get back to bed.

Derek was waiting in the kitchen with a bowl filled with vegetables.

I chuckled when I saw him. “Are you sure about this?”

“Stiles come on! It will be fun” He said happily as he threw an onion to me and I caught it in the last minute before it broke my nose. “Don’t you remember what a good time we had the last time you tried to cook?”

“You had a good time. I just screwed things up as usual” I recalled rolling my eyes. _Shut up, he wants to spend time with you._

“You lost, deal with it”

“What will happen when everyone eats what I cooked? They will certainly try to kill me, if my food doesn’t kill them first”

“I’ll help you” He affirmed grinning.

I sighed. “How can you be in such good mood by morning” I grunted.

“I don’t know” He chuckled. “I think you were right. We needed this”

“What? Wake up early?”

He shook his head. “I’m talking about Sunset Valley, about get well away from home, college, family. Have some time to clear our minds and enjoy our time together. It is our last summer after all”

It stung. It stung more than it did when I said those same words three days ago. It stung even harder when he said it. I knew we still got a year left, but now it was real, like a monster growing with every passing second. It never mattered much, we always had time, there were always many more years ahead, but I didn’t realize how quick that gap was shrinking until Derek and I walked away from each other in that hanging cord over a volcano.

Now I understood everything. Derek knew that our time together was slipping away. He wanted to spend as much time together as we could.

“Alright, I’ll cook, but you’ll help me”

“I’ll tell you what to do”

“Whatever”

He wanted me to start with something simple. Well, he thought it was simple. I never made an omelet in my whole life, mostly because I hate it, but hey. Chef Yancey was the one giving the orders, either way I wouldn’t risk to eat anything cooked by myself, so I started following his instructions in silence.

The beach house’s kitchen. Two minutes later.

“I said to slice them thin!” He grunted.

“They are thin! They are so thing they got fucking bulimia!” I roared throwing one of the Tomato slices at his head.

He ducked. “Don’t do that!”

“It’s not my fault your myopia got worse”

He rolled his eyes and took off his glasses. “I’m serious”

“Derek!” I complained. “I’m not good at this. We both know that at the end you will have to cook again, so why…”

“Because next time you cook for Kyle, you’ll do it yourself. I’m serious, I won’t help you”

“I’m not planning on cooking for him again” I affirmed as I boohooed while he put another tomato in front of me.

“Really? Then why Kristie told me what a good cooker you were last night?”

 _Crap._ I should have started calling her noisy Kirstie.

“I…”

“You are still telling lies”

“It wasn’t a lie. It just…Forgot to tell them that I still didn’t know how to cook”

“Cut” He ordered. “And slimmer this time’

I gripped the tomato between my thumb and index and poked it with the knife’s tip.

“Don’t squish so hard” He started “Cut them slimmer” Muttered when I was halfway. “I said slimmer”

“I can’t go beyond that! I’m gonna chop my fingers off”

“Stop being so whiny about it, nothing bad is going to happen” He complained.

“But…” I continued but stopped halfway. He was right, my tomatoes’ slices were so fat they probably got diabetes. I let the knife in the counter and spun to get back to my room.

“You’re not going anywhere” He chuckled yanking me by the arm.

“Derek. I’m not…”

He put the knife in my hands again and stood behind me taking my hand with his to guide it through the process. Too quick for my eyes, but not for my hands, he started slaughtering the vegetables in the bowl using my hand.

“I’m doing it! I’m doing it!” I laughed as we finished our first tomato.

“Now the onion”

He took it with his free hand and put it in the table. I started to slice this time, and even when his hand was still over mine, it was me who was moving it.

“I’m happy to see that you’re fine. I guess I underestimated you” He suddenly said. His breath making the hair in the back of my neck stand still.

“Come one Derek, it is just food. Just because I suck at it doesn’t meant that I…”

“I’m talking about Kyle. Cass told me that Matty slept with him”

I froze for a second and my heart started throbbing. I swallowed and continued cutting.

“So…”

“He didn’t sleep with Kyle. It was a misunderstanding. Hip rarely hangs out with us and he didn’t meet Kyle as the others did”

“So… With who he slept then?”

I continued slicing the onions and tomatoes biting my tongue to avoid yelling anything at him. How he could think I would be down if Kyle slept with whoever he wanted? Shit! I hated him for knowing me that well!

“He sleep with one of the guys in Jim’s team”

He held his breath. “Wow!”

“Yeah, it is not a big deal” I affirmed with clenched teeth.

“They aren’t slim again” He complained and tightened his grip of his hand in mine to guide me again.

“I don’t…” Ok I couldn’t contain myself. “You think I have feelings for Kyle?” I said glad he was right behind me so he couldn’t see my face.

“I…”

“Forget it okay? It was stupid to ask”

“Stiles! You got pretty upset when Matty suggested that he might sleep with him”

“Yeah? Well. He didn’t do it at the end, and know I have to, but it doesn’t mean I’ll enjoy it” _Much._

He didn’t say anything but didn’t move his hand either, so I let go from him and turned on my heels.

He arched a brow. “You’re going to sleep with him?”

I shook my head. “I…I don’t know. Kristie wants me to, but I don’t think that…”

Derek blinked once, twice, then frowned. “Kristie asked you to sleep with her boyfriend?”

I looked down and nodded.

“Why? Is she insane?”

“She thinks he is gay and…”

“She thinks Kyle is gay? Then what the hell is she doing with him?”

“I don’t know Derek, I guess she thinks he is bisexual or pansexual, or just sexual. I don’t care what I…”

“What the hell is a pansexual?” He frowned.

“It doesn’t matter. She is crazy! She asked me last night to sleep with Kyle and I couldn’t convince that I can’t do it, but she wouldn’t listen”

“So…You’re going to do it?”

I couldn’t look at him in the eyes, so I just nodded glancing at my feet. “I guess that if I have my chance, it would be good for the project”

I didn’t need to look up to know that he was shaking his head. “You’re not doing it for the project. You just want to have sex with him. Stiles, Kristie and you can’t go sleeping with people just to know if they are straight or not”

“But…”

“I’m serious. Maybe he is gay, maybe he is not but you just can’t force him to come out of the closet when you don’t even know if he knows what you think he knows”

“What?”

Yeah. What?

He sighed and grabbed me by the chin to force me look at him in the eye.

“Stiles, Neither of you are sure of anything. You can’t make experiments with him like he was a rat. People needs time to figure out this things by themselves. Maybe he has always been gay, or bisexual, or spoonsexual, or whatever. Or maybe he is not sure yet, or maybe he will know it next week or in ten years, but it is up to him and not you to figure it out. Do you understand?”

I nodded looking away. It didn’t matter, Kyle wouldn’t sleep with me anyway. Gay or not. “I didn’t know you liked him now”

He sighed losing his patience. “After you told me what he said about you? I hate him! But that’s a serious thing and you shouldn't be messing with it, or Kyle won’t be the only one hurt in the end, but Kirstie and you too”

I chugged.

“What are you doing?” I heard Allison’s voice say from behind me. And I recalled the awkward position in which Derek and I stood.

I turned and kept slicing the onions. “I’m making breakfast. I hope you woke up with a death wish” I joked pretending that I just hadn’t have a pretty bad arguing with Derek.

“I thought you would sleep more considering how late you went to bed” Derek pointed out, reaching her to kiss her temple.

Allison yawned. “I woke up and couldn’t find you”

“You should get more rest, it is pretty early and you still look drunk” I pointed out finishing the last onion to start with the eggs.

“No. I better stay up. I don’t want to miss this” She said with a devilish grin.

“Who knows? Maybe he will make you eat your words” Derek joked, but I could see in his eyes that he was still mad at me.

…….

He hadn’t tell Garret yet. He wanted it to be a surprise. However, he would have liked to practice a bit before the game to work on Garret’s dribbling, but instead of taking them to their training place, the coach made them attend to the game before theirs.

The man was pretty much convinced that they would win that day’s game. Which made Jim feel anxious because he didn’t want to screw things up. He wanted to meet their competition for the finals, so there they were.

The hawks against the alligators.

Jim lost interest in the first half. He found a place between Garret and Aidan because he really didn’t want to talk to Jack. Yet, the former captain kept craning his neck toward him every two minutes as if checking that Jim hadn’t left.

Paul was pretty silent that day. Which was just delightful. Everyone noticed it at once and Jim couldn’t be more pleased. Kev kept asking him what was going on with him. Paul just sent a quick glance at Jim and then shook his head.

Just for the record. We didn’t care about Paul. So don’t even dare to feel sorry for him. He was a motherfucker and he totally deserved what we did to him.

The previous night had been crazy and even when Jim enjoyed his revenge even more than I did, he couldn’t stop thinking about what Jack did and said in the party.

The way his eyes shone with despise, how he took Jim by the waist as if he was his property and his arm blocking the door while he leaned until their lips were at scarce inches from each other.

It was too much to bear and harder to even understand. Even when he didn’t want to admit the betches’ theory of Jack falling for him. He got to admit that all the signs pointed at it.

He thought Jack was going to kiss him, but Jim was happy he didn’t let himself go, because well, you know how things ended and that was what made everything so stressing for him. He could swear that Jack…

Kissed that girl just make him feel jealous.

The hawks played fiercely. Jim knew from the moment the game started that they would beat the alligators and he wasn’t wrong. In the first half they scored three times against none. It was more than obvious that if the wolves won that game, they would have to face them the next day and he was afraid that they might not be good enough to win.

When the referee blew the whistle to announce the end of the first half. The coach called them to discuss what they just saw.

Aidan started exchanging strategies with Kyle while the rest listened carefully, so Jim took his chance to get to the hot dogs guy and get one. He was starving. Yet, he didn’t make it far.

Jack was already pulling from his sleeve like a stubborn little boy.

“What?” Asked Jim when he turned on his heels and cursed the knot in his stomach.

Jack’s eyes were down. They were swollen and got enormous bags bellow them. His hair was a bit tousled and by the way he grimaced, Jim was pretty sure the sun and his head were killing him.

 _Good._ He thought.

“I…Want to talk to you”

“It can wait” Jim replied bitterly.

Jack shook his head. “I would rather it to be sooner than later”

Jim rolled his eyes. “Fine, talk”

“Not here” He made signs to Jim to follow him and with clenched teeth Jim climbed down the stairs until they came out of the bleachers and they stopped in the left side of them while the whistle of the second half was blown.

“What is he doing here?” Beverly’s voice said at once they met with her.

“This? Seriously?” Jim grunted.

“I want to talk with both of you, now listen”

Jim and Beverly rolled their eyes and glared at Jack who cleared his throat.

“I…Want to explain a couple of things. First of all. The three of us know that I forgot your birthday” He said looking at Beverly embarrassed. “So, there is no need to pretend that what happened yesterday was my idea, but James’”

“We all know that he…” Beverly began to rant but Jack cut her short.

“It was his idea Bev, but…He didn’t mean to do any harm to you. He just wanted to help me”

She arched a brow. “How can you be so stupid? Don’t you see what’s going on here?”

“But why are you so mad? What’s the matter if I tried to make you a birthday party?” Said Jim losing his patience.

“You did it just to make fun of me” She growled.

“Why? Do you hate parties or something?”

“You know why. Don’t play the fool with me. I’m not six”

“No. You’re twenty five” Jim reminded her with a smile.

She almost threw herself onto him but Jack caught her in the air.

“Can you please stop this? This is ridiculous. James tried to do something nice for both of us and avoid an arguing because I forgot your birthday Bev, he doesn’t know anything else” Jack lied looking away. “All I want you both to understand, is that you two are very important for me and I would like for you to get alone again as you used”

 _When did we get alone?_ Jim thought amused. “I’m…Sorry Bev. I guessed I should have asked you first before making a surprise party” He said listlessly.

She glared at him.

“Beverly”

The girl folded her arms and pouted her lips. She stared at Jim in silence for half a minute and then her eyes popped wide open. “Hey!” She called loudly at someone at Jim’s back and without saying anything else she passed by them pushing Jim with her shoulder and joined a couple of girls that were some feet away.

Jack sighed. “I’m…”

Jim turned on his heels and left.

“Wait”

“What?” Jim asked irate.

“Why are…”

“What the hell was all that Jack?”

“I just…”

“This is so stupid” Jim laughed. “Seriously, I don’t understand the reason of all this. She hates me, and now she isn’t my favorite person in the world either. Deal with it”

Jack nodded. “I’m sorry”

“Yeah. Whatever”

“I’m talking about last night. About the things I said to you, of how I acted. Thanks for not telling Bev”

“I don’t care…What do I need to do to make you understand that I can’t give less a crap about it?”

“Then why…?”

“I doesn’t matter Jacky. Just let me go” Jim sighed turning on his heels again.

“No! I can’t. I just…I don’t understand why suddenly everything gets in the middle of Bev and me as if…”

“No one is trying to ruin your wedding Jacky. Just you”

Jack gaped. “How can you say…?”

“You forgot her birthday, you left her alone, and you got drunk and kissed that girl”

“Why....Why are mad at me?”

Jim snorted and arched a suggestive brow.

Jack’s face gloomed. “What…What happened to us? Three days ago everything worked fine between us, and now this place…”

 _It’s Bev. It’s you. It’s me, I guess._ “Nothing has changed Jack, just stop acting like a victim”

Jack nodded. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things last night”

“There is nothing to do about it. You said them already”

“Can you…”

“Yeah I forgive you, can you please forget it? I’m growing bored of this” Jim grunted.

Jack smiled and nodded.

Jim balled his hands and went back to the bleachers while Jack followed him.  

…….

Two hours later, Derek was still mad at me. Apparently it didn’t matter that I told him that I wasn’t still sure if I would sleep with Kyle or not. Either way, I was madder at him for not being smart enough to figure out that I wouldn’t probably get the chance to sleep with Kyle, or any other human being.

Sometimes…I just wanted to smack Derek in the head.

“Everybody get your asses out of the beds” I grunted knocking the doors as I passed by them.

I know it wasn’t my job, and if I was in their place I would be cursing me too, but I couldn’t understand how they could expect to spend their day in bed when one of their best friends was about to face one of his most important games in the year.

“Morning” I heard Greg said at my back when he opened Freddy’s and his room.

“Morning?” I arched a brow at him. “It is almost lunch time. Wake up Freddy. Time’s up”

He sighed and went in again.

“Get up!” I continued knocking the doors intently until I heard any kind of answer from inside.

“Let them be. We still got one hour before the game starts” Derek said showing up suddenly.

“One hour, six butts, three bathrooms. Do the math nerd” I replied bitterly without looking at him.

“I can’t believe it” He joked. “You’re…Concerned about Jimmy”

I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah. I think they call it friendship” I said wryly.

“It’s fine. He will be alright” He affirmed nodding.

“So…You’re not mad at me, anymore?” I arched a brow.   

He shook his head. “Nah. I know you’ll do the right thing”

_Emotional blackmail. How smart of you._

I heard a knock in one of the doors, and Derek and I exchanged glances. That didn’t make any sense.

We heard it again and then, Derek snorted. “I think it is the front door”

We went to the door and found Mya and her friend Grace.

 _Damn it._  

“Hey boys. How are your heads?” Mya asked with a smile.

“Hey. Is nice to see you both, but we’re in kind of a hurry right now so if you don’t…”

“Hey! You came!” Allison said at our backs now.

We turned and found her dressed very sporty.

“Are…You going anywhere?” Derek suggested.

Allison blinked. “Yeah, we’re going on a hike by the hills. I told you last night”

“I don’t remember” Derek admitted embarrassed.

“I didn’t expect you would. You were busy holding Stiles while he puked” She pointed out a bit upset.

_Shit. She had to say it aloud?_

“So…Aren’t you coming?” Mya asked looking at Derek who wore too casual clothes for a hike.

“Are you going now?” I asked shocked. “But Allison…The game will start in an hour”

“Wasn’t it later?” She frowned.

I shook my head.

She chewed her bottom lip. “Damn. Well, I guess we will miss it”

“It’s okay, we can…” Mya suggested.

“Oh come on! I haven’t see you in years. Jimmy will be fine. He won’t even notice and we aren’t that close either”

Derek just looked at them talk.

“What about you?” Mya stared at Derek and me.

“He will kill me if I don’t go. Sorry” I replied with a smile while I thanked that I couldn’t really go.

Derek looked a bit troubled. He knew pretty well, how boring it was to spend time with Allison and her friends the night before, and even when he wouldn’t admit it in a million years, he was concerned about Jim too.

“I think…”

“Leave it. Stiles won’t give him permission anyway” Allison joked but I wasn’t laughing at all.

“I guess I’ll see you guys later” Mya said casually.

Derek and I nodded. “Definitely”

They just left, without saying anything else. I was a bit mad at Allison for letting Jim down for going on a hike with her friends, but I could understand her in some way. Mya used to be her best friend in the world, and they lost contact for many years.

Would it be that way for Derek and me when college was over? Would we grow apart?

I think we both were thinking the same, because we turned at the same time and faced each other with slight grimaces.

“You’re right” I muttered. “I’m sorry”

He laughed.

“What?” I said a bit mad, a bit amused.

“Nothing. Let’s go”

He joined me knocking on the doors.

When I went to Cass and Tim’s room, the last one opened almost instantly. He still bore that annoying troubled look on his face and the stench of alcohol was even worse than mine’s that morning.

“Cass is bathing, we’re on our way” He grunted.

“Are you still mad because….” I was saying, but he cut me short.

“What? No!” He forced a laugh, but I knew him too much. Tim wasn’t the kind of sharing more information than needed and suddenly he started blabbing about a hot club in Sunset town he just found out about and planned on going with Cass.

I just nodded while he kept talking, but wasn’t paying much attention really. My mind was with Jim, Allison and Liam who I didn’t know if was awake or not.

“Just, make sure you go after the game. Alright?” I said stubbornly while I left him there to go wake Liam.

He needed help. What the hell had Cass being doing last night not to notice that Tim needed him?

Never mind. I wished I had time. I definitely needed to find time, but Jim was first.

When I entered the room. Liam was already getting dressed.

“Morning sweetie” He winked at me.

“Wow! At least someone in this house is on good mood” I grinned.

“We need to. That betch needs us” He affirmed, and then my room’s bathroom door swum open and Hip came out of it naked from the waist up.

I arched a brow. “What are you doing here?”

He swaggered in. “Oh sorry. Denisse was showering in my room and I don’t…”

“Denisse?”

“A girl I met last night”

“Oh. Alright, get ready, we’re running out of time”

He nodded. “Of course, just…I’m sorry for breaking in and using your stuffs without asking”

I stopped short half-way to the door. “My stuffs?”

“Your, bathroom, your shower. You know. Kyle.” He said innocently and then I turned and saw his eyes shining with triumph.

I couldn’t contain my laughter, so I let it out loudly. “Excuse me? That guy? That wasn’t Kyle, he was Paul!”

He paled and oh god! Oh much I enjoyed it.

“But…I saw you sitting next to him last night. I thought…”

“Yeah, but you picked the guy in the wrong side”

“He was making jokes and you were laughing”

“He is not Kyle, Hip. But it doesn’t matter. I don’t need you to do anything anymore”

“No wait, but I…”

“No. You got your change and you screwed things up! Now, just forget about it okay?”

Hip glared at me and put on his pants quickly to storm out of the room.

“He was trying to make you feel jealous” Liam pointed out looking at me openmouthed.

“Yeah, tell me something I don’t know” I rolled my eyes.

An hour later. We got our places in the bleachers in the side of Oakwood’s crowd when Kristie showed up and sat next to me.

“Are you ready?” She winked at me.

“I’m sure they are going to do it fine”

“I’m not talking about the game” She giggled.

“Oh my god Kristie! I thought you said that because you were drunk” I pointed out.

She shook her head. “Hey Derek” She said kissing his cheek when he sat next to me and handled me a coke.

“Hi” Derek replied with a smirk.

Kristie blinked and looked around without casually as if looking for someone. Yet, she didn’t ask for Allison, I guess she knew Allison wouldn’t show up.

It was just me, or suddenly things were tense everywhere?

“It started” Derek said thrilled pointing at the field as the crow when up and stared cheering.

“Oh my god! Are you feeling well?” I said laughing as I put my palm on his forehead. “I’d swear I saw you excited about soccer”

Kristie and I chuckled.

“I like it, sometimes”

“Hey! Save me a place!” I saw Alan coming up from the staircase in the middle of the bleachers.

I waved at him and put my drink in the place next to me.

I glanced at the grass right when Kyle walked in followed by the rest of the team and I cheered along with the rest of Oakwood’s fans.

Kyle turned toward us and nodded.

When they met Portland’s lions in the middle of the field. The referee blew his whistle and it started.

“What’s the fuck?” Kristie said frowning.

“What?” I replied noticing that some of the guys in Jim’s team didn’t move and instead of playing got their eyes in the bleachers in front of us.

“There!” Kristie grunted.

I looked to the Lions bleachers’ side and gasped.

Many people got signs supporting their team or asking them to kill the wolves, but there was one that was on the wolves’ side, well kind of.

It said. ‘You can do it Oakwood’s fag” and was being held by Jack’s girl and two other girls.

With the confusion produced by the sign, the lions took their chance to get their first score.

…….

Jim cursed and looked around furious. He wasn’t sure what made him feel worse, if Beverly’s stupid prank, the fact that the lions just scored, or that the coach didn’t listen to Paul when he said he wasn’t feeling well.

He wanted to kick someone.

A guy. Preferably one that looked pretty much like Beverly. That would make him feel better without any doubts.

He looked back. Jack’s face was bright red as Jim’s probably was, also Kyle got the ball now and was struggling with a couple of lions that came after him.

The referee blew his whistle loudly.

It stung Jim’s ears and he spun furious to see the reason why the game had been stopped.

It was Paul.

He was puking his lungs out right in the middle of the field, where everyone was staring intently.

Many approached him with concern, but as soon as Kev put a hand on his shoulder, he jerked as if he just received an electric shock. Looked around with mad eyes and ran away from the playing field.

A Jim’s left the coach was cursing and throwing his hat to the grass angrily.   

It was crazy.

No, it was worse than that.

They were going to lose.

“Come on! Faggot! Play!” Beverly’s voice echoed from above. Jim wasn’t sure how he managed to listen to it considering the storm of voices that swept them from all directions.

It wasn’t just overwhelming.

It was unfair.

He wouldn’t let her ruin his day, he wouldn’t lose because of her or the hundreds of voices that now joined her chanting.

He felt a pat in his back. He didn’t need to turn to now it wasn’t Jack. Jack’s hands were bigger and gentler. This one was clumsy and short.

“You’re ready?” Jim grinned with excitement without turning.

“You think we can do it? They are already ahead” Garret pointed out with concern.

“Then we have to play better than we have before”

“Okay”

The whistle was blown again and they ran.

Jim passed the lions by their side like a lightning. He was in the middle, Aidan at his left and Garret at his right.

Kyle took the ball from the lions’ captain with such effort that Jim felt his guts squirm. These guys were good. Tara was right. But it didn’t matter.

They were better.

Kyle passed the ball to Jack, who lost it and recovered it twenty seconds later, they approached the goal and before the keeper had a chance to react Kyle scored.

The crowd went mad.

Jim grinned at patted Kyle’s back while he turned and made signs to Garret and Aidan to stay close.

Beverly kept making her awful chants as the poor bitchleader she was deep inside. 

Jim detached his eyes from her and the ball came flying. He hit it with his head and Garret kicked.

The shouts and cheers came even louder from Oakwood’s bleachers.

He felt calmer now, they were going to make it.

When they resumed the game he quickly robbed the ball from the lion who got it and passed it to Aidan.

Aidan flew in the field with his long and fast legs to approach the goal. He tripped over a sidekick that came from the lions’ captain.

Jim focused on the guys that came after him and tried to reach the ball, but it was too far from him. The lion was about to deliver it to their goalkeeper when Jack came out of the blue and shot.

The goalkeeper sent the ball flying and Kyle stopped it with his chest. Jim darted next to him and when the lions surrounded Kyle, it was just a child’s game for Jim to take the ball. A sidekick came from his right, he jumped and bumped the ball with his knee. Passed it to Aidan who was rapidly addressed by more lions, so he had to make contact with Garret at his left.

The boy took it but he couldn’t stand a chance to shoot from his positing, instead and sent the ball to Jim and without thinking twice scored.

Everyone cheered. Jim was breathless, the sun was blinding him, the dryness in his mouth made him feel extra tired and all his body was damp with sweat. Yet, he never felt better in his life.

He jumped and laughed and ran around. Bowed to the crowd while Garret hugged him crazy with happiness.

They spun to face Beverly with the biggest smiles and the girl made an obscene gesture to him as she rose her sign again to chant, but instead of crying aloud how dumb she was she shrieked hysterically as Kristie’s soda sprayed all over the face.

They tried to resume the game, but the riot grew when some girls tried to join Kristie.

Jim saw me and Derek approaching to take Kristie back with us.

Somewhere near Jim, Kyle shouted furiously and more and more people joined the fight.

Now the lions and the wolves didn’t fight just in the field but also in the bleachers. Apparently the Lion’s fans believed that Beverly was one of them because they were defending her as best as they could as half Oakwood was stepping up for Kristie.

I know this is inappropriate, but isn’t a fans fight in the middle of game the proof that you’re a badass soccer’s star?

Back to the game. Well, the fight….Kyle tried to get out of the playing field, but got a warning from the referee, who was more interested in watching the fight than resuming the game.

In another universe. Jack was standing still with his face blank awaiting for the game to resume. Of course Jim didn’t have any kind of superpower, but…He could swear he felt Jack’s rage swarming in the field

This wasn’t good. They needed Jack and Kyle to win, and also…Well, Jim felt kind of responsible. Kristie was in the middle of a fight for defending him and she would probably get in trouble because of it.

 He wasn’t sure, how he ever thought he didn’t like Kristie.

Someone took them out. Actually, that someone took many people out. Most of them lions.

After things chilled a bit, the referee resumed the game, and as Jim expected Jack and Kyle couldn’t focus in the game and after the lions almost scored and the coach shouted obscenities unknown even for Jim, he stopped short and looked around. It was his moment to get in charge.

Even when Aidan was a good player, he wasn’t a leader. He liked better to stay in the shadows and attack in the best possible moment.

Garret wasn’t very good at dribbling, but his kicks were unstoppable, therefor, Jim would have to take Kyle’s place.

He couldn’t explain how, but it wasn’t the first time he felt that kind of bond with the two of them. Almost every time in training when they had to face Jack and Kyle in the field they became a dream team, and that’s exactly what they were know.

Kyle and Jack kept trying, but they sucked badly. Even when Jim was concerned about Kristie and me, he knew that they needed to win so things wouldn’t be that bad when the game ended and they went after Kristie and Beverly.

So he focused, and won.

The wolves beaten the lions five against two.

They made it to the finals.

…….

You got to mess things pretty badly to get your picture outside a playing field with an inscription below reading _“Not allowed in”_

“I looked gorgeous” Kristie cracked in laughs when I opened the door of the beach house to let Derek carrying her suitcase.

I was a bit mad. Thought not at Kristie, neither to the guys in the championship’s security for banning me, but because of Jack’s girlfriend. She was a real bitch. I couldn’t believe what she did to Jim. Also, I was a bit disappointed because even when he heard that the wolves won, we wouldn’t be able to watch the finals tomorrow because of that trouble maker.

“I hadn’t laugh so hard in my life in ages” Derek pointed out letting the suite case in the living room. “Why she looked like she was choking?”

“I shoved my straw right up her nose” Kristie chuckled.

I rolled my eyes. “You could get yourself in real trouble”

Her expression changed for a more serious one. “Yeah, sorry for get you guys involved. I’m just…She is a bitch. I can’t believe she did that to pretty face”

“How are you so sure it was because of him?” I asked casually while Paul’s face crossed my mind. 

“Oh come on Stily, she hates him. You can see by the way she looks at Jack when he looks at him”

“Yeah, I guess she is just jealous” Derek agreed.

“Wait. Am I missing something?” I said looking at both of them puzzled.

“I noticed it, at school when you were outside Jimmy’s car. She doesn’t like him much, and by the way that guy Jack threats Jimmy…I guess he she knows”

Damn. How he went to those conclusions.

Kristie nodded and I just stared at them with a blank face. Of course I knew what the betches thought about Jim and Jack, and I had my own thoughts in the matter, but I…Didn’t realize they were that obvious.

Kristie snapped suddenly. “I know! We should make a plan! To make them break up and get Pretty face and my coz together!” She said excited.

“Kristie…” I started a bit tired as I sat in the couch. “Don’t you think you got enough emotions for one day?”

“Are you insane? This is our chance!”

“If Jack is marrying him, you shouldn’t get in the middle, it is his choice and…I don’t think he feels you know, that way for Jimmy”

She looked at me openmouthed, Derek sat next to me and put a hand on my arm as if saying _“I’m proud of you”._

“Of course he is. I’m her cousin. I know him. He is in love with pretty face”

I sighed losing my patience, though…A bit shocked inside. Could she…Be right? Though, in other hand. She also thought that Kyle was gay and wanted me to have sex with him. It was better to take her crazy ideas too seriously, or we could have ended up in another mess. “We should stay low profile now. I’ll be back in a minute a need to wash this”

She squinted. “Oh, right” Chewed her bottom lip. “Let me take a look at that”

She took me by the chin with her hand and reveal the gash in the left side of my face.

“I think you might need so stiches” She pointed out shifting in her seat to open her suitcase and tug a bag out.

She opened it and took some alcohol, cotton balls and stiches that looked pretty frightening.

“I think, I would better go to the hospital” I said with shaky voice.

Oh my god! I can’t believe I said that, considering how much I hated those places. Thank god I never had to go to any.

She snorted. “Relax. I’m a nurse”

Said so she moistened the cotton ball with alcohol and softly cleaned the gash on my cheekbone.

I grimaced as the itching below my eye started and then frowned. “Are you seriously a nurse?”

“Don’t move” She nodded.

“Then…Why are you going to sell pizzas instead of working in a hospital?”

She put the blooded cotton ball in a trash bag between her tights and drew another. “I…It’s not same Stily, there is way too much difference between cleaning a cheek than accidentally causing someone’s death”

Derek snorted. “You’re overreacting. You wouldn’t be alone there”

“Yeah, I don’t feel ready. It is like too much responsibility”

I rolled my eyes. “Then, why in the hell did you study for being a nurse if you won’t take a job on it”

She chuckled. “My dad is rich Stily. I just studied to not stay bored at home, though…Well, I guess that I don’t have money anymore now that…”

I felt a bit sorry for her. Now I recalled how much messed things were in her life lately, and yet there she was with a steady hand cleaning my wounds and smiling to hide the world the ones she had inside.

“Ready. You’re lucky it wasn’t deep. You won’t need stiches” She shoved her hands in her bag again and then smiled at me. “Here is your bandage my brave knight” She kissed my good check and covered the wound in the other with the bandage.

“Why you travel with half an ER in your suitcase if you don’t like it anyway?” Derek asked amused.

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it. Actually, I have a lot of fun taking care of Kyle after his games” Her smile faded a bit.

“I…Can talk to him” I offered.

We still hadn’t see Kyle, but let’s face, of course we both knew he would beyond mad, considering what Kristie did, and the fact that she got banned from the rest of the championship and kicked from the hotel.

She shook her head. “It’s fine. I can sort things by myself”

“I’ll take your suitcase to my room. You can share it with Allison” Derek added with sympathy. 

“Thanks, but I’ll be find in the couch” She grinned.

“Of course not” Derek affirmed like a charming gentlemen. “You are our guest”

She looked a bit troubled, but also embarrassed for rejecting Derek’s offering after we offered her a place to spend the night. “Thanks guys”

“You should think about working on a hospital, you could use the money until you sort things out with your dad” I advised.

She chugged. “I guess I can think about it” Muttered not too convinced.

…….

The coach slammed the table of the locker room and turned toward them furious.

“Where the hell are Paul and Kyle?” He demanded with a scary look on his eyes.

Jim scanned the room. They were nowhere to be seen, which is weird since Kyle was trudging behind him in his way there.

No one said a thing. The air was too tense to attempt anything, even Kev got his mouth shut.

“We…Won” Garret stuttered.

“Did we?” The man grunted. “Then why does it feel like we didn’t?”

“I…” Garret began but Jim stamped on his feet to make him shut up.

“Jackson”

Jack swallowed. “Yes, sir”

“Can you explain me what the hell was all that?”

Jack’s eyes flickered. Jim knew he was just about to say the coach how wrong is to say _“hell”_ in a sentence, but he probably thought twice, because before parting his lips he threw a quick and inscrutable look at Jim. “I don’t know sir”

“Don’t play the fool with me! I’m not blind. That was your girlfriend!”

“I’m really sorry sir…She has been acting weird lately and…”

 _It was my fault. I made her angry._ Thought Jim not daring to say it aloud and his chance to play in the final game.

“I don’t care what you did to her! I don’t want to see her for the rest of the trip. Understood?”

“Why you say that? I didn’t have anything to do with that! You think she made that sign for me!” He exploded. His face was red, but not with embarrassment. He was furious because of what the coach just said.

Jim put a hand on his shoulder as a sign he better let go, but Jack yanked free and stepped up in front of the coach with his arms folded and a menacing look on his eyes.

Luckily the coach didn’t notice or didn’t mind to think that someone like Jack could really intimidate anyway.

“You were drinking last night, don’t you?” He glared at all of them. “That is why Paul was making a fool of himself in the middle of the field?”

No one responded.

“It ends now. I can’t lock you in your rooms until tomorrow, but I check every hour that all of you are inside and if you…”

“You can’t do that” Kev and Gary protested.

“I can’t and I will, go and wash yourselves, I’ll go for your keys in an hour and if any of you for any reason get your asses out of your rooms in the night consider yourself out of tomorrows’ game and the team”

Everyone rolled their eyes and Jim felt Garret’s intention to protest but he made him signs.

“Now get the hell out of here, except for Garret, Taylor and Kirk”

Jack passed by Jim without saying a word and he could noticed how upset he looked.

When everyone left, Jim, Garret and Aidan stared at the couch concerned.

The man’s expression didn’t shift from his deep despise and that’s the reason why they were taken aback when he congratulated them.

“I liked what I saw today” The man said patting Garret’s back. “You three now how to work together and adapt quickly to the other’s situations”

 _Tell me something I don’t know._ Thought Jim bored thought a bit grateful.

“I want to see that again tomorrow. Kyle and Jack will probably tear each other’s throat when they find out why those girls were fighting. I’m not sure about them right now, so I need to know that I can trust in you three”

“We got it in the bag” Garret replied haughtily.

Jim and Aidan nodded.

“I know you do. You saw how the Hawks play. They are fast and strong but they huddle too much and tend to leave their goalkeeper alone”

“We can beat them. No need to worry” Aidan affirmed and then the man’s expression softened a bit and looked straight at Jim.

“You were right Taylor. I should have put Garret in the field instead of Paul”

Jim blushed and nodded.

“That is why you will be in charge tomorrow”

Jim’s heart slammed against his ribs violently. “Coach but…Kyle”

“If he is not here right now, is because he is more interested in that girl than playing. You will give the orders tomorrow and I’ll make sure everyone obeys. If we win, I’ll remove Kyle from his place”

Jim didn’t like it. He felt like he just stabbed Kyle in the back, thought he got to admit that being the provisional captain brought a wave of new feelings to his chest, along with ideas and plans of how he would plan the strategy in tomorrow’s game.

“No, go change I’ll see you for lunch”

They nodded and got out of the locker room along with the man until they split in their way to the hotel when a man stopped the coach to exchange some words.

“What did he want?” Asked Jack when he saw them coming.

“He named James captain Jack. Can you believe it?” Garret said with proudness in his voice.

“Just for tomorrow” Jim reminded him.

Jack gapped and looked at Jim with a mix of troubled feelings.

“Before you anything. I didn’t plan it I just…”

Jack’s furious expression from the previous arguing with the coach changed dramatically. “I’m proud of you” Admitted patting Jim’s arm. “The way you saved the day today, was amazing. We should celebrate it”

“Yeah…I don’t so” Gary interrupted while they crossed the lobby. “The coach won’t let us out tonight in a million years”

Jim snorted. “Are you kidding? Why did the make the championship here if they aren’t expecting us to go crazy?”

Aidan threw a complicity glance at Jim. “What you got in mind?”

“Where is Kev?” Jim asked casually as they made their way to the stairs.

“I think he is already showering. He was pretty upset because the coach forbid us to go out of our rooms” Explained Gary.

Kev was a drug dealer. Everyone new that, so…When Jim suggested that he got planned to drug the coach for real this time. He didn’t think twice to offer him all kind of crazy stuffs he got in his suitcase.

Jim wasn’t sure of getting in his room at first, because he shared it with Paul and even when Kev was another butthead, he needed his help. For his surprise Paul was nowhere to be seen and as I said above Kev was more than willing to help.

Speaking of surprises. Instead of giving him hell for what he got in mind, Jack was more shocked and interested in watching the bags of pills Kev gave Jim than in saying anything against it.

It was a child’s. Jim asked Aidan to offer money to a waiter, to offer money to another waiter to offer money to another waiter to put some pills in the coach’s drink while they ate that afternoon. Surprisingly it was easier than Jim expected. And no, there was nothing to worry about. Jim used to drug his teachers and classmates in high school for his own amusement and to blackmail them later, so no one was going to die today.

Lunch was awkward and silent, at least for most of them. Jim and Garret spent the hour talking about how great they did that day and what they expected the Hawks to do on tomorrow’s grand final game. He almost missed the moment the waiter changed the glasses without the coach noticing. Damn they were good, now he felt a bit concerned about it. Apparently those guys got a lot of practice in the matter.

Aidan winked at him stealthy and Jim grinned to resume his chat with Garret while he wondered if Jack would ever show up.

Jack left them after Jim got the pills from Paul. He said he was going to talk with Beverly, and after the way Jack confronted the coach in the locker room, he was a bit mad and concerned. Jack felt deeply wounded by the coach’s innocent suggestion but also was concerned, because the only thing that takes longer than argue with a psycho bitch is to sleep with her. 

He didn’t want to even consider that last option.

Jim saw the coach’s eyes flicker a couple of times forty minutes later, and he knew he wouldn’t last longer.

When the man said he was going to get a quick nap. Jim smiled for himself pleased and made signs to the others to get ready.

After the coach’s door closed behind him they went to their rooms to change.

Jim gave him enough to put him to sleep until next day and even when he felt a bit troubled for doing that to him after the opportunity he gave him, he couldn’t wait any longer to see the betches and ask the details of the fight that he missed for playing the hero.

When he was sure the coach was fast asleep, he felt tempted to send a text to Jack and ask him if he was okay, but he was still mad after what he said and did the night before and if he sorted things out with Beverly after what she did in the game, Jim knew he wouldn’t like to see him in the whole day.

Instead he went to see Garret and Aidan, since Jim’s clothes were in the beach house, he didn’t have to worry about waiting for Garret to get out of the shower. When he lost his patience he told Aidan he would wait for them there and left.

It was only two streets from the hotel to the beach house, but the sun was implacable and his skin itchy and felt clammy. He couldn’t wait to get to our room and bath.

Breathless and thirsty for the game and the sun he sighed with relief when he saw the beach house’s side when he turned the corner, but before he got a chance to get any closer yells made him stop.

He approached slowly as the arguing grew louder and louder and now he could also hear music coming from inside the house.

He stealthy positioned himself beneath the stairs that took to the portico. He should have just climbed the stairs and ask them to let him pass, but it felt wrong, even worse than to eavesdrop the fight, considering that his name popped twice in the conversation while was still folding his limbs in the dark patch beneath them.

“So what? I should have let her do that to pretty face?” Kristie’s voice shrilled from above.

“That was none of your business Kristie! James is a grown man”

“Yeah, but I have seen how everyone messes with him and no one says anything. Did you see that guy Paul? He is an asshole, and he won’t stop bullying him”

“So what? He is your next target now? Are you going to scratch his face too?” Kyle bellowed furious.

“Maybe” Kristie suggested.

“See? I knew you wouldn’t change. You keep acting like a kid, I don’t know why you keep making promises when…”

Jim heard steps on the wood and then my voice. “Kyle…”

“Stay away from this Stily. She won’t get away with this”

“I didn’t make a stupid prank Er. I did what was right. Because of bitches like _Bev_ and my aunt is that things doesn’t change”

“It isn’t your responsibility to do anything!”

“Of course I am…I like pretty face. He is my friend and…”

“You don’t understand that this isn’t about James? Or the sign of gay rights?”

There was a pause. “Of course not, it is about you, as always. It is about how I embarrassed you in your so important game when one of your friends keeps getting humiliated by everyone”

Another silence. This one longer. “James is a grown up and he…”

“What if she wouldn’t have make the sign for Pretty face but for Stily? Would things have been different?”

A short silence. “Of course not. You…”

“You doubted! Of course it would be different, because you don’t give a crap about Pretty face, but he needs support and help. Don’t you see how much Jack and him are struggling with their feelings and…”

_What?_

“That’s not our business! Is theirs! That is what I’m trying to tell you is…” He shut and for a good reason.

Jim’s heart skipped a beat as he saw feet climbing the stairs right above him, he just hoped the persons didn’t look down or else…

“Hey. What’s going on with you too?” Allison voice’s asked as some more feet joined her upstairs.

“Kristie had a fight in the middle of the game with Jack’s girl”

“Oh my god! Are you alright? Did you beat her?”

“Like if you cared” Kristie snapped. “Nice to see you again Mina”

“It’s Mya” A girls’ voice replied dryly. “Allison, I think we should come later, when things are bit calmer”

“Wait but…”

“It’s alright, we need to change anyway. We’ll see you in a couple of hours”

Now the steps went down and Jim sighed when they got lost in the sunny afternoon.

“So…What’s going on?” Allison asked with concern.

“Bev made a sign making fun of Pretty face and she was running their game. Actually they were losing, so…”

“She starched her face. Bathed her on coke and shoved a straw in her nose” Kyle finished for her.

“Thank you” Kristie snapped.

Allison cracked in laughs. “Really? Oh my god! I can’t believe I lost it!”

“What? You too?” Kyle said angry. “I can’t believe you seriously think she is right”

Allison sighed. “Relax. I’m not saying anything. Of course that what you did was wrong Kristie. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t funny”

“I don’t think…”

“Kyle…”

“She got kicked out of the…”

“You know it was funny. I wished I had been there”

“Alright, it was a bit funny but that doesn’t mean…”

“I’m not saying it was right, at least not completely” Allison affirmed. “It was something that would happen sooner or later Kyle. Beverly is a bitch, she has always been and everyone knows she hates Jimmy, there is no reason to question that. It would happen eventually”

“So what? Now are you going to kick the crap out of her every time you see her?”

“Jesus! Of course not! That’s the problem with you too! You both are too intense! You always end in the edges of everything. Come on! You got to even things” Allison affirmed.

“But…”  

“You shouldn’t have kicked her ass in the game, it would be better to made another sign taunting her and you shouldn’t be yelling like it is the end of the world Kyle, seriously, I swear I could hear you from two blocks away”

“I’m sorry”

“Yeah, me too”

“Calm down guys, this is summer, we have a place, alcohol, a beach and enough age to get wasted. Can you please leave the drama behind and just enjoy our final days in paradise?”

“You are right Allison, I’m really sorry” Kyle said embarrassed.

“Kristie…” Allison began.

“Yeah, I’m sorry too, but just a bit”

Allison cracked in laughs and then Kyle and Kristie joined her and that was Jim’s call to come out of his stash, which he thanked because his legs were starting to feel numb.

…….

It didn’t matter how much I stretched my ear. I couldn’t hear anything else. Derek’s music bounced on the walls and even when I liked it, it was making me anxious. Again I was really mad at Kyle by the way he was yelling at Kristie, but I had to be on his side, or at least pretend to be.

When Derek found me eavesdropping and gave me one of his annoying looks I rolled my eyes and he grabbed the handle of the door to pull the door open.

For our surprise, Kristie wasn’t weeping in the ground alone, instead we heard laughs.

There they were. Kyle and Kristie holding hands next to Allison who was telling them about the things she did earlier and Jim was in the floor listening to their blabbing all sweaty and with some tiredness in his eyes.

“Hey, you came back early” Said Derek with a smirk as he pressed a Kiss on Allison’s temple.

She pressed her lips in a thin line. “It wasn’t the same without you, you should have come”

Derek chuckled “And miss all the fun?”

Allison’s eye, popped open when she saw the scar in Derek’s forehead. “That bitch, I can’t believe you too got involved” She grunted glaring at me.

“They were defending my honor” Kristie said looking at us as if we were superheroes.

“Actually It think it was mine” Jim intervened and we all laughed.

“Betch! You did it!” Liam’s voice came from behind me as he went straight to throw his arms at Jim’s neck.

Jim patted his back and smiled.

“Yeah, it was pretty amazing how you guys moved” Kyle remarked.

“It wasn’t a big thing” Jim affirmed, but of course I could see he was just trying to be modest.

“Where is Jack by the way?” Asked Kristie looking at Jim with concern.

Jim hesitated and then parted his lips. “He went to talk to her after the game, but he didn’t show up for lunch”

“I guess they are busy right now” Allison suggested.

I noticed how Jim’s jaw tensed when he heard that but he didn’t reply.

“I don’t think so, considering we got kicked out of the hotel” Kristie chortled and Kyle glared at her.

“It isn’t fun Kristie, if Stily and his friends…”

“We are here and that’s all what matters” Derek cut him with a smirk.

Then I think we all had the same idea, because all our heads craned at the same time toward Jim.

He frowned and stood. “What?”

“You can’t let him bring her here!” I don’t know who said it first.

“What? Why I would…:”

“Come on James! You do everything Jack says” Kyle pointed out.

Jim blushed and shook his head. “That’s not true! And of course I wouldn’t let him bring her here. You think I’m happy by what she did?”

“Why is everyone outside?” I heard Cass said at my back.  “Did something happen?”

“Apart from the fact that you guys got banned from the championship and won’t see me kick ass in the final?” Jim laughed and a knot tied in my stomach.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you…”

“Kyle just told me, it is okay guys, it isn’t a big deal”

Of course he would say that. Jim always pretended to be tough all that shit, but lately, and especially after Kyle’s remark, I understood that he wasn’t as coldhearted as he pretended to be.

“We still can disguise ourselves” Liam suggested.

“Yeah, I would love to see Stily wearing makeup” Jim flashed a smile and walked in. “I need a bath, I’ll see you guys later”

“Yeah, I need one too” Kyle pointed out taking a look at his clothes.

“We could skinny dip in the beach” Kristie suggested with a spicy look in her eyes.

“And I know the perfect place to hide your clothes” Allison added suggestively.

Kyle glared at both of them.

“Let’s go. The first in getting in, is frigid Christian slut” Kristie cracked in laughs as she took off her top and ran inside followed by Kyle and Allison.

Liam and I laughed as he went in after Cass and Derek threw me a look. “What was all that?”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Hiding clothes?”

I was about to say Derek that he wasn’t paying attention when I recalled that Derek wasn’t in the lake the other day, and also realized that even when Allison wouldn’t shut up talking about Kristie, she omitted the dirty details even from Derek.

I shook my head. “Nothing, just… A silly game they have” I explained thought I didn’t find it amusing at all, well…Maybe it was as long as the didn’t do it to me.

Oh god now I was thinking about Kyle naked in the woods, with enough light, just a little bit more light I could have seen everything perfectly.

“It doesn’t sound like a funny game”

I frowned and then chortled.

“What?” He squinted through his glasses.

“You’re jealous” I pointed out.

“Of course not” He grunted. “Why I would be jealous of Kyle? I’m hotter than him, and funnier, and smarter and…”

“And humble, don’t forget humble” I laughed.

“Let’s grab a beer” He offered and walked by, and I don’t know… I couldn’t help feeling a weird vibe from him. He seemed a bit mad after all.

I followed him inside and we snatched beers from the cooler while laughed about Jim singing in the shower, then went to the beach and sat in the shore to watch Kyle, Allison and Kristie mess around near the people of the house next to ours.

“Aren’t you going with them?” Derek asked me after the third beer.

Something shuddered inside me. How many times would we need to have that conversation? I couldn’t believe how stubborn he would get to be.

I looked around. “Derek…”

“Stiles, there is no one around”

Blood reddened my face with anger and stood.

“Where you’re going?” He asked annoyed.

“I’ll get another beer”

“I just brought you one!” He remarked.

“I just dropped it” I threw it on the sand for real.

Of course he wouldn’t let me have the last word. That was unbearable for him. “Stiles, what’s the matter if you get in there! You’re having fun with your friends”

I turned. “If you want to go with them, do it Derek, I’m staying here” I spat feeling how my body shook.

“Stiles, there is nothing wrong…”

“Leave me alone!”

I stormed out furious with him, and also feeling deeply disappointed with me, because I promised I wouldn’t fight with him anymore, because we were running out of time, because he stayed in the shore with me, instead of joining the guys inside the beach, even when he was desperate to get inside to take Kyle’s hands off Allison’s shoulders.

“Geez, what’s wrong with you?” Jim asked when I found him in the kitchen drying his hair with a towel.

“Nothing” I said rolling my eyes.

He ignored me but then looked at me a bit troubled. “I got to tell you something”

“Ok, what happened?” I crested my brow.

He chewed his bottom lip for a minute in silence and then parted his lips. “The coach wants me to take Kyle’s place tomorrow”

It took me almost a minute to understand his words, and then I processed it. “Oh my god! That is huge!”

“It’s not a big deal” He said poorly convincing.

“Oh yeah?” I snorted. “Then why you feel so guilty?”

“I’m not… Ok, yeah. I don’t know. I think Kyle will be mad at me when he finds out”

I laughed. “Who cares? Screw Kyle, you will be the captain tomorrow!”

“Yeah, betch it is a good thing” Liam said suddenly, and now I noticed that had been there all the time checking up his phone.

“I don’t think it is a good idea” Jim said and then paled and when I turned a pair of arms grabbed me by my back. Strong, big and slippery hands.

“What isn’t a good idea?” Kyle said at my back as warm drops of water fell from his soaked hair and landed on my forehead.

“What are you doing?” I said trying to break free while he dragged me out of the kitchen and Liam and Jim watched amused.

“What do you think?”

“Let me go Kyle!” I grunted furious.

“What’s the matter? I’ve seen you get in since we got here”

“That’s because I don’t like the beach!”

I didn’t have to look back to see he was rolling his eyes. “Oh come on, we saw how you looked at us… Why don’t you just...”

“I’m serious! Let me go!” I elbowed him in the stomach, he panted and released me. “Thank you”

“Why are mad at me?” He grimaced holding his perfectly chiseled abs.

I looked away.

“I’m not mad at you! I just…”

“You don’t like to take your clothes!” He said to himself with a realization look in his eyes.

“What?” I snorted pretending confidence.

“It was the same in the lake! When you didn’t want me to…”His hands flew to my shirt and started pulling pushed him away. “Let me alone!”

“I was right!” He said with a hybrid look between amusement and concern.

“But…Why?”

“Has always been that way” Liam pointed out stubbornly.

I craned my neck and glared at him.

“Always?” Kyle frowned.

“Always” Jim confirmed.

_Traitors._

“Stily, but why… “

 _Are you kidding? Have you guys seen yourself?_ “I just don’t feel like getting in the water at his time” _Or anytime someone else is around._

“Stily. Come on! Let’s go have fun! It isn’t the same without you. James and your friend…”

“Liam”

“Liam, are coming too. Right?”

I turned and they both nodded as they started to take off their clothes. I just hoped Kristie and Allison let them naked for selling me that easily.

“Stily come on!” Kyle pleaded. “I’ve been so busy with the championship that we barely see each other”

“Oh sweetie, listen to him!”

“Could you just shut up?” I grunted making signs to Liam that he was going to regret it, then came back to Kyle and he made puppy eyes.

Stupid puppy eyes.

I looked around, there was no one on side. I mean the betches were there, Allison and Kristie were fooling with Derek in the water. Only Derek had seen me naked before, well, and my parents of course, but that didn’t count. I just… Felt afraid of what people would say and it was frustrating, why couldn’t they understand that…

“I’ll go with my clothes on”

Kyle considered it for a moment and then looked at me with mad eyes. “No deal”

Before I had a change to react, his long fingers were tickling me in the stomach and armpits and I cursed and tried to punch him, but then Liam and Jim grabbed me by the limbs and Kyle unbuttoned my shirt and zipped down my pants.

Ok, you know what’s weird in all this? Last night I agreed to sleep with Kyle, which meant that if I got to do it he would had to zip down my pants, and now he was doing it for real. Never mind, we weren’t having sex and plus now I realize that I wouldn’t ever let him see me naked so it was impossible to have sex.

Anyway, Liam released my legs and Kyle took off my pants while I kicked to get free, but once I was in my underwear there was no going back.

When they finally let me go I quickly stood covering my body the best I could. Feeling humiliated and wounded. Tears climbed at my eyes and quickly felt how the air escaped my lungs and felt eyes all over me. I would never forgive them.

“Look!” Kyle aloud swinging his arm around.

I turned to get into the house furious but Kyle grabbed me by the shoulders. “Let me alone!” I roared.

“Sweetie”

“You too! I can’t believe you seriously did this” I bit my tongue to fight back my tears.

Liam looked at me hurt. Jim just rolled his eyes and passed by us to get into the water. Of course, it was easy to do when you looked like him.

“Stily. There is no one around” Kyle said softly.

I turned to tell him to fuck off, to forget about me and then it swept me.

The wind.

It was warm a bit cold after being unexposed for so long wearing that shirt and my cargo pants. I still felt awfully uncomfortable and even when I knew that no one was staring I still had that sensation, but also felt a bit of freedom.

“Stily, I’m here” Kyle muttered. “There is nothing to be afraid of”

His big and strong hands took mine and gently drew them away from my body.

I let him. I don’t why, but I didn’t resist. I still felt humiliated, I still felt awful and completely naked even in my underwear, but also felt safe.

I nodded.

He sighed. “Why you made such a big deal?” He asked calmer as he took me by the shoulders and led me to the shore.

I didn’t respond.

“He isn’t the most self-confident person in the world” Explained Liam.

Kyle snorted. “You’re kidding right?”

 _Do I look like a Joke?_  Jesus! I couldn’t believe he seriously made me go.

“Stily, you aren’t seriously going to tell me you feel uncomfortable with your body”

I didn’t respond. I made it that far. I knew that if I opened my mouth he was going to regret asking and I was going to regret responding. It was better to wait for him to grow tired of asking.

And he did.

“What was all that?” Kristie asked confused when we got into the warm water and joined them.

“Nothing, Stily wanted to get some sleep and I didn’t let him” Kyle lied, and I thank him in my mind.

Now that I was inside and my body was covered with water I felt better with myself. Actually I loosened a bit and smiled. It was weird, I felt mad at Kyle for making me do it and grateful at the same time, but then I turned, and also felt sad when I saw Derek leaving.

…….

Jim went after Derek, not to stop of course. There wasn’t a way he would know that Derek was really mad at me and didn’t want me around.

He was tired.

Remember the party? Well, Jim went to bed pretty late, and since he woke up before the sun was up and then had to play a pretty difficult game while Beverly made her ridiculous show and later listen to the talk of the coach, well, he needed to refill his energy, also… He wasn’t in the mood of fooling around with us when Jack was probably having sex with his Bev even when they were unmarried Christians.

In other words. He just went to help Kyle make me feel comfortable, and now that I know his reasons I think I should have thank him and smack him in the head, but it doesn’t matter now.

He got into the house and passed by Cass who looked pretty annoyed while Tim kept ranting about something.

 _Wrong time, betches._  Jim would have liked to help, but he didn’t feel strong enough to listen to whatever happened between those two, instead he resumed his walk to the bedroom.

Checked if he had any new text in his phone and when he found the notification bar empty got into the bed.

Now he finally could rest and most importantly not think about Jack.

He was definitely not thinking about the way Jack grabbed him by the waist last night as if he was his property, and of course didn’t notice that he still could feel his fingers wrapping around his side even when it seemed like it happened ages ago.

He tossed.

One hour of sleep, maybe two and then he would get up. If he was lucky he would wake up right in time for the game to discover that Kyle would lead the team instead of him and his guilt wouldn’t eat him alive.

Just one hour it was all he needed, and Jack wouldn’t block his way and accuse him of being jealous. It was stupid that he pointed out that all out of the blue. Of course Jim was jealous, but he didn’t let any sign to slip. He was careful, but then why…?

He tossed again.

He was looking at him. Didn’t he? Jim wasn’t sure, but when Jack was kissing that girl.

_Fuck, just sleep._

But when Jack was kissing, his eyes were on him. That was the reason. That was why Jim passed by them fast and pretended to ignore him.

He gave signs.

He yelled at him that he was jealous.

_Sleep betch, sleep._

Jack knew, and also Beverly knew too. She told Jack that Jim had feelings for him. Jack probably ignored her because he knew that she hated Jim, but now that he was suspicious and knew that Beverly had somehow figured it out. It would make everything more complicated.

How did she find out? Was Jim that obvious? How? Why? He had been so careful all that time to hide his feelings for Jack from everyone even kept trying to hide them from himself, because he knew it wasn’t healthy to fall for someone like him, but there he was, even after all the things Jack did and said and how he behaved the night before. Jim couldn’t sleep, thinking about him. Thinking about the things he said in his bed after Emily’s funeral, thinking about how his arms wrapped around Jim from behind they slept. Thinking how he couldn’t sleep when he did that. Spending sleepless night just like that day.

He opened his eyes and of course he had to have fallen asleep finally, because Jack was right in front of him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you” Jack muttered blushing.

 _I can’t sleep._ “I just woke up”

“Oh, Good. I just… Wanted to know if you were ok”

Jim nodded.

“She shouldn’t have done that”

“Leave it Jacky, I’m used to it”

“No, it is not okay” Jack affirmed with determination in his eyes.

“You didn’t deserve what she did to you”

“The sign didn’t have my name Jack; people probably thought she was calling fags to all of us”

Jack’s face reddened. “I’m her boyfriend, if she needs any…”

“God! Let it go. You guys sorted things out already so why do bother? I’m serious, I don’t care”

Jack blinked twice and swallowed. “I thought about what you said before the game”

Jim furrowed his brow.

“About being me who’s spoiling everything”

 _Jesus!_ “Jacky I was mad, ok? Just because I said that didn’t mean…”

Jack raised his hand. “You were right”

_Really?_

“I’ve looking for excuses, blaming the world for forgetting Bev’s birthday, for letting her down after that, for kissing that girl last night and the way I’ve been behaving this days and…”

Jim swallowed and his heart slammed his ribs, actually he felt a bit of nauseas now.

Jack slowly reached and sat in the bed next to Jim.

“What you said is the only thing that makes sense in my mind. I didn’t forget her birthday, I didn’t leave her alone in the room because her friends were on the way, I didn’t kiss that girl because I was drunk. I did it because I wanted to. I made those choices because I don’t want to marry her James”

Jim’s heart stopped beating. I swear it did. “So…”

“It’s over. I’m sick of the way she threats you, just like Paul. I should have done something before, and nothing of this would have come out of control as it did. I broke up with her, because I don’t love her, maybe I did years ago, I don’t know. But now I’m sure I don’t”

“Jacky” Jim whispered not knowing what to say. Jack looked confused, scared, overwhelmed, and tired, but also he looked…Relieved.

“I don’t care what my mom says, I’m not marrying Beverly, I didn’t want in the first place. I don’t even know what I acceded to ask her hand”

_Kristie was right! It was all a trap!_

“And I need your support in this James. My mom will come after you again. You must tell her you can’t help her, and even if she makes me change my mind…”

He took Jim’s hand and Jim’s chest stirred.

“Promise me you won’t let me marry her”

Jim chuckled. “How…How am I’m going to do that?”

“You won’t have to, but if you had, I don’t now… Figure out, Stiles told me you’re pretty wicked when you want to”

“Please Jacky, don’t listen to Stily, actually we call him Stily Cyrus because…”

“It doesn’t matter, just promise me you won’t let me make that mistake”

Jim nodded. “I promise” He squeezed Jack’s sweaty hand. “And if you need support for when you tell her I’m here for you”

_I wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world._

Jack chuckled. “I couldn’t expect less, but it is done already”

_Damn it._

“I took her to the bus station and waited for her to leave”

Jim froze and then sparks flew all around feeling him with happiness. He got out of bed and put on his shoes as they made their way to the door.

“So, there is nothing to worry about, apart from enjoining this place and win the final game tomorrow”

Jim nodded.

“I bet you can’t go skinny dipping in the beach” Jack muttered with a wicked grin as he opened the door.

“Are you seriously daring me to something so basic” _And oddly familiar._ He shook his head.

“Are you scared?”

Jim snorted. “Please Jacky, I bet I can make there before you and…”

Jack ran fast, cracking in laughs like a dumb little boy.

 _You’re not twelve, asshole! Stop being so adorable!_  Jim thought laughing with some frustration as he saw him run without noticing that Jim didn’t go after him.

He took the doorknob to close the door when his phone rang.

He looked at Jack who already getting into the Jack without noticing Jim’s absence and he chuckled. Went back inside and grabbed his phone while he peeked through the window a couple of hot guys that passed by. “Hi mother”

“Hi babe” His mom replied with a certain tone in her voice.

“How are your vacations?”

“Boring, your dad won’t stop working” She complained.

“I warned you” He laughed.

“It doesn’t matter honey, I’m calling because Sara’s son is in Sunset Valley’s championship and he told her she saw you in competing!”

“Oh, yeah. I’m here” He said casually.

“James! Why you didn’t tell me! I can’t believe I missed it”

“I didn’t want to ruin your plans mother” He said with tiredness in his voice.

“I can’t believe you say that! You never tell me when your games are, are you afraid I’ll embarrass you? I’m really mad at you right now”

“I’m sorry mother, I didn’t think you liked soccer”

“Soccer? Not much, but boys in short pants, speaking off…I’m in the pool right now and I’m watching a boy who…”

Jim heard the door as his back. Apparently Jack finally noticed Jim’s absence. He choked a laugh.

“Mother, I have to go. If I win the final game I’ll name you in my speech to worldwide television” He joked.

“Okay honey. Oh I told your dad by the way, he sends hugs and a long and boring proud speech’”

“I love you both. I’ll you next week” Jim chortled and hung the call to turn and face Jack. However, he wasn’t fast enough.

Paul’s hands were already around his neck.

…….

Beverly and Kristie’s fight was the subject of most of our conversation, and even when Kyle didn’t seem amused at first, at the end he even joined us as we started cracking jokes at Beverly’s.

As the time passed, the more anxious I felt because of Derek’s absence. I tried to convince myself he maybe just went to get a beer at the kitchen, but ten minutes later, when Jim’s teammates arrived accompanied by many people from Oakwood, I understood that he wasn’t planning on coming out.

When orange sunset tinted the water I lost my patience and told the guys I was going for a drink. Kristie asked me one, and even when I didn’t know if I was coming back, I nodded.

With the water level now at my waist, I recalled that I was on my underwear and now it was too late. The beach was already crowded and it was too late to come back. People would have probably seemed me already.

I knot tied on my stomach and I hurried cover my scrawniness with my arms pretending to be shivering, though I couldn’t do anything about my crotch and how my brief boxers outlined it.

I had to forget about it. It was just a swimwear. A swimwear with a Pokémon pattern. God what the hell was I thinking? Of course people would notice me. I hated Kyle for making me do it and I hated myself for letting him. Either way I couldn’t do anything anymore.

I sucked a breath and walked with my eyes closed, thinking about anything to keep my mind busy from the fact that probably everyone was making fun of me, though it was hard to make out. I heard conversations, laughs. I smelt a barbeque coming from next door, also there were shouts, and music, Derek’s music and more laughs.

Were they about me?  I wanted to run, to get away from there, but I couldn’t give them the satisfaction of knowing that their words whatever they were, were stinging me so deep.

So, I swallowed the lump on my throat and opened my eyes slowly as I kept walking and the landed on the shore being sweat by a final wave before starting my way back into the house.

My ears unclogged and I saw the lights of the house turned on. The sky was orange and purple, and the laughs were there, and the music too, but there weren’t any eyes on sight.

The laughs came from Aidan just a couple of feet of, who boasting that boy Garret and himself in front of some girls as they giggled and licked their lips.

No one was paying attention.

I breathed and almost cried of happiness.

No one seemed to noticed my presence or nakedness. It was something so relieving and wonderful that I almost went back to the water just to kiss Kyle.

When I got into the kitchen, I found him.

His broad back was in front of me and he was leaping in the pantry snatching spices.

I cleared my throat. “Hey” I said casually as I sat in the stool in front of the table.

“Hey” He replied two minutes later. “Did you have fun?”

I tried to find any trace of sarcasm in his tone, or a note of despise, but couldn’t find anything there. “Yeah” Replied warily still.

“Good”

“Are you still mad at me?” I couldn’t believe I was asking him that. Considering that I had done enough things in the past six months for him to be mad at me for the rest of his life.

He snorted. “Why would I be?”

“Then why…”

“I just wanted to come inside and prepare something. Can’t I be hungry?” He cut short.

I held my breath and balled my hands, and didn’t say anything else as he turned and went to the table to slice some vegetables without looking at me.

“I didn’t want to yell at you like that, I just didn’t feel comfortable enough. You know?”

“Christ! I’m not mad at you Stiles. Could you cut it off?” He replied annoyed.

“Yeah, sweetie he isn’t mad at you at all” Liam’s snarky voice said suddenly and we craned our necks.

He was sitting in a chair in the corner with a wicked grin as his eyes fixed on his phone.

“Are you spying on us now?” He both said at once and Derek choked a laugh.

Liam didn’t respond for a minute and then arched a brow. “Are you talking to me?”

Derek and I frowned. What the hell was he up to?

Never mind. Derek fried some eggs and then sat in the table to eat in silence. He offered me I plate but I wasn’t hungry.

After his third bite, his face shifted. He now was looking at me amused.

“What?”

“You have been walking by the house, full of unknown people, almost fully naked and the world didn’t explode”

I glared at him. “The night is young”

 He chuckled and choked with his egg. “You forgot the sun block didn’t you?” He squinted as he leaned to get a better view of my face.

I frowned ignored the knot in my stomach. “There is nothing…To worry about, it was just a bit of sun”

 He placed the fork on his mouth and parted his lips again after swallowing. “Really? You are all red. It will hurt in the morning”

 _Shit._ I thought angrily. It was Kyle’s fault. At this point I wasn’t sure if I had to thank him or kick him for what he did. Oh and speaking of the devil…

“Here you are!” He said at my back. “Kristie is still waiting for her beer”

“Crap. Sorry, I forgot” I lied as turned toward him.

“It doesn’t matter. I was thinking that I could prepare something for you guys”

“Yeah?” I said intrigued.

“Do you have any limes I could use Derek?”

Derek chewed the last bite of his dinner slowly and then beckoned Kyle with his head toward the sink.

Kyle went there and started slicing them in half.

“What? Tequila shots?” Derek snorted not impressed at all.

Kyle chuckled and shook his head. “Now, this is my own making. I call it, what the hell, because that’s what you’re going to say when you wake up”

“You’re making that up” Derek said rolling his eyes.

“Wanna try?” Kyle said with a devilish grin and both stared at each other for almost two minutes without saying a word or even blinking. When Derek nodded, Kyle’s hand flew in the sink, the table and fridge. Taking lime, oranges, peaches, pineapple. Rum, vodka, two bottles I wasn’t sure what they were made of, mixed it all in the blender along with ice and poured a bit of the glowing orange liquid in three tequila shots.

He took one and offered one to me and another to Derek. “Bottoms up” He said with a smile and we brought the shots to our lips.

We sipped at the same time. An strong and sweet taste made bile climb to my through. I held my breath to not let the nausea win me and opened my eyes, while they grimaced spat it in the sink quickly and imitated their looks when they opened their eyes.

Both of them smiled.

I didn’t.

 


	5. STAY AWAY FROM HIM PART II

## STAY AWAY FROM HIM PART II

 

 

Jim kicked and swung his arms trying to push Paul away, but his grip around Jim’s throat was very tight. Tears climbed to his eyes and he felt how his strength started draining down. His lungs burned. He has never held his breath that long before. At this rate he was going to die he had to do something.

He looked at the nightstand next to him. Tried to get hold of the lamp but it was too far away. Paul’s hands kept tightening and his nails dug on Jim’s skin. His world was only pain now.

With the last of his strength he kicked up as hard as he could.

Paul groaned and released him holding his crotch. “Son of the bitch” He grumbled with tears in his eyes.

Jim breath. He sucked as much air as he could, and it felt like a blessing in his blessing inside his body. An annoying whistling sounded every time he hauled air in his lungs, but he didn’t stop. He brought his hands to his neck and felt a pang of pain. It would get swollen soon, but he had not time to think about his welfare.

He kicked him in the face.

Paul fell on his back quickly rising his hands to protect his face as a he choked a cried and look at Jim with utter despise.

Jim kicked him the stomach, in the ribs and then he grabbed Jim by the foot and made him lose his balance.

Jim fell on his back, scrambled on his feet and turned, but Paul was already on his feet with balled hands and a bloody nose.

“I’m gonna kill you” He roared with mad eyes.

Jim still breathed heavily, but once he had regained a bit of his strength he spoke. His throat scrapped like sandpaper and his voice was hoarse. “What the hell is your problem?”

“I should have known you do it anyway” Paul’s madness shifted to fear, embarrassment and pain. “I should have known I couldn’t trust you”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Don’t play the fool with me! I’m talking about the video” Said so, he lunged after Jim.

Jim awaited for him and ducked in the last minute, before Paul had a change to turn Jim kicked him in the back crashing his face against the edge of the windowsill.

Paul cried loudly this time.

Jim grabbed him by the neck and threw him on his back as he sat himself on top of him to immobilize him.

Paul met his eyes with his.

He was crying.

Jim’s face reddened with anger and hit him. “What the hell are you talking about? I deleted the video”

Paul sniffed. “Who cares? You told everybody anyway”

“Are you insane? Why I would do that? I’m not a little piece of shit like you”

Paul paled, and then he looked around as if he was trying to find someone else hiding somewhere. Then his eyes glinted. “Then it was one of them”

“Who?”

“Your fiends”

“They didn’t tell anybody Paul. If someone saw you sucking Cockgina’s dick that’s none of my business you should have been more careful”

“I was careful” Paul protested trying to push Jim back.

“Yeah? Then why are we having this conversation?”

Paul breathed heavily and again tears climbed to his eyes. “But then…How? How did she find out?”

“Who found out?”

“Don’t play the fool with me! Jack’s girl! You saw that sign in the game” Paul whined as his world crumbled to pieces.

Jim never thought he would hate Paul even more than he already had until he saw him so vulnerable, and acting like a child.

He laughed, really hard. “That wasn’t for you idiot! She made that for me!”

Paul’s eye popped open and he stopped crying at once. “How…Why… It doesn’t make sense”

“Of course it makes sense. She hates me” Jim snorted as he stood and let Paul catch his breath and stand up.

“I…Didn’t know, it said Oakwood’s fag, and just last night. It couldn’t be a coincidence”

“That’s why you started puking and running away?” Jim said incredulous. Seriously? Could he be any weaker?

“I thought… I thought she knew…I thought everyone knew”

“Well, you were wrong. It was about me” Replied Jim rolling his eyes

Paul’s bottom lip wobbled and then he started laughing loudly with relief.

Jim chugged.

“I’m…I’m sorry I didn’t” He squinted at Jim’s throat.

“Let me go” Jim replied dryly when he raised his hand to touch Jim’s neck.

“James…I’m really sorry. I couldn’t stand it. I thought everyone knew, I thought they would make fun of me, I thought they were laughing of like…”

“Like you did to me?” Jim laughed bitterly. “Like those guys did to my friends before beating us bloody the other night?”

Paul swallowed. “I didn’t know…”

“What? That other people have feelings?”

Paul sighed and stared at him with wounded eyes. The blood of his nose was starting to dry. “I so sorry” He muttered and passed by Jim to get to the door, but Jim stopped.

“You know? You should stop so paranoid, or everyone will know you’re gay”

“I’m not gay! I have a girlfriend!” Paul roared furious turning on his heels to glare at him. “It was a mistake… I…Was drunk…”

“Say whatever you want. I don’t care. You did it anyway” Jim cut him. “Just stop acting like it is the end of the world and that everyone found out, or else people will really know it”

Paul closed his eyes for a minute to probably internalize Jim’s words. “It is not that easy, you know? Not after what….”

 _God!_ Jim thought frustrated. He hated himself for what he was about to say, but he really was growing sick of all this. “Look…Why don’t you…Get back to this as they used to be?”

“How?”

“Tease me, make fun of me in front of the rest of the tea…”

“Do you…?”

“But not always, just once in a while, and stay away from Garret. I mean it”

Paul gapped at Jim, his eyes almost came out of his sockets. “Rea…Really? You won’t…”?”

“I won’t say anything” Jim nodded.

Paul blinked twice and turned to open the door. “Than…Thanks. You…Are a good friend”

“I’m not your friend. Not get the hell out of here” Jim grumbled.

And he left.

…….

Apparently that what the hell drink was everything Kyle promised, because…

“Ok, ok, I have one” Kristie said suddenly as she stood look at us. “Never have I ever stolen a car of a neighbor to go to a concert”

Said so, she poured some what the hell in her shot and drank quickly.

“Oh my god! You really did that?” Derek asked choking in laughs.

“I was fourteen and my dad didn’t let get my license” She giggled and sat again in the sand.

“Did you get caught?” Asked Kyle astonished.

“Of course! It was so much fun! You got to see the face of my neighbor when he found out it was me!”

“What did he do?” Allison inquired curious.

“He moved out after the fourth time!” She laughed louder.

“Fourth time?” I said shocked.

“What could I do? I really like that band”

“What did uncle Grant to you?” Asked Jack.

Kristie frowned. “I think he took my credit card for two years, or was it two hours? I can’t remember”

We all laughed.

“Ok, my turn” Said Derek standing up. “Never have I ever went drunk to class”

We all exchanged glances and sipped. While everyone grimaced and threw mine away again.

“Come on! That’s boring” Kyle laughed.

“Oh yeah? Do you have something more interesting Indiana Jones?” Derek shot back.

Kyle stood. “Never have I ever, had sex in my parents’ bed while they were having dinner”

Kristie shot a glance to him. “With whom did you do that?”

Kyle sniggered. “Tina, you don’t know her”

Jack looked abashed as he saw Kyle drink to later focus on Derek and Allison and did the same as they exchanged complicity glances.

“Your turn Stily” Kyle reminded me as he patted me in the back.

 _Shit._ “Um…Never have I ever…” _Have sex._ “Done parkour”

Everyone rolled their eyes. Even Jack. _Wow even him?_

“That’s lame!” Kristie chuckled.

“Yeah, something less boring, come on! Something sexual!” Allison throwing me a devilish grin.

Of course she wanted me to say something about sex. She wanted everyone to make fun of me because I was a virgin. She was going to regret that.

“Ok. Never have I ever, kissed a girl” I said with an innocent drink.

“Just that?” Kyle chuckled. “Must I drink for the shot or the whole thing?”

“I don’t think I’ll leave any left for you” Derek replied.

They both brought their shots to their mouths and drank quickly grimacing as they swallowed and Kristie did the same.

“Kristie?” Jack choked with his drink.

“What? I’m a bad girl” She giggled.

“I’m suddenly feeling more attracted to you” Kyle joked.

“Your turn” Derek elbowed me.

“What? I never kissed a girl” I reminded him.

“Really?” He arched a brow. “You kissed my girlfriend. Remember?” He said a tone of anger in his voice.

 _Crap_.

I took the shot in my hand and brought it to my lips swallowing as fast as I could so I didn’t have to actually taste it.

A hot feeling swept me and I head spun. Damn! It was…

“Allison! You kissed a girl too?” Derek more amused than startled and now everyone darted their eyes to Allison’s empty cup.

The corners of her lips twitched up. “Yeah. I kissed Stiles, remember?”

 _Bitch._ What was she doing that?

Everyone laughed, except for we both.

“What are you doing?” I heard someone said at my left.

Mya and Grace were standing next to Derek with big grins in their eyes.

“We’re talking about kissing girls. Wanna join us Mina?” Kristie arched a brow.

Derek, Kyle and me laughed, though I’m pretty sure we didn’t do it for the same reasons.

Mya shot a glare at Kristie and then smiled. “I think you have a memory problem. I don’t remember how many times I’ve told you that my name is Mya”

“Don’t pay attention to her, she likes to make fun of everyone” Allison laughed and invited them to join us.

Mya found her placed between Allison and Kristie and Grace sat right in front of me. Where the hell where the rest of their friends? Why it was just the two of them?

“So…It’s your turn coz” Kristie said excited, as she looked at him excited.

Jack looked around with swaying eyes. Clearly, the what the hell drink was taking its toll on him.

“Never have I ever… Lied about being sick don’t go to school”

Ok now, I knew how everyone felt after I said that thing about parkour.

“Are you kidding? That’s even worse than mine!” I laughed.

Jack squinted but then shifted his expression as if he recalled something. “You’re right sorry”

“Come one Jack, you can do it better” Kyle affirmed.

Jack looked up as if trying to remember something, but it didn’t seem to be working. “Um…I…Oh I know. I never kissed a boy” He said cutting.

 _He copied what I…. Oh my…_ I thought as my eyes popped open while Derek brought the shot to his lips and I gaped, but then recalled that I kissed him when we were at high school, which reminded me now, that I had to drink too.

 _Shit,_ There were so much eyes and a girl clutching me by the arm, that it was impossible for me to not drink, so I brought the shot to my lips with clenched teeth and sipped.

Grace let go of me. “You…You’re gay?” She asked embarrassed.

I chuckled. “Yeah”

“Oh my god…I’ve been so…”

“It isn’t the big thing. Really. Sorry for not telling you earlier”

“I feel so stupid” She said ashamed.

“Don’t worry. We still…” _She likes me!_ Thought shocked. Okay, she was pretty obvious, but…I wasn’t sure, because she could have been making fun of me all that time. But no! She looked pretty disappointed, and she was gorgeous too! Damn why couldn’t just…

“Derek!” Allison voice said shocked.

I jerked my neck to my left as Derek’s grimace started fading and then saw a pretty mad Allison looking at him and then at me.

“You…You kissed him!”

I chuckled “It’s not what you think, we…”I was saying, but then stopped short.

Kyle was drinking.

…….

He had to bath again and change his clothes to get rid of Paul’s disgusting perfume and both of their blood. Actually our room ended up pretty messy.

Liam came inside while he was bathing and he could hear him yell a lot of things I won’t repeat here, when he saw the state the room was.

When he was done he came out of the room and found Garret wandering in the house.

“Hey. I’m glad to see you” Jim said with a grin as Garret turned on his heels to meet him.

“Thanks” The boy blushed. “Do you know where the bathroom is?”

“Here” Jim led him to our room and showed him the way.

“Thanks, I’ve been holding myself for hours” Garret chuckled and then squinted. “What…What happened to you?”

Jim frowned and then recalled that Paul almost strangled him to death and that his voice was scrappy.

“Nothing,” Jim replied not knowing what lie make up.

Garret looked at him with suspicious, but then turned and got into the bathroom.

The door at Jim’s back slid open while he went to the bed to pick Liam’s dresses from above. _How he dares to say I’m a wreck when he does this?_

“James” Said his voice in a funny tune that made Jim weary and he quickly turned.

“What the hell did you take? How you got drunk so quick?” Jim asked furious.

“Relax. I’m not drunk” Jack affirmed.

Jim chugged and now he could notice that Jack was telling the truth, well, a half-truth. He was half-drunk after all.

“Jack:” Started Jim with tiredness. “You shouldn’t be drinking”

Jack tilted his head to the side and stayed like that for a minute blinking then all out of the blue he started cracking in laughs loudly.

  Jim arched a brow with concern. “What happens?”

“Did you just listened to yourself? You! Telling me that I shouldn’t be drinking!”

Jim rolled his eyes.

“Oh come on, it is funny” Jack said smirking at him as his eyes sparkled.

“Alright, it is a bit funny, you won’t drink anything else tonight” Said Jim bossily.

Jack snorted. “Who are you? Beverly?”

 _Low blow._ Thought Jim moodily.

Luckily the bathroom door swum open and Garret came out before Jim smacked Jack in the head for what he said.

“Thanks James, I thought I was going to explode” Garret smiled.

“Garret! I didn’t know you were here” Jack said shocked.

“I came with Aidan”

“Oh yeah? I didn’t notice when you got here”

“You should come with me, Aidan and I were planning an strategy for tomorrow. I think we can win James” Garret looked at him with hopeful eyes.

Jim grinned and followed him to the door.

“Making plans just the three of you?”

Jim rolled his eyes. “He meant both of us, let’s go”

He pushed Jack in the back to force him turn and get out of the room. Jack’s swaying eyes fixed on him for a brief moment and right after Garret came out he closed the door and turned to face Jim.

“What?” Jim asked with concern.

“Guys?” Garret asked at the other side of the door.

“It’s okay, we’ll join you guys in a minute” Jack said without detaching his eyes from Jim.

Jim crested his brow. “So?”

“What happened to you?”

Jack’s quirky mood shifted suddenly to an iron one. His eyes did too.

Jim pressed his lips in a thin line. “Nothing, it was just the sun”

Jack’s expression didn’t change. He reached closely and raised his hand to touch Jim’s neck slightly.

A shot of pain made Jim step back.

“Who did this to you?” Jack’s stern look was now a wary one.

“I told you Jacky, it was no one, just forget it okay?”

“Was it Garret?”

Jim looked at him incredulous. “What? No! I told you! It was the sun!”

“The sun?” Jack snorted. “And the sun also broke your lip?”

“It’s nothing Jacky, I solved the issue myself, just let go”

“Issue?”

“Forget it”

“It is serious James, it looks like you tried to…” His eyes went to the ceiling.

“What?”

Jack sighed with relief. “I thought you tried to hang yourself”

“What? Are you nuts? Paul strangled me!”

“What? Why? Because you beat him the other day? Where is he?”

Jim grabbed him by the arm. “What is wrong with you? It was nothing! Just a misunderstanding!”

“Misunderstanding? Are you crazy? I’m gonna find him and…”

Jim squinted. “What did you take?”

Then suddenly Jack’s expression shifted again, this time to a funny one. “I’m not sure; I think it was something Stiles or Kyle prepared”

_Stily, I should have known._

“Alright, let’s go back to the hotel. I think it is better if you sleep it off”

“Get back? It is too early. I came looking for you to join us. We were playing this game when we must drink if we did the same thing that the others did in the past and I found out that Kristie kissed a girl and I felt a bit confused at first but now…”

“You’re having weird mood changes” Jim pointed.

“No, I think you’re paranoid”

“Look Jacky, it was a pretty stressful day for all of us. I think it is better if I take you back to the hotel. You need to rest and process all the things you lived today”

“I’m fine James” Jack affirmed. “Well, I’m not fine… I mean, I want to find Paul and…”

“See? You’re acting weird, you’re talking too much and too fast. And you’re talking about hurting people. It isn’t okay”

“James, I’m fine. I promise”

“I don’t know. I would feel calmer if you went back to the hotel”

Jack stopped short and looked at Jim with troubled eyes. “I…I don’t want to be alone James”

Jim chugged. He should have seen that coming.

“You won’t be Bev…Oh I almost forget, sorry:”

“It doesn’t matter. I couldn’t sleep when she was around either”

“Really?”

Jack nodded. “You could spend the night with me, you will have more room”

Just the thought of that brought a wave of emotions to Jim’s chest that froze him in time. It was so hard for him to understand, he felt like Jack was trying to tell him something, but he didn’t want to think, to believe because he knew everything was happening in his head. It happened that way before with Gabe, he knew he was reading him wrong, but everything seemed to point toward it, everything and everyone if he considered what he heard Kristie and Kyle said earlier that day.

Could for once the world be right and he wrong?

“Okay, let me grab my stuffs and then…”

“Not yet. I want to stay a bit longer”

“Please James. You haven’t even tried the drink that Stiles gave me, it is amazing”

“Okay, but just another hour. I think you drank too much of that thing already”

They crossed the door and went to the steps as they spotted our group in the shore, but also Jim noticed Cass sitting alone in the steps checking up his phone.

“Hey Batman, where’s robin?”

Cass detached his eyes from his phone and looked at Jim. “He went to a club somewhere here, he has been acting weird because Craig won’t stop calling him”

“Craig?”

“The guy from the other night, you know? The coward who ran away”

“Oh” Jim squinted trying to recall what Craig looked like. “So… He left to screw up with somebody?”

“There are gay clubs in here?” Asked Jack surprised.

Cass and Jim laughed. “There are guy clubs everywhere” Explained Cass. “And I don’t know man, Tim is not the same lately”

Jim snorted. “What? Are you jealous?”

Cass blushed. “Of course not. I’m just concerned about him”

“You should have gone with him then”

Cass shook his head. “I don’t think so, there is karaoke show tonight. I don’t want to spend my night listening I will survive a million times”

“A karaoke show? That sounds fun” Jack said with sparkly eyes.

“Don’t even think about it. You promised you…” Jim stopped short and looked at his right.

Freddy was alone with Greg chatting by the rocks at the right side of the house.

A memory of the night of the attack came to his mind, the blood, Shaneleslie, her cries. Then everything came to place. The yelling while Jim was bathing, the dress onto the bed.

Liam.

Jim’s heart lurched and he ran.

…….

I still was in shock. I didn’t notice when Allison and Derek stood to talk apart from the rest of us. I didn’t pay attention to the new rounds in the game. In head, Kyle kissed a faceless guy over and over again. My heart sunk, my fingers trembled, my arms stirred, my arms shook and everything spun.

It was then when I realized that Jim was shaking my shoulder.

I snapped and blinked.

“Jesus! What the hell have you guys been drinking?” Jim asked and I hit reality focusing my eyes on him.

His bottom lip was parted, his neck swollen and red and his voice hoarse and hasty.

“What happened to you?” I said with concern. “It was Paul? He came after you? We have to…”

“Paul?” Jack interrupted me and now I noticed how he slightly swayed to a side. He started drinking when Kristie and he had their private talk before the Never have I ever game an hour ago. How was it possible for him to get in such state that quick? I definitely needed to stay away from Kyle’s drink.

I put my glass on the sand.

All the eyes were on Jim now.

“Paul did that to you James?” Kyle stuttered as he pointed at Jim’s neck with furious eyes.

“I knew it wasn’t the sun! You lied to me!” Jack growled like a furious animal.

His head went from left to right twice. “When I found him I’m going to…”

“You’re not doing anything! I got it covered”

“You got it covered? Are you insane? That guy is out of control!” Kyle stood.

“Er is right pretty face. Let’s find this bastard and…”

Jim chugged and pulled of my shoulder to force stand and follow him.

“It was a misunderstanding guys. Really. Just forget it”

But didn’t wouldn’t.

Jim took me to the steps where Cass was awaiting for us accompanied by Freddy and Greg.

“Look...” I was starting when Jim rolled his eyes and raised his hand to make me shut up.

“Rupaul went out” He stated at once.

I frowned. “So what?” I said not getting his point. “We can take Paul down without his help like yesterday when…”

“His dresses are all around our bed betch” Jim replied with frustration.

“Betch?” Jack voice repeated and then he looked at his with a funny look. “Is that some kind of homosexual code for fellow?”

“Yeah, wait you learn how we call our dicks” Cass said wryly.

“Can you shut up? This is serious” Jim grunted.

“I don’t…” My voice trailed off and my eyes met Jim’s and Freddy’s concerned ones. Now I understood. Liam went out wearing a dress.

My stomach plunged down.

“I’m calling him right now, I can’t believe that he is really doing this” And certainly couldn’t. After what we lived the other night and what happened to Anthony, I found it unreliable that Liam could consider doing Drag again in his life. But now I recalled his attitude since we arrived Sunset Valley and the pieces of the puzzle started to fit.

My heart skipped a beat.

He wanted to start another fight, but why?

His phone was off.

“There is no time. Cass where he is. Tim went there not so long” Jim explained.

“Let’s go” I nodded.

We just gave one step when Jim spun and stopped Jack with both of his hands. “You’re not coming”

“What? Why? I want to go!” Jack complained.

“You’re too drunk, it is too risky, and we can get our butts in trouble”

“That’s why I have to go. I can help, I won’t let anyone hurt you”

That simple sentence made me and the rest of the betches to stop short.

We all spun blinking to stare at Jim and Jack openmouthed.

“Or or a..ny of your friends”

Jim rolled his eyes and we started running after Cass.

“Why…Are…We running?” Kristie asked suddenly and I almost stopped, but Cass was already out of the house and there wasn’t time to lose. I couldn’t lose him from sight.

“Kristie come back with Kyle. This could be dangerous”

“Are we following Paul?” It was nothing when I noticed Kyle’s presence next to Jim.

I didn’t have time to think about Kyle kissing boys, but…I couldn’t just see him in the eye.

Instead I looked at a very annoyed Jim.

“You got to admit that that betch got balls” Jim said between heavy breaths as we passed at high speed by rows and rows of houses following Cass’ trail.

I was really mad. I wasn’t sure if it was to Jim for bringing back from whatever place I had been when he found me, or mad at Kyle for kissing another boy, or mad at Liam for doing something so stupid like wearing a dress to out at night without telling someone to accompany him for precaution.

It was shitty you know? I can’t believe how frightened I was. I was seeing Liam’s blood on my hands, I was seeing lights spinning in circles drawing scary faces beating us all bloody.

After fifteen minutes of running to nonstop I heard music, and saw lights, large laser lights pouting at the sky right from…The Sea?

I shook my head when Cass slowed his paced and followed a track that took to the pier.

“He went here?” Freddy said in a mixture of incredulousness and fear.

Cass nodded. “This is where Tim Grindr’s profile is pointing at, and since he isn’t picking his phone it is all we got”

At least it was better than nothing.

I caught my breath in one of the wooden bars of the pier as the rest stared at the heavily crowded place. It felt like a music festival, it even had a stage, but it seemed more like a place for locals, like a club.

“Kyle, do you remember my friend Liam?” I asked still breathless.

Kyle nodded. “Kristie and I will look near the stage”

“Jack and I will see if he is near the bar” Jim offered.

Freddy and Greg where already making their way to the crowd

“We should find Tim, maybe they are together” Suggested Cass squeezing my shoulder reassuringly.

“You’re right, let’s go” I replied with my heart slamming my chest. I knew there wasn’t any problem. People were chatting and laughing and I couldn’t hear any yells or fights, whenever Liam was he had to be safe.

I hoped so, and he was after all.

Jim was right. Liam was wearing one of the dresses he used in the beauty contest, he was at the left side of the stage, in line of people who awaited to climb the steps up to stare at everybody from above and had his face multiplied in the screens at the sides.

“Liam!” I said furious.

He didn’t respond, neither turned.

“Liam, we came after you, what the hell where you thinking?” I continued yelling at him from behind but still didn’t say a word or even seemed to notice our presence.

“Sunshine?” Cass asked gently.

Liam turned with a smirk on his lips and I almost slapped him.

“Are you insane?” I said before I even had a chance to think it.

“Excuse me?” Liam replied irate.

“Here you are” Jim joined us. “Why you didn’t tell us you were coming here?”

Liam narrowed his eyes as he glared at Cass, Jim and me. “I don’t need to give you explanations of anything you are not my mothers”

“Yeah? Then why you waited for everyone to get drunk to slip away?” Jim asked furious.

“James” Jack put a hand on his shoulder. “He is okay”

“It isn’t about being okay or not, Jack” I shot bitterly. “After the awful night we had almost a month ago, he came here doing drag without thinking that he might be in danger!”

“I’m safe! Don’t you see? Everything is fine!”

“I’m seriously Liam. You know what happened last night!” I grumbled.

“I know that too! I was scared too! It was me who almost got raped! Remember?” He shot back with glassy eyes.

I sucked a breath and exchanged glances with Jim. We didn’t know what to say.

“This is me betches! I’m scared. I’m scared every day of my life! But I can’t live in fear. I can’t hiding who I am just because those motherfuckers almost killed Anthony or because you are afraid too”

Cass parted his lips to reply but Liam was faster. “What’s the matter with all of you? How you became so paranoids? Everything is fine here! Everyone is having fun, and won’t let you ruin my night, is Karaoke night and I want to sing”

He swum his arm around and then I noticed it, and I’m pretty sure Jim did too.

Drags, there were many of them. Dancing, chatting having fun, telling jokes, listening to music, also I could see transgender boys and girls. Liam didn’t came to provoke a fight with anyone, he just wanted to have a funny night performing instead of living through a computer like all his life, but the amount of LGBT people in there wasn’t the most shocking thing, but the big haste of straights too.

There were guys with their girls kissing, holding hands, group of friends listening to the music and singing along, a bunch of local guys selling beer in a corner and even some old women staring at the show with expectant eyes, all of them were straight. Well, I guess they were. I don’t know all the straight people look the same to me.

It was like a safe haven.

Now I understood why some many unknown people supported us that day against Beverly, it wasn’t just because they liked the wolves, but because Sunset Valley was a friendly place. Where everyone had their own place and were free to be whoever they wanted to be.

I just left. I couldn’t just look at Liam in the eyes. I felt too stupid. I let my fears and Jim…Okay it was my fault for not paying attention. Anyway, I left my fears take over me, and didn’t let me realize that we were vacationing in a tiny version of San Francisco.

I made some people aside to get back to the beach house when I saw Derek and Allison walking right to me accompanied by Kyle and Kristie.

Derek’s concerned look eased when he saw me.

“Kristie called Allison and told her where you came” Derek said with a sympathetic grin.

I didn’t reply at first, instead I just addressed him and pressed my forehead in his chest.

He wrapped on his arms.

“I was so scared”

“He is fine”

“I know, but it sucks Derek. It sucks that something as stupid as him going out on his own, can get to be so scary”

“I know the feeling”

I snorted and we both laughed as we followed the rest to see Liam sing and Kristie asked if she had to pretend to be a Drag to be allowed to sing too.

…….

“Are you okay?” Jack asked concerned after I left.

Jim nodded.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes Jacky, I’m fine. I just…It was a misunderstanding. We thought that something bad might happen to him. It was stupid”

Jack put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head. “It wasn’t stupid, James. You were concerned about him, it is actually good that you care that much about your friends, even if you were wrong. It was something nice”

Jim blinked at him and made an effort to not get lost in his bright blue eyes as he processed his words. “Thanks. Now, let’s go to the hotel”

Jack cringed. “No! It is pretty early. I want to sing”

“Jacky I don’t know what they gave you to drink, you have been acting pretty weird and…” He snapped. “What? Do you want to sing here?”

Jack nodded cheerful. “I like to sing, though…I don’t have to wear a dress to do it right?” He asked as both of them turned toward the stage and saw a Drag queen that wore an orange wig trying to read the letters in the screen and sing at the same time.

Jim chuckled. “I don’t think so”

“Great. I forgot my heels back home” He joked and both of them laughed.

“What are you planning on singing?”

“I not sure. I want to sing something for you”

Jim’s heart stopped.

“Maybe we should make a duet”

Jim waved that idea away with his hand. “I’m not a good singer”

Jack squinted with a weird grin on his lips and stayed there staring at Jim for what felt like hours.

Jim sucked a breath.

Sometimes, Jack was…Just a mystery lathered in goodwill, and nice words. Again Jim was thinking if maybe Jack was trying to tell him something, maybe he just had to let everything flow and finally let himself go.

After all, Beverly was out of the game and Jack wanted to sing a song for him.

…….

“Are you feeling better?” Kristie asked as she joined me and Derek at the other side of the pier and handled me a cup.

I took it on my hands and sipped. It was rum.

“Where did you get this?” I asked.

“You don’t wanna know” She giggled and waved her hand for Kyle to come join us.

Kyle addressed us with a wide smile on his lips. “Damn, I never been in a gay club before. This place rocks”

“Are you sure you never been in one?” Derek let slip smoothly though I felt some irony in it and hell that I was eager to know too.

Now that everything was settled with Liam. Well, not exactly settled. I mean, I think he was still mad at me, but as long as he was safe he could hate me to death if he wanted. Whatever, what I’m trying to say, is that I felt better now, so my mind didn’t miss a chance to get back to Kyle kissing another guy, and even when I didn’t know how I exactly felt about it, I must admit that it was kind of exciting too.

“What?” Kyle asked and then I noticed that he was talking to me.

“Nothing” I said embarrassed and looked away.

“Could you guys look around and try to find Mya and Grace?” Allison asked absently as she scanned the crowd with her eyes.

“Is she coming over here too?” Kristie frowned.

“Yeah. We left them in the beach house after Stiles made his drama queen moment of the night”

What?

Derek didn’t let me respond. He spoke faster, and actually squeezed my arm to make me shut up. “He didn’t ask us to come, Allison”

“And yet we did” She giggled as she moved her head to the side to the rhythm of the music.

She was near to get wasted. “Oh there is she! Mya!” She cried aloud, however she stood and went after her instead of asking her to join us.

Derek shifted on his seat to talk about what we just heard, but someone interrupted him.

“I knew you would be here” Alan said smiling as he joined us. “How’s everything going?”

“Hey man, cool we’re on the finals” Derek replied patting his back.

“I know. I got banned too” Alan laughed.

“You helped too? That’s so sweet” Kristie interrupted.

“Oh, you’re that girl” Alan laughed. “I’m glad to see you’re okay”

“It wasn’t the big thing. I had worse”

“Hey guys! It’s good to see you’re here!” A voice said suddenly and we all turned.

I squinted.

“Derek, how are you buddy?” Hip asked casually as he patted Derek in the back.

Hip! I totally forgot about Hip. He wasn’t there! He wasn’t in the house when we decided to look for Liam.

“Alan” He continued nodding at the lanky guy. “Kristie” Added with a devilish grin as he kissed Kristie’s cheek and then looked up and… “Kyle” He mouthed soft and innocently as he shook Kyle’s hand and his eyes shone.

I balled his hands. He was going after him! I couldn’t believe him! I told him not to, but he was doing it anyway! Well, he thought he was doing it, because this time…Hell I wasn’t going to leave Kyle’s side in the whole night. Hip was on drugs if he really thought I was going to let him sleep with Kyle that easily.

“Where have you been? Having an orgy?” I asked bitterly. “Liam went missing”

Hip chuckled and smiled at me as if to confirm my joke. “He wasn’t missing, we came together here”

I should have known. “You could have sent a text you know! We were concerned!”

“Cut it off Mickey, Liam is a grown man” Hip replied bored.

“But…”

“Matty is right Stiles. Just forget about it” Derek suggested.

I blushed and nodded annoyed. Luckily Allison showed up in the right time.

“Where are your friends? Couldn’t stay?” Kristie asked looking behind Allison.

“Grace isn’t feeling well, so Mya thought it would be better if they came back to their hotel room. She will be back after Grace is asleep”

“Maybe she stay with here just in case”

“No, its fine. Grace just drank too much”

“Speaking of drinking. You need a refill” Kristie pointed as she stood.

I took my chance. “Here, take mine. I don’t like rum much” I offered handling the cup to Allison.

Allison took it with hesitant hands and sipped.

“Oh my god I love that song!” Kristie suddenly burst as she took Kyle by the arm and dragged him into the crowd.

“Yeah, it is really cool. Would you mind if I dance with your girl?” Alan said approaching Allison.

Derek chuckled. “Ask her. I’m not her owner”

Allison clutched Alan by the arm and followed Kristie and Kyle.

“Wait I’ll go with you guys” Hip added and the, I recalled he was there.

I sucked a breath and saw him address Kristie and Kyle to make a sandwich dance with them instead of finding someone for himself.

I clenched my teeth and fixed my eyes on him.

…….

They waited in the line before the stage for at least thirty minutes. They heard people sing all kind of songs, to country, pop, ballads and Jim even found out that there were drags who liked hardcore metal, or was it a guy wearing a Kiss custom?

“I got to pee. Can you save me the place?” The drag behind Jim and Jack asked and they nodded.

“She sings pretty well” Jack pointed out while they get back to the girl in the stage who was making the vocals of one of a dance song.

It was almost Jack’s turn.

“Are you ready?” Jim asked excited.

Jack nodded. “I’ve done it before, I just wish I had my guitar with me”

“It doesn’t matter, you will…” Jim’s voice trailed off. Everyone sang already. The long line was finally over and in minutes it would be Jack’s turn, then...

“Jack? Did Liam sign already and I didn’t notice?”

Jack’s swaying head shook and Jim rolled his eyes, it was silly to ask, considering that Jack was still a bit drunk. They had been there for a while now, he should be feeling better already, but he wasn’t.

“Maybe he left, but why?”

“Leave it, James” Jack put a hand on his shoulder. “He is fine”

“You’re right” Replied Jim chugging.

“I really needed to pee” The drag behind them showed up again. “Thanks”

“You’re welcome” Replied Jack politely as he turned and then shrieked in shock.

“What?” Jim turned on his heels and found Jack staring intently to the drag queen kissing a girl who just showed up in front of them.

“You’re…You like girls?” Jack asked astonished.

Jim jabbed him in the ribs.

The drag queen chuckled and the girl did too. “I’m straight actually”

“Then…Then why?”

“Jacky” Jim muttered.

“It’s okay” The girl replied smiling at Jim. “He lost a bet like two years ago and he had to go drag” She explained.

“Yeah, I thought it would be embarrassing, but I actually liked it”

“But…How can you like girls and…”

“Jacky, please” Said Jim embarrassed.

The drag pursed her lips an arched a brow thoughtfully. “I think it is about being confident with who you are. What really matters is how you feel and not how you look”

Jim grimaced as if the words were damaging his brain. Of course it was hard for him to get. Jack wasn’t used to places like that one, or interacting with new kind of people. It was an unexplored world for him, and he wasn’t being rude about it, just… Curious like a stubborn little boy.

The music finished, and even when Jack still had his puzzled look fixed in the couple, Jim pulled of his arm and forced him to get in the stage.

Jack shook his head to get back to reality and climbed the steps quickly. By the look on him Jim could tell he wasn’t feeling anxious at all. Actually he looked pretty excited about performing.

He went to the guy behind the console and whispered something in his ear.

When everything was ready, he went to the middle of the stage and faced the crowd as the intro of the song begun and some excited drags and girls got into the stage to accompany him as soon as they recognized the song.

Jack cleared his throat and brought the microphone to his lips. “This song is for a very special person in my life”

And when the blue letters appeared in the screen he started singing. Jim’s heart sunk, because it was Hello by Lionel Ritchie.

His hands trembled and his mouth went dry. The song was for him! And please I’m pretty sure I don’t need to explain the lyrics to you. The song was beautiful, the tune sweet and Jack’s voice was like honey.

Jim was melting,

The world emptied, and at some point Jim moved from the left of the stage and went straight in front of him, surrounded by an eternal darkness only eclipsed by the blinding light of Jack’s voice.

They were alone in there, in that perfect and wonderful moment. The world was still and everything was silent, it was just the two of them. No, the world wasn’t silent because it was filled with Jack’s voice. No, it wasn’t.

Jim snapped and now he realized he was staring to a frozen Jack who stared at the screen with wide eyes as the music continued and the everyone looked at him confused.

Jack’s bottom lip was wobbling. His free hand shook uncontrollably, and then Jim saw the pink letters in the screen.

It wasn’t the original version but Lionel’s Ritchie duet with Jennifer Nettles

Jack stepped back and almost fell on his back, he quickly spun and threw the microphone to the first girl he saw.

Then, he ran.

A breathless Jim found him twenty minutes later with his face sunk in the pillow in the hotel room as he cried whimpered.

“Jacky…Are you okay?” Jim asked as he approached the bed in the darkness and placed a hand on Jack’s back.

Jack jolted and backed away from his touch.

“What’s wrong with you?” Jim asked furious.

“Didn’t you see what happened?”

Jim nodded.

“Everyone will think I’m homosexual now” Jack spat bitterly.

Jim frowned. “Because of the pink lyrics?”

Jim didn’t reply. “Jacky, it was just a song!”

“It wasn’t just a song! You saw the way they were looking at me! They looked me as if I was a freak!”

“BECAUSE YOU STOPPED SINGING BECAUSE OF AN STUPID COLOR!” Jim bellowed out of himself. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

Jack stopped sobbing and looked at Jim embarrassed. “But…”

“It was a misunderstanding” Jim explained a bit more compressive. “No one was thinking you were gay, eighty percent of people there was gay, so…Who gives a crap if they think you’re gay or not”

“I care” Jack replied stubbornly.

“Look, do whatever you want, cry all night, act like a kid. I’m coming back. I’ll see you in the morning”

“Oh, okay. I guess I can go somewhere else on my own”

“You’re not going anywhere, you’re drunk and you’re acting like a child”

“You can boss me around” Jack snorted. “I won’t going back there, but I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep after what happened”

“Do what you want” Jim grunted and got out of the room slamming the door at his back.

…….

“I think Alan want’s to steal Allison for you” I sniggered as we saw him dancing very close to Allison.

Derek snorted. “You think so?” He scratched his chin and sipped from his cup. “I always thought that he was into you”

I stopped short and detached my eyes from Kyle and Hip to face him.

“What? You think that Alan is gay?” I blurted out shocked. “Derek? Why you never told me?! I always thought that Alan was hot!”

“I…” He brought the cup again to his lips. “I’m sure I told you”

“No! You didn’t! I can’t believe you thought Alan liked me and you didn’t say a thing”

Derek bit his bottom lip. “I wasn’t quite sure Stiles, I didn’t want you end heartbroken”

I gasped. He was right; it would have probably ended up that way if you considered my love life’s history.

“They seemed to understand each other pretty well” He pointed, and I had to get back to them and wait a bit for the crowd to disperse to understand that Alan was gone, and now Allison, Kristie and Kyle danced together immersed in a climax as their bodies spun and their hands flew while Hip just looked at them openmouthed.

“Yeah, it is fun to hang out with Kyle and Kristie, they work together pretty well. I liked because I don’t feel excluded, it isn’t about hanging out with one or the other, but enjoining as much as you can”

Derek blinked twice. “So, you don’t feel that way with Allison and with me?” He turned to face me.

“I didn’t….I mean, I like hanging out with both of you, it’s just different, they are like more…Um…I don’t know how to put it in words”

“Oh yeah? Then why Kristie wants you to sleep with him?”

“It isn’t about that, I don’t know it is just that…I think they aren’t just a couple, but best friends too” I said cautiously and then understood what I said. Crap. “I don’t mean that…”

He shook his head. “I get it Stiles” He affirmed looking back to them. “Allison looks like another person”

“How?” I asked intrigued.

“You know here, she isn’t that open. She didn’t like to go out, or parties, or loosing up. I thought the change was because she had to pretend for your project, but she really did. She isn’t a loner anymore” He said marveled as he saw her dance as if the world vanished around and it was just hear alone with the music.

He was right. Allison used to spend days with Derek in our room, go to the movies on a date, or just play scrabble, read a good novel. She wasn’t the same Goth we met almost two years ago.

“Hey Killjoy, come on join us”

I was then when I noticed Kyle’s presence right next to me.

I snapped and rolled my eyes. “Yeah Derek, Kyle is right. You should join them”

“I think we both know he is talking to you” Said Derek.

Crap. “I…. I’m not in the mood Kyle, maybe other day”

“But, come on! I just realized I never have seen you dancing before”

_Thank god._

Derek choked on his drink. “You didn’t. But Allison told me you used to go out to clubs all the time”

“Yeah, but Stily always had an excuse. It is almost as if you didn’t like to dance”

 _Congratulations Einstein._ “I don’t like to dance much Kyle, maybe another day, okay?”

“But…”

“Let him be, he doesn’t feel comfortable with people around. He gets pretty anxious on crowded places” Said Derek losing his patience.

“We can fix you, I’ll show you how, no one will pay attention, it will be just us having fun”

“He is not broken, he just doesn’t like dancing”

“Like you?” Kyle shot back.

“I like to dance, I have no issue with that” Said Derek bitterly. “But I rather being here with Stiles”

“So… Are you coming or not?” Kyle asked with puppy eyes.

I wanted to look away, but come on! HE WAS DOING PUPPY EYES! “No, Kyle. I’m serious. I’m not dancing”

He chugged. “Ok, I’m gonna have to dance here then” He said defeated as he got over the chair and started dancing right in front of me.

“What are you doing?!” I chocked a laugh covering my face embarrassed.

“If you’re not dancing with me, then I’m gonna have to dance with you” He cracked in laughs as he moved his tight butt very slutty and Derek pretended to be focusing on Allison and Alan to ignore the fact that Kyle’s ass bumped in and out right in front of his face.

Oh and well….If the butt was on Derek face, I’m pretty sure you can imagine where was pointing the other side. “Kyle, stop! You’re embarrassing me!” I said holding my ribs as I laughed harder.

He was an asshole! What the hell he thought he was doing? Oh my god! I felt so embarrassed and yet I couldn’t stop laughing.

“Why I’m embarrassing you? Ain’t like I’m doing a stripper or something” He laughed as he kept moving now up and down. The zip of his pants hypnotizing me until his shirt fell on my face and I snapped

Oh my god! He took his shirt! He took off his shirt and now he was after his pants.

“Kyle” I said probably as red as a used tampon.

“What?” He asked innocently.

“If I dance with you will you keep your clothes on?”

“See? It wasn’t that hard” He chuckled as he retrieved his shirt and dressed back.

I chugged as he took me by the hand and dragged me toward Kristie and Hip.

Hip winked at me when we arrived.

“Ok, now do what I do, and everything will be fine” Kyle explained. “And focus on me, forget about everyone else. They are too busy on their own things to pay attention to us”

I looked around as my breathing hitched, but then Kristie threw me a kiss and Hip and her surrounded us. I was safe. My friends were with me, and there was people who danced awfully too near us, no one was making fun of them, and no one was paying attention to them. Just me.

I tried to follow Kyle’s moves, though I’m pretty sure that I was doing a crappy attempt.

“Focus on me” Kyle kept saying as I looked down to see how his feet moved, but they were so fast!

“Loosen up Stily, you’re too stiff” Kristie patted me in the back. “Come on, you can do it”

“Oh my god! You really are trying to teach Stiles how to dance?” Allison asked sniggering next to us.

I bit my bottom lip frustrated as my feet kept failing, I finally gave up and turned, but Kyle grabbed me by the arm and pulled me toward him.

“Focus”

“I can’t Kyle, this is stupid. I won’t be able to do it”

“You can do it” He assured and took me by the chin to force me look at him in the eyes. “Focus on me, feel the music, let it go. Let it go”

Let it go.

I’m sure I was still doing a crappy job, but something in Kyle’s words made me forget about everything else. That _“Feel the music”_ put the plug on me, and now he was holding and acting like an ass as he danced all slutty and I wasn’t following him anymore, but doing my own interpretation of the electronic song.

I loosed myself, and now I was laughing and sweating and Kyle was pressing himself against me, and I had to pull back a bit before he noticed something awkward and inappropriate, but it didn’t matter much. It felt good, it was right. I was spinning and spinning and saw Kristie laughing happily as she stopped dancing with Hip to join our circle, taking my hand and Kyle’s until everything faded away.

“See? It wasn’t that hard” Kyle whispered in my ear and I nodded embarrassed.

Then his features tensed and relaxed in less than a second. “Finally, I thought he would never go”

I frowned. “Who?” I asked as Allison walked away to find a bathroom.

“Your friend” He pointed out as Hip broke off and went to sit back with Derek.

“What? You don’t like Hip?” I laughed. Yes! Yes! He didn’t like Hip at all! I was so happy that I could….Wait a minute I was already dancing!

“Don’t get me wrong Stily. I like your friends and everything, it is just that, that guy…I think he was trying to have sex with me last night!”

“What?!” I asked shocked, and I was really shocked! I thought he confused Paul with Kyle!

“Yeah, last night when I was looking for my friend Garret he went after me and started saying a lot of things and made me feel pretty awkward and he grabbed my balls and I told him to fuck off, and he apologized, but I don’t know Stily I didn’t like it at all. I would rather to have him away”

“Oh…” I let out shocked! Oh my…

“What are you guys talking about?” Kristie asked and then we realized she was dancing with a drag queen a couple of feet away from us.

“I was telling Kyle that I need a drink” I said aloud for her to hear and then turned toward Kyle. “Please?”

He chuckled. “Okay, I’ll be back, but you have to promise you will dance some more”

I nodded.

As soon as Kyle vanished, I slipped back to Derek and Matty who were laughing for some reason.

“So…You dance now” Derek said wryly.

“I need to talk to you” I said ignoring Derek as I fixed my eyes on Hip.

Since the bar was pretty far, it would take a while for Kyle come and go, it was the perfect moment!

Hip stood and followed me a couple of feet away from Derek’s noisy ears.

“What?” Hip frowned.

I let out the biggest smile in the history of well, you know what I mean. “I know you lied!”

“What?”

“I know you tried to have sex with Kyle and he rejected you!”

He paled. “That’s not true, you said it, it was a misunderstanding”

“Really?” I laughed. “You made us think you are flawless and everyone wants to have sex with you, but it isn’t true because Kyle let you down. He dropped your numbers, he made you fail, you aren’t irresistible!” I mocked and then I held my breath.

“Oh my god! You have been lying all the time!” I added in realization.

“That isn’t true. I can sleep with him whenever I…” He was saying but I interrupted him.

“You made us believe you always get laid, but you edited the videos! You deleted the people who rejected you! That’s why always delivered them so late! Because they were so many!” Oh my god this was so juicy!

“I’ll have sex with your precious Kyle, and then we will see who laughs in the end”

“You will do nothing! You hear me? Stay away from him!” I warned and left him there to get back to Derek with a lie about the arguing.

…….

Ok, this is silly, but Jim couldn’t just leave Jack alone to do whatever crossed his mind while he was in such state, so he followed him.

Ok that sounds awful when you read it aloud. Let’s just say, he accidentally went to the same place he went right after the door closed after him.

It was a bar, just a street away from the hotel.

It was useless to get back to the pier anyway. It was pretty far away and Jim just wanted to have some sleep, but he wouldn’t be able to do it until he knew Jack was safely resting next to him.

Ok that wasn’t good either. Let’s try again. He wouldn’t be able to sleep until he knew that Jack was safely asleep.

Never mind. Jack wandered around while Jim kept an eye on him from a cautious distance while the boy looked at the facades of the buildings until he found that little bar that wasn’t much crowded since probably half of the town was in the pier by then.

Jim didn’t come in because there wasn’t enough people to hide him, and instead he hide below the window and peeked in once in a while.

He got a text from Cass asking if Tim was with him, but he ignored it and kept his eyes in the empty streets, until a pair of girls passed by and giggled when they saw him hiding.

Yeah, it was pretty stupid, but what else he could do? He was really mad at Jack but couldn’t just leave him alone there.

 _It became a custom._ He thought with sadness. In matter of three days, their life turned upside down. Jim spent more time mad at Jack than nothing.

He kneeled to peek through the window.

It was a bright room with empty tables everywhere. There were three customers, each one with a table and all of them had their eyes fixed on the TV at the bottom of the room.

Jack was sitting in a stool before the bar as he laughed at something the barman said. From Jim’s point of view he could see that Jack was finishing a drink and there were three other empty glasses next to him.

How he got to drink that much so quickly? This wasn’t good.

Jim stood and opened the door. A bell rang over him and all the heads craned toward him.

Jack rolled his eyes as Jim sat in the stool next to him.

“What would you like to drink?” He barman suggested.

“I want dry scotch” Jim replied without looking at him.

The man went to the back side of the counter and kneeled to grab a bottle.

“What you think you’re doing?” Jim muttered.

“I’m having a drink. Is that forbidden now?”

“You need to go to bed” Jim grunted.

“I’m fine, James. Just let me alone”

“To what? Get even drunker and make the fool of yourself?”

“Am Am not grunk”

Jim chugged.

“Let’s go”

“Just a sec. I gink dis guy likes me” Jack slushed.

 _What?_ “He likes you?” Jim said openmouthed as he saw the barman cleaning a cup with a cloth to start pouring Jim’s drink.

Jim bitter climbed to the back of his throat.

“So what? What do you care if he likes you?” Jim teased fearing the answer. This was it. Jack was going to admit it, but it hurt. Because in the end he was wrong, it wasn’t him. It was someone else.

“He is giving me free refills. I can drink all I want and I just have to listen to him talk about his work”

Alright, Jim wasn’t sure if this was worse than what he was expecting. Jack was taking advantage of that poor gay barman who…

“Here” The man said putting the drink in front of him.

Jim took it and sipped a bit.

“You two are friends?” He asked curiously as he fixed his brown eyes on Jim.

He should be near his thirties. He got big round eyes, freckled cheeks and short lips. His hair was curly and short and his arms were almost as broad as his chest.

Jim felt intimidated.

“We are team mates” Jack replied casually and a knife went through Jim’s chest.

“Yeah, we are team mates, but we got to leave now. Big game tomorrow”

The man narrowed his eyes and looked at both. “It is still early, I’m pretty bored right now. If you stay until those three go I can give you free drinks” He offered.

Jim wasn’t going to fall on that. He wasn’t a slut, but Jack wouldn’t move and Jim didn’t want to leave him alone with this guy. Even when he was pretty mad at him, it scorched his guts to think that maybe if he left, something could happen.

He hated himself and his jealousy. Jack didn’t love him. He had to face that. He was a wrong man and he could do anything he wanted.

“See? I told ya” Jack patted Jim in the back.

Jim chugged and started listening to their talk.

Frank –The barman- was a pretty nice person. And here is the thing in all this, after listening them to talk for forty minutes, Jim’s gaydar eased and let him go.

That’s it.

Jim didn’t think that Frank was gay at all. There was nothing in him that would give him that vibe, and actually their talk pretty fluid and fun. They talked about the games, and how he reacted when he saw that afternoon’s fight.

He shared his impressions about tomorrow’s game and showed them to prepare many mixes.

The time flew and Jim didn’t realize how much he was drinking, actually his head started spinning a bit, but he was having a good time. Jack seemed to have forgotten the incident in the pier and now was chatting happily with Frank about how to prepare the perfect bloody Mary.

Jim didn’t realize when the rest of the customers left. He was too busy hearing to the talk about a celebration they made in May at Sunset Valley that brought tourists from all the world to realize that then were left alone twenty minutes ago.

“I think I still have a bottle of Chardonnay somewhere in case you guys would like some” Frank offered as he poured the last of whiskey in Jim’s cup. “I just need help to move three or four boxes”

Jim licked his lips. A Chardonnay sounded like a pretty tasty idea after all that whisky “I can help you” He said eager. Plus he needed to stand; his head was already spinning too much.

“It’s okay. I’ll go” Jack offered standing up and stumbling on his way to the door behind the counter where Frank awaited.

Jim nodded and focused on the TV. They were airing fast and furious, and even when it was half-way through the movie, he watched it. He needed to his eyes to start swaying and it might help.

He just hoped his hangover wasn’t that bad for next morning’s game.

…….

“Wow! I’m exhausted” Kristie said breathless when she sat next to me.

“You should be that guy wouldn’t let you go” I laughed after watching them dance for almost forty minutes.

“He is a really good dancer”

“Not as good as Stiles” Said Derek wryly.

I almost hit him, but I really didn’t want to fight and maybe…He wasn’t being that sassy, I mean I felt I didn’t suck much.

“Has Liam sang already?” Derek frowned and then I gapped.

“I…I guess, he was near the stage when we got here” I explained.

“So…We missed it” Derek exhaled a bit disappointed. “I just hope he doesn’t hang us for missing his show”

“Nah, if he asks just say he was fabulous, he won’t notice” I joked.

He bumped me in the arm as he sighed.

“Where’s Kyle anyway? Please don’t tell me he went all jealous because I was dancing with that guy” She complained looking around.

I shook my head. “He went to get a drink for me while you guys danced”

“He should be here already” She arched a brow.

“Maybe the line is too long in the bar. Don’t be so paranoid, he isn’t mad at you” I chuckled.

She took a sip from Derek’s half-filled cup and we kept our eyes fixed in the crowd. It was then when I saw Cass coming over.

“Hey guys. Have you seem Tim?”

Tim? I hadn’t seen Tim in the whole night. “Haven’t you find him yet?” I asked astonished.

He shook his head. “No. When he finally picked up his phone, he said he was screwing with some guy and told me to fuck off”

“He is an ass. You shouldn’t go after a guy like that. Look around there are plenty guys that would kill to be with you” Kristie advised as she winked at him.

Cass’ face gloomed. “He…Text me ten minutes ago asking me to get him home. I bet he is so wasted he can’t even walk”

I stared at him incredulous. “I can’t believe him! What is wrong with him? He isn’t the kind of doing that kind of crap!”

“Yeah…I guess it has something do to with Craig’s calls”

“Who’s Craig?” Kristie and Derek asked confused.

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll help Cass find him” I said bitterly as I stood and followed him.

According to Cass, Tim told him he would be waiting for him near the gazebo in the middle of the pier. So even when Cass told me he wasn’t there, I decided it would be a good place to start.

He roamed the placed with our eyes while Cass kept calling at his phone, but it was impossible for us to reach him. Apparently he turned off his phone, or his battery died. Either way we couldn’t contact him.

After twenty unsuccessful and stressing minutes or searching uselessly we were starting to feel anxious. I have started fearing the worse, but I didn’t want to show how bad my concern was, because I knew Cass probably felt ten times worse than me, and after the awkward scene earlier that night with Liam, I thought it would be better to keep a positive mind.

It was weird to see Cass that way. I mean, he wasn’t crying or anything, and of course he was a shy big and muscled teddy bear. But I could easily say that he was doing his best to keep a hold on himself, but the more quiet and focused he looked. The more angry and scared I could feel he was.

At the end we gave up. Well, not literally. We agreed to meet in the entrance of the pier if any of us found him and split.

I wandered around for a while, still not having luck at all. Until ten minutes later I got a text from him telling me that he just talked to Tim who told him to meet by the marquees below the pier. I went to one of the security bars and peered down to find out that there was some kind of private party in the shore.

Somehow I made my way out of the tight thong and walked away as the lights started to fade and fought to find my way from the pair to the rocks that took to the beach. I almost broke my neck when I slipped twice in the uneven slope, so I decided to find a safe path down while I wondered how in the hell Tim got there if he was so drunk he couldn’t walk.

I finally found a sandy path among the rocks that took down to the beach and while I went down, a jittering shadow at my left gave me the creeps and I shrieked taken aback. When I craned my neck to watch at the dark patch casted by the pier I sighed relieved when I saw it was just a couple undressing hastily under the rocks.

I covered my mouth to giggle when my heart shuddered.

“Liam?!” I said shocked when I recognized the wig he was wearing that night.

It was definitely him. I said because he jolted and pushed the guy on top of him back as he jerked his head toward me embarrassed.

“What are you…?” He was saying, but I wasn’t paying attention, instead I fought against the heart attack I almost got when I saw…

“Alan?” I gapped. “You’re gay?” Oh my god! Derek had been right!

Alan took his hands from Liam’s bra and faced me squinting. “Stiles! What are you…? Of course I’m not gay… I…”

I arched a brow amused. “Really? Do you’re not about to have sex with…”

He shook his head. “Of course I know, but she got her surgery” He turned to face Liam. “You did. Right?” Now I could see some fear in his eyes.

Liam looked at me and then at him as his bottom lip wobbled.

“What are you talking about? That’s my friend Liam! You met him yesterday at the beach house!” I pointed out.

Alan jerked taken a back. He lost his balance and almost fell all the way down to the beach if it wasn’t by Liam who caught him in time.

“You…You told me. I thought you didn’t have you’re…” He pointed at Liam’s legs.

Liam brought his dress up to cover his bra and chest. “I never said anything. You just assumed I did!” He defended himself.

Alan shook his head and stepped to the side to stay away from Liam. “I…” He tried to say when he passed by me, but he couldn’t find his words or maybe he just didn’t know what to say.

He was gone in a blink and now a red faced Liam was standing in front of me. “So? Why are you doing this to me?” He spat and now I could see how his eyes glinted almost as much as his lips.

“Me? What the hell where you thinking when you decided to have sex with him?”

“What’s the matter? He seemed nice! He treated me kind and…I thought he liked me!”

“You should have told him the truth! You met him yesterday at the beach house”

“There were hundreds of people in the beach house last night, and I thought he knew I was just doing drag!” Liam grumbled with frustration. “We probably would have done it anyway if you wouldn’t have showed up”

“Now it is my fault?” I said incredulous.

“Who else’s then? Everything was right before you came”

Great. I couldn’t seriously believe him. “You know what? Forget it. I’m sorry for ruining your night”

Liam looked at me pretty wounded. “Just fuck off” He said broody as he pushed me aside to get back to the pier.

I had to take a minute to recover and not go after him to tell him what an idiot he was for blaming me, but I thought better. He looked pretty mad at me, and even when I knew it wasn’t my fault, and that everything was a misunderstanding I felt hurt because he was mad at me. I think it was the first time it happened for real.

I finished climbing down to the beach, and before I found the marquee I found Tim. Snoring over a rock near one of the tents.

“You got to be kidding me!” I let out outraged as I shook his shoulder and he woke up.

“Stily” He said a bit disoriented.

I wanted to slap him. Can I say I did? Alright, I didn’t but I would have liked.

I grabbed him by the arm and pulled up. “Are you hurt?” I asked dryly as his body slumbered over mine and I felt overwhelmed by his weight.

“Am fine” He slurred at my ear as I slowly put his arm around my neck and started our way up.

“You’re not fine Tim. Why you did this? Why have you been acting so weird lately?”

He snorted. “Like you care”

“Of course I care asshole! I’m dragging you up to save your ass from being raped, or murdered. What did you take anyway?”

“Am nut shore”

I chugged. “Never min. Let’s just get out of here” I said breathing heavily as I started climbing back to the street to head to the beach house. I couldn’t believe him. I couldn’t believe any of the betches. Everyone was acting like insane! It was almost as if Sunset Valley casted a spell on all of them. And I mean all of them, just think about it. Freddy and Greg got back to the beach house after I found Liam in the pier. I mean…Freddy loved to dance! He loved to go out and expose himself! Oh and Cass, trying to be all dutiful and pretend he is cool about everything? Jim? Do I really need to explain him? And I shouldn’t mention Liam. I was pretty pissed at him by then…Oh and of course! Our star! Hip! The bastard who couldn’t take a no for answer.

We kept climbing for five minutes, when I noticed that his body started to weight more than it should and I shook him to wake up. I couldn’t do it by myself, and I should have called Cass before hauling him up. Our best option was to keep talking so he would stay awake to help me.

“Can I ask you something?” I asked trying to sound comprehensive. But you know me better, I have the magical power to even turn a praise in an insult.

“Is it about Craig?” He said a bit uncomfortable.

“Just for the record. It was you who brought him to the conversation”

He didn’t reply.

“Look Tim. I don’t know what happened between you both. But he doesn’t deserve you, and you definitely shouldn’t be getting wasted and yelling at people or making us feel concerned”

“Nofing happened” He said in a mutter.

“Then why you are so upset?” I said as I breathlessly reached the top and started our way back to the beach house. I just hoped Cass found us soon, I could have used some help.

“He won’t stop calling. He says he feels bad because he should have stayed, because I was a good friend and he won’t stop having nightmares about Anthony and us, and he is having a hard time”

“So? Do you really think Cass deserves that crap?” I said as we made our first turn in an empty street and trudged slowly in the sidewalk.

“What does he has to do with all this?” Tim asked more asleep than awake.

I arched a brow. “Seriously?” I snorted. “Don’t you see how much he is suffering because of you?”

“Cass doesn’t…”

“Oh cut the crap!” I said angrily. “We all know you have feelings for each other”

He tried to shake his head. Instead he knocked my jaw with his forehead and I lost my balance.

We both felt to the floor. I quickly stood and helped him stand. “Do you need a rest?”

He nodded and I helped him to get to a bench just a couple of feet away from us, where he sat to fight the heaving of his chest.

“Breath in and out, slowly” I advised.

He nodded and now shook his head again. “Cass and I are just friends” He managed to say between his gagging.

I chugged and rose my hand to pat his back in an attempt to help him breath, when I felt a pull on my arm.

A sharp-nailed hand grabbed me and made me turn. My heart quickened, but I calmed down when I realized it was just Allison. She seemed pretty drunk too, but at least not as much as Tim. With some luck I wouldn’t have to help her walk too.

“Great! You’re here. I need help with Tim” I said drawing my phone to call Cass.

Allison didn’t reply, instead she looked at Tim frowning and then pulled me by the arm and dragged me to the other side of the street, where a veranda showed the immensity of the ink black sea and the wind made us shiver.

“Stay away from him” She said before I could ask her what was going on.

I arched a brow and turned toward Tim who just started to puke on the sidewalk.

“Why? What you got against Tim?”

Allison looked at me furious. “Am not tolgin ‘out him! Stay way from Derek!”

“What? What is wrong with you?” I said shocked.

“With me?” She snorted with despise. “You think am sssstupid? I know what ya doing”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re pushing me away, from him. Because you loved him don’t you? You want me out of the way!”

“Allison…” I said trying to stay calm. “You drank too much! You’re just drunk and saying things that…”

She slapped me.

Oh bitch it hurt!

“What the hell?” I rubbed my cheek. “Why did you do that?”

“Am not stupid!” She cried. “You’ve been doing it since we got here”

“Doing what?”

“You went out yesterday’s morning and didn’t tell me to join you!”

“We just thought you could sleep some more and…”

“Don’t lie to me! Now you want to learn how to cook!” She mocked.

“It wasn’t me! Derek woke me up to make me do it!”

“Yeah, right!” She said with irony and the hiccupped. “Then why you made him go with you and Kristie that night when I wanted him to meet my friends?”

I couldn’t believe this. Who the hell she thought she was?

“He went on his own you know? He has something called free-will”

“No, Stiles’s-will. It is always Stiles’s-will. That’s why he went with you today instead of going on a hike with me”

“He went to support Jim! It was the reason of coming here in the first place!”

“No! He went because you would be mad if he didn’t!”

I lost my patience. “You know? If there is any problem with your relationship, you should check up yourself instead of blaming me! It was you who let him down and all of us for Mya and her friends”

“It was you! It was you who didn’t want us to hang out together! Because you wanted Derek all for yourself! I should have known this would happen when I met you! You’re obsessed with him, but you can’t have him. Because he is not gay Stiles, and not in a million years, even if we break up, he will ever love you”

My heartbeat quickened and my mind clouded. I swallowed the lump on my throat and felt the heat burning my cheeks. This wasn’t word vomit, she really thought that! Actually it seemed she always felt that way about me!

I fought back my tears and snorted. “What’s the matter?” I mocked. “When…And let me clear you this, not IF but When he breaks up with you, anyone can show up, but we still be friends, because we have always been and we will always be best friends and just because you went psycho, it doesn’t mean I have feelings for him! Okay? He is my best friend! That’s all”

“Don’t play the fool with me! I know you kissed him! I know you love him! But guess what? He doesn’t love you back!”

Bitch. That was an old wound. “For Christ Sake Allison! We were seventeen when it happened!”

“Seventeen? He told me you were thirteen! Who’s lying then?”

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t know! It happened years ago I can’t even remember! You seriously are out your mind! Stop being acting like a lunatic, and instead of ranting who I kiss and who I don’t…You should worry about yourself” I warned glaring at her.

“What…What that’s supposes to me?” She growled.

“That I know about the kiss”

She paled and grimaced as if she just swallowed a bitter pill.

“What…What…I don’t know what you’re talking about” Suddenly she wasn’t drunk anymore.

“Really? I got it on video” I lied with a mocking grin.

Desperation tears filled her eyes, and now her whole body shook.

“Stiles…It isn’t what you think, we were just fooling around and the alcohol…”

“Yeah, how easy to blame it to the alcohol”

“Please Stiles don’t tell Derek. It was a misunderstanding”

I looked at her with an arched brow. She was mine. “A misunderstanding? Like when slapped me minutes ago?”

Her breathing hitched and the tears ran down as she look at me with pleading eyes. “Please Stiles, I love Derek, please don’t do this to your best friend”

“I’m not doing anything. You did it yourself” I said triumphant.

“No please, it was nothing I swear. Kyle and I talked about it already. There is nothing to worry about”

“Oh my…You told Kyle?!” I said shocked. “He has known all this time and…”

Her face went even paler. Now her tears mixed with her sweat and she looked at me as if I was the scariest thing she had ever seen in her life.

And she was right.

“YOU ARE A SLUT!” I roared as I looked at her overwhelmed. It was too much.

“I won’t let you…” She rose her hand to slap me again but I caught her before she could even try.

“When you kissed him?”

She looked around as if trying to find some help. “I…I thought you were talking about him!”

“I was talking about Kristie! What? You’re bisexual now? You like both, or you just feel like sleeping with every moving thing like Hip”

She jerked her hand free and sat on the floor to weep holding her legs with her arms. “I’m sorry, okay? I was drunk! I don’t know what I was thinking! I didn’t kiss any of them, they kissed me!”

“When? When…You kissed him?” I asked with shaky voice. My mouth went dry and now a tsunami of emotions exploded inside me.

“Stiles it…”

“ANSWER ME!”

“An hour ago. When I went to the bathroom”

I opened my eyes wide. It was right after I sent Kyle to get a drink for me. That was what took him that long.

“I love Derek, Stiles. I swear I do, it was just a mistake…I…”

“You love Derek, you love Kristie and you love Kyle now” I pointed sharply.

“I don’t love Kyle and Kristie”

“Really? You think I’m that stupid? Why Kristie has been acting like crazy since we met Mya? She knows something happened there. Didn’t it?”

“It was in high school it doesn’t count”

I scoffed unable to believe what I just heard. “Oh it doesn’t count? I seriously can’t believe you”

“I was just experimenting, it was a stupid game, nothing else”

“Yeah? Tell that to Kristie”

“Kristie can’t say a shit, she told me she didn’t like girls!” She replied furious.

“Yeah? And you just believed her? Come on! Everyone noticed she is crazy jealous about Mya”

“She is jealous because she is my friend!”

“She is jealous because she knows you slept with Mya this afternoon in your _hike_ ”

“THAT’S A LIE!”

“Really? I don’t know. Nothing seems clear now about you” I teased. “Well, there is only one thing that makes sense in all this mess you made”

“What?” She said looking at me frightened as tears ran on her cheeks.

I felt bad, I felt betrayed and awfully sad and hurt, and I wanted to believe in her, I wanted to forget what I just learned about her and Kristie and Kyle, but I couldn’t, I couldn’t let it pass. She slapped me, she accused me of being after Derek, and worst of all she wanted me out of his life.

“That you and Derek are done”

Her eyes went wide open and she started shaking her head frantically. “No, it was just a mistake”

“Stay away from him, you hear me? Stay away, or I’ll tell him what kind of snake you are. Just because you’re not sure of who you are doesn’t mean you got the right to play with him”

“You can’t tell him!” She almost commanded.

“Oh honey, I won’t do it myself” I laughed hard and loud. Cruella de Vil would have been proud of me. “You will”

“No! I can’t tell him. Stiles…”

“Don’t tell him if you want. Say whatever comes to your mind. That you thought it better and you aren’t meant for each other, tell him that you need a break, it’s not me it’s you. Whatever, but break up with him and he will hear it from me”

“Please…I’m sorry” She tried to grab me by my pant and I snorted and yanked it back.

“Good night, Allison” I finished and went back to the bench where Tim drowsed over his own vomit.

I sent a text to Cass to tell him we were on our way to the beach house and carried Tim on my back, breathing through my mouth to escape from the stench.

I helped Tim wash and put on new clothes. Getting myself busy on him was good to not think about what I just learned and how it changed things for all of us. Instead I stroked Tim’s hair as he faded into unconsciousness and pang overwhelmed me. He was a mess. Actually, we all were, there was nothing we could do than to wait for things to get better.

Cass showed up ten minutes later, and after thanking me with a concerned look on his eyes I left them alone.

I would have liked to stay, but I had enough crap to deal with. So, I went to my room and not surprised to find it empty. I went to bed. I was too tired, to exhausted and overwhelmed to get back to the party all I wanted was to have a full sleep night with no nightmares, all I wanted was to fall fast-asleep without thinking about Allison or Kyle or anyone, all I wanted was to go far away and leave them all behind.

And then I did. I went to a place where no one could reach me. I closed my eyes and flew away.

…….

Fast and furious was one of those things that never got old. Jim could watch it over and over again and still find it exciting. Even the ending credits made him feel like he was in one of those cars at high speed while the world faded away.

He finished his cigarette and brought his cup to his lips. He almost forgot he emptied ten minutes after…

FAST AND FURIOUS FINISHED!

Jim’s heart lurched, and right when he stood, the back door swum open and Jack stormed out as he rushed toward Jim.

Jim paled and put his glass on the counter. Jack grabbed his jacket from the stool and passed by Jim without looking at him. He went to the front door and vanished.

What…What could…No…It had to be a misunderstanding. Jim looked at the door in the back, Frank went out blinking confused and before he could say a word Jim ran.

“Jack!” He cried aloud when he saw the dark shape a street away from him. “Jack wait!”

Jack didn’t respond, he kept running for two more streets as Jim made his best to narrow the distance between them. “Jack!” He kept lunging out until Jack stopped to catch his breath by a lamppost.

Jim took his chance and addressed him. “What…What…What happened to you?” He asked breathing heavily.

“Nothing” Jack replied bitterly and prepared to continue his way.

Jim grabbed him by the shoulder and forced him to turn, but Jack yanked free and pushed Jim back.

Jim fell on his back and crashed the back of his head against the pavement. Pain blinded him for a second. “What is wrong with you?” He said angrily as he stood.

“Nothing. Nothing is wrong. Why you homosexuals have to make a big deal out of everything?”

“What? I was just asking if something happened to you considering that you stayed locked in a room with a guy you thought might have liked you and then you came out as if the place was on fire and didn’t even say a word to me!”

“Since when I need to give you any explanation?” Jack shot back furiously. “I go wherever I go”

“What happened in that room?”

“Nothing happened!”

He was lying. Jim knew and it hurt so badly. That was it.

“Okay, nothing happened. Then why you came out and you didn’t even…”

“That’s none of your business! You don’t have a boyfriend to boss around?”

“You know I don’t” Jim replied bitterly.

“Yeah? Where’s _Aidan_?”

“Who’s saying anything about Aidan? He is just my friend!”

“Yeah? What about Garret?”

“What? I’m screwing Garret too know and I didn’t know?”

“You tell me. You hug him all the time! You’re trying to turn him into a homosexual!”

“What are you talking about?”

“Stop pretending! Stiles told me how homosexuals convert others!”

Oh crap! Jim was going to kill me.

“You’re insane! Are you even listening to yourself? Why are acting this crazy all suddenly?”

“I’m acting crazy?” Jack snorted furiously. “Who’s the one who has been rubbing his homosexuality in front of everybody? That is way you brought me to that bar? To show me like so kind of trophy?”

 _What the…_ “Excuse me? You went here all by yourself! And if you thought that that guy was gay and still stayed there then…”

“THEN WHAT?” Jack roared.

“You know what I mean” Jim said dryly.

“Are you saying I’m a homosexual? Do I look like a homosexual to you? That is what you have been doing all the time since we got here don’t you?” Jack spat out of his mind as he started pushing Jim frantically.

Jim tried to defend himself but Jack kept attacking. He didn’t want to hurt him, but he would have to.

“That’s all you have been doing! You have been trying to convert me in a homosexual, because you’re in love with me. Because you’re obsessed with me” He continued pushing harder with every word.

Jim scoffed deeply wounded. “Who wanted to sing in that stage uh? Who wanted to sing me Hello by Lionel Ritchie? Who grabbed me by the waist last night and looked at me as if I was a steak?”

“You misunderstood everything! Because you’re sick” Jack shoved his hands on his pockets and tugged his phone out.

What was wrong with him? What was he doing now?

“Bev, please pick up the phone” Jack started whining. “I’m sorry. I’ve been stupid and…”

“What are you doing?” Jim said snatching the phone from him.

“I’m calling Beverly! I should have done it as soon as she left”

“Are you crazy? You said you didn’t want to marry her!”

“Of course I want to marry her. I was just mad! Now give me that phone!”

“You told me not to let you”

“I was wrong, now give it to me” Jack warned.

Jim just couldn’t take it anymore. It was more he could bear. He wanted to ruin his life? It was fine for Jim. He gave the phone to Jack and turned on his heels to walk away.

“See? Your plan didn’t work!” Jack laughed like crazy at Jim’s back.

Jim spun. “Whatever”

“Whatever?” Jack chuckled. “Why don’t you admit it James? Why is so hard for you to admit that you’re dying inside because you can’t handle the idea of me marrying Beverly?”

“I’m dying inside? Was it me who was crying on my room tonight because I’m a paranoid homophobic?”

“I’m not a homosexual... You better be careful”

“I said homophobic! Damn! You’re really obsessed”

“You make me sick”

“Said what you want Jacky. We both know very well what’s really going on here”

Jack’s face went even redder. “There is nothing going on. You’re just mad because you can’t face the idea of me being normal”

“Said it until you believe it. But you know better. You know why you have been acting all this crazy this three days. Get mad at me or anything you want. I don’t care, I just…Need to say this. Jacky…”

“My name is Jackson”

“I’m sorry Mr. Whittemore” Jim bowed at him. “But I think you have feelings for me”

That was it. He finally said it. With his heart pounding and the lump choking, but he did it.

Jack froze. For a brief second Jim thought he was processing his words. Accepting what everyone knew and Jim didn’t want to believe until that night, but then it was chaos.

Jim was on his back and Jack on top of him, pushing him in the face until Jim smelt blood and something shuddered inside him. It was unfair. He didn’t deserve it.

He pushed Jack back and stood. Kneed him in the stomach. Jack surround it with his arms as the air escaped his lungs.

Jim felt the tears burning his eyes, but he wouldn’t let them out. At least not in front of him.

Jack caught his breath and threw himself over Jim, but Jim was faster and with a single flick of his wrist hit him in his Adan’s apple and Jack fell backwards struggling to breath.

He rolled to stand and something came out of his pocket. Many somethings actually. Tiny and multicolored pills.

Jim stopped short and held his breath.

Now everything made sense.

“Ecstasy? Where did you get it?”

Jack choked for another minute until he could talk. “I’m sorry” He whined grabbing Jim by the waist to help himself stand up. “I just wanted to be cool”

“Where did you get them?” Jim demanded fearing the worst.

“They were in the bags Kev gave you. You didn’t notice when they fell” Jack said with remorse.

“Stay away from me” Jim pushed him away.

“You’re not better than me! You drugged the coach!” Jack went back to attack mode.

“Fuck you Jack! Fuck you a thousand times! You’re a horrible person”

“I’m not…I’m good…I just wanted to be cool like you!”

Jim shook his head. “No, I’m not like you”

Jack snorted. “We both know you’re lying”

Jim licked his lips and tasted his bitter tears. “You’re the only one lying to himself tonight Jackson” And Said so he resumed his way.

“James wait, please” Now Jim wasn’t hearing crazy asshole Jack, but the boy he felt in love with once in another world. His voice was gentle and painful to heard, so he turned even when everything inside him told him not too.

He stumbled toward him and for a second Jim thought he was going to hit him.

Jack’s sapphire eyes sparkled below that lamppost. They stared at each other for what felt like ages, until Jack reached a hesitant hand and threw himself over Jim.

Jim didn’t do anything as Jack wrapped his arms around him and pressed his forehead against Jim’s shoulders tightly.

“I can’t hold it anymore James. People are talking”

“I know”

“Everyone is saying I dumped Bev for you. Even she said it”

“I know” It was all Jim could answer.

“I don’t know what to do”

“Actually. I think we both know” Jim said closing his eyes hoping it would make his words less painful.

He was wrong.

“But James…I don’t want to let you go” Jack whispered at his ear in a sob.

“I’m so sorry Jacky” Jim mumbled with a pasty voice as Jack looked up and they pressed their sweaty foreheads together. “But I can’t do this anymore”

“James…I…”

“Good bye Jacky”

…….

My wings got torn to pieces and then I fell on a bed made of spongy clouds and tickling fingers. That’s when I woke up.

“What are you doing?” I asked giggling as his hands massaged my back softly and even when it burned a bit, it was a pleasing feeling.

“What do you think? I told you to use sunscreen. You never listen” He replied gently as he continued massaging my back with the cream.

“Are…You okay?” I asked cautiously when my memories when I was finally swept by my memories.

“It should be me asking that question” I pointed out. “Why you didn’t come back?”

So…He didn’t know yet? “I felt tired. I guessed you would like to stay a bit longer” I lied.

“I went after you, but when I couldn’t find you I came here”

I started sobbing.

“Hey…” Derek whispered with concern as he sat on the left side of the bed to meet my eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Everything is a mess Derek” I swallowed my lump. “All the betches are mad at me”

“Why?” He frowned.

“I lost track” I chuckled with tears in my eyes. “I wish I could go somewhere far away from here. Where I can forget everything and everyone”

“Yeah, we could rent a place in an island and make indie movies for local entertainment”

 _It would be nice._ “It would be nice”

“Everything will be fine”

 _No. It won’t._ “I hope so”

“Of course it will. When I ever been wrong about anything?” He laughed.

I giggled and then breathed out my heaviness. “Derek? Would you stay with me tonight?” I asked hesitantly. Jim and Liam could find another place to sleep.

“Always”

I saw an apple-tree in a shiny day swaying in the wind. Its apples started raining down over me, but they didn’t hurt. They passed through me as if I was a ghost, they smelled ripe and crusty.

“Wake up!” His voice said angrily and I tossed.

“What do you want?” I asked moodily as I opened my eyes and Jim stopped shaking my shoulder.

Where was Derek? Was it a dream?

No, I was naked from the waist up and I could feel the scent of the cream over me.

“I want to go”

I rubbed my eyes and then noticed that Jim was stirring. “Are…Are you okay?”

“Just let’s go betch” He…Pleaded?

“Jim…You’re scaring me”

“Everything is fine, I just want to go home”

“What. Why? What about the championship?”

“I don’t care, okay? Are you driving or not?” He asked losing his patience.

“Me? You never let me touch your car”

“I…Can’t drive. Okay? Just cut it off and tell me if you will take me home” He looked away.

His hands shook uncontrollably.

I grabbed them in my hands. “What about the others? Why don’t we wait until morning and then…”

“I don’t want to be here another minute”

“Did you tell the others?”

‘They are too drunk to even find their legs”

I sighed. “Well, at least let me tell Derek we’re leaving so…” I grabbed my phone and noticed that the battery died.

“He left already” Jim explained.

“What? He left…Why? He told me…”

“I don’t know. Allison and he had a fight an hour ago. They packed their things and left”

What? And he didn’t wake me up to tell me? Why he did that? What that bitch said to him?

I went to the bathroom to wash by face and brush my teeth. Ten minutes later Jim was getting our stuffs in the trunk of his car and I turned on the engine.

“Are you sure about this?” I asked one last time and he nodded.

It was a long and silent way. I tried to make Jim talk, but he pretended to be sleeping half of the time. When I finally went mad and threatened to stop the car until he started talking he sighed. Then our talk started.

Jim told me everything, and by everything I mean everything, like the fact that he was in love with Jack, the way he behaved in Sunset Valley, how he took him by the waist, the things he said. The promised he forced Jim made and their last talk before Jim finally decided he had had enough.

I didn’t yell at him even when I wanted to. It wouldn’t be nice considering of how much he seemed to be suffering even when he pretended to be tough. And let’s face it, it would hypocrite of me to tell him how wrong he was, when a dagger went through me after I recalled that Hip tried to sleep with Kyle, and that Allison kissed him.

Can you hate and love someone at the same time? I guess the question isn’t if you can, but how can’t you.

I wasn’t in love with Kyle, I just had mixed feelings about friendships and attraction. That was all. Or at least that was the safest thing to believe.

When Jim was done, it was my turn to talk, and almost provoke him a heart attack when I told him about Allison, Kyle and Kristie’s love triangle, and how I blackmailed Allison to breakup with Derek and my theory of her making up a lie to make him mad at me.

After that we just changed the subject to Alan and Liam, and then skipped to Tim and Cass, to finally end up in Hip’s lies, which brought us to Paul and Jim took the chance to tell me what he said to him and the fight they had.

Again I didn’t say a word. I guess I was just exhausted, I guess I just needed a rest from all that crap of the project. What I expected to be my vacation, ended up being more stressful than the past six months together.

I left Jim at his loft when the sun was rising and then he let me take his car to my dorm so I didn’t have to walk with my suitcase all the way there.

I thanked him and left.

The campus was quiet and a bit gloomy in that silvery morning. I grabbed my luggage and walked in the lonely parking lot all the way toward my dorm until I got into my room.

After coming in, I took off my shoes and left my luggage on Derek’s bed to grab the charger and connect my phone. As soon as it turned on it started blaring and an unknown phone number popped in the screen.

I took it to my ear and sat on Derek’s bed.

“Hello?”

“Stiles? Is that you?” An oddly familiar voice said at the other side.

“Yes?” I said a bit confused.

“Great! I knew you had your number somewhere” The voice said excited.

I didn’t respond.

“It’s Martha your front door’s neighbor” She explained and now I knew why I recognized that voice. It was the lady who lived in front of my house and who knew everything about everyone in the neighborhood.

“Hey Mrs. Johnson. I don’t want to be rude, but…”

“Oh honey its okay. I just wanted to talk to Thalia”

 _Derek’s mom?_ “I’m not at her house Mrs. Johnson. I moved into college two years ago” I giggled as I stood from Derek’s bed to cut and get back to mine.

“Oh” She gasped.

As I faced Derek’s empty bed before hanging the call. Her last words drilling inside me.

“Haven’t you heard?”

 

[Here is a song that matches how I felt while I wrote this. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3I9OdHzwiRk)

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, before you say that Jack's behavior didn't make any sense in this chapter, let me say that...It happened that way in real life.


	6. BROKEN HOUSE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I don't know what to say, work family and depression. They all mixed up and stretched this for so long.

## BROKEN HOUSE

 

I’m sorry. I just…Don’t know how to continue.

I remember everything that happened that night. I just… Would rather not to.

She hung the phone and I stood. –I fell on my knees as fast as I heard the news-

The sun was almost fully up when I came out of the dorm at high speed.

The campus was completely silent and lonely. There wasn’t a soul on sight and it gave me the creeps. I felt like I was in another world. Yeah, it had to be that. It wasn’t real. It had to be a dream. Or better said.

A nightmare.

I took Jim’s car to drive to the hospital, but as soon as I hit the gas and scrapped the paint against the fence going out of Oakwood’s fields, I realized that I wouldn’t be able to make the trip by myself.

I don’t know if Jim would kill me when he saw his car. I didn’t really care actually. I didn’t even bother to listen to the people in the street that yelled things at me as I drove messily toward Jim’s apartment.

By the time I stopped the car before the building’s entrance my phone’s battery had die again, so I climbed down and ran up. The security man almost stopped me when he saw me, but then he recognized me and let go.

As in every other situation where you feel the world is falling apart. Stairs get new steps, miles turn into continents and life becomes a faint hope. And the thing about hope is that it is based on uncertain possibilities.

Jim wasn’t asleep. I guess that it didn’t matter how much he tried to lay down on his bed. Sleep wouldn’t come that easily after the crappy night that Jack gave him. Somehow I was relieved by that then, though a bit concerned too.

He opened the door and I broke.

I opened my mouth and I just croaked.

I said “Help me” But all I heard was a whimper.

And then I crumbled.

I’m not sure how I managed to asked him to take me home.

At first he thought that I meant my dorm, but after five minutes of listening to my nonsense he understood that I meant to my hometown.

It was then when his heart skipped a beat and he looked at me asking for Derek.

I almost passed out when he said his name.

And with my breathing still hitched I found a way to shake my head.

“No” I whispered. “It is not him Jim! It can’t be him!” I said frantically.

It wasn’t Derek. I just had lost any capability of communicating with other human being. Every time I tried to speak a word I just made a high pitched and scaring noise. But I knew the truth inside me, I just didn’t know how to explain Jim that Derek was okay. Well, of course he couldn’t be okay.

Not after what happened.

The fresh air helped me. As soon as we left the city behind and the cool air of the woods met us, my breathing eased and I managed to say whatever thing crossed my mind to keep Jim awake while he drove.

I’m happy Mrs. Johnson likes gossiping so much. Because it helped me to see the whole picture and understand everything before getting a heart attack.

“You feeling better?” Jim asked when I finally calmed down and got my head out of the window to suck a breath.

I nodded.

“Did something happen to your parents?” He asked with hesitation.

I shook my head.

“Then was it…. Derek?”

I always thought that Derek and Jim didn’t like each other much, and even got to think that one hated the other, but the concern in Jim’s voice, made me realize that the rudeness between them, was just another way to express sympathy.

I shook my head.

“Then…” He started confused.

I cleared my throat and started to tell him what Mrs. Johnson told me through the phone-call an hour ago.

The night before, at nine pm. Derek’s mom discovered that Susie swallowed a coin.

It wasn’t a big deal, yet she tends to be a very dutiful mother who isn’t selfless only with her children but the rest of the world too. Does it sound familiar isn’t it? Yeah, they are so alike that there can’t be any doubts they are mother and son.

Anyway. The thing is that she got Susie in the car and took her to ER.

Thirty minutes after she left. Mrs. Johnson peeked through her window as my dad parked his car and got inside the house tumbling.

Fifteen minutes later, she peeked again when she heard all the noise. They were yelling at each other pretty loud, and they were starting to make half-neighborhood feel uncomfortable in their own houses. But beyond uncomfortableness, their next door neighbor was feeling a hard displeasure that drove him to get out of his bed, even when he wasn’t supposed to do it when his wife was out of home.

Derek’s dad walked out of his room. Mrs. Johnson supposed he planned to get downstairs’ phone to call my parents and politely ask them to keep their dirty laundry for themselves. But he never make it downstairs.

At least not standing.

Mrs. Johnson told me he probably had a heart-attack. But she seldom left her home, so she didn’t exactly know Derek dad’s medical record.

The headaches started when we were ten. In the beginning they just left with painkillers, or at least that’s what we thought.

He started lying. He didn’t want anyone to feel concerned and also he felt scared. Scared enough to don’t dare to go to the doctor. I know, it wasn’t the wisest thing in the world. Mr. Hale acted like a child, but it isn’t easy to fear for your health and your future, so I think I understand his decision to fool everyone about his well-being.

 On Derek’s thirteen birthday he had a breakdown. It was right when he was opening his presents. You can imagine how scaring it can be to see your father pass-out in front of you in your birthday party with a house full of kids.

We were too young by then to be allowed to accompany them to the hospital. But we found our way and discovered the truth. Luckily it wasn’t as bad as we expected.

He had a pretty bad case of migraines. He would be alright. We all were so relieved.

When we were fifteen he was declared unable to work. His migraines got so bad to the point that now they never left.

He got many exams and studies, but there wasn’t anything else to do or say. The conclusion was always the same, he needed to rest. He needed quietness and peace.

  And now…

“Wait betch!” Jim said angrily when I almost threw myself out of the car still on movement.

I couldn’t wait for Jim to go to the parking lot. I needed to see him. Even when I heard Mrs. Johnson’s words and repeated them to myself over and over again, I couldn’t stay calm. I still feared for Derek’s live. I needed to see him alive. I needed to touch him and now he didn’t left me. He wouldn’t do that to me.

I tripped when opened the passenger’s door and ran out of the car.

The sky was gray and yellow, just like I felt inside.

I got in and dodged an Ambulance that prepared to park outside the ER door.

I hated hospitals. I still do. Nothing good has ever came of visiting one of those places. I felt a lot of respect for the people that got to go there every day to see people die and get used to it.

When I said Hale to the man behind them counter in the entrance he gave me the indications and I moved as fast as I could. Once again corridors stretched and now I walked in the middle of an endless procession of sullen faces and hitched breathings.

The scent was awful. Whatever cleaning products people use on hospitals are constant reminders of nightmares, decay, helplessness and dead.

The surgery room number seven was at the end of the fourth corridor in the left on the second floor of the hospital. When I took the curve I felt his presence and without looking with my eyes I found him.

He was sitting on rigid metal chair right before the double-doors with the number seven written in the middle.

I started my way toward him when he suddenly cocked his head toward me and before I realized I was throwing my arms to his neck.

 “Derek” I mumbled against the deafening silence.

He cleared his throat and he let go to look at me directly in the eye.

I peeked inside his and I don’t know what I found there.

He put both hands on my shoulders and suddenly the air wasn’t cold anymore.

“There is nothing to worry about. My dad is okay, he hit his head really hard. There was blood on his left ear, but he made it here alive. We still don’t know yet how he is doing and we can just hope everything will be fine” He leaned his head as if asking me to understand.

A shiver ran down my spine and I swallowed the lump on my throat. I just felt like he was asking me not to cry.

I had to be strong.

I must confess I’m an awful person. Part of the horror I felt inside me vanished as soon as I saw Derek. Now that I could see him standing there, breathing and confirming that it wasn’t him getting his brain cut inside that room, I felt a bit relieved. I know it was awful, I hate myself because of it. I still was deeply concerned about his dad, though. I really was, but now the pain wasn’t that deep and it shouldn’t. I should have been equality terrified and whiny, but it wasn’t that way.

And it felt terrible.

…….

All the pain Jim was feeling vanished as soon as he saw me standing in front of his door.

He wasn’t used to be the attaching type. The first time he ever felt caring about someone was Gabe and you know how that ended.

The second time he felt like trusting and developing something beyond just a funny treatment and such was Jack. And again we know how that ended to.

He loved his friends, he just…Didn’t realize how hard it would be to see one of us in such wrecked state. A wave of concern and a new kind of pain was drilling his head.

His guts churned and his mouth felt dry. The way the tears ran down my cheeks almost broke him. When I tried to speak asking for help a shiver ran down him. He feared for me, and now that he knew the truth he feared for Derek.

He was afraid of facing him. He would have given anything to make us smile again, that’s why he felt unease and frightened. He wasn’t a doctor, it was beyond his control whatever happened to Derek’s dad and someone he felt guilty, he felt the responsibility to keep his friends safe and happy and didn’t know how to do that in this moment.

It took him fifteen minutes to get himself together and get out of the car. While he walked inside the lonely and somber parking lot he wouldn’t stop thinking about his parents, what it meant to have to face and think about mortality when you are young.

He loved his mother so much that the idea of a world without her made him feel breathless, and it was just a thought.

Derek’s dad couldn’t die.

He sucked a breath and walked to the front door.

When he got inside his phone buzzed on his pant. He tugged it out.

“Why you didn’t came to training?” Read Jack’s text.

Jim shoved his phone again in his pants to ask the receptionist about Derek’s dad.

On his way to the second floor, he couldn’t help noticing how easily Jack left his mind as soon as I knocked his door. It was funny how life had those tiny twists that changed everything without warning.

He found us sitting before the surgery room.

The closer he got with every step, and anxious he felt. He didn’t know what to do, or how to approach Derek, but he couldn’t just runway from this situation.

He had to be strong.

The first thing he noticed, was how straight Derek’s back was. “Hey” He mumbled hating himself for not knowing exactly what to say.

We meet our eyes and Jim felt the urgency to runway. That wasn’t his place. Tragedy wasn’t part of his vocabulary. Even when Ash’s mom died things didn’t feel this wrong. He felt responsible and it was driving him crazy. He didn’t know what hurt him much, if Derek’s still body, or the crappy job I was doing to hide my emotions.

“Thank you for coming” Derek breathed out slowly to mechanically stand and approach Jim to give him a hug.

“It’s the least I could do” Jim replied feeling his words empty and pretentious.  He hated himself right then. He wanted to do something for Derek and for me, not just…Stand there arms crossed waiting for the news, whatever they were, to arrive.

“He will be fine” He whispered reassuringly.

“I know” Derek replied politely but Jim could easily tell he didn’t really believe in his words.

When they let go Derek came back to his place next to me, then Jim occupied the other seat and his phone buzzed again.

He tugged it out to check the text, but before he had a chance to take a look Derek was standing in front of him.

Jim looked up and Derek put his hands on Jim’s shoulders as if to make him steady.

“There is nothing to worry about. My dad is okay, he hit his head really hard. There was blood on his left ear, but he made it here alive. We still don’t know yet how he is doing and we can just hope everything will be fine”

Jim…Blinked and nodded a bit intimidated. He then felt a bit embarrassed and nodded to Derek. “Understood”

Derek blinked twice and then got back to his chair.

Jim then realized he was holding his breath and let it go as he unlocked his phone to check the next text.

“Where are you? The coach is crazy mad”

Jim turned off his phone and shoved it again in his pocket.

…….

Despite the last time we ended up on an ER –just weeks ago- I started counting time. There is something odd about those places, it doesn’t matter how much you look around, how many people pass by feeling sorry for you in their minds, or how many brochures you read. When you check your watch, only a second has passed, and that second repeats itself over and over again until it becomes two seconds.

In those situations I guess there is some kind of payment or exchange, it isn’t just about how much blood the person you wait for loses, but also about the amount of time you can wait without becoming medically insane

We had to stay strong.

When a second became three and then six minutes I lost my mind and decided to speak, or else I would lost my mind. Also, speaking could help. I still needed to calm my nerves and with some luck time would pass by faster and before we realized we would be holding Derek’s dad and telling him how much we loved him.

“Umm… Does your mom…” I started.

Derek nodded. “Of course. She called the ambulance and came here with him” Derek replied quietly without detaching his eyes from the door.

“Then…”

“She went to look for Susie. She left her with Mrs. Johnson. Do you remember her? The old lady who never leaves her house?”

“Yeah…I do” Now everything made sense. “Actually, she was the one who told me”

Derek wasn’t blinking. That was odd…I had been staring at his eyes intently, but it never happened.

“I’m sorry Stiles…I just…”

“No, no, no, no… It’s okay. I understand. Really” I hurried to reply embarrassed and then he quickly cocked his head toward me and we met our eyes.

“There is nothing to worry about. My dad is okay, he hit his head really hard. There was blood on his left ear, but he made it here alive. We still don’t know yet how he is doing and we can just hope everything will be fine” He said quietly.

I…Blinked. How…Weird. He…He I could have sworn he said something like it to Jim just minutes ago.

“You should get some rest. I’ll wake you up if there are any news” He suggests.

I shake my head. “I’m fine”

“You should listen to him” Added Jim a bit moody.

I arched a brow a bit annoyed and rolled my eyes. I didn’t want to argue with them. It was ridiculous to think that it was me the one who needed rest when Jim had been hadn’t sleep in twenty four hours and Derek need to disconnect and process everything he was living.

Yet. I was the problem somehow.

Right when I closed my eyes just to please them –I knew it would be impossible to rest- I heard steps and opened them again.

Derek’s mom walked toward us slowly with disheveled hair and red eyes. Of course she had been crying. Though, it seemed like a couple of hours have passed since she calmed down.

Didn’t she know something?

“Stiles” She whispered as the corner of her mouth slightly twitched up in a shy and painful smirk.

I can’t explain what I felt right then, but it was a mix between utter sadness, a bit of happiness and relief. Somehow the room didn’t’ feel so empty anymore. We were fine. She was with us.

She was fine. We would be okay.

I stood and ran after her to cling on her head.

“I’m happy you are here” She said as she slowly moved the hairs on my forehead aside.

“He will be fine” I promised and she nodded. “There is nothing to worry about”

“Of course. I know everything will be fine. He is strong”

Yeah. He was indeed, or at least we hoped so.

“Hello” Said Jim standing from his chair to meet us. “My name is James Taylor”

“It is nice to meet you James. I’m Thalia. Derek’s mom”

“I wish we could have met on better circumstances”

She sniffed. “It is okay. He will be out in an hour or two, then we all will laugh about this”

“I hope so. If there is anything I can do for you, don’t hesitate to ask me. I’m here to help”

I blinked and started at Jim confused. When? How is that…? I felt hurt. Now I realized that Jim was being of more help than I.

“Actually, there is something” She says with tiredness in her voice. “I need to stay here in case anyone comes looking for me to give me news about his condition, but I haven’t have breakfast yet, so…”

“Perfect just wait here, please” Jim nodded and beckoned me to follow him.

I didn’t want to leave with him! I wanted to stay with them! My place was right behind them, waiting in that room. I had to be useful like Jim. If only I could somehow get in touch with the people inside the surgery room and ask them about Derek’s dad. That would calm things a bit.

Then an idea came to my mind. Actually I knew a doctor. Someone who could help.

And there he came. My father. Approaching at high speed accompanied by my mom.

“Stiles wha…” He started, but I grabbed Jim by the arm and drove him to another corridor.

“Stiles” My mom said then as she grabbed me by the arm and made me turn on my heels.

Without looking at her I spoke. “Mom, I don’t want to make a scene. Please, let me go”

And we left. 

…….

Jim guided me downstairs in silence until he found the little dinner hall in the ground floor that he saw when he was looking for us.

It was short place with ten maybe less tables. There was a line of people before the counter that as us were there to have breakfast.

Jim rubbed the drowsiness from his eyes and we went to the back of the line.

“What the hell was all that?” Jim asked while we waited.

“What?” I asked frowning.

Jim rolled his eyes. He couldn’t believe I was seriously going to pretend that nothing happened.

“You know what I mean betch. All that scene” He glared at me.

I sighed. “What did you want me to do? I’m really mad at them right now. It is because of them that Derek’s dad is in that room fighting for his life”

Jim chewed his bottom lip a bit confused. “I wasn’t talking about your parents. I was talking about you and Derek”

“What about us?” I said as we moved a place ahead.

Jim sighed. He seriously couldn’t believe, and let’s face it. I really didn’t get his point.

“You’re doing a crappy Job, instead of being a support for him, you are just making him feel more concerned”

I glared at him. “What are you talking about? I’m there for him! I’m doing my best”

He stayed still for a couple of minutes and didn’t say anything else until the line moved again. “Betch, he needs you. You need to be strong for him, he needs support and, he needs strength, we still don’t know what’s going on with his dad and you look like everything is already lost”

I gaped taken aback. He got me.

“You know I’m right” He grumbled, hating himself for saying that. “You just…Need to calm down”

_You’re making me nervous._

“I’m sorry” I replied and then it was our time before the counter.

The girl behind the counter smiled at Jim as she took his order. He got sandwiches for Derek, his mom, my parents and me, even when I said I didn’t want anything, he just didn’t listen and I did what he thought was the best.

He was really concerned about me, every time he looked at me and saw my swollen eyes his stomach plunged down. He wished he could do more apart from filling my tummy, he just…Didn’t know what to do or say. He felt so out of the place. And…Now that I’m writing this, I realize that part of the things he said to me, were also for himself. He still felt responsible for being helpless and he hated it.

“Let’s go” He said when we got the bags.

“You should eat too” I said on our way up, but he ignored me. Someone his mind took him back to Sunset Valley.

Why was Jack texting him? He left pretty clear that he couldn’t be friends anymore with Jim because people was already talking about them.

Then why…?

“Did you tell the others?” He asked when we climbed the stairs back to the surgery room.

He could see in my eyes that I forgot about the rest of the betches.

“It’s okay, I just…Think we should let them know where we are, though I’m not sure if you would like them to know about Derek’s dad”

He found me hesitating. I nodded and parted my lips. “I guess they would like to be here. They all love Derek, especially Liam. I guess he would be mad if we don’t tell him”

“Yeah. I was thinking the same” Jim nodded.

“But…” I started and he frowned as we started our way in the corridor.

“I kind of…Most of the guys are mad at me” I said embarrassed.

“Why?”

I sighed.

Jim couldn’t help feeling annoyed with all the information I let him know about the previous night and what happened when I found Liam with Alan below the pier, and the conversation with Tim, the way he was acting and of course the way I yelled at Hip. Though he thought I was overreacting. From his point of view I didn’t do anything to ruin Liam’s plans with Alan, it was just a coincidence, he didn’t think Tim was mad at me because I told him that we thought that there was something going on between Cass and him, and instead he considered that he would thank me in the new future for my honesty.

Anyway, he didn’t let me know all that right away because he didn’t feel like talking. He was really stressed and drowsy, that’s when he asked me to call Freddy and tell him what happened since I didn’t have any kind of issue with him the night before. But when I told him that my phone’s battery died right after I left my dorm he grunted.

“My phone’s battery died too” He lied. He didn’t want to check his phone. He didn’t want to face the fact that Jack was just at the other side text him like if nothing has happened.

What the hell was wrong with him?

“I’ll get my spare charger in the car” He said causally and lend me the bags and the hot chocolates cans.

He made his way back downstairs and his phone buzzed again. Absently he tugged it out.

“I’m sorry”

Jim rolled his eyes and turned off his phone.

…….

The surgery’s room door swum open and my breathing hitched. I swallowed as Kyle come out with blood all over him.

“I’m really sorry. He is gone” He said with his eyes down.

I started crying loud while the world spun and I kicked.

There was no one there to reassure me.

Why? Why did this have to happen?

Kyle wanted to comfort me, but I couldn’t let him.

The blood scared me.

I didn’t want him to touch me.

It had be a mistake.

“Kyle...This is wrong. He should live…”

It was a dream. It had to be a dream. Kyle wasn’t a doctor.

I woke up to discover I was choking. I made a loud noise as I hauled air into my lungs and tears burned my eyes.

“Stiles. Stiles!” Derek’s voice triggered my memories.

We are in the waiting room, there is silence. Even Derek’s voice is muffled by the scaring silence that surround us. But if there is silence and we are still in that room, it means that we still are awaiting for news.

I was right. It was just a dream.

I drowsed at some point and didn’t notice.

“I…I…Sorry I just…” I gasped as I grasped for air and tried to tell my brain that everything was fine, but the desperation wouldn’t leave my chest that easily.

It was so vivid. So terrifying. We had to get news, we needed to get news. Why they were taking so long?

“Stiles, Stiles” Derek said taking me by the arms and forcing me to look at him.

“There is nothing to worry about. My dad is okay, he hit his head really hard. There was blood on his left ear, but he made it here alive. We still don’t know yet how he is doing and we can just hope everything will be fine”

Alright. It wasn’t a coincidence nor a déjà vu anymore. Derek said those exact words before, yeah, the same words in the same order. Actually… It was them. Those words were in the dream somewhere. Like a whispering in my ear.

“Derek?” I said swallowing and avoiding Jim’s squinting eyes.

Derek nodded.

“You should get some rest” I said with concern. There was something odd about his behavior. He wasn’t crying, neither he looked scared. He was just still, with calculating eyes fixed in the door. He breathed deeply and all his muscles were tense. I could see it. He was containing his emotions so much that I was starting to feel afraid of the beating vein in his temple.

“I’m fine”

“You are not Derek”

“You should listen to Stiles, Derek. You all boys should have some sleep. Thalia and will stay awake and wake you up when we news”

Something stung my chest as I heard those words. I was tempted to turn and glare at my mom, but I really didn’t want to fight. This wasn’t a place for that. Derek needed me. Yeah, yeah. I know it looked more like I needed Derek as always. Jim was right, I had to be strong, or pretend that I was, so I could be a real support for him.

“I’m fine” Derek assured pretending boredom in his voice, but there was something else beneath.

“Derek…” I started.

 “There is nothing to worry about. My dad is okay, he hit his head really hard. There was blood on his left ear, but he made it here alive. We still don’t know yet how he is doing and we can just hope everything will be fine”

There it was again.

I looked back. Jim and Derek’s mom eyes flickered. They noticed it too. He was acting weird.

“Derek, have some rest” His mom ordered a bit harsh. I know it wasn’t her intention, but she was under pain too, under stress and now she knew that something wasn’t okay with her son. It was more she could bear in one day.

“I…Will walk. And grab some air. Okay?” He said to shut us all.

His mom nodded, so I had no other choice but to do the same.

“I’ll go with you” I stood before he could tell me not to, and Jim followed us downstairs after I unplugged my phone and turned it off.

It was an odd walk. We weren’t going to any particular place, but for some reason I felt anxious about wherever we might stop. It almost was as if the answers whatever they were, would be waiting for us where we stopped.

People is right. Nothing hurts more than waiting on a waiting room. You spend so much time on those places that I’m pretty sure you leave part of yourself in there. Now I know why those places feel so heavy and the air is so thick. They are haunted with nightmares and tears from the people that once were there awaiting for bad news to arrive.

We didn’t say anything. No one said a word, and at the end Jim just lit a cigarette when went to the parking lot to have some time to ease our minds.

Derek haven’t smoked since we were fifteen, though I was expecting for him to ask one to Jim when he lit his, but he didn’t. It was something I would consider normal even after seven years without smoking. But he wasn’t doing it.

He was doing nothing. Even in the darkness of the parking lot I saw the hollowness in his eyes. Somehow he was still looking at those double doors.

“Derek…”

“There is nothing to worry about. My dad is okay, he hit his head really hard. There was blood on his left ear, but he made it here alive. We still don’t know yet how he is doing and we can just hope everything will be fine”

Tears filled my eyes. Now I understood what was going on. Derek wasn’t conscious. Well, of course he was, but not fully. He was in shock. He was repeating the same phrase every seven minutes. Every exact seven minutes. His body was on auto, and he wandered and talked without noticing what he said or did.

Derek was gone. He was somewhere there, lonely and scared. Crying for his dad’s life.

It was more than what I could bear.

I started sobbing, loud and uncontrollably. He was so deeply wound. He was in so much pain that everything about him was asking for help and now I noticed it. Now I understood how much it was affecting him.

He was just a casket.

“Calm down!” I felt Jim’s fingers circling around arm as he pulled me away from Derek. “You’re going to scare him” Jim grumbled.

I knew. I understood what he wanted to say, but…I couldn’t just…Stop. Derek was gone! He was in such state that I’ve never seen him before. His dutiful and calculating being took over his body because he didn’t know what do or say. And it was hurting so much.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry” I repeated to Jim. I really was. I wanted to stop. I wanted to say calm, but I couldn’t. The more I tried to breath, the less I was actually capable of doing it. It was too much.

Then I felt it.

The warmth. The safety feeling. When Derek’s arm grabbed me by behind and he made me turn on my heels I gasped and then we met our eyes. And it was him who I found in his eyes. Not a void, not lightless pools. But life, fiery life and…Concern.

“Stiles…Are you okay. Maybe…Maybe…” And he was stuttering.

And kept saying things to calm me down, and he started sweating. And I gaped while he suggested I should go home and rest, that I should eat something that I should seat and catch my breath, that he better called a nurse to check me up. And While I shook my head understood it was me.

The concern that something might be wrong with me pulled him back. As always, his intrinsic need to be in control and protect everyone was what woke up him from whenever he was and now his most basic insects were telling him he was needed, that he needed to do something quick because I was in pain and no…

This wasn’t good.

IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!

It should be me supporting him. Drying his eyes, telling him that everything would be okay. Not in the other way around. He was so determinate to keep control of himself and his environment that he didn’t notice how much pain he was causing to himself and the people who loved him.

He couldn’t be doing that. But there he was. Checking my forehead looking for fever’s signs.

I wept. Harder, not for Derek’s dad or Derek himself. But for me. I was mad at myself because I made that. I got Derek so used to tend all my needs and heal all my wounds that even in this situation he wouldn’t stop worrying about whatever happened with me.

I felt so guilty and wrong.

I hated myself.

Now I understood why Jim wouldn’t stop telling me to call down. He saw this coming from the beginning and wanted to avoid it.

Now the question is…Who did he want to protect from this scenario. Derek or myself?

I’m afraid of the answer to that question.

After realizing all that, I sucked a breath and calmed down. The less thing Derek needed now was to be under more stress because of my fault.

I whipped my eyes and forced my breathing to ease.

I sniffed a bit and looked up at Derek, who now broke.

I can count with my fingers the amount of times Derek has cried over something. As I said he always tries to control everything. I think the first time I saw him crying was when we were seven and Elise Melbourne say she didn’t want to be her girl. Yeah, it is something silly. The next time I saw Derek cry was when his dad has his first breakdown on the thirteen birthday party.

The next time. I…I would rather not say it, but yeah. It was the night I hurt myself, and now this day.

“Why…Why this had to happen?” That was the last thing he managed to say until everything that came from his mouth stopped making sense.

I turned toward Jim who nodded at me.

I sucked a breath and put an arm on Derek’s shoulder while he sobbed and took his glasses off to cover his eyes with the back of his hands.

I took his hand off and made him crouch to press his forehead against mine like he always did when I felt like the world was ending. I felt his pain floating in the air, drilling my heart and sucking the air out of me. Yet, I stayed firm and caressed his hair without hesitation while I promised that everything would be okay.

We stayed like that for what felt like hours. Just the two of us in the nothingness as it had always been. And it is weird, but every passing minute the heaviness in the air stretched, but also lightened as if it was a cloud expanding. Freeing us in the arms on the other.

I could feel how Derek bit a bit returned to be himself. I’m not exaggerating we stayed like that for at least an hour and a half, and now I understood that Derek had been needing that moment of liberation for a while now, but he never let himself the time to let all the things that were bothering him go, because he always was busy trying to fix whatever mess I was stuck now. I was going to chance that.

“Are you going to listen to me and have some sleep now?” I muttered with a patronizing voice like the one he used with me in those moments.

Derek made a sound very similar to a snort and nodded.

“Let’s go”

I took Derek to the bathroom where I washed his face from any trace of tears, though of course I couldn’t do anything about the soreness of his eyes. Got him something to eat and drink and stayed there with tight lips awaiting for him to finish all the things I got for him.

When he was done we went back upstairs and in matter of seconds he was snoring on my shoulder and shortly after drowse off too.

…….

My mom literally eating her fingernails was driving Jim crazy. He had finished both hands already and he was pretty sure that if she wouldn’t feel like a freak by taking her shoes, she would now try her toes.

He disguised a chuckle with a coughing with the thought of it. He could clearly see how much alike we were.

Bullshit. My mom and I couldn’t be any different.

In other hand, Derek’s mom looked like her son before he had his breakdown, but since Jim has never met her before, he felt it would be inappropriate to force her to let her emotions flow before she had a cerebrovascular accident.

But it didn’t matter how much they waited. My father wouldn’t come out.

Yeah. I think you remember that my dad is a doctor. And since he has contacts in the hospital, he managed to slip into the surgery room when they got there. He had been there for forty minutes and it was driving everyone crazy because we hoped he would come out soon with good news, but the more the minutes stretched the more Jim thought that maybe he was afraid of the news he might have to give us.

But let’s try to keep a positive mind and forget for a minute about what was going on in the surgery room.

It was a very and awkward situation. I mean, that day, Jim was supposed to be playing his final game and winning the cup, but since Jack started acting like a psychopath the night before he decided to get back home and hide under his comforter for at least the rest of the day and pretend that he never met Jack.

Yeah, I know it isn’t Jim’s style, but come on! Now that I’m writing this I feel a bit sorry for him, I think he deserved a moment to clear his mind and let everything out, but of course he didn’t have it because I changed his plans dramatically.

Literally dramatically.

Now he was on a waiting room, with two women he never knew before hoping that a man he never met before to come out fine from a surgery room. See what I mean?

Thank god Jim was such a good person and he helped me, or else I don’t want to imagine how things would have turned out.

Back to Jim and his feelings. Well…I know that hospitals aren’t the favorite place of anyone apart from the people who works there, but Jim was having a special hard time to in there. Despite all the shit he lived the past days and the fact those mini vacations felt like months in hell, he…Wouldn’t stop thinking about Emily and now the wound was raw again.

He wouldn’t stop thinking what if. What if Paige would have told him what was going on? Would Jim’s dad money make any difference? Would she be alive? Suffering? Would she have died anyway? He would have liked to at least try to save her and it didn’t matter how many weeks or awful things he might live. The pain was the same. It seemed like it would never fade.

He guessed that was why he felt so weirdly guilty to be in that waiting room. He wished he could do more, and now someone else came to his mind.

Amanda.

I don’t know if you remember, but Amanda was Emily’s best friend and she had cancer too. Jim hadn’t visit the center since Emily passed and…That was killing him. He knew the pain would be too much to bear. To walks those hallways knowing that she is gone, but…What about Amanda? She had to stay there. Since she was an orphan she literally had nowhere else to go.

Jim’s eyes turned watery to the thought of it.

Amanda was alone there. In the place she lost the nearest person to a family she ever met.

How could Jim and Jack allow that to happen? What was wrong with them?

Simple.

They were selfish.

They were so focused on their pain –mostly on Jack’s pain- That they forgot completely about Amanda and her needs, and it felt so awful.

It was too much.

“I’m…Going for a walk” Jim let out suddenly not sure if our mothers would care whatever he said. He just…Needed to say something. Anything or he would explode.

“Okay. We will look for you if anything happens” Derek’s mom said with a sad smile and Jim nodded turning on his heels fast as shiver ran down his spine.

He started with short steps, but soon he was sprinting. He didn’t know where he was going and of course he knew it was impossible and stupid, but…He felt like he was going to meet her and the end of his road.

He felt like he was looking for Emily’s room. He felt like he would soon find it to discover that she got her surgery after all and that she wasn’t ill anymore.

He felt like he was going to find her happy and well, but as I said.

It was impossible.

By the time he stopped, to calm himself and suck a breath before someone stopped him to ask him what the hell was wrong with him, he was lost.

He was in a long corridor that took to a short room with wide windows. The shining of the sun that filtered from the door was calling him. He needed some fresh air and needed to see the light to confirm that after the darkest nights the sun always come out.

It was chapel.

He hesitantly approached to the room and found people sitting in large pews, somewhere kneeling and many others were gathering around a woman with a reddened face as a nonsense of a whisper reached Jim’s ears.

What would Jack done it that situation? How would it be if he was there? Would he pray?

“Are you feeling alright?” A voice asked and Jim snapped to turn and find a girl from his age with short curly blond hair and a white and pink dress.

He nodded and chuckled. ”Sorry…I was looking for the bathroom”

She blinked. “Is that all? Do you have someone in here?”

He nodded. “A friend’s dad is in the surgery room, right now”

Her face darkened with sadness.

_Really? You don’t even know him!_

“I’m really sorry to hear that”

“It’s okay. He will be alright” _I hope._

“Can…Can I pray for his health with you?” She said with a smile as she quickly took Jim’s hand.

He felt the warm spreading and the authentic sympathy of the girl in her words, but it didn’t feel okay. He suddenly felt anxious and exposed and retrieved his hand in a jerk.

“I’m sorry. I just…Have to go”

“Why?”

“I really need to find the bathroom” _I don’t know how to do it._

“Oh…I see. Maybe when you come back? The lord will protect him with his light. You will see it, just give him the chance”

“I…I’m sure of it. Thanks” Jim replied and cleared out.

Now while he walked back to the waiting room, he didn’t just feel anxious and guilty, but also embarrassed.

He hoped that by the time he got back, he would find my mom and Derek’s with smile on their faces and Derek and me jumping like high school girls after their first kiss, but nothing changed.

Everything was the same. Well, everything but one thing.

My phone.

After Jim gave me his charger, I plugged my phone in the wall two sits away from Derek and me. And right after Jim got into the waiting room it started blaring loudly.

He approached the women hesitantly who looked at him confused.

“Isn’t that. Yours?” My mom asked beckoning him to pick the phone.

He shook his head.

“It is Stily’s” He explained.

“Oh…Would…Would you mind to turn it off? It is driving me crazy?”

Jim looked at me and the peaceful expression on both Derek and me and nodded.

He went to the phone and took it on his hand. He pressed the button to turn it off, but then he thought about the betches and unlocked it.

“Kyle?” He mumbled as he walked away from us to not disturb us.

“James! Thank god! Is Derek’s dad alright?”

“How do you know he is in the hospital?” Said Jim shocked.

“Kristie couldn’t find any of you this morning, and your friends just told her what happened”

“Are they on their way?”

“Yes. The just left”

“Is that James?” Jim heard Garret’s voice said.

“Look man. I just told the coach and he is really mad, that he can’t believe you left, because that isn’t your father but I told him that…”

“It’s okay. I don’t care. Let him kick me out of the team”

“No man! You can’t just…”

“Seriously Kyle. I’m done with soccer”

“Why are you saying that? Does this have something to do with Jack?”

_Damn it._

“Look I have to…”

“Garret wait!”

“James! James! I scored twice!”

“Garret?” Jim frowned. “Did the game start already?”

“Yes! Yes! We just finished the first half! We are two against one. We’re going to win the championship!”

“I’m happy to hear that” Jim replied listlessly.

“Give me that!” He heard Kyle said angrily.

“But…”

“James are you still there?” Kyle asked.

“Yes, here I am. It is good to see that you are doing well in the game”

“Yeah. Never mind. How is Derek’s dad?”

“He…We don’t know. We are still waiting to get any news”

“Is…Stily alright?” Kyle’s voice gloomed pronouncing my name.

“I…I guess…Derek and him are having a nap, right now”

Kyle sighed. “Shit man! Please. Tell them I’m really sorry for not be…What…What you think you’re…”

“Kyle?”

“James? Is it you isn’t it?”

Jim’s stomach plunged down and his pulse quickened when he heard Jack’s voice on the speaker.

Jim slowly craned his neck toward my mom and Derek’s that weren’t paying attention to him and he walked a bit farther just in case.

“What do you want?” Said Jim moodily.

“I texted you! I called you! Why are you answering?”

Jim rolled his eyes. “That’s none of your business! I have things to do”

“Things to do you? You ditched! Why?”

“Are you seriously asking me that?” He couldn’t believe him.

“I said I am sorry” Jack replied with resentment in his voice.

“Wow! What a monster I am. I’ll forgive you right away for all the shit you said to me last night just because you texted an apology”

Jack didn’t say anything for several seconds and Jim felt tempted to cut the call.

“James. Please” He started with some sadness. “I told you last night what was going on. I just…” He lowered his voice. “People are talking”

“Look. I don’t have time for this shit right now. Okay?”

“Wait! Please James! I’m really sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking when I said all that! You are right and I’m a terrible person and I’m…”

“Could you please stop talking about yourself, your problems and your needs for once? I’m on ER. One of my friends has his dad on surgery room right now and believe me, the last thing I’ve thought in the whole day is you and your stupid problems!”

“What? What…? What happened? Who…?”

“I have to go” Jim finished and cut the call.

He sucked a breath and turned on his heels at the moment the surgery room’s door swung open.

……..

It was like electricity. I don’t know how to explain it, but even when no one said anything and the door didn’t make any sound. I knew my dad was out of the surgery room.

Maybe I wasn’t asleep after all. Maybe I just convinced myself that I was asleep while the corner of my eyes was fixed on the double doors.

It wasn’t just me.

Derek snapped quickly and now both stumbled after standing up to meet my dad.

My dad was old. Of course he was, but…That day he looked a bit older. I guess it was the guilt that was eating him from inside out. Thought I was afraid it could be something else.

“Is…?” Derek’s mom stuttered and my heart quivered and felt nauseas. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to have had breakfast.

My dad wasn’t stained with blood. It had to be a good sign. Though… Of course he wouldn’t have blood on his shirt! He wasn’t part of the surgery! He was just playing the part of the gossip nurse who smokes inside the room and makes jokes about the patience penis’ size.

I know my dad was talking. I know Derek’s mom slowly brought her left palm and covered her mouth as my mom put a hand on her shoulder and then they hugged, but I couldn’t make out anything. The fear of whatever the news we could get was so high that it literally clouded my senses.

My head was hammering along with my chest. My nauseas were harder and I had this weird sensation as if I had been running for hours to none stop.

He was alright. Well…

Not exactly.

When Derek thanked my dad for being so nice to look information for us, Jim tugged of my arm and made me signs to follow him to our chairs while we left Derek to hug his mom.

We sat in there in silence for a while and Jim kept looking at me a bit annoyed, but there’s a lump of my throat and if I felt this way I can’t imagine how Derek and his mom would had been feeling. I feared for them.

“So…” Jim started casually when the light started to come back to the bulbs in the ceiling. It never left…I just…felt like floating in a void of darkness.

“So what?” I think I said that. I’m not sure. It is kind of hard to understand your own words when you have a lump on your throat.

“You have no fucking idea what an Aneurism is, don’t you?” 

 _Aneurism?_ I though confused and blinked twice.

Jim rolled his eyes. “An Aneurism is…”

“I know what it is. Thank you very much” I replied moody. “Is it…Is it what he has?”

Jim frowned. “Didn’t you…Didn’t you listen what your dad said?”

I nodded. “Yes, I just…No!” I admitted ashamed. “I don’t know, I just…I guess my mind blocked everything. I can’t even remember clearly when he started talking”

Jim sighed.

“They were making some studies on him before starting the surgery that is why they have been in that room for so long” Jim explained quietly.

“But…He is alive, right?”

“What do you think, betch?” Jim rolled his eyes again.

“Then why they aren’t done yet?”

“Aren’t you paying attention betch? He has a fucking Aneurism in his brain. That shit is damn dangerous! They need to be careful”

I nodded and sucked a breath. “So…He will be okay?”

Jim nodded. “Yeah, even when they are dangerous, he got here right on time. There is nothing to worry about. He will live”

I smiled. Emptily. I didn’t know why but Jim’s answer didn’t appease my fears. I guess it has to do with the fact of being in that situation. Until I didn’t see Derek’s dad playing his childish jokes, or asking us to show him our movies I wouldn’t feel really calm. And even after that, I might still feel a bit frightened that if I went to sleep. I would wake up to realize that he was actually dead.

“Thanks for bringing here Jimmy” I said with a shy smile as we both saw Derek and his mom sit a bit more hopeful. “You can leave if you want, I’m sorry for making you come here”

He shook his head.

“It’s alright. I would like to be here for when he comes out. That way I’ll feel calmer”

I nodded. “You are a good friend betch. Careful or you might ended up with your ass beatified”

He glared at me and then chuckled. “Shut up” He said and then bumped me with his shoulder.

“Um…Hello?” My dad said suddenly and I turned.

He was standing behind me with his hands on his pockets, his head to the side while his eyes were fixed on us with scrutinizing eyes.

“Hi” Replied Jim looking at me and then at my dad. “It’s nice to meet you sir. I’m James Taylor” Said Jim holding his hand to shake my dad’s.

“Are you…Stiles’s partner?” My dad frowned.

 _Oh god! Really? Even today? Even in this situation?_ I have to say this, I mean. My parents have this amazingly breathtaking power to embarrass me on any way on any situation, on any place.

Jim chuckled but I didn’t. I was really mad at my parents and the less thing I wanted was to have a talk with them about my love life. Seriously. My heart was a mess, I didn’t’ know how I felt after all the things I did and heard the night before and I couldn’t believe that for my parents it was so much important the fact that I was twenty two and I still hadn’t have a partner man or woman. –Ok yeah, I was more pathetic than what I thought-

“Let’s go” I mouthed for Jim and without answering anything, we just stood and went to see Derek and his mom, but of course my dad –I-get-my-nose-whenever-I-want-because-I-pay-your-god-damn-school wouldn’t let me go that easily, and instead he grabbed me by my arm to make me turn and I yanked it back furiously.

“I don’t want to talk to you right now” I replied bitterly and hurried to sit next to Derek so my dad wouldn’t dare to make a scene.

Derek smiled at me and then frowned at my dad. “Is everything okay?” He asked.

My heart melted as soon as I saw his eyes shining again. Of course his dad still wasn’t out of the surgery, of course he still was in danger, but the fact of hearing that he was alive, that he would be okay and that this nightmare would end soon, brought life back to Derek and it was something beautiful to see. I just couldn’t ruin that moment talking about the parents whose asses I wanted to kick. I just wanted to stay in good spirit and keep hope that everything would be fine. So I said it.

“Everything is fine”

Of course I was wrong, because when I looked behind Derek. I found Allison walking toward us.

…….

The only one who noticed the odd atmosphere in the air was Jim. Of course he would. So far, he was the only one who knew about the fight that Allison and I had the night before, if you don’t count Tim, who probably didn’t remember his own name by then.

Allison hesitated before approaching closer as if she tried to identify the faces in the room, but of course she was playing the field to know if she was welcomed or not.

Jim got all this by just starting at her three seconds. In his mind he understood that Allison thought I had told Derek everything already, but now that no one seemed to ask her to leave she looked more confident to reach Derek and his mom.

Jim acted fast. Really. As soon as he saw I raised an angry brow he joined us and put a hand on my shoulder.

“Why…Why you didn’t tell me?” Allison said a bit frightened but hurt.

Derek sighed. “I’m…I’m sorry I just…Didn’t have time to think, when…When my mom called me I just couldn’t think about anything. I just came here”

“Well, is good to see that you at least called Stiles so you wouldn’t be alone here” She said with some relief in her voice, but of course Jim wasn’t stupid, and as me he quickly noticed the despise in her words.

She hated me. Can you fucking believe it?

“I…I didn’t call Stiles, it was one of our neighbors I just…Sorry. I’m really sorry”

Jim could read on my face that I was just about to explode, his phone buzzed, which meant that the betches were already downstairs, and he tried to call my attention to slip away before world war three started, but I wasn’t paying attention to him, or better said, I didn’t want to.

“You don’t need to apologize. It was a very scary moment for you, it is natural that you might have forgotten to call them” Interrupted Jim as he approached to call my attention again.

“He is right” Allison agreed. “What about you both?” She said with reddened face and now she stared at Jim and me. “You could have called me you know? If it wasn’t because Liam called me to ask me where this place was, I wouldn’t know, I wouldn’t know anything” Tears climbed to her eyes, and Jim could see my temple’s vein popping.

It was time to get out.

“Hey! The betches are downstairs, let’s get them”

“They will find their way” I replied bitterly.

“No, they won’t, and I want to have something to eat”

“I’m not hungry”

“Yes, you are. Let’s go” And said so, Jim grabbed me by my wrist and tugged tight out of the waiting room while my parents looked at him shocked and he smiled at them embarrassed.

“What the hell was all that?” I said furious when we started climbing down the stairs.

“Are you seriously going to do that to him?” Jim said angrily. He was really mad because he could read it on my face. I was eager to tell Derek what kind of snake his girl was.

“I wasn’t going to do anything, betch” I rolled my eyes.

“Don’t play the fool with me, betch. I know you. You was about to tell him about Allison and Kristie!” He grunted.

I exploded. “Okay, okay I was! So what? She deserves it! She is fucking insane! Who the hell she thinks she is to say I can’t be friends with Derek anymore?”

“It is her who has to tell him, not you. You are just going to mess things even worse. And this isn’t the time”

“What’s the matter? The faster he dumps her the better” I replied as I crossed my arms.

“Seriously?” Jim looked at me and he couldn’t recognize me. “I thought you loved Derek! How are you going to tell him that his girl cheated him with a girl and her boyfriend the day his dad almost died?”

I stopped walking, and now he could see that his words had touched, which he thanked. He was really mad, I mean. He still had the conversation with Jack in his mind and now he had to see me acting like a child.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” He arched a brow and stared at me for seconds.

“I’m…I’m sorry, you are right” I said listlessly. “But I have to do something! I can’t just leave her to….”

“Can you wait until he isn’t so emotionally fragile, at least?”

I was his. He could see it in my eyes. There wasn’t anything I could say to put the balance on my favor. I knew he was right and I had to accept it. Even when it was killing me.

“Okay. I’ll tell him as soon as we know his dad is okay”

“Can’t you leave her to do it herself?” Jim continued stubbornly.

“What? Are you insane? You want me to let her say whatever crazy shit she wants about me, to put him against me?”

Jim rolled his eyes. “Don’t you think that if she really wanted to hurt you, she would have done it on the way back home from Sunset Valley?”

Jim could see that I was about to jump on him. “Then…Then why…You just saw how she go here, like she owned Derek or something! She will lie! She will say I’m making up everything, I have to act faster than her! She cheated on him with Kristie for Christ sake!”

“Yeah she did” He nodded. “Did she tell you she is in love with her? Did she tell you she is a lesbian?”

“No but…”

“Did she say she was going to be with both Kristie and Derek?”

“She is playing with him, or them…I don’t know”

“Exactly you don’t know! Probably her head is a mess, betch. Probably she doesn’t know who she is and what she wants. Does it sounds familiar to you?”

“I can’t believe you are on her side”

“I’m not saying I’m on her side. I’m just saying that maybe it is was just a misunderstanding, maybe she just made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes”

“Yeah? Well, she had made a lot of mistakes lately if you consider that she kissed Kyle too, did you forget?” I said furious as we got into the parking lot to look for the betches.

“Okay. You are right” Jim admitted. “That doesn’t mean she did it on purpose. Just calm down betch. I just don’t want you to get in trouble. Okay? Derek is old enough to take care of himself and the last thing he needs right now is more drama in his life.”

“Ok. I won’t say anything. For now, but if she doesn’t do it in a week. I’ll do it myself” I grunted.

“Do what you want. Just remember that there was a time when you didn’t know who you were either”

“Oh yeah? Well, there was a time when I thought she was my friend and then she asked me to fuck off”

“Look there they are” He pointed ahead.

Cass was the first to join, followed by a clearly wasted Tim who probably didn’t even know where he was.

Liam threw his arms around Jim’s neck and wouldn’t stop asking about Derek. Suddenly Jim felt a bit of envy. He didn’t know how much important Derek was for all the betches. Especially for Liam, and he asked himself if they would have acted the same way if it was him who needed comfort.

“He is fine, he is fine” Jim kept saying, but when Freddy joined Liam started tugging at Jim’s arm asking him to show them the way.

Jim rolled his eyes and started his way, but right before leaving the parking lot, he stopped and made me signs to guide them.

He shoved the hands on his pockets. He had turned on his phone to make sure the betches got the hospital at time, and he had ignored all the text left from Jack which surprisingly reached the number of twenty seven. But right before getting inside his phone buzzed again and even when he didn’t want anything to do with the former captain, he couldn’t contain himself.

He tapped the screen looking for the chat app and there he found it. A picture of Garret holding the first place cup.

The wolves won the championship and Garret was the start of the team. Below the picture there was some text.

“We did it without your help. Do you see it now? Garret doesn’t need you, we don’t need you. I don’t need you. Never come back”

Jim swallowed as something cold stabbed him in the chest.

He brought the phone to his hands and replied.

“Great! Finally got rid of you”

…….

As soon as we got into the waiting room Liam threw his arms to Derek’s neck and he started stroking his hair frantically.

Now I understood what Jim meant when he said that I needed to calm down.

“I’m okay, really” Derek said with a smile.

“You almost scared me to death. I thought it was you and I don’t know, it was freaking scaring” Hip said patting Derek’s shoulder.

“No, it was just a misunderstanding” Derek smiled.

“I’m happy it was”

I glared at Hip because I still could remember the arguing we had the night before, but I was happy they were there. I don’t know if it has something to do with the fact that my friends were there, but suddenly the air didn’t feel so heavy. Actually the tiny spark of hope that fluttered on my chest after Jim explained me what Derek’s dad had, was now growing and the nauseas had vanished from my body.

Everything would be okay.

“Oh sweetie, all this mess…I’m really sorry about last night” Liam said turning toward me to kiss my cheek.

I blushed and nodded. “I’m really sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to…You know”

“I know you didn’t. I just wish things would have been different, that’s all”

“You deserve someone who wants you for who you are, not who they want you to be” I mumbled on his ear when he hugged.

I felt calmer now, I just whished Derek’s dad could get out of surgery soon so we could leave all this behind.

“So…How…Why did it happen?” Cass asked sitting on Derek’s side right after Allison stood to talk to my best friend’s mom.

Derek looked at all us and hesitated. “I…My dad has a condition. He regularly has very bad migraines and needs to be on a very quiet environment to prevent them from getting worse. My mom had to get out last night, and I…I don’t know, I guess he wanted a glass of water or something and he fell down the stairs”

“Oh…” Freddy covered his mouth with his hand.

“He hurt his head pretty badly and now we just discovered that had a breakdown because he had or has, I don’t know… An Aneurism in his brain” 

“I’m really sorry, man” Hip squeezed his shoulder.

Now I could see how Derek’s expression darkened. He omitted something in his story, or better said, he changed it. He said he thought his dad went out of bed to get a glass of water, but…

“This is my fault” He stated with pasty voice. “If I would have come back home right after the school year was over I would stayed with him last night and none of this would have happened”

“No! Don’t blame yourself! It wasn’t your fault! It was just an awful coincidence” Hip muttered.

“But…”

Tears climbed at my eyes.

“It was just dad, don’t torture yourself. What’s important is that your dad will be okay” Hip stated and forced Derek to stand to hug him.

What the fuck? Who the hell he thought he was? It was me who had the job to do so! That _“Don’t blame yourself”_ Should have been mine, it was me who had to tell him that he couldn’t blame himself for all this when it was my parent’s…

My heart stopped short and now I was swaying. I felt like I was going to collapse right there.

It wasn’t Derek’s fault.

It wasn’t my parent’s fault.

It was mine.

I did this.

“Sweetie?” Liam cocked his head to the side as he frowned at me.

I put a hand on the wall as soon as my legs turned to Jelly.

It was me! It was fucking me!

“Stiles?” I heard my mom say at my back and everything went dark for half a second.

I heard cries, probably Liam’s and then I was floating.

“Stiles!” It was Derek. My best friend. The person who had always been there for me, the boy who wrapped me with his arms and this rock-like chest when I had sleeping troubles. The boy who forgave all the things I did to him, no matter what and the boy whose father I almost murdered.

I came back before the nurses arrived. “I’m alright, I’m alright!” I affirmed as I gripped Liam’s shoulder to steady myself.

“You should let someone check you, betch” Jim said from somewhere near me.

“I’m alright” I repeated.

“You’re not. I’ll get you to…” My dad was saying bossily as my mom and he started to drag me out of the room against my will.

“Let me go. Okay? I’m fine”

“Stiles” Said my mom with concern. “We just want to make sure that…”

“You just want to clean your filthy consciences”

They stopped short and looked at me embarrassed. Apparently we were so far already that no one in the waiting room listened. Which I thank.

“What are you talking about?” My dad demanded furious.

“You think I’m stupid? Everyone knew you were fighting again! That’s why he came out of bed! To tell you shuck the fuck off!”

“Don’t talk to us that way young man. We are still your parents!” My mom warned me.

“Or what? Are you going to ground me?”

“I have nothing to do with this! It was your mother who…”

“Me?” My mom exploded taken by surprise. “How can you be so cynical? After all the….”

And then the word entered on mute. I couldn’t make out anything they were saying. I was just looking at the same situation I had to witness every once in a while when I was kid, when I ran away from home to find shelter on Derek’s bed, in that place where the doors were always open for me because Derek’s dad was such a good man, and now he was in that surgery room because of that pair arguing in the corridor and their son who always rather to run away from his problems instead of facing them.

“Look at you” I said laughing hysterically. “You are acting like kids!”

They stopped yelling at each other and suddenly they both were facing me with blank expressions.

“If you…If you hate each other so badly, why don’t you just divorce already?”

Saying those words hurt me harder than I expected. But there was no turning back. I was sick of this situation.

Derek warned me several times, he told me to talk to them, he said they were driving his dad crazy and I didn’t listen. I let them do whatever they wanted because it was easier to pretend that the problem didn’t exist, but they were fighting more often lately and if I would have talked to them, maybe I would have been able to find a solution at time and Derek’s dad wouldn’t have been fighting for his life.

“Stiles how…Can you…” My mom stuttered.

“You want to do it! You both know you want! Why not doing it then? The man who has been a second dad to me is in that room!” I pointed at my back “Because you can’t fix your marriage! And I let you do this! This is all our fault! It isn’t fair!”

“I won’t let you to talk to me like this!” My dad grunted.

“Or what? You’re going to ground me? I won’t have dessert for dinner?”

“Do you want me to remind who pays for those expensive cameras and the school tuition?”

Low blow.

The blood stopped pumping to my brain. He was threatening me. I guess it is genetic thing of the Davies family you know? Doing stupid things when you were mad, but even when ninety percent of my cried at me that it was insane, I was done with their shit.

“You know what? I’m done with you and your fights, and your warnings, and threads and money”

I shoved my hands in my left pocket and drew my wallet.

“I don’t need your money” I affirmed taking all my cards in my hands to break them in front of them.

“Stiles!” My mom gasped.

My dad scoffed. “Go ahead, do it! But when you…”

“I won’t ever ask you money again” I affirmed as I turned to see that the surgery room opened. “Now if you excuse me, I have to go. My family needs me”

Everyone tensed when the doctor came out that room. I hurried to approach before the betches wouldn’t let me a place to hear whatever the man had to say.

However, neither I nor my friends had the chance to listen to the doctor. As soon as he came out he asked Derek’s mom to follow him inside and that made me want to go back to keep yelling at my parents.

I was so mad.

Really.

“Stiles…”

Great! Just what I wanted! I looked at my left to get a closer look at Allison. “What do you want?” I said moody.

“Stiles…I wanted to talk to you” She said with sadness in her voice.

_Oh no bitch! Don’t think I’m buying your regret and that shit._

I looked back at Derek who was in the center of the room talking to Hip who was trying to calm him down, and since we were far enough of them, he wouldn’t listen in case I decided to call Allison all the things I called her the night before.

“Talk, I’m short of time” I said bluntly.

She chewed her bottom lip.

“So?”

She sighed. “Look Stiles, I really want to apologize for the way I threated you last night. I’m really sorry. I just drank too much and said whatever crossed my mind without considering your feelings and…I…I’m really sorry”

I choked a laugh. “That’s it?”

“What else you want me to say?” She snapped and her eyes shone.

“That’s the problem, you think that just by apologizing it will make me forget that you hate me?”

“I…I don’t hate you”

“Allison, drunk or not. You think I’m going after Derek, so, no matter what you say will change the fact that you want me out of his life” I stated sternly.

“I…I don’t want you out of his life. Really, Stiles…I just…”

I rolled my eyes and turned toward Derek to make sure he still was far enough from us.

I was right, I don’t know what the hell Hip was whispering in his hear but they were laughing.

“Let’s put names on things okay? You are just apologizing because you don’t want me to tell Derek that you kissed Kristie and Kyle”

“Stiles!” She said shocked looking in all directions. “Speak lower”

“Or what?”

“Stiles, please. I’ll tell him. I promised I would” She whispered with glistening eyes. “Just give me some time, this isn’t the best moment to receive those news”

“You will always find an excuse”

“I won’t, I promise. Just let’s wait until we are sure his dad is alright. Then I’ll do it, no excuses. I promise”

The more I saw Hip next to Derek, the least I liked it. He was after something. I could see it.

“Stiles?”

“Do, what you want. I don’t care. If after Derek’s dad is okay you haven’t say anything, I’ll tell him myself”

And said so I approached Derek and Hip to split them before Hip kneeled right in front of everyone and then Derek’s mom got out with a sad smile on her face.

“What…What happened?” Derek said addressing his mom while we all surrounded her.

“Everything is alright. They found four Aneurisms in his brain. One exploded when he fell of the stairs and that is why it took them so long. But he will be okay”

“When….When can we see him?” I said after noticing I had been holding my breath.

“Not for now…He…He is still in a delicate state. Do his condition, he needs to be insulated for a while, actually…They put him on an induced coma for a couple of days until his brain heals completely but…There are changes he might have some brain damage, like difficulties to talk or move”

My heart sunk.

“But there is nothing to worry about!” She hurried to say after seeing our faces. “It is just a tiny possibility. It is almost sure he will wake up find and well, they just want us to get be prepared for any eventuality. But they say he will recover with no problems at all”

 _Thank god._ I thought with happiness.

Allison threw her arms at Derek’s neck and we all sucked a breath.

“I’ll stay a bit longer until they move him to his room. You should go home, I’ll be there in an hour or two”

“No. I want to stay with you”

“Derek, your mom is right. You drove all night and then came here. You need to rest”

“I can drive you home on Liam’s car” Hip offered.

 _Of course you will._ I thought bitterly.

“Well, I guess it can work. That way my mom can drive home on my car” Derek nodded.

“Let’s go then” Said Hip as he tended his hand to get the keys of Liam’s truck.

“What are you going to do?” I asked Jim while we walked to the parking lot.

“I guess I’ll stay in a hotel and get back home tomorrow”

“You can stay with me on Derek’s house today” I offered.

“We should leave them alone for tonight, they need rest” Jim pointed out.

“Well, I’m not going to my house. I broke up with my parents” I said rolling my eyes.

“You can’t break up with your parents, asshole! They aren’t a guy! And…Haven’t you learned anything from all this?”

“Forget it okay? I’ll stay with you in the hotel tonight” I said moodily, until I heard Derek offering the place in his house to the betches.

“Hey Derek!” I called and before anyone else could tell anything else I dragged him out of their reach.

“What’s the matter?” He asked with a short smile.

“What’s all that thing with Hip? You can’t let him stay in your house!”

“Why?” Derek frowned.

“Don’t you notice his sudden caring for you? He is up to something”

“Sudden?” Derek chuckled. “What are you talking about? Matty and I have always been friends”

“Not that friends! You barely say hello and goodbye to each other”

Derek shook his head.

“What are you talking about? We have been hanging out sometimes for a couple of months”

“When? I’ve been with….”

“Oh…” He chuckled. “Yeah, I forgot we spent quite some time without talking to each other. Well, it was by then, he went one day looking for you at the dorm and we started talking about…”

I wasn’t listening.

He said he went one day looking for me months ago. A memory came to my mind from the time I went to see my first game of soccer. The day we went to the woods and Derek stayed alone at home.

THAT MOTHERFUCKER!

He had been playing all that time the heartbreaker and who slept with everyone but he was after something bigger. Someone more important.

For Hip, Derek was the ultimate prize.

 


	7. SLIPPING ON FIRE

## SLIPPING ON FIRE

 

I’m very obsessive. But I guess you know that already. The thing about it, is that it never goes away, so…

I didn’t fly that night.

Instead, I kept having this dream were I woke up to find Derek’s mom telling us that his dad passed.

It happened over and over again, until it became so scary that it was too much to bear.

Waking up isn’t my favorite thing in the world, but it was better than staying having those nightmares, thought it was painful too.

Being aware again of who I was and I what I have done made my chest ache.

I almost murdered Derek’s dad.

That was my first though it the morning after I woke up in the floor of Derek’s room between Liam and Tim.

I threw a sad look at my best friend’s bed where he laid with Allison who had her head on his chest and a peaceful look on her face. It made me feel nausea, near them was Hip. He was on the floor, but still…

He was closer to him than me.

They were taking him away from me so fast…I shouldn’t have felt jealous because I deserved to be isolated from his life after all the mess I caused by not calling my parents as he asked me, but… I was selfish. I still am and knowing that she was waiting for her chance to fill his head with lies about me, and that Hip couldn’t wait to get in his bed, made my blood boil.

I sucked a breath and went to the bathroom.

One of the perks of being an honorific Hale, was the fact that I had an extra tooth brush on the bathroom, along with my own towel and clothes in Derek’s closet.

After bathing the sun began to rise and everyone was still asleep, though I guessed Jim would wake up soon to get back home because he didn’t look very happy with the idea of staying on Derek’s house the night before.

I went downstairs to make some breakfast.

Here is where things would become complicated. I didn’t know anything about cooking because I never finished my classes with Derek, but I had to try to be useful for him. His mom and he would need an extra hand those two weeks and since I wasn’t welcomed in my parent’s house anymore I just couldn’t stay arms crossed. However, when I got into the kitchen…

“Mrs. M” I said shocked to find her awake that early.

She jolted on her place and turned to me startled. “Stiles…Oh…Good. Good morning. I’m sorry I…”

It was then when I noticed that she wasn’t awake that early. She was wearing the same clothes she wore on the hospital.

She never went to bed, and actually…She probably just got home.

“What you think you are doing?” I arched a brow a bit upset as I squinted at the egg on her hand before the fry pan.

“I was just…”

“I’ll do it” I offered.

“It’s alright Stiles. The kids…”

And there she was. I was a bit mad at her. Why couldn’t Derek and his mom stop being Derek and his mom for a couple of minutes? She was so concerned that soon my friends would wake up and they wouldn’t have anything to eat, that she would sacrifice the scarce sleeping hours she would have before going back to the hospital just to feed us.

It wasn’t fair and hell that I wouldn’t allow it to happen.

“Mrs. M, please go back to bed. I’ll get everything ready”

“But Stiles, I don’t want you to feel…”

She didn’t want me to feel like a maid? It was least thing I could do for her! I mean, really. I don’t even know how I had the guts to face her considering that she was in such state because of me, though I must admit, that part of me only blamed my parents. It was easier for my conscious.

“I’ll make sure Derek eats” I promised. “Please go to bed. You need to have some sleep. I won’t make a mess. I’ll clean everything after I’m done and it will taste good. I promise”

She snorted, and somehow it turned into something else…A laugh.

Warmness spread through me after the look she threw on me. I know she wasn’t my real mom, but…I don’t know…I just felt comfortable with those _“I love you”_ looks coming from her.

She approached me and kissed my forehead and I hugged her. We didn’t hug for too long, because we both knew that it would be only matter of seconds before one of us broke, and instead we let go so she could get into bed and have the rest that she so desperately needed.

Now…Cooking.

It couldn’t be that hard. Right?

Of course you know me. I made a mess. My pancakes looked like gremlins, but after my third try and watching a YouTube tutorial for the fifth time, well…They didn’t look that bad and surprisingly… They tasted like heaven.

That made me feel a bit good about myself.

“You are cooking? I guess I’m still asleep” I heard Jim’s groggy voice when I was almost done.

I turned to glare at him, but I smiled when I got back to the pancakes.

“Sit. I’m almost done” I said casually while my phone buzzed on my pocket.

“I’m good thanks. Actually I was looking for you to say goodbye”

I arched a brow. “Aren’t you waiting for the guys to wake up?”

“No. I just…Don’t feel comfortable and they need to have so more sleep hours and…I got things to do back home”

“Well I guess I’ll see you in a couple of weeks” I said a bit sad.

I was going to miss Jim. After all the mess with the betches and how open we were with each other the past two days, I would miss to have someone with who share the utter despise I felt for myself and the world.

“Yeah. Take care ok? Don’t get in trouble”

“You know that that isn’t possible” I giggled.

Jim scoffed. “You are right. I guess we can’t just slip away that easily”

“Text me when you are home” I smiled.

“I will” Jim nodded.

“And If Jack…”

“He won’t look for me. Stily” Jim affirmed with a shade of darkness in his eyes. “But if he does…I’ll make sure to have the camera on hand so everyone can see what a piece of shit he is”

I smiled, though I knew he didn’t mean it for real. He would probably forgive him. He was in that stage I was once when Steve and I were having problems. I would have said it if it wasn’t because I wasn’t in the mood to argue with anyone.

These two weeks would be decisive for all of us, but especially for Jim.

A storm was coming.

Ten minutes after Jim left, Derek found me preparing the orange juice.

He looked at me, and I looked at him for a couple of minutes in silence. He tried to say a joke about me cooking and I tried to laugh about it.

He ate and he liked it. Actually, he asked me some more and I couldn’t feel happier. I decided to act like a grown up and make food for Derek for real with no excuses or complains and the result was satisfactory. I couldn’t be prouder of myself while I saw him have his second plate with a dreamy look on his face.

…….

 As for Jim…His trip was light and quite. His mind seemed to be on automatic mode, because in a blink of an eye he was climbing the stairs of his apartment.

It was odd you know? How things, locations, people, and even the air can often get than some of thematic taste. It was mid-August but that silver straw in the sky made Jim felt like he was on winter.

He nodded to the security guard who stared at him with some concern, but probably thought it would be disrespectful to ask what the hell was going on with us the day before.

When the elevator took Jim to his apartment he sighed with relief. After all the crap he had have the past days. Picturing his bed in his mind almost made him feel excited.

He crossed the front door, and grabbing the mail from the floor to later throw it over the coffee table in the living room and without even taking his shoes off Jim jumped on his bed.

And he slept.

He deserved it.

I don’t know if it is really possible to sleep a week. But that is how he felt when he woke up than afternoon. Or was it next day’s afternoon? His phone’s battery had died while he drowse so he definitely hadn’t sleep just a couple of minutes.

There was something soothing about laying on his bed like that. With an empty mind that could only focus on ceilings and plan white wallpapers.

And yet his bliss tasted to something.

Procrastination.

He knew he was forgetting something or many somethings, but he was so drawn by the addictive effect of the heaviness in his tired body that he couldn’t connect two single thoughts and get an idea.

After a couple of hours staying like that, his stomach started to complain pretty badly and he decided to have something to eat.

While he prepared some cereal in a bowl and watched TV, he plugged his phone on the wall which automatically came to life to start blaring nonstop with notifications.

The first text he got was from…If you thought it was Jack, then congratulations you won.

It was a text three days old, which means that…Hell! Jim officially slept almost two full days.

Back to the text. Yeah….As anyone could expect. It was one of those stupid texts he sent to try to hurt Jim.

“I mean it. Leave it me alone”

Jim read the text three times and he almost laughed.

Jack really hoped for Jim to beg him and he was having a hard time waiting.

While he brushed his teeth, he started reading the rest of the notifications on his phone. They were more or less the same.

Texts from Liam asking him if he was okay. Texts from Freddy telling him he was an evil betch for not waiting for them to get back home. Three hundred texts from me asking him if he was home, then other three hundred telling him he was an asshole for not answering the calls, then three more saying that if he wasn’t dead I would kill him when I saw him. One more telling him that I felt sorry for all the things I said and that I hoped he was okay, and finally a last one telling him that Tim have already told me they went when to see him to his apartment and everything was right.

_What?_  Jim almost stabbed himself with his toothbrush after reading that last one.

He hurried to go to the front door, and yeah, there was no doubt it had been forced.

He cursed the betches and went to the bathroom to finish washing his face.

He was getting ready to get back to sleep again, when his phone buzzed one last time.

He picked on his hand and rolled his eyes, before reading the text three more times to then sigh.

_Really?_ He thought upset. He couldn’t believe he would have to get back to Jack’s home that fast after all.

…….

Little after the betches and Allison –Who had to get back to work- left that afternoon Derek’s mom called us into the kitchen. I felt a bit uneasy about what she might tell us, and in my mind I only had room for scary thoughts.

Did Derek dad die while we slept? Could it be that she was mad at me and wanted me out?

I had to suck a breath before entering in the kitchen.

She was with her back toward the pantry and her hands gripping the worktop in a casual way, but I could see the tension. Whatever she was going to tell us. She knew we wouldn’t like it.

I could feel Derek’s anxiety too. That’s one of the advantages and issues of being best friends. Our feelings weren’t mine or his, were ours, and apart from the guilt I had to struggle with I also could almost feel the world of confusion and pain that Derek carried in his back. It was right there in my right shoulder, hanging between us.

It weren’t bad news after all. Well, kind of.

She didn’t want us around.

Yeah, of course she didn’t say it that harshly. But that it was what she meant. Maybe she was too hurt and needed some time alone. But she told us that after meditating a lot while she slept –Of course she didn’t sleep much-. She decided she wouldn’t have any time to be at home. She decided to spend those days in the hospital with Mr. Hale. She had even arranged to enlist Susie late on a summer camp and she was about to drive her there that same afternoon.

Derek and I stared at her confused.

 

Part of me still believed that it was somehow related to me and the fact that she secretly despised me, but of course it was just me being melodramatic. It was something deeper than that.

She wanted silence, and calmness and even when she didn’t say it aloud by the way Derek looked at me I understood that we both were thinking the same.

She looked at us as a burden. One she couldn’t handle right then. Of course she disguised with nice words. Explain us that it would be better for us to enjoy of the scarce few weeks we have left of summer because our final year at school was just turning the corner.

Great! More shit to feel anxious about. –To not mention that I had no idea of how in the hell I was going to pay the ridiculously high fee- 

I didn’t want or would dare to disagree with Derek’s mom after all the problems my parents and I have caused, so I nodded feeling a bit down as if I have been kicked out of my home again. Derek in the other hand… Well, he wouldn’t let it go as easy as me, and who could blame him? It was his dad after all. However Derek’s mom wouldn’t accept a no for an answer.

We were concerned for her. I mean. She would stay completely alone in that empty house. You don’t have to be a genius to know what might happen there considering how messed up things where. However she shook her head before we could even have a chance to use it against her. She said she wouldn’t stay in the house either. She would spend those two weeks in the hospital at Derek’s dad room. They made the arrangements already. She would be with him twenty-four by seven until he woke up.

I know it was silly and all that shit, but a spark burst in chest to the thought of that. She wasn’t staying with him because it was her duty as the law read. She was doing it because she loved him.

That was what finally made me fully agree with her. She needed some time alone with her husband and even when Derek and I were…Well, even when Derek was a responsible adult. She didn’t feel like it was right to leave us on our own. You know, dutiful mom till the end.

Derek lost the arguing and we got in the car to drive back to school.

We would have to go there anyway because he left all our stuffs in there, but we didn’t expect it would be so soon and definitely didn’t think it would happen until Derek’s dad woke up. 

The way from home to school always swept me with a wave of emotions. Homesickness, nostalgia, excitement, anxiety and some others I couldn’t quite put the finger on, but most of the time were men-related. This time all those feelings were even harder to understand. Especially the homesickness. I never understood why I longed for my home hat much after leaving, I mean. I loved my parents but we weren’t that close, and of course, right then after all the arguing in the hospital, after the things we said, it felt even worse on my chest. I don’t know or can understand how you can wish stay away and miss someone so much at the same time, but that’s how I felt.

Being back in the empty dorm right on summer vacations didn’t just feel wrong, but also stupid. I felt useless and I think Derek kind of read my mind or needed to get his busy with something until those two weeks passed. What matters here, is that he came out with an idea.

We did a lot of rushing that day. Walking down the campus, meeting with people from summer school and others from the courses that were imparted in the campus while regular classes were on vacation. So…Oakwood wasn’t that empty after all.

We were planning on taking pictures and made fun of people without them even realizing it. 

It started very easy. We took our massive impressive cameras just to fool around near a couple of girls that chatted by the pond. I could see by the way they looked at Derek that they felt drawn to him. We exchanged glances and even thought I was annoyed by his smirk which led me to think of him, his dad, Allison and all the mess his life was lately, he definitely had to play the bait.

It worked of course. Remember that we were genius behind the camera and the girls loved the Jackples we showed them in my laptop when he sat for a break beneath one of the Oaks in campus.

Justine. I think it was her name, was super excited of how great she looked and she decided she would call on her boyfriend to come and take a look. Of course it wasn’t like we had a studio or anything, we just needed to crack some laughs and keep our hands busy and now that I was officially bankrupt I would appreciate any penny I could get my hands on.

 Justine had more friends, and what started as a simple almost flirting experiment for Derek, turned into something a bit more serious, especially when a lot girls on bikini showed asking us for taking some pictures of them in the sprinklers and while we did it a woman asked Derek if he would like to take some pictures for a fashion event she would be hosting the next day.

Of course it wasn’t the fashion week on Paris, but hell! That would definitely get us some money. Money I could use to pay school.

Deeply excited, we finished working on Justine and her friends while the woman who turned out to be attending of one of the summer courses wrote all the information in a piece of paper for me.

Many of the girls started asking if they could get print versions of the pictures and then we started wondering about dark rooms, chemicals and stuffs we haven’t worked with in ages, and somehow two hours later, our game started to become an idea and finally that night it officially turned into a plan.

We would have our own photography studio. Actually I started calling on some numbers to get the perfect place for us while Derek worked on an eye-catching logo. That was it. The last of the money in my bank account would go to that crazy idea. I hoped it worked, because apart from how excited I felt about it, it was my only hope.

…….

He knew there where big changes it would be Jack who answered the door that day, considering that Paula and Archie still couldn’t reach the handle of the door, but damn. Seriously had to be him?

Actually it was kind of funny. I’m so happy Jim decided to bring his camera just in case, because the look on Jack’s eyes was priceless. It was like watching a ten million megaton meteorite colliding on his face.

In three quarters of a second Jack’s eyes passed from pale grey to sparking blue, then to dark blue and almost red. His mouth wobbled and then stopped violently and went white in a very tight line.

“I knew you would come”

Jim snorted. “Really? I didn’t even know it myself”

Jack glared at him and then he sucked a breath. “I told you already. I don’t want anything to do with you”

“Yeah….Um… Are the kids at home?” Jim frowned.

Jack mimicked him. “What do you…?”

“You came!” Annie’s voice said from behind Jack in a loud shrill.

Wow! Was it Jim imagination or she was a foot taller? What the hell kids ate this days?

“I said I would” Replied Jim with a grin as he hugged her back.

“Annie what…?” Jack was starting to say when his mom’s voice cut him off.

“James! How are you sweetie?” Mrs. Woods said happily approaching them.

“Is good to see you Mrs. Woods. Are Paula and Archie ready?”

“Yes, of course” The woman nodded. “Where is your friend? I thought she come with you here?”

Jim shook his head. “I decided to come here first” He replied.

“Oh it is a shame. I would have loved to meet her”

“It’s a shame you can’t come” Jim pretended to complain.

“Oh honey” She giggled with her singsong voice “You know I’m busy, our committee is very busy. We have some events next month and we need to get everything ready”

The words kept going back and forth and all the time Jack remained silent, just staring at his mom and Jim without saying a word.

“I’ll be here when you’re back, you should join us for dinner. Wouldn’t that be nice Jack?” Mrs. Wood asked.

Jack nodded without saying a word.

Jim squinted. What was going on? Clearly Jack hadn’t say a word to his mom about being mad at Jim or the fact that he hated him because he was an evil homosexual that wanted to get in his pants. Yet…He nodded to the idea of Jim staying for dinner? Something weird was going on there.

“James!” Paula’s sparking voice shrilled from down below and Jim kneeled to hug her and her brother Archie.

“Remember to keep yourself hydrated” The woman said when Jim take the kids hands to lead them to his car. He used his free hand to draw his keys out and froze when a shadow came out of nowhere and passed by him. A shadow with the face of a Barbie doll.

_Beverly._

He had totally forgot about her. What was she doing there? Of course fixing things with Jack, but if she was there already it meant they have already talked and if so…Then…

She glared at Jim when they met their eyes.

“Hey Bev” Jim said casually.

“Nice to see you, chough-Fag-cough, James” She replied with a wicked smile after her coughing attack eased.

Jim’s blood started boiling. “Hope you stay for dinner. I heard they will make your favorite” He finished and got the kids in the car.

“I thought you were going with him” Said Mrs. Woods puzzled.

“We got better things to do” Jack cut her short to then invite Beverly in.

…….

I was so focused on Derek and our new company project that I literally forgot about everything else, and that included the betches, my parents, school and everything else. He slept over his laptop still designing the logo, for the look of it, it looked I was sure that it would be terrific in two more versions.

I felt a bittersweet tug on my tummy as I took off his glasses. It was weird to think that just three days ago we were in the nature capturing the beauty of silence with our cameras and fooling about who was better than the other, now I wasn’t sure of who we were anymore. I had so many questions inside me and I knew he had even more, and I found soothing how his lips slightly turned upward in the corners while he slept.

Whenever he where I hoped there was room for me too.

However it wasn’t that way. Nightmares haunted my night. I one Allison told Derek it was me who pushed his dad from the edge of the cliff, and I kept asking Derek to push me so I could remedy his aching.

My second nightmare was even darker. Even though no one died by my hand, I was in the hospital again, though Derek’s dad wasn’t in there, I’m not even sure the reason for us to be there, but we argued, and yelled to each other so badly. It intensified with each passing minute and I had the sensation like we were doing it harder and harder as a weird dark halo started surrounding them and taking them out of my reach.

The last one, well…Kyle had sex with Hip.

I jolted on bed and woke up when the sun was rising. Damn! It was starting to turn into a custom, and speaking of new habits…. I went to the bakery to get some sandwiches for breakfast and right when I was there I changed my mind. I wasn’t quite sure how or why, but something inside me told me that Derek would feel okay if he ate something made by myself. Does that make any sense to you? Well it certainly did to my stomach.

When I was leaving the store I heard the kitchen door creaking behind me and the scent of caramel apple bars filled the air. That crisp and guts twitching aroma.

I just couldn’t resist.

Since he thought me to make omelets on Sunset Valley, or at least he tried, I decided to give them another shot before I forgot how to do them. Of course they looked like something you could use to scare children in Halloween, but again after testing them, it turned out that they were mouthwatering. It looked like I was starting to understand how this cooking thing worked. It wasn’t that hard, and actually I warn and bright feeling burst in my chest right after Derek opened his eyes to find the tray on his lap.

Again. I know it looked life-threatening, and yet he didn’t hesitate to bring it to his mouth and swallow with a dreamful look in his eyes, and things only got better when he saw the bag with the caramel apple bars. 

I know Derek and I could understand each other without speaking, but since we were back the silence even when it wasn’t awkward or long, was starting to upset me.

So, if I wanted to get some of Derek back, why not use his favorite dessert?

He sighed after the first bite. “Can we…” He said with almost a gleeful smile. “Can we just stay in all day in bed? I’m so tired…”

I finished my own omelet. “Stay. Have some rest. I’ll be back in an hour or two?”

“Where you going?” He teased. “Are you getting pizza for breakfast?”

_Seriously? That’s the best joke you came out with?_  I rolled my eyes. “I’m checking places for rent. I think I found the perfect one and I want to go there before someone steals it from us”

“Oh…” He said still groggy. “Give me a minute and I’ll be ready” He said forcing himself to get out of bed.

“It’s okay. I can go. It is only two weeks away from here” I affirmed.

“It’s fine. I didn’t mean what I said about staying at home” He snapped and I noticed a bit coldness in his voice. He didn’t want me to leave him alone and I hadn’t notice.

How dumb I had been.

Derek got out of the room to have a shower and I stayed in bed checking the design, trying to figure out how to improve it.

Half an hour later we were meeting entering on our soon to be studio and we were delighted. It had room enough for a counter and our equipment and also a dark-room. It was fantastic.

While Derek arranged the details with the owner I tugged my phone out of my pocket to get some pictures to later sit and plan the look of the place and I realized I had a text. A text one day old.

“How’s Derek’s dad?” It was Kyle.

Wow! I forgot that Kyle existed in the same world as my new studio and Derek and everything that have happened those days.

It was crazy how things changed so suddenly.

“Sorry. I was busy. Will go to see you later today. Got exciting news” I replied and went to the camera.

I only had the change to take two pictures when my phone buzzed again.

“Really? How are you planning on coming here, exactly?”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not at home anymore. I’m back at my dorm”

“Oh…So…Derek’s dad is better? I can’t wait to get back, it feels like ages since the last time we so each other”

“We still don’t know if he will be okay. Where are you?”

“I’m on my parent’s farm. Will be back in a couple of days”

“When did you leave?”

“Yesterday morning. Got things to do right now. Will talk to you later. Okay? Take care. I miss you”

_I miss you._

“Stiles” Derek repeated for the ninetieth time and I snapped back to reality. “Wha…What?”

“Hurry up. We’re going to be late for the event” He urged me.

It was then when I realized that the owner was gone that it was Derek who was closing the store using the keys.

It was ours. It was ours! Everything was suddenly marching so fast and easy that it was almost suspicious. But it was ours. We officially had our own business. We were covering our first even and Kyle said _“I miss you”_ to me.

…….

Even though Jim was miles away from Jack’s home, his thoughts stayed there. The way Jack have acted in front of him. First stunned, then somehow happy to finally exteriorize his utter despise for Jim. Thought Jim wasn’t stupid, he knew Jack wanted to be mad at him, but that didn’t mean he actually was.

In any case it should have been him calling names to the former captain.

“Everything’s fine back there?” Jim asked checking on the kids on the rearview mirror.

The nodded, though he could tell that Annie seemed a bit mad for sitting with her siblings in the back while the place next to Jim was empty.

He smiled in his insides.

It wasn’t until that day that he realized how much he liked to hang out with them even when Jack wasn’t around and the idea of being just with the kids was thrilling and challenging. Would he make a good job? Could he really take care of them without any help? What was he going do to? Even when those thoughts overwhelmed him, he welcomed the challenge. He was enjoining it, actually. Though…He wondered if it would be his last time with them.

Jim wasn’t stupid. In fact, he was pretty good in math, which meant. He knew what Beverly was doing on Jack’s home there. It was so clear in his mind as if he have seen it for real.

After winning the championship Jack tried to get Beverly back asking her forgiveness for everything and blah blah blah. She didn’t feel any interest in get back with Jack but…She definitely wanted to hurt Jim.

Of course it was Jim’s guessing, but he couldn’t be very far from truth if you consider the way Bev looked at Jim and then Jack when she got there. She wasn’t there drawn by love or anything related. She wanted revenge.

Jim sighed and stopped the car outside the community center.

Remember when I told you that Jim had things to deal with? Well, he knew that what he did was terribly wrong, but until that day he have had no clue of how to deal with Amanda, and he felt awfully guilty about it. Yeah, of course he had the excuse of Jack’s breakdown, the championship and then Derek’s dad. However, a simple call could have made a difference in that poor girl’s life.

Amanda have lost her best friend. Both of them were little children, and Amanda was left alone in that community service waiting for what? She couldn’t even go to the funeral.

Jim sucked a breath and got out of the car to later open the doors and take the hands of Paula and Archie to walking them inside while Annie followed them.

Courtney received them with a big smile in the reception and she didn’t wait for Jim to reply when she called after Paige who came at once to meet Jim.

The woman on her forties and the founder of the center smiled please to see Jim again. He smiled back though he felt a bit uncomfortable there. He looked without seeing and breathed only the necessary. It was too soon and this was a bad idea. Amanda…

“I need to see her” He mumbled swallowing hard.

Paige started explain him Amanda’s situation. She was locked down in her room. She wouldn’t leave her bed, she wouldn’t play any games or talk to anyone.

When Jim explained him his idea to Paige, she rejected it at once, but after a couple of tries and letting her know how concerned he was about her Paige seemed to begin to understand his feelings. Yet she was still wasn’t convinced about letting her on Jim’s charge that day.

She guided Jim and the kids by the corridors. He played to not recognize the place and kept his mind busy on the words he would say to her, that way Emily’s part in the story was only happy thoughts, like the days they watched movies, ran down the hallways and sang songs. The good days.

That made him strong.

He found her in the room she shared with other two girls. She was alone though. It was exercising time and everyone was in the playground. Well, everyone except for Amanda who was laying on her bed staring at the ceiling.

Jim asked Annie to keep an eye on her siblings and went to see her.

Amanda jumped on her place when she saw him. She didn’t say a word though. Actually she looked mad. At Jim? At Life?

Mad at God.

“You can’t be mad at him” Jim scratched his head after hearing that.

“She gave her cancer. He gave me cancer too and didn’t give me parents, he is keeping here”

Jim…Couldn’t believe what he was listening. She wasn’t just a girl because she couldn’t get what she wanted for Christmas. She was deeply disappointed on life and she only was eleven.

“Mandy…I don’t think…?” _Think? I can’t say that._ He hesitated. He had to be careful with the following words he said. If Paige said the truth Amanda rarely spoke those days. He couldn’t miss his chance and needed to bring her back from wherever she was.

“I don’t think you are seeing the whole picture. It wasn’t God’s fault any of you was diagnosed with Cancer” He started trying to sound as wise as Jack would had if he had been there.

“But then…Why?” She tried to reply, but Jim cut her off.

“Maybe he couldn’t avoid for you to have cancer, but he gave you biggest friend you could have wished for, and I know she is gone, and it hurts. It hurts me very much and I wish I could take your pain so you didn’t have to feel this way, but you what? God gave us this feelings so we can understand how good and amazing she was, the harder it hurts the more I realize how happy I she made us feel and she still makes us feel when you close your eyes and relive those moments in your mind. And I know that maybe you think he didn’t give you parents, but actually he gave many. For example Paige, she isn’t your real mom, but she loves you as if she was and she is crazy-concerned about you like a mother would have and you have the rest of the nurses and you have Jack and me, we all are a big family and we all love you”

Amanda broke and she threw her arms to Jim’s neck.

She sobbed over his shoulder for a while. Her whole body stirring uncontrollably for all the burden she had been carrying on her for long. Jim felt guiltier than ever for not coming sooner, however he had to stay strong for her. She needed him.

“I miss her” She whispered with a stuttering voice that came through him like a knife.

“Me too” He admitted hugging harder.

“Where is Jack?” She asked breaking apart to clean her nose on her pajama.

“He…Couldn’t make it today, but he will come soon. I promise” _He better do._

Annie opened the door for Paige who knocked seconds after Paige recovered the control over her breathing and she could notice the change in the girl at once. Of course she wasn’t recovered and of course that wouldn’t be the last time she would cry for Emily or fear death, but Jim felt the woman thanks when she brushed his shoulder with a hand and slowly touched Amanda’s cheek with the other.

“James told me he would like to take you out to play in a pool today. What do you say?”

Amanda who was drying her eyes snapped stunned. “Really? Can I…Can I go with him?”

Paige looked at Amanda thoughtfully and then stared at Jim. He could read it on her face. She was saying yes just because Amanda was talking again.

“You can go if you promise you will be careful and if James promises you will be back before dinner”

Jim gave her a lopsided smirk. “Promise”

And now with all the kids in the car, Jim drove to his parent’s house. They had a very large pool that even had a kid’s part where Paula and Archie could play safely without any danger.

Constance was one of the women that cleaned on his parent’s house, and she had a nice, Caroline. Who always was with her, sadly there weren’t any kids on Jim parent’s house in years, so when he got home the first thing he did was to look for her. Even when she was two years older than Amanda maybe they could talk a little and even become friends if Jim was lucky.

Archie and Paula splashing water over each other’s faces was the cutest thing you would watch in your life. Really, it would win over all the cats’ videos on internet. On the right, in the mid-sized pool Amanda shyly answered and nodded to Caroline’s chatting but Jim could see that bit a bit she was starting to keep on the pace to her and actually was starting to take more part in the conversation.

“James? She will die, right?” Asked Annie with concern while she sat next to him in the pools edge where he tanned his skin a bit.

_I will never let that happen._ Shook his head. “No, she is doing alright”

“But her friend died. The girl Jack was so sad about”

Jim could see the shade in her eyes even with the sunglasses she was wearing.

Jim sucked a breath and nodded. “Yes. Emily died, but Amanda will be okay. She hasn’t been sick in almost a full year. There are big changes her illness won’t come back”

Annie hesitated a smirk. “I hope she get better”

_I will make sure of that._ “Met too”

Jim glanced at Amanda and sighed. She smiled listening to whatever crazy story Caroline was telling her, maybe her eyes weren’t smiling yet, but it was a start.

“So…Where did you get that bikini?” Jim arched a brow.

“It was Kristie’s when she was my age” Annie blushed.

Jim squinted. “Does your mom…”

“James no!” She quickly said. “She can’t know”

“Don’t worry. I won’t tell” He affirmed with a smile. “But, why this sudden change? I don’t know…I have the feeling something’s going on with you”

“She looked away”

“Come on!” Jim teased and stood to sit at the other side of her.

Annie blushed. “There is a boy” She muttered embarrassed.

Jim smiled pleased. “Really? When did you meet him? How is he? He is your age right?”

“He is” She nodded. “I meet him at school church’s summer camp. He is like me” She looked down with her cheeks burning.

“A Christian?” Jim frowned. “Well I guess he has to be a Christian to be in a…”

Annie rolled her eyes. “We kissed”

_Oh…_ ”Oh…When you say we…You mean he...”

“Well. I kissed him” She snapped choking a chortle.

Amanda and Caroline looked at them and frowned and Jim cracked in laughs. “How was it?”

“He was didn’t see it coming”

“But…Did you like it?”

She nodded. “He did too” Replied with a singsong voice similar to her mother’s.

…….

This woman Liz made us drive to the other side of the city and believe we were trespassing private property when we turned the curve and understood that we were supposed to get inside an abandoned building of a company. Okay, it looked pretty well from the outside, but as soon as we got inside we thought we have been fooled. Anyway, my point is that when we finally found the part of the building where the event was going to be held, we were very, very impressed. We passed from behind inside the stage of a dystopian movie to jump into one of the magazines Liam loved to read.

Things were still being settled and worked and as soon as she found us she sighed with relief. Her clothes were definitely fashion styled, but there was something odd about them that I still couldn’t puzzle out. She asked us to find our places while she finished working on the look of the room.

Derek would be in charge of the pictures while I prepared the rails she got for us so I could tape all the event. As the time stretched we felt more excited about this. I mean, the first time we saw Liz we thought it wouldn’t be that a big event or anything and even when the room was short, the chairs for the guesses were so scarce, it gave off so glamorous air, could it be that we were working on a very secret event for very important people? Just the thought of it made me shiver.

Five hours later we got everything set and a cramping stomach because of the hunger, five women dressing very plushy, accompanied by two bodyguards and one boy of our age –All looking flawless- Sat around the runway and the music started. I have seen the light show hours ago so I have already planned a strategy for the shooting to get the best of the models who I still hadn’t seen yet.

An old man come into the room when the lights went low and he started playing the piano that was set at Derek’s right. As soft and lulling music filled the air, I began my trip around the room. Right then I only resented Derek had to work on the pictures, working together we could have got more and better angles, but if Liz seemed to trust blindly in my judgment even she didn’t know me and to be honest, didn’t matter, because as soon as the first model came out I caught Derek taking the first picture, I knew we made the right choice coming back to school on summer.

All the years Derek aged the past three days faded, and now I was looking at the same dumb boy who loved to spend hours fighting with me about who was better photographer. I know I should have been focusing in the model that was now right in the top of the runaway. A very attractive guy in his twenties that I must say –Hell- if he was modeling clothes for that VIP group he had or soon would be someone important. But I kept my eye on Derek to check his welfare. Even when I trusted him, there was some fear something might go wrong with him at any minute, but no. He seemed happier and happier as he moved around the room taking pictures of the model who now was back with a new change of clothes. And ten minutes later came out again with a new outfit. Really? Was he the only model for that show? Why?

I diverted my eye from Derek and now joined it to the camera to take a look to this boy. As I said before, he was so cute I almost wet my pants now that I was really looking at him, and even worse, anything he wore made him look like a movie star. He was famous, or slightly famous. I knew I have seen him before, but I wasn’t sure where exactly. Probably on a billboard, though he didn’t look to be very professional or he was a bit uneasy, because every time he came out his eyes went straight to me. Well, of course it wasn’t me, I almost forgot I was recording the show and felt like another guess. Anyway, he was very interested in the take, and definitely was the very common panic that models felt in front of cameras from time to time, but it seemed serious on him, because, again I repeat. I almost…Almost swear….He was….Looking at me.

…….

It was a quiet afternoon. Jim was still unsure of how Amanda would handle being introduced to a new friend after what happened, but so far she had been responded well and he realized two things. First of all, it would be good for her to stay in touch with Caroline and secondly, Amanda needed to get out of community center.

“James?” Annie mumbled.

“Yeah?” He arched a brow.

“You didn’t listen!” She complained.

“Sorry” He sighed. “Can you keep an eye on the kids? I’ll be back. Okay?”

Annie chugged and nodded.

Jim walked inside the house and went straight to his dad office in the second floor right at the bottom of the hallway.

When he opened the double doors he…Found his parents making out.

“Hey” He said casually thought he was a bit uncomfortable, though he knew them damn pretty well to know they would continue if he showed some discomfort.

“Baby. When did you came back?” Asked his mom excited as she went straight to hug him with her slender arms.  

“A couple of hours ago. I saw your car coming home, but didn’t want to disturb. Constance told me you didn’t have much vacations after all”

“She’s over reacting” Replied his dad taking his glasses off and detaching his eyes from the computer to look at Jim. “Just minor issues. You know the woman. She thinks a flu is a reason to call nine-one-one”

Jim smiled briefly.

“I’m happy to see you James” His dad nodded toward him.

Even when Mr. Mighty and scary Evan Taylor was just five years older than Jim’s mom, you could easily guess he was like twenty or even more. Jim supposed it was because of the company he ran that was draining the life out of him. Still….He had enough strength to smile for his son, which….To be honest. Was very rare. After all, the only times Jim saw his dad was when he was about to hear his yells about Jim’s drugged pictures brought home by a police officer or the owner of a magazine blackmailing the family.

“This is the last time:” His dad used to warn as he paid for the media’s silence.

“This is the last time:” Jim agreed with him while he mocked in his insides.

Now everything was different.

“I heard you team won” He smiled proudly.

“I wasn’t there, but yes we…they won” Jim nodded.

Evan Taylor smiled pleased. “Your project. How was it?” Even when he said those words on a formal tune, Jim could feel something underneath. It wasn’t just a parent listening to his kids’ silly stories. The business Tycoon was speaking to a possibly new promise.

“It…Was fine. Actually I’m trying to gather ideas for a newer model”

His dad nodded. “There! Exactly! Don’t feel safe with just finishing, start planning your future moves. I like how you think”

Jim squinted at his mom. Well, apparently she had been busy spying on him. How much did she know?

“I came to ask you something” Jim cleared his throat. “I wanted to know if one of your contacts can find a clinic for me”

His dad gave him a puzzled look. “Is…Is there something we need to know?” Fear leaped through his eyes.

“There…” Jim started to tell them Emily and Amanda’s story, though making sure to avoid any kind of detail related to Jack, the last thing he wanted was his mom getting her nose there too. If she hadn’t already.

When Jim was ready he saw the concern on his mom’s eyes. She indeed didn’t know anything about the girls.

“How….Is she here?” She mumbled.

Jim nodded. “She is alright. There aren’t any traces and actually she doesn’t need a wig anymore, she looks beautiful, but she needs to be in a place where they can be constantly looking out of her, at least until they know it is completely gone”

“And then what?”

_And then what?_ Jim repeated to himself in his mind as he drove.

He looked through the review mirror.

Paula and Archie were fast asleep with their heads resting on Annie’s shoulders.

On the only space left was Amanda with her eyes on the road and nowhere at the same time. Of course it was a normal thing. He couldn’t just expect her to change that suddenly, he couldn’t expect her to just become a normal eleven year old girl after all she have went through, it would be something to be even more concerned about. She would need time, but she would heal and he would too.

But as the time passed and the kids grew, he would need a larger car. Maybe a family van, because before he realized Paula and Archie would be ten. He almost stopped the car just to look back at Annie. She was growing on so fast, and soon she would have a lot of questions. And Amanda…She would be happy again and alive.

That’s one of the problems with thinking too much. Instead of going first to the hospital to drop Amanda, he suddenly realized he was outside the Woods’ house.

“Annie. Are you awake?” He asked.

“I am” She replied groggily.

He climbed down of the car and carried Paula over one of his shoulders and Archie on the other while Annie followed him to the entrance.

She was going to open the door for him when it suddenly swoon open and Mrs. Woods looked at him.

“Here we are” Jim said with a smirk.

“I hope they weren’t much of a problem”

“Not at all. We had a great afternoon together” Said Jim as he went inside and ignored Jack who helped him to carry the kids to the couch.

“Thanks” Said Jim politely.

“Don’t worry” Jack replied dryly.

Jim hugged Annie at the door waved goodbye to Mrs. Woods to get to his car.

“James, please wait” Mrs. Woods said sternly at his back and Jim froze.

When he turned, he knew something was wrong and his mind clicked.

He have forgotten about Bev and the things she probably said to the Woods while he was gone.

…….

My arms were sore, but not as much as my ego. I mean. I recorded a fucking fashion show with a model star, or soon-to-be model star, and I know this is crazy, but I was almost –cero point one percent- sure this guy wanted to meet me. I mean…He kept his eyes on me the full hour that lasted even in which again, he was the only model –WEIRD-, that the craziest thing of all, was that when we were packing our things and all the guesses were gone, Liz went straight looking for us as fast as her heels let her and she said he…What was his name? I couldn’t remember back then, but she said he wanted to check the things we got.

You got to see my face. Well, it isn’t like I saw my face, but I can image how I looked. Anyway, I tried to hide it because Derek glared at me and I could read it on his eyes –Be professional- And before I had the chance to reply he cleared his throat and said they would get everything after we made the final cuts. He excused us again and got our things back into the car.

“We got a busy day, remember?” He said rolling his eyes when I sat in the passenger sit with crossed arms.

“Don’t tell me you’re mad” He snorted.

“Mad? Why?” I said played the fool.

“I bet Kyle would thank me” He mumbled with a smug snicker and handled me his camera to take a look at the pictures while he drove.

“What that’s supposed to mean?” I grumbled sucking a breath of the dry and hot breeze that hit me when we got into the road.  

“Never mind” He chortled and drove in silence a couple of more minutes until we found the mall.

He had been right after all. With all the rush the fashion show and the amount of work we had ahead and I had forgotten about everything else. It was surreal, actually. I mean, I was the owner of photo studio –Yeah, yeah, yeah I wasn’t the owner but the co-owner and it wasn’t a photo studio, but a crappy photo study- I felt funny, as if I had woken up that day being three feet taller than the day before.

We went into the home department and got the paint for the walls. Actually we had stayed looking around for a while and trying some Jackples and comparing colors for hours and had an arguing about colors –You know, the typical things we used to do- The woman who was showing us the colors grew sick of us pretty quick and she had to send someone else while we laughed under our breaths about it. When the sun was fully down we left the mall after agreeing autumn colors would be the ones we would use.

That night felt odd to me in many ways. I don’t know if I can compare them, but it almost felt like the day Derek and I left home to start a new life at college.

The dry warm air of that summer night almost scrapped my skin and my lungs. It felt raw and living as if inviting me to go somewhere with it. The lights passing by me told stories about happy times and the smile on Derek’s face made me forget who we were and now everything was a dream. He pulled up the volume of the song in the radio and I breathed. And I realized that I had been holding my breath for days, or maybe months. That’s how that night felt.

Like a new beginning.

That foreign feeling surrounded Derek too. He seemed to have forgotten all the issues with his family. I know it is wrong, but I can I felt his mom had been right. We needed this, we couldn’t do anything else is those two weeks than wait. Why not just forget to wait and live instead?

“I’ll get something for dinner” He said causally after hours of silence.

We finished unloading the paint and he grabbed his keys.

When Derek was gone. I put some music on my phone, grabbed a brush and stared at the walls. God! We would be painting all night and Derek had to wake up early to finish the paperwork with the owner and the lawyer, and of course pay some taxes. Was this a good idea after all?

I laughed aloud and brushed the wall.

“You are too quiet. Is Derek’s dad okay?” Said Kyle’s text.

How in the hell my hands ended up all painted? Actually there was more paint in my palms than in the wall.

“Sorry. I’ve been busy” I replied in a text and as soon as I pressed send I… _Sorry?_  

Sorry? Okay, I guess you think I was drugged. Well, not that I knew. As I said before, this whole day had been and felt alien to me, and I guess part of it got into me. I felt like a stranger in my own town, I felt like I was living a new life. Actually I had even forgotten about the school and now what mattered was our business.

“New script?” Kyle texted again.

“Not exactly. Some other stuffs. You’ll see it when you’re back” I typed.

“Oh come on! What’s going on? You can’t expect me to wait until I’m back. Is it something good?”

“Yes”

“Can I know?”

“NO”

He sent a voice note calling me names and I shoved my phone in my pockets cracking a laugh.

“What are you laughing at?” I heard Derek at my back and I felt a tasty scent in the air.

“Nothing I was just making Kyle mad’ I laughed as I turned and froze.

“Hey you! Why you didn’t tell me you were back already?” Kristie said happily. She was right next to Derek carrying another pizza box and was wearing an apron over her short pants.

She was Kyle’s replacement while he was on vacation! I forgot that! She was just three stores at the left and we were settling this thing up and hadn’t say a word, but that wasn’t what made me feel like crap. Oh no! It was the fact that she heard me talking that way about Kyle. I didn’t say anything weird, right? And I wasn’t going to say anything related to the project, however it suddenly felt wrong. Why? Everything was okay when I thought it was Derek who was listening but now…

“Are you okay Stily?” Kristie frowned.

“Yeah…Yeah. I’m great” I smiled at her and all the confusion in my chest faded.

She looked around impressed and then let out at a loud scream that bounced on the walls and replicated itself countless times by the echo. “Wow! This place is perfect to have sex” She cracked in laughs.

Derek and I exchanged awkward glances and then laughed too.

“So…You were keeping all this a secret? I can’t believe you didn’t tell me” She pouted her lips and arched a brow at me.

“I…I’m sorry…We have just been too busy, I hadn’t even notice we were this close until you came in with Derek” I tried to excuse myself. 

“I understand, it is just that…I can’t believe Allison didn’t say a word”

I almost heard his thoughts. _Allison_. That’s what I said in my mind. That was the echo I heard coming from Derek’s head.

We hadn’t just forgotten to tell Allison about our own new photo-studio. We have forgotten about her whole.

_Good. She deserves it._ I thought.

Not good from Derek’s perspective, though. He seemed disappointed with himself.

God! I wished I could just tell him Allison was a psycho who wasn’t just obsessed with him and wanted him to have no friends, but also that she cheated on him twice.

“I should…”

“She must be asleep” I cut him short.

“Asleep?” Derek frowned “But if is only…Damn!” He gasped when he checked his watch.

“Long night ahead. Uh?” Kristie chuckled devilishly.

“Don’t you have work to do delivery girl?” Derek teased.

They both smiled and then something clicked in her eyes. “Guys! You…This is a picture store” She let out excited.

“Well I wouldn’t call it a…”

“You can help me!” She giggled.

Derek and I exchanged confused glances.

“Kyle’s birthday is in a month and a half! And I’ve been copying all the pictures we have taken since we met and I wanted to make a super fun video, with the pictures and audios and takes from his practices and the characters he have played, what do you say? Please say yes! I don’t know how I could have forgotten you were movie geniuses!”

And the more the she talked the more I wanted to laugh. I can’t explain, she just had this fire in her that makes you love even more every day.

“What do you say?” She pleaded.

Derek and I exchanged glances once more, this time to share our understanding on how crappy her idea sounded, but we didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

“Grab a brush, we got work to do” He replied with a smile and the three of us started to work while we ate our pizzas.

…….

“I think we agreed you would be here before dinner, James” Said Paige grudgingly when Amanda and he crossed the hallway.

“I’m really sorry Paige, I had to deal with something” He replied sucking a breath.

“Is everything okay? Did Amanda do something?”

Jim shook his head as they started their way in and Jim couldn’t help noticing the hole in the ceiling where some liquid was dripping slowly.

“Amanda is wonderful” He stated with a grin.

“Then…” Paige arched a brow.

“Family stuffs” Jim lied.

“I hope everything gets better”

“It is, really. It wasn’t a big thing” He said casually.

“What about you Amanda? Did you have a good day?” Paige asked motherly and then they heard the voices of the kids coming after them.

“James! James!” Called Tony from his back. “Is true Amanda and you went to a pool? Can I go next time? Please?”

Jim looked at Paige arching a brow, but she seemed as stunned as he was.

“I…How…How have you been?” He tried to reply, luckily the rest of the kids surrounded them, and all of them started talking at the same time, asking questions to Amanda, Paige and him, which would make impossible to directly answer to Tony.

“Why are all of you here right now? You should be having dinner” Paige stared at them with an imperative look.

Without saying anything else the kids looked down and went back to the dining room.

“You should go to your room Amanda. Candice left your food there ten minutes ago” The woman ordered.

“I…” Amanda whispered. “Can I have dinner with James?”

“I don’t think James has time for…”

“Yes, please if it isn’t asking too much” Jim hurried to say. He didn’t want to stay. Standing there with them easily brought painful memories about Emily to his mind. He couldn’t even image how it could be for Amanda.

“Alright, I will fetch a plate for you both, then” She said making them signs to follow her.

Amanda hesitantly approached Jim and he took her hand. They got inside the dining room and the rest of the kids once again burst into shouts and questions for Jim and he felt a little calmer and so did Amanda.

They sat in the staff’s table and minutes later Paige brought them their trays.

Jim looked at Amanda while she stared at her food, and then they brought their spoons to their mouths at the same time.

While they ate Jim started telling Paige what they had done that day in the hopes Amanda would feel like speaking too.

She didn’t do much. She just nodded when Paige asked her questions and smiled and Jim teased that maybe they could do more often, a thing that Paige answered with a sternly look.

While they chatted, some of the kids that have already eaten tried to join the conversation, but Paige sent them straight to brush their teeth and then to bed. Jim said goodbye to most of them and the more he stayed there the more he noticed that flaws in the building, the unlatching and old chairs they had and how pealed the walls were, the surely missed several years of painting.

“James, can you…Read a bedtime story to me?” Amanda asked when she was ready and Jim came back from wherever he was.

“Oh….Umm…”

“Amanda” Paige said with a disapproving tone. “James is tired! He needs to go home and…”

“It’s okay” Jim smiled. “I can stay a bit longer if you let me”

Paige again threw him a look that said _“Just because she is talking again”_

He thanked her and led Amanda to brush her teeth and then helped her to get in bed. The rest of the girls in the room surrounded Amanda’s bed as Jim pulled one of the worn books from the center’s library and began to read a fairy tale.

When he was halfway in the story, most of the girls slumbered and Paige got the task of carrying them to their beds while Jim kept reading and Amanda’s eye flickered more often until her head felt on her shoulder and he stood.

He closed the book, turned to Paige when he felt a tug on his shirt.

“James”

He spun again.

“Don’t go, please” Amanda pleaded drowsily.

Something stung him in the chest and Jim sat again opening the book to continue the story.

Amanda straightened her back on the bed and fixed her eyes on him once more. It was just a matter of minutes before she fell asleep again, but this time Jim continued reading until the story was over. He wanted to make sure she heard the happy ending, even if it was in her dreams.

He kissed her forehead before standing again. He covered her with the comforter and joined Paige at the door.

“Thank you, James” She sighed with exhaustion in her voice. “I really appreciate your help with Amanda” She turned off the light and closed the door at their back.

“We need to get Amanda out of here” He stated

Paige paled. “You…You can’t do that” Fear leaped in her eyes. Yet, she was right. He couldn’t.

“She can’t stay here, Paige. This place will drive her crazy, maybe will even make her sick again if she doesn’t get out of this circle of sadness she is trapped in”

Paige’s expression hardened. “And where do you plan to take her? Do you have any idea of how expensive is a private clinic?”

“I can help” He offered.

Her face reddened. “Do you have a job, James?”

He shook his head. “No, but my parents…”

“Your parents. Are your parents the owners of clinic? Are they going to pay for the treatment? Things aren’t that easy, James”

“She can’t stay here and you know it. I know you love her and you need her as much as she needs you, but she can’t stay here. It isn’t good for her”

“And will be better for her to go there, where she knows no one? Where those nurses will treat her like she is just another one? They won’t see how special she is, they won’t remind her that she is loved and cared. It is just their job. A job I have been doing since she is two years old!”

Jim took Paige by her shoulders. “Paige, I’m not putting on doubt your love for Mandy. I can see how you care and I really understand that this must be painful for you, but you will be able to visit her anytime you want. I’m still waiting for my dad’s name of the clinic, then the three of us can go there and visit. I know it is hard, but we must think what is best for her”

He sighed after finishing.

Paige sucked a breath and touched Jim’s face slightly with her hand as if trying to feel his skin to make sure he was there after all.

“I’m sorry. It is just too soon:” She muttered defeated.

“Not for her. We should have done this before” He hugged her to say goodbye.

“You have to come more often” She said as they walked to Jim’s car. “You definitely made a change”

“I’ll try to come every day from today”

“I want to see the clinic alone before taking her” She demanded when he got into his car.

“No problem. I’ll let you know as soon as I get the address” Finished and drove away while Paige waved at his back.

He turned on the radio and keep himself busy on driving, but his mind quickly brought him back in time.

“Why don’t you come inside and have a sit, James?” Mrs. Woods offered kindly, however Jim could feel something odd in the air.

“Sorry. I can’t stay. I must go to the community center in a minute”

This didn’t seem to like to Mrs. Woods whose nostrils inflated. “Alright then” She snapped looking uncomfortable. “Beverly told me that you are….A…She told me you are a homosexual”

There it was.

Cold water froze him from inside out. It was like a déjà vu, like when he was in high school and the bitch consoler tried to get him spelled because of the sex video in the school’s servers.

He wanted to tell her to fuck off, mind her own business, but he couldn’t find his voice.

“I…I…I must say that….I’m…Um… You know I love my lord Jesus Christ above anything, and it has been a challenge for me to deal with this so suddenly. But… I…I don’t understand it, I want to however. You are very kind and wonderful young man and even when I am very disappointed right now” She sucked a breath while Jim looked at her shocked.

“Even when I am very disappointed right now. I want you to know, that you can count with my full support and my family’s, either if you want to stay a homosexual or if you would like our help to recover from this very inappropriate choice you made”

Jim blinked once, twice. _This got to be a joke._ He thought. Mrs. Woods. Even when she always had been so nice to him, she was so strict and Christian he thought she would probably grow horns and spit fire if she ever discovered that her son was friend with a homo and not just a homo but our self-declared king. Jim-the-original-betch-Taylor. And yet…And yet there she was, still being a homophobic crazy bitch, but…Trying to understand because of Jim.

Do you have any idea of how many people could have wished or waited for that chance? That is what happened. She learned to love Jim while she thought he was straight, he had him on a very high stem because of the person he was, and now that she knew he was gay, even when she hated gay people, she couldn’t just ignore the person Jim had always been on her eyes.

He couldn’t miss his chance.

He cleared his throat.

“Um…I…I didn’t want you to learn about this Mrs. Woods. But I guess this situation got out of our hands”

“I couldn’t agree more” She nodded.

“I’m really sorry you got to go through this” He teased. “I really hoped Bev would get better and we could leave it in the past, but I guess…I guess…”

“What are you talking about, James?” She frowned.

“There is a misunderstanding here” He explained with deep concern. “You will see. Bev is very upset because I accidentally made a surprise birthday party for her, but I didn’t know about her problem until Jack told me”

The woman froze. “What…What problem are you talking about?”

“Oh…! Didn’t…Didn’t you know?” He scratched the back of his head and licked his lips that felt dry, “I didn’t want to believe it at first, but after considering it, everything made sense. Jack was right. She has a disorder, with food”

She gaped.

“I swear I didn’t know Mrs. Woods. And I am really sorry. I just wanted her to have a happy birthday, and got her a cake, and many cookies and a chocolate fountain, because I thought she would like it, but she cried and ran away and made a scene in front of the whole team and then yelled at me in the lobby of the hotel in front of everybody. Our couch was so upset and so were the rest of the guesses”

He covered his face embarrassed. “I didn’t want to say anything, because I don’t want her to get hurt, but I guess it is getting more dangerous. She is getting thinner and thinner, and hadn’t seen her eat since I meet her. It is scary, it all makes sense what Jack told me and the way she looks at food, as if it would jump over her and hurt her and the longing in her eyes and the pain. I really didn’t want to hurt her. I really didn’t want to”

Mrs. Woods was speechless, but after a couple of minutes of silence she finally spoke. “Ja…James. I’m, I’m really sorry I didn’t…I didn’t know I…I mean yes! I knew. Kristie warned me! She told me Bev didn’t like my food, and I excused her all the time but now…My lord! She was right. You are right James. I didn’t want to see it, but it is true! She looked so slim today, so fragile…”

“I’m really sorry” Jim excused himself.

“Oh dear no! I am the one who needs to apologize, James! I can’t believe I…I accused you of….Oh my…I’m really sorry…I’m really, really sorry” She approached him and hugged tight. “I can’t believe I told you…Oh I feel see embarrassed right now. I need to call her mother”

“Don’t worry, it is okay” He affirmed and he let go of it.

The song ended and Jim climbed down of his car, waved at the security guard and got into the elevator to his home. It was an odd night for him too. He didn’t feel the same neither. Things were starting to change for us.

…….

Have you ever slept on dusty cold marble floor? Well, it probably must count as some kind of middle age torture practice. We were so tired, we literally dropped on the floor when we were just a wall away from finishing.

The pain awakened me. I rolled over my back and grabbed my phone to check the time.

It was five in the morning. Crap! I wanted to sleep some more, but it was impossible on that floor.

Had a text from Kyle. “Talk to you in the morning. Good night”

Wow! It was odd, how much we talked over the phone now, and now that I considered, it almost felt as if he wasn’t gone.

“Good night” I texted back and sat to straighten my back and felt how all my muscles and my spine cursed me.

It was then when I noticed the empty place.

I stood and walked to the entrance.

I found Derek sitting in the walkway looking up at the sky with swollen eyes. Had he been crying? Or were those the signs of extreme exhaustion.

“Remember when we used to image what kind of alien would live on each planet?” He asked without even looking at me.

I sat next to him and hugged my legs, the air was cold at that hour, even on summer.

“You were terrible at it” I teased. “Don’t get why all of them would look green to you”

“Blame it to Hollywood. It ruined our lives”

“Yeah, just look what it made us do” I pointed at the store in our backs.

“We will do it right. You will see. We’re going to make it” He smiled with his eyes still fixed in the sky.

I almost could see the starts reflecting on his eyes, or maybe they were shinning by themselves. Illuminating the night. He was being strong. He was being Derek. Those words, weren’t just about succeeding, no. That was shallow. Derek wasn’t Shallow. He was talking about me and the future. Even when we haven’t talked about it, he knew my parents weren’t sponsoring my studies anymore. Again he was looking out after me, even when his world crumbled, even when he was hanging on a cliff. He wouldn’t use his free hand to save himself, no. He would use it to hold me, to save me from sinking into the void.

I swallowed. All the bubbliness of our new beginning faded a little.

“Derek. I’m really sorry for…”

“You don’t have to. You couldn’t know”

“If I would have heard you I…”

“We don’t know if your parents would have listened to you. You know them, they are stubborn”

Ouch! “Still. I could have done more”

“And you would still blame yourself” He snapped.

“And you would still blame yourself” I shot back.

Derek tilted his head toward me and we locked our eyes. My guts squirmed. I couldn’t believe I dared to say it after all, but I had to take responsibility for my actions and my parent’s and also let him know that he didn’t have a reason to blame himself. It was stupid to think that it was his fault.

“What do you think?” He asked fixing his eyes again in the stars.

“He will be alright. I know he will, it isn’t just that he is strong, because he is. I just know he will come through this, and everything will be fine in the end”

“I know what you mean” He agreed with a smirk. “I feel the same way. Something inside me tells me everything will be alright, but there is a little part of me that tells me…He won’t…He won’t be okay” He swallowed. "It’s scary”

“Don’t listen to that voice” We heard Kristie’s voice say at our backs. “I never listen to mine, and I’m pretty fine”

Derek and I exchanged glances and cracked in laughs.

“Why are you laughing?” She grunted.

“I’m happy I heard the voice that told me to run away from your snoring” Derek teased and we laughed again as Kristie glared at us.

“You should go home and sleep” I looked at Derek. “We got a pretty long day ahead”

He agreed by nodding.

We closed the store and said goodbye to Kristie who came back to Kyle’s place.

When we were back in our dorm I almost passed out before reaching the bed.

My head touched the pillow and as soon as my eyes closed it was eight am and Derek was shaking me to tell me that breakfast was in the oven and that he would spend the morning with the lawyer finishing the paperwork.

I slurred a response and forced myself to get out of bed.

Oh I was so tired! I can swear I was still asleep while I ate my socks and put on my breakfast. It was horrible feeling and the worst of it, was the fact that I would had to get back to the store to finish painting by myself since Derek and Kristie would be busy on their stuffs.

Who was the great idea of having his own business?

Damn!

I zombied to the store, saving myself from being hit by a car because my phone buzzed and I stopped to read a text from my mom.

“If you need money let me know”

I smiled bitterly. “I’m okay, thanks”

Now that the sun was drying the paint and the stench was fading, the store was starting to look more like Derek and I imagined it.

I opened the door and went to the back to grab the foldable ladder and the paint.

Yawning continued with last-night’s job. An advice kids, don’t you ever work on something when you are more asleep than awake, or you will end up cleaning the brown paint from the wall that was already white-painted.

Shit! Derek was going to kill me, if my exhausting didn’t do it first. All the time and effort I used to clean the mess I made could have been well used to finish once and for all and leave for that afternoon the task of getting the furniture and the counter in place, but no, I had to make a mess as always.

I checked my watch. By then Derek would be printing the logo and flyers. I had two hours top before he was there. I had to finish the wall soon or else he would think I got back to bed instead of working as we discussed night before.

“Wow! It looks even better than I thought” That voice echoed in the walls, then bounced right into my skull and a shiver ran down my spine.

I almost fell of the ladder but somehow managed to steady myself before making another mess and probably breaking my neck.

“What…What…” I was starting to say.

“Sorry I didn’t came earlier. I was busy talking to some of my friends about coming over to make a damn-hot opening day. Actually I was thinking about a Jingle, though of course it wouldn’t cost you anything. They own me a favor”

“What are you doing here?” I finally managed to demand between the shock and the drowsiness.

Hip arched a brow. “Der called me and asked me to come over and help, and wow! You did a great job. I don’t think you…”

“Are you kidding? I don’t need your help” I grumbled.

“Whoa! Easy! You are very grumpy on mornings don’t you?”

I jumped down of the ladder. “Why would Derek call you? You’re lying. I got this almost covered”

“Yeah. I’m sure that brown stain that wall was planned” He joked

“Get out! I don’t need your help” I snapped.

“Jesus! What’s your problem? I’m just trying to help!”

“To help? Do you think I’m stupid? I know what you’re doing and no! Leave Derek alone! He is not gay!”

Hip’s confusion and innocent face was soon replaced by a devilish grin. “You don’t know that” He teased.

My head throbbed and my heartbeat kicked up. “Stay away from Derek, betch. I’m warning you!”

He scoffed. “Don’t you have enough with Kyle, uh?”

“What the hell that’s supposed to mean?” I balled my hands.

“Just because Char doesn’t like you doesn’t mean that…”

“What?” I laughed. “Betch, how many times I need to tell you to don’t do drugs? He’s not gay, get over it”

He rolled his eyes and played with the piercing in his tongue in a very sex-charged way. “Yeah, it’s clear that’s what you did”

“I’m warning you, betch. Kyle’s one thing but if you…”

“Matty! You’re already here” I heard Derek’s voice say happily when he crossed the door.

“His name is Hip” I grumbled.

“Actually My name is Matthew, but Der can call me whatever he wants” Hip mocked.

Oh I was going to kill that betch!

“Is everything okay?” Derek asked confused as he started to take his shirt off to grab a brush and Hip’s eyes almost popped out of their sockets when Derek’s bulky sweaty chest and stone-chiseled abs came into view.

“Everything is just perfect!” Hip woofed.

Derek smiled happily and then looked at me with his big bright eyes. “It is done!”

“What?” I asked confused and then snapped back into reality forgetting about that betch Hip for a moment.

“It’s official. It’s ours! It’s ours!”

I smiled full of joy and Derek started jumping like a silly little boy on the Christmas morning and then he hugged me and we looked at our officially brand new photo-studio. He smiled at me and I smiled at Hip very widely while my arms kept Derek away from him.

…….

After the tenth rush of knocking, Jim lost his patience and came out of bed to find out who the hell didn’t let him rest. Even when he wouldn’t admit it, a part of him hoped to find Jack at the other side of the door to apologize for anything, thought he doubted he would forgive him.

Another face that came to his mind, was his beloved’s friend Bev. He still hadn’t hear anything of how his conversation with Mrs. Woods have hurt Bev, though deep inside he hoped it ruined the girl’s day at least a bit. After all, Mrs. Wood only needed to ask Jack and she would know that Jim lied to her, well sort of lied to her.

“James! James! We won!”

“I know, Garret. I saw the pictures” He replied moodily as he opened the door and it pushed in as Aidan stepped inside.

“Hey” Jim protested while Aidan went straight to the kitchen.

“Did you see? They showed you the pictures? I scored the final goal!”

“I know, I know” Replied Jim still a little sleepy.

“Why the long face?” Aidan asked chewing the sandwich he just made.

 “Look who’s talking” Replied Jim.

“Is not my fault the coach is driving me crazy” Aidan complained.

“What did you do now?” Asked Jim fetching a soda for Garret from the fridge.

“I did nothing. It was you who vanished in the final game”

Jim glared at him.

“We have a game, James. We will open the season here” Garret explained excited.

“Great, I wish you guys the best of lucks” He said not really interested.

“Yeah, about that…” Aidan started. “The coach is really pissed off because you’re not picking up your phone”

“I was asleep! It is summer!”

“Yeah, then he sent Jack after you” Aidan teased.

Jim stretched his ear to listen to whatever Aidan would say next.

“He said he didn’t have time to check on you, that you made your choice and blah, blah, blah”

Well, it wasn’t anything Jim didn’t expect. “He is right, I’m out of the team” He said blatantly.

“Why, James? Are you mad because I ruined your suit?”

Jim laughed “Yeah! No! I’m just busy with other stuffs”

“Any stuffs that might have nothing to do with Jack, of course” Aidan chortled.

“Uh? Are you…Are you mad at Jack?” Asked Garret. “I can talk to him, so you can be friends again, our moms are friends and I’m sure...”

Jim was going to kill Aidan.

“No! Really! I just…Got things to do”

Aidan finished his sandwich and snatched the can from Garret’s hand. “Anyway, the coach said that he expects to see your....What was he word he used? Oh yeah your ‘snooty’ little butt at training next week or he would make sure you die on indescribable pain. You know the sends you love and those stuffs”

Jim rolled his eyes. _You got to be kidding me._

“We got to go now, but I would advise you to listen to him. Remember ‘indescribable pain’” Aidan mocked and made signs to Garret to follow him. 

Garret waved goodbye at Jim and left after the other boy.

Jim sighed and threw himself onto the couch. He wished for a day off from being himself.

At least once.

…….

First day on business. Well, not exactly. It was the opening day, which meant that it wasn’t exactly our first day working, neither would we have our first formal client. No, it was the day we would promote our business by drawing attention to us.

How we were going to do that?

Well, it was pretty simple, you just need music, some drinks and people to spread the word. I sent a text to Tim asking his help on promotion. He knew a lot of people in the area after all. So he did some phone calls, and we heard an ad in the radio station that afternoon calling everybody to visit our store.

We still were setting some things up, like finding the perfect place for the furniture Derek got on half the price because a newborn puked on it like five years ago and stuffs like that. That was the good thing about clingy rich people. We got pretty good stuffs and they got the chance to get rid of them.

Cass and Hip –Yeah, you know ‘Matty’- Called on some of their friends in the Gym for a free photo-shoot. Since they all were hot and Derek and I were terrific photographers we got stunning photographs of those oiled bodies. Especially the girl’s pictures looked very attractive.

It was Freddy’s idea of plugging Derek’s laptop to the screen in the entrance so newcomers could see the pictures as they were imported into the hard-drive. So people could feel part of the session. Actually it was such an awesome idea, though of course people liked their privacy so it would have to be a one-time thing.

Of course I wouldn’t be that stupid and get myself too busy on things like the pictures or Kyle –he wasn’t around though- to detach my eye from Derek. Now that Hip have made his intensions official I had to take care of him. Specially because Derek mocked of the whole situation and called me paranoid when I took away and told him what was Hip’s plan.

“Look at you” Said Kristie shocked and I blushed and thought it was a bad idea to let Liam in charge of my apparel.

Well, actually my problem wasn’t the outfit. I felt pretty classy, wearing those olive cotton pants, and on the top I had long sleeve white shirt with a washed-out dark-gray blazer, and I just needed the hat to be mistaken with Sherlock Holmes. I’m kidding, as I said my clothes were awesome, my problem was the eyeliner. I never wore it, I liked the feeling, but it felt like it was drawing everyone’s attention, though Tim affirmed several times that it was almost invisible. I tried to think over and over again what Kyle said in Sunset Valley. People didn’t pay attention. They weren’t looking at me, no one was looking at me. Why would they do that? It wasn’t like…

“Oh my god! You’re Stiles Stilinski. Right?”

Okay, there went my plan. My uneasiness swept me and I felt a little dizzy, however I forced myself on staying calm though those girls shouted my name so high that several people craned their necks to check what was going on.

I nodded. It was a good practice. If I was going to run a business I had to become used to deal with all sort of people, even people who would come exclusively to make fun of me at my work. I wouldn’t let them hurt me.

“Yes, I am” I replied politely.

“I’m Flora and this is Cashmere” Said the brunette. “I’m so happy I stayed to work in town instead of going home. We got to work on something together. Are you working on anything right now?”

I arched a brow confused

“You called us” Cashmere explained arching a brow.

“I…Called you?” I frowned.

“Yes!” Flora nodded. “Last year, cinematography and the acting program had to work on project, remember? You sounded pretty desperate”

“Oh…” I smirked reminding how I met Kyle.

“Oh man! I regret so much lying about being busy, if I could turn back in time”

“We should definitely do something this year” Cashmere hurried to add.

“Oh…Yeah. I guess, I will keep an eye if…”

“I just can’t believe that we rejected you, I’m really sorry, we just thought you were a loser and now I….”

“Anne! Come over. Look who we found here!” Cashmere shouted to some other girl who was coming inside.

Wow! The store was pretty full.

“Hey” Anne nodded toward me and I nodded back to her. Despite Flora and Cashmere I recognized Anne, we were in the scripting course the past months thought we never really talked to each other.

“This is Stiles Stilinski. You know? The guy I told you about?”

“Yeah, we kind of know each other” I said with a shy smirk.

“Oh my god! You know each other? Did you work together? Why you didn’t tell us anything, Anne? That’s not…” And there they were having an arguing over me.

The minutes stretched and I felt really uncomfortable, they weren’t disrespectful or anything, it is just that their group grew and grew and I didn’t’ realize how many people have stayed in town instead of getting back home, but that wasn’t the reason I felt so out of the place, but the fact that such amount of people knew me and I didn’t know them and it was kind of scary you know? Most of the class in the acting program new my name and all those girls were looking at me as if I was dinner.

I slipped away when I found Derek and Cass taking some pictures of the crowd to add it to the website. Yeah, now we would have a website too.

“Wow! You got a fan club” Derek teased and I felt the sting in my chest. Maybe he didn’t do it on purpose but it still hurt.

“Derek, I’m…”

“Why would you sorry? I’m the one who should apologize I don’t…” His face dropped.

We still had things to sort-out between us, like the fact that he felt a bit of jealousy of how people reacted when they knew about my movies, and I couldn’t agree more with him, considering that even when normally he co-directed those movies too, it was me who always got the credit. Though…Since I was so jealous of how his clothes made him look so attractive that night, I guess things were even.

“Have you seen Allison?” He asked casually, thought I could feel just concern in his voice.

I didn’t know how he expected me to know about Allison, when I didn’t even know that he told her about the photo-study, though let’s face it. It was just a matter of time, though deep inside I hoped he wouldn’t say a word to her, about any subject in the world, ever again.

“Um…No” I replied pretending to be casual about it to hide my discomfort on hearing to that bitch’s name.

“She said she would come”

“Relax. I bet she will be here soon” Suddenly said Hip’s voice at my back and I rolled my eyes.

Even when the opening was starting, Hip still worked on the decoration. Well, he was working on some-sort of stand for a couple of friends of him who had a band and yeah by friends I mean that he probably slept with all of them.

They were arranging everything in the back of the store and he was putting some Christmas lights around the mini-stage and asked us to turn-off the lights.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it looked pretty awesome for being so cliché.

They started to play a soft-tempered folk and I knew this wasn’t just him being nice. How many secrets have Derek shared with him? This was a tribute, you could see it why the way the Christmas lights reflected on Derek’s glasses and his eyes. Hip did it to draw his attention.

What made me even madder is that I found myself liking their songs. They had this thing that lulled you and the vocalist had a very beautiful voice that cut you deep when things got serious.

Derek wouldn’t stop bumping me on my shoulder like saying _“Did you listen that song?”_ Of course I did listen! We were at fucking scarce inches from them!

Thank god Allison showed up to give me reasons to hate someone else apart from just Hip or I would have jumped on him right there.

Again she came in with her clearly fake remorse expression that almost made me puke.

I went to the front of the store that was empty now since everyone was drooling over Hip’s secret friends. There I found Kristie with one hand on an ear and looking up at the sky while she talked and paced around the walkway.

When she saw me, she said goodbye and hung-up. “Is everything okay with you?”

“Yeah” I replied kicking a rock with my leather boots. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“You look concerned” She pointed out.

“Maybe you are the one concerned about something” I suggested.

She sucked a breath. “Do you remember me being a nurse and everything?”

I nodded. “Well, I talked to my dad –We’re still sorting things out though he still doesn’t believe my aunt is a bitch- anyway, he made some calls and I’m having a job interview in the best clinic in town”-She looked down.

“Wow! Those are awesome news” I said happy for her.

Her face gloomed. “I know is exciting! But that’s the problem, Stily. I didn’t expect it to be exciting, but turns out that it is more exciting that I hoped, and now I’m concerned that I might blow-up something that I didn’t know I would want so much”

“Hey! Hey! Calm down” I chortled. “Just calm down, okay? You still hadn’t have the interview, so just take it easy, take a breath and relax okay? I’ll tell Derek to give you some advises on the matter, okay? He is good at it, he have had a lot of jobs”

She sighed. “It isn’t a job at a pizzeria Stily, I just…Don’t want to ruin this like I ruin everything else”

Wow! I think this was the first time I saw Kristie so vulnerable.

So…This was the reason why she didn’t even try? She lied to us! She said she studied to don’t stay bored at home, but the truth was that did liked it, and she felt afraid of not being well-prepared.

“You don’t ruin everything” I affirmed.

“Oh yeah? Tell that to my life, my aunt hates me, my dad too, I got kicked out of both of their homes, I have a crappy job, no money no home and everything is wrong with my boyfriend”

I gaped. Well...I guess she was kind of a mess after all.

“Is there something wrong, between the two of you?” I arched a brow. Did she…Did she know about Kyle and Allison?

“I…I don’t know. I called him to tell about the interview and that if I get picked I will have to quit in the pizzeria and he said it was fine, that he had to come back early because he had season-opening or something”

“That’s good, isn’t it?’ I arched a brow confused.

“Yeah, but he was excited, super excited and I can tell that something is wrong. He is like trying to convince me that everything is more than great between us and I can’t buy it”

Now I got her point. “Oh…”

“Did you…Did you both do something?” She asked not daring to look at me.

Alright. Who could get Kristie? Wasn’t hers the idea of me sleeping with Kyle in the first place? Why she looked concerned about it after all? Clearly she didn’t know what the hell she wanted in her life.

I shook my head. “I would never do that to you. I’m your friend’

“You wouldn’t do what?” Derek joked at our backs.

“Um…Nothing” Kristie chuckled and there was her former self again, the one that the whole world knew. “I was just asking Stily if he would do it with me he told me to grow some balls” She teased.

I blushed and Derek almost chocked on laughs. Yeah, yeah, yeah let’s laugh about virgin gay Stily over not doing it with a girl.

“Hey you! You have been very absent lately” Kristie added when she found Allison lacing her hands with Derek and looking at us like an endangered species.

Allison smiled shyly. “Yeah I…I’ve been busy”

“Yeah, you and pretty face. Where is he anyway?”

“He couldn’t make it. He was _‘busy’_ ” I said a bit mad.

“I have to go” Allison suddenly added and Kristie and Derek turned toward her confused.

“Why? It is still early. I can drive you home later” Derek offered.

“I’m sorry! I’m just too tired, don’t worry about me, okay? I’ll be fine” And said so she vanished.

Oh No! Don’t expect me to say that I felt sorry for her, because I didn’t. I’m serious.

Derek and Kristie exchanged puzzled looks as if asking the other if they knew something and I just pretended I was as shocked as them for Allison’s behavior. Well, until Hip showed up to drag Derek inside and I shifted into murder-mode again.

…….

You know that Jim didn’t went to the opening night of my store. Actually it got him by surprise. He didn’t even know that we were back in town, and he even felt tempted to ask about Derek’s dad, but he assumed that if I hadn’t mention anything related when I texted him, there still weren’t any news.

He knew I was going to hang him for not coming and actually he felt a bit tempted about joining us, but he wasn’t completely sure about it. He was very exhausted lately. He spent his mornings doing some study to not get rusty for when school started again and he spent his afternoons with Amanda.

Speaking of Amanda. She was getting better those days. The more time Jim spent with her, the better they both felt, and he had to admit that he missed Jack’s presence there. He couldn’t believe that Jack forgot about Amanda completely. The girl eventually stopped asking about him in the third day, but it still stung Jim to think that Jack would let that his issues with Jim would let him affect his relationship with Amanda. That said a lot about Mr. Perfect butt.

But he had no time to focus on that asshole. As I said, his days were Amanda’s, though he tried to spent time with the rest of the children too. After all they all had to endure Emily’s passing. Of course not as hard as Amanda, but still, everyone needed support, even when they didn’t know they did.

Bedtime stories. How many books he read those days? He lost count. How many candies he managed to smuggle in without Paige noticing? Halloween would be jealous, how many laughs and tickles? Those were the only things in his mind lately.

That Friday he got a mail from his dad’s assistant. It was him who called the list of centers and contacts Evan Taylor had all around the nation, though of course that list shrunk as soon as he let his dad know he wanted to be able to visit Amanda whenever he wanted.

There were three centers in the state and two of them were in town. By the name of them he quickly understood that those were fancy clinics, he just hoped they were as effective as expensive.

He jolted in bed when he heard the knocking on the front door. It was almost midnight, so whoever was out there probably didn’t know the meaning of Friday night.

“I’m coming” He grunted as he approached the entrance.

He looked through the peephole before opening this time. The last he wanted was to scare Martha with his underway and give her a heart-attack. However, it wasn’t Martha.

“What are you doing here?” Jim demanded moodily.

“Oh. You are busy, don’t you?” Replied Jack taking a look at Jim’s brief boxers.

“I was sleeping and I already got the coach’s message, so if you don’t mind I…”

“I didn’t came because of the coach” Jack grumbled. “I came to know if it is true”

“What?” Asked Jim pretending to be bored by his presence and not thinking in his heart-beat.

“You’re taking Amanda away”

“I can’t believe Paige called you to tell you that!”

“She didn’t call me! I went to check on her and who knows? Maybe if I would have gone later she wouldn’t be there anymore”

“Exactly” Spat Jim. “If you could have waited three more decades in showing up, you will right in time to see the girl who needed you getting married!”

“I…” Jack stopped short and squinted at Jim. He was furious, Jim could see he wanted to find the perfect comeback, but he was speechless. “I…I didn’t know how to deal with it”

“Yeah. Thank God Amanda is very mature to deal with it by her own”

Jack’s gap grew even more.

“I’m…I’m sorry okay? I screwed up, but you can’t take her away”

Jim couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “I’m not taking her away. I’m taking her to a better place where she can rest and have the medical attention she deserves. I don’t know if you notice, but the center is falling apart”

Jack’s remorse turned into rage.

“No! You want to take her away because you are mad at me and you want to hurt me!”

Jim chuckled. “Ok. First of all. It is still just an idea to help her. Second. It is you who is mad at me and isn’t talking to me, so in any case it should be me who goes to your home to beg for your…”

“I’m not begging your understanding!”

“Attention” Jim continued and Jack expression got into outraged level.

“Third, you have no saying on her future. That is up to Paige and she agrees with me”

Jack squinted. “She needs to be with her friends! In the place she calls home with the people she calls family! You can’t take that from her!”

“I’m trying to do the best for her!” Jim shouted wanting to kick him out of there.

“Yeah?  Then what about the others? She can go to a better place and what about them?”

Jim froze.

_Holy…_ How could he forgot about the rest of the kids? Especially when he saw them daily, when he played with them, and yet…It didn’t cross his mind not even once the fact that they couldn’t stay in that place either. He was so focused on Amanda that he neglected them completely. It wasn’t fair.

“I…Didn’t…” He started not sure of what to say.

“You can’t make choices by yourself! You’re not her dad!”

“You aren’t either” Jim shot back.

“We’ll see about that” Jack snapped and took the handle of the door “And one last thing, I don’t care what’s the coach’s business with you, but you are out of the team”

He shut the door loudly.

 Jim cursed on his insides and typed the address of the centers to Paige’s phone.

He didn’t know what meant that _“We will see about that”_ But Jack was seriously wrong if he thought he would keep Amanda locked in the center.

Jim needed to think about what to do with her, and the rest of the kids, but first he needed to get back in the team just to piss him off.

.......

You know? I should write a book called _“How to start your own business and succeed in three days”_ Because, we definitely came into the market like a storm. Well, maybe I’m exaggerating a little, I mean we weren’t taking pictures for Coca-Cola or anything, but… Or better said Butt. Yeah! On our first day, a woman came in very interested on pictures for her underwear line. She was a completely unknown designer, the underwear wasn’t exactly pretty, but hey! It was our first client! And hey! She paid us pretty well! So…It was a successful first day, and while I took the pictures Derek managed our online presence in the social media. You got to see the amount of comments about the opening of our studio in its official fan-site. It was thrilling.

After the underwear client and making good money with those pictures, we were called by the owner of the vintage ice-cream shop just a couple of streets away from us. He wanted to dress the walls of the store with new vibrant pictures of cones and such. Since it was summer people tended to look for those kind of places to chill in the hot afternoons and we felt honored to be part of the project.

Three days after we shoot those pictures, they were already fastening the new wallpaper on the walls. We saw it when we went to have a cone there at lunch-time.

Those days Allison used to come daily to the store, though just to say hello and hang out a bit with Derek. She didn’t stay long. She had work to do and also she knew I couldn’t stand her presence near us anymore. In the afternoons Kristie came by to ask Derek help for her work interview in the clinic.

It was a bit challenging for Derek because he never worked for a company related on any way to health-care. However you know how he is, he isn’t just smart but also stubborn, and he didn’t rest until he wrote the perfect set of questions and answer that he thought Kristie would face in her interview.

That Friday she went early to the store so we could check our outfit. Kristie had always been very confident regarding her look and how she wouldn’t? I mean. She was so beautiful, but that day I understood that if she felt uneasy about her look sometimes, then everyone had to at least once in their lives. It was relieving though it made me feel concerned because I didn’t want her to ruin her chance by being nervous.

She looked very professional in that suit she got, and the red lipstick made her look like she was ten years older, not in a bad way, she still looked gorgeous and young, it is just that…It felt like we were talking to a grown up woman instead of the quirky girl that always got in trouble.

Even Allison said it when she got inside right before Kristie left, and considering that Allison had been doing her best to avoid any kind of contact with her friend those days, it meant that Kristie would definitely make a good impression. I just hoped she could manage to answer all the questions they might ask her and don’t get lost trying to remember all the material Derek made her study the past two days. You know, once he gets in nerdy mode there is no way to stop him.

“Thank you, guys” Kristie said thrilled as she hurried to force Allison, Derek and me into a hug.

Feeling a bit uneasy I wished her the best of lucks and crossed my fingers the whole day hoping that things would turn-out just fine for her.

Derek told me to go with her to offer her support since Kyle was gone, but I shook my head. That afternoon would come back a guy who wanted a photo-shoot of his wife and kids, and that was the third time he came in two days. He always left pretty satisfied with the pictures he saw in the previews, but he didn’t even let us to retouch them when he was already asking us to book a new session, because he didn’t like how the kids were dressing or the position of his wife’s neck, or how the background didn’t blend well. He was paying us well, but he was driving us crazy and I didn’t want Derek to deal with him alone.

The freak left early that afternoon, thought by the look in his face I could easily tell he would knocking on our door the next morning. Thank god I didn’t give him our personal numbers.

“No news from Kristie?” Derek asked in the short period of time that we got to rest before sunset.

I shook my head. “She should be back already” He said looking up.

I could see that was starting to ponder the possibilities for her silence, which if you think about it couldn’t be that good considering how noisy she was about almost every little thing that happened in her life.

“You think she is okay?” I looked down.

“Maybe…Maybe she is with Allison, celebrating and they forgot to tell us about” Derek wondered. “I should ask Allison”

Seriously? That was his conclusion? And I thought he was the smartest person I knew. I didn’t understand how was that he still didn’t get that Allison was avoiding Kristie and that she was hiding something. Could he be any more clueless?

“Maybe she got the job and went straight to celebrate and got drunk” I joked.

Derek arched a brow as if asking me if I really believed my theory, but considering how much fucked things were secretly my idea made more sense than his.

The bell at the door rang and we found Kristie walking in with an exhausted look on her face.

“Oh…Hey! How…” We were afraid of asking you got to see our faces.

Derek looked at me begging for help but I was already making the same face to him which was hilarious. Well, at least for Kristie it was.

“I just got out of there. Can you believe it?” She complained.

“Really? Wow!” I said shocked considering how much time she spent there.

“Yeah, there was a lot of emergencies going on and the head-nurse didn’t have time for us, at least I could look around and meet the place. My feet are killing me” Continued as she took off her heels and left them on the counter.

“So? Did you get the job?” I finally asked not caring if I was being too harsh.

“I don’t know. They said they would call me in a week or two if I got the job” She said mimicking an annoying voice.

Well, now she couldn’t do anything else but wait.

Derek got out of the counter and peeked through the glass to the setting sun. “I don’t think anyone else will come, would you guys want a beer?”

I found the offering weird because Derek hadn’t have a drop of alcohol since what happened with his dad which felt as if it have been ages ago, but I guess he wanted to appease Kristie who would have a very long week awaiting for an answer from the clinic.

“Alright, but just one beer. Kyle is coming back and I have clean the mess I made out of his apartment”

I giggled and followed them to our room to chill a bit. That was the hottest night ever. I was sweating so much that I was tempted to bath into the beer instead of drinking, Kristie seemed to feel the same way, because she didn’t hesitate to take her blaze out and stay on her unbuttoned down shirt as she grabbed her beer and sat on my bed to play some cards while Derek frowned at the numbers of the store.

“Oh come on you grumpy ass! This was your idea!” I shouted looking at the grimace on his face and how funny he looked when he stared at the screen for so long.

He arched a brow and threw a pillow to me. “I’m trying to not sink our business”

“It’s been just a week and a half since we opened! I we have been doing just fine!” I reminded him.

“I know, I just want to make sure that it is reflecting on the numbers” He chuckled with a bit of frustration on his voice.

“Alright, alright, don’t complain when Kristie don’t let any more booze left”

“Hey!” She complained and bumped me in the arm.

“Go fishing” I replied making a rude sign to her which she replied with a more obscene one.

“So…” Kristie start casually one hour later. “Do you know anything about Pretty-face and my cuz?”

I arched a brow. “What? Apart that they won the championship?” I replied pretending to not pay attention.

“She’s talking about sex” Derek interrupted.

“Exactly!” She nodded toward him who now was joining us with a sweaty face and exhausted eyes.

“No! Why do you think I…?”

“Oh come on! Everyone knows that something is going on between those too” Kristie squinted.

“Really? Didn’t Jack have a girlfriend?” I said innocently.

“Yeah, and you and Allison were a couple” She snapped.

Oh…Right.

“Well I know…Nothing, really I don’t think your cousin could…”

“That’s the thing, Stily. I’m not so sure about him lately”

Yeah, well welcome to my life. The only thing I was certain about, is that I needed to keep working if I wanted to continue studying.

The alarm clock made me curse pretty early that morning. Well, not that early, it was the first time the alarm blared, how did I know that? Well, because the sun was fully up and Derek was gone. He probably tried to wake me up but I wouldn’t answer so he left to pen the studio and don’t lose the millions we would lose for opening two hours later.

I tossed in bed twenty more minutes before finally giving up to my guilty thoughts that draw me to a sad face Derek thinking about me as the worst partner-best-friend ever.

With gritted teeth I gave myself a bath, took a pill for the throbbing head and dressed up for work. I passed by the bakery store to grab some caramel apple bars as a peace offering for the grumpy teddy bear.

“Morning!” I said happily hoping that it would make things better for me…However.

He was already glaring at me.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry” I said sucking a breath. “You could have awakened me” Added not as smoothly as I expected.

“I tried” He said moodily. “You woke up and said _‘No Kyle, you can’t have it, it’s mine’_ and then you fell asleep again”

I did what? Crap! Clearly I was a problem with drinking.

“Did…Kristie…?”

“No, she was gone already” He snapped.

_Thank god._ “Derek, I’m…I’m sorry. I promise I’ll be more careful, either way it is not that late”

“Look, it doesn’t matter” He said pretending to not give it any importance, but of course he wasn’t that good on it. “I need you to do something”

“What?”

“I need you to take care of Susie and the studio”

“Susie?” I frowned.

“Yeah, she is the back checking on the cameras, please don’t let her break them” He took a deep breath as if gathering patience.

“Okay” I nodded confused. “But…What is she doing here? I thought she was on summer camp”

“It’s already over” He explained looking away and getting the keys of the car.

“But that’s impossible!” I chortled. “She would be there for two…Oh...”

It had been two weeks already!

“Derek…Your dad…”

“I’m my way. I want Susie to stay here, just in case. The doctor said that he might have some memory loss, confusion, part of his body might not respond properly, like a lottery ticket. I don’t want her to see him like that” He blinked twice. “I want to see him first and think what I’m going to tell her after that”

He was gone. The boy from the past days. Maybe he wasn’t actually there after all. Maybe he was just a mask that Derek wore those two weeks to convince me and himself that he could went through it. I must say he was damn good actor, because he convinced me that he was fine and he barely thought about it, but it was quite the opposite, he planned all this from the beginning.

“He will be okay” Was all that I managed to say.

I wanted to be there. Derek’s father was like a second dad to me, and I loved Derek so much it hurt me to think about not being there to hold his hand when his dad woke up, but I had to listen to him and take care of Susie while he was gone, and even when it didn’t feel right I was going to do it for him.

“Aunt Lily is coming to pick her up later this afternoon. I will probably be back by then, but just in case I don’t make it here on time. Also make sure she eats everything and give her healthy food, Stiles, no candies and soda”

“Relax, okay? It isn’t the first time I take care of Susie” I rolled my eyes.

He sighed. “Yeah, sorry I just…”

I sunk my face on his chest. “Tell your dad I’ll see him tomorrow, okay?”

Derek nodded and then smiled at me with bright eyes. I undusted his shoulders a bit and let go knowing that everything would be fine.

When the door closed after Derek I went to the back of the tent.

“Susie. What the hell?” That was all I managed to say after I saw the place.

Susie’s eyes almost popped out of their sockets and she giggled uneasy.

Okay I won’t describe how messy everything was because I would start crying again. Let’s just say that I had a very boring day rebuilding the photo-studio that it took us three full days to accomplish, luckily there weren’t any new customers through that period or else I wouldn’t have been able to help them and even worse I might have ended up with a lot of trouble.

“Hello?” I heard a voice said from the front.

Crap! I still needed to clean the paint from the floor.

“Hello?”

“Just a sec!” I said loudly hoping the customer would listen. I tried to find something to cover it while Susie looked at me from the couch and I shook my head in disapproval when I heard the footsteps.

I turned on my heels and found Kyle standing right behind me

Oh and…He cut his hair and I will say that he looked like just-made pizza the day you start a diet.

“It was true, then” He muttered looking around with wide-eyes. “Did you really did all this in short time or did you have this planned?”

I stared at him. Maybe I was still drunk, but Kyle seemed a bit taller, his body tenser and his face was like the sun, annoyingly bright.

“Stily?”

Crap! “Um…Yeah, Well, not everything is settled, we still have a lot of things to do with the lawyer, but we can work while we-well, Derek sort them out:”

He paced around and then stopped. “Oh, speaking of…Is his dad okay?”

After hearing that my eyes went straight to Susie. I almost forgot about her. It was hard to get used to her presence and calmness, they simply weren’t compatible.

“Yeah, yeah. He is great” I said trying to sound convincing.

“No. My dad is sick. Mrs. Johnson said it”

_Thanks. Mrs. Gossip._  

“Susie…Um… He is…” Damn it.

Kyle seemed to understand my dilemma, because he bend before the coach and extended his hand to Susie. “Hey. I’m Kyle, you’re Derek’s sister?”

She nodded. “I’m Susan” She shook his hand. “For having big arms you shake hands like a girl”

Oh…Oh she didn’t…Yes she said it!

Kyle’s eyes flickered. “Yeah, well for being a girl you shake hands like a girl” He shot back.

“I can take you down” She challenged him.

“Susie”

“What?” She complained. “It’s true! I can take him down”

Kyle threw me a funny look.

“Perfect. Do you play hockey? I was coming to invite Stily and your brother to play, but I’m sure you will lose as good at them”

“Hockey?” I arched a brow. “When was the last time you checked the forecast?”

He rolled his eyes. “Do you remember the ice-rink?”

“Ice-rink?”

“Stily, I invited you once and you said no. The thing is that I have a friend there and he let me a key a smuggle in for free”

“Why…Why would you need a key when you can simply go there”

He chugged. “It’s summer, people is hiding in there, a lot of people, like half of the city is there inside, it is impossible to get in on the common way and enjoy”

“So….”

“So…We will wait until they close, and we will get inside from the back door”

Ok that was a good and bad idea at the same time.

“What if they have a security guard?”

He chuckled. “Actually they do, he is the friend who got me the key. He is going out with his girl today but don’t want to leave the place alone, so…We basically would be making a favor him”

“A favor. Right” I replied squinting at him.

“Stiles, please, say yes!” Susie made puppy eyes. She made Derek’s puppy eyes. That wasn’t fair! That was against the rules!

Ok Derek probably was going to kill me if we didn’t get back to the dorm at time, but I wanted to keep Susie busy and well away from the store as possible.

“Okay, let’s go”

“Wow! Wait!” Kyle stopped me.

“What’s the matter?”

“We must wait until it is closed. Remember?” Kyle giggled.

“But it won’t be until late night, right?” I said disappointed

“No, they are closing in half and hour because the rink needs some cleaning. It will be ready in an hour or two.

I checked my watch. We got time.

“You should, change I was there earlier and it’s freezing cold in there”

I closed the store and hoped none of our customers would send any mails asking why the store was closed and went to the dorm.

Since Susie had been in a summer camp, she didn’t have any winter clothes, which meant that I would need to improvise to get her warm. I rummaged through my stuffs and Derek’s and even had to use duck-tape to keep things on their places. Also, Susie asked me to use some cushions inside her sweater and over her shoulder to look more intimidating in front of Kyle.

When I was done I stepped back and looked at the monster I made. It was like a mix between Optimus-prime, a football player a cowboy. When she looked at herself in the mirror she almost shrilled in excitement, though instead, she made a guttural-noise like some kind of baby-monster.

Kyle came with skates for Susie, Derek and me so he looked very confused when he didn’t find Derek in the dorm either. On our way to the ice-rink, I explained Kyle why Susie was under my care and where Derek was. He chuckled and told me that he talked to his because he thought it would cheer Derek since I told him Derek loved ice-skating and I said, what? I didn’t remember telling him that, but wow Kyle seemed to pay attention every word I said, that was…Weird.

As promised, the ice-rink was empty and the children quickly looked at each-other as life-time rivals while I sat in the eating area to watch them skate.

Susie was pretty good at it. Of course she was. She was Derek’s sister after all, and for my surprise Kyle moved with an eerie grace onto the ice. Actually I found myself staring at his legs moving so graciously all around while that knucklehead humiliated Susie pacing the puck all around her.

“Grow up!” I suddenly yelled loudly and Kyle jerked toward me taken by surprise what not only made him lose his balance, but also gave Susie the chance to snatch the puck and score.

“Crushed!” She cheered.

“That’s cheating, Stily helped you” Kyle pretended to complain and I chocked a laugh. I…Didn’t know this side of him. If I wasn’t mistaken I heard once that he had a little brother but I didn’t know he could turn into an eight-year old boy whenever he wanted.

That had to be one of the perks of being an actor, or maybe a good brother.

“Come over” Kyle invited me, after their third game.

I stood “I don’t think so, it’s getting late!”

“Come on! Today is Kristie’s last day in the pizzeria. When I’m back I won’t have time to do this again”

“Don’t be melodramatic” I giggled.

“How many time we got left?”

“Just a sec” I took off my gloves to check my wrist and my guts squirmed and the heart sunk. “Um…Like twenty minutes”

“Great” Said Kyle excited. “Let’s…”

“Like twenty minutes ago”

Derek was going to kill me. If his aunt Lily grew tired of waiting outside our dorm and called him I was officially a dead man.

“I can’t believe you convinced me to do this” I grumbled as Kyle closed the door and I carried Susie while we ran back to Oakwood.

I didn’t find any cars that didn’t were in the parking lot earlier when we left, which had to be a good sign.

I made a final jog to the door and kicked it open. Great! He wasn’t there yet.

“See? Nothing happened” Kyle laughed putting the skates I didn’t use on table along with the ice-rink keys.

“It’s not fun” I chugged.

“Here you are!”

“Wha…What are you talking about? We’ve been here all the time” I stuttered when to face Derek.

“No. I was here ten minutes ago and you weren’t here” He grunted.

“Are you sure? Because I…”

“Stiles, what the fuck? I asked you to take care of Susie and the store for a couple of hours and I Just come from there, what was all the paint in the floor? And you aunt Lily waited for you half an hour and now she’s calling the cops because she think Susie has been kidnapped and Susie…”

He pointed at his little sister and craned his neck as if trying to face her face into the uniform I did for her.

He stopped short. “Look, just pack her stuffs okay? I’ll get her into Aunt Lily’s”

“Kyle and I played hockey Derek” Said Susie happily clearly not noticing that Derek was just seconds away from chopping my face off.

Derek snapped and then turned toward Kyle and noticed his presence for the first time since he arrived. “Oh…You’re back” He said openmouthed. “That’s explains everything”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I demanded.

“It’s okay Stiles” Kyle rose his hand making me signs to chill a bit.

He turned toward Derek and tried to look comprehensive. “Look man, I know what you’re going throw and if you need…”

Derek frowned “Can you please fuck off?”

Kyle snapped, he looked like he was tempted to kick Derek’s butt right there, but then he looked down at Susie and thought better. “Fine” He replied sharply. “I’ll see you later, Stily”

Said so he left. Derek finished shoving Susie’s stuffs into the suitcase and closed it while I turned her back into herself.

Before I even had the chance to put her on her shoes Derek pulled of her arm and dragged her out while she told him to calm down.

It took less than a second to go to the parking lot with his sister and come back.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” I roared when he closed the door behind him.

“What the hell is wrong with me? I told you to take care of store, and now it looks like a crime scene. I told you to take care of my sister and she you introduce her Kyle!”

“What’s wrong with Kyle? He didn’t do anything! He just took us to the ice-rink”

“You know I don’t like Kyle, and you leave Susie on his charge and you saw her? She looked like a boy! You know that I would like her to be more feminine and now…”

“Now what? I didn’t leave her with him and even if I had, nothing would have gone wrong, Kyle was very good with her and they a lot of fun, and…”

“I just don’t want her near him, he…”

“He what?”

“I think he’s gay” Derek snarled and oih my…

“Sorry, I didn’t mean….”

“You meant it” I said still unable to believe what I heard.

“No, of course not! Because if it was true I wouldn’t let her on your charge. It just that Kyle…You know her Stiles! She doesn’t like dolls, she likes monster trucks and bikes! It isn’t…”

“Normal? You hear what you’re saying? Those are toys Derek, when a kid picks a Barbie or soccer ball they don’t see a boy or a girl toy they see a fucking piece of painted PLASTIC, I can’t believe you’re seriously saying…”

“No! That’s not what I’m saying” I could see frustration in his eyes, whatever he wanted to communicate, he was doing a terrible job at it.

 “You’re saying it Derek. You’re saying that you’re scared that your little sister might become a lesbian one day, but guess what caveman? People don’t turn into gay! They are born that way!”

His eyes flared with what? Fear? Regret? Anger? I couldn’t tell, it wasn’t until his lips started wobbling that my fury dispersed and I recalled where he have been.

“Derek…” I whispered fearful. “Derek your dad…Is he?”

“He didn’t wake up” He stuttered and sat on his face.

He finally exploded. All his hopes were on that day. We would be waiting for a conclusion, a clear response for either his dad would recover or not. Now we were on middle ground. I didn’t need Derek to explain me to know what it mean.

What happened from now one was up to his dad. It was him who needed to find his way back and there was nothing we could do to bring him back.  Now I understood Derek’s eyes, he thought it would have been better to just hear that his dad died than wait who knows for how long.

“The doctor said, it might be an hour, a day, a year, a life”

I threw myself next to him and we stared at the ceiling in silence.

“I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I really didn’t mean it” He said hoarsely after one hour.

_I only said it because I want to scream._ I could swear I heard him say that in my mind.

“It’s okay” I said flatly.

“I mean. I have nothing against, Kyle”  

Oh… “It’s okay, you don’t have to like him”

“So…You guys went ice-skating?” He arched a brow.

I smiled. “Yes. Actually he got the keys to get us in to cheer you up”

“You told him I like ice-skating?” He chuckled.

“I guess you and your weird stuffs are verbal vomit for me” I joked.

He laughed. I laughed too and we kept our eyes in the ceiling.

“Your mom?”

“She saw it coming” He said impassively. “She didn’t even flinch when the doctor said that maybe it would take him longer to wake up”

_She is sinking._ I thought with sadness.

“She will be find. Your mom won’t let her side”

I wasn’t sure if those were good or bad news.

“I guess now I must call, Kyle and apologize” Added with a grimace.

I sat a bit calmer and found the skates on the floor and table. With the burst of sudden anger Kyle forgot the skates and the keys.

“Wanna go skating?” I asked with a devilishly grin.

“Now?” Derek looked at me shocked. “Wouldn’t we get in trouble?”

“Oh come on! What’s the worst thing that can happen?”

It was asking him sing his favorite song. “We could get caught, we could break a bone, we could freeze to death, we could lose the keys and get trapped inside which mean that we will eventually we caught after we froze to death”

“Take it easy, Hermione” I teased and grabbed the keys and skates with one hand while I pulled of Derek’s hand out of the room and we dashed into the dark hallways of the empty dorms, making as much noise as we wanted, there was no one around to tell us to shut up and if they were, I didn’t care.

For when we were near the ice-rink there wasn’t need for me to pull of Derek because now he was coming willing me with me, though let’s face it, if he really would opposed resistance my chicken arms wouldn’t stand a chance.

I took the keys and slid it into the hole, took the handle and slowly pushed the door open. I couldn’t believe I was breaking into private property twice in the same day. The rush of adrenaline made me forget about how cold was the air and put on my skates.

“Are you ready?” I asked as I finished to put the left skate when a cold breeze swept me.

“Are you?” He joked as he passed around the rink.

My eyes turned a bit watery, as I saw him skate around at high speed. Running away from whatever was haunting him. Derek had many flaws, like his stubbornness, or that he didn’t know how to lose, and that after everything we have come trough he still felt a bit jealous of me, and he even tended to think that I was responsible of any mess he might run into –He was mostly right-, but there was something no one would ever tell about Derek, and that thing was weak.

There he was, living and fighting even when his dad was in a hospital bed with no hopes of waking up anytime soon, with his mom sinking slowly into madness because of fear, with school at the turn of the corner, with a just-opened own business and all the stuffs he didn’t know.

He just stood and continued working.

“Are you coming or not?” He shouted.

And yeah. He still had time and spark to tease me.

That was Derek, a spark, to burst the world around him to live, because let’s face. I don’t know where or who I would be if it wasn’t because of him.

I stood and slid in.

As soon as the cold breeze surround me I felt free. Now I regretted not joining Susie and Kyle that afternoon. It was so comforting, you could easily tell by the peaceful look on Derek’s face and the way I made shorter and faster circles around the rink. It had been ages since the last time I ice-staked, but turned out that I was still got at it. Not graceful, but clumsy neither. It was something where you didn’t have to be perfect at, you just had to enjoy the way it was.

“You’re very quiet” Derek asked as I slowed my pace to look at the mini lights of the ceiling arranged like stars, in the darkness it almost felt like…Like being out on a frozen lake below a moonless sky.

“Can we move here?” I joked.

“That could be a good idea” He followed my lead. “We wouldn’t need a fridge”

“And there is a kitchen in the other room, we could live of fries”

“And we could put skates in the bed legs and we would be skating even when sleeping”

“Sounds like a good plan” I laughed as I threw my arms up and closed my eyes while I slid backwards.

“So…” He started casually.

“So what?” I replied still picturing our things in the sea of ice, guarded by the stars of the moonless sky.

“Did Kyle and you do it?”

I stopped short and snorted. “What? Are you insane? I told you I wasn’t going to do it, remember?”

“Yeah, but I heard Kristie asking you the other day and you never listen to me, so I assumed that you did it after all”

“Derek, Kyle was back on his parent’s farm that I have no idea where in the hell is”

“Well I don’t know, I just thought you did it at Sunset or...” He frowned. “Kristie looked pretty concerned”

“Because she’s crazy, she asks me to sleep with her boyfriend and then she grows paranoid about the fact that we probably did after all”

Derek cracked in laughs and fixed his eyes on me. “ _’Stily’_ , come here” He shouted with caveman mannerisms and a voice tune very far away from Kyle’s. “Give me that dick, _‘Stily’_ ”

“Shut up!” I laughed and he sprinted after me and I shouted him to fuck off but he came even faster.

I slid away from him as fast as I could as I heard his insane laughs filling the air and I laughed harder and did my best to stay away.

“ _Stily’_ , make a movie about my butt:”

“Shut up!” I kept saying between chuckles.

“Come on! _‘Stily’_ it will be only the tip!” He added and Oh my god! I almost pissed myself for laughing so much, I couldn’t even dare to look back any more, if I did I would probably fall.

“Gotcha” I heard him whisper in my ear and then the warmness of his body warned me about his presence. He closed his hand around my crotch and I jolted and tripped and crashed rolling one, twice, thrice on the floor followed for who landed on top of me and we laughed and laughed until were chocking.

“You’re an asshole!” I said between gasps and we locked our eyes and…

No…No…No, not now. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse this time. I just lost myself and I'm finally starting to find the pieces of who I used to be. 
> 
> Here is this chapter's song to apease you a bit. Till next time. 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pak0LEhFyAY


	8. BREAKING POINT

# BREAKING POINT

I almost kissed Derek!

What the hell was wrong with me?

No…No…No. It couldn’t be happening. What? Why? I was supposed to be over him from a lot of years in the past. I didn’t look at him that way anymore and I couldn’t, Derek…He was my best friend, just that and still…

I jerked up and parted my lips with my heartbeat in the ears and the eyes fixed on his. Thank God something inside me pulled back and made me recall who we were and what we were doing.

I still brushed the corner of his lips with mine but managed to make it look at an accident product of a slippery elbow over the ice. However…There was one thing I couldn’t just pretend or hide that easily. Luckily I managed to keep it covered with the skates on the way back home until we were back in the dorm and I hurried to get into the bathroom and change.

He didn’t notice.

I was saved.

Getting rid of my underwear was the worst. I mean…I felt like a freak and actually that’s what I was, having boners and orgasms over the only guy in the world I shouldn’t fall for.

“Are you okay?” His voice made me snap and then I realized I wasn’t in the ice-rink feeling deeply scared and funny at the same time. No, I was in the study and it was Monday already just days away from new school-year.

Thank god for the studio and Derek. I managed to pay my fees and also got a new laptop. Buying things is always good to clear my mind and make me forget about things that are bugging me. Of course this time…It wasn’t working that way, because it had been almost ten minutes since Derek asked if I was okay and I didn’t reply and now he was snapping his fingers in front of me.

“I’m fine” I lied poorly.

Derek arched a brow. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing…I’m just sleepy. Stayed up until late night setting up the laptop”

Oh half-trues. I missed you guys.

“Oh right” He smiled though he didn’t look pretty convinced of my answer though it wasn’t completely false.

Derek fell asleep shortly after I finished installing all the software on the computer, and as soon as I heard him snoring I checked that all my data in the hard drive was working after all, and that data included videos and pictures.

Twenty-one years of pictures of two boys. As I saw the pictures my eyes-went watery, not because I longed for those years or because I was sad about Derek being my straight best friend. No, it was something even worse than all of it. I wanted to cry as stared at the pictures, because I was looking for something.

Looking for hints.

Something to hold on to, any kind of clue that Derek might…No. I couldn’t even think about it. It was so stupid. I couldn’t believe I was really doing that to me again, but it was weird. I wanted to scream and tear my hair apart but that weird hot and jittery feeling on my tummy was harder than anything and I wanted to chuckle and close my eyes and sing…It was, so awfully wonderful.

How can something so beautiful feel so wrong at the same time?

“Stiles come on! What’s going on with you?” He said again and I looked up to find him looking at me with a funny look.

I swallowed and smiled that stupid kind of smile you can’t hide because your damn cheeks are pulling up on their own will.

“You…You’re hiding something”

I blushed. Crap.

“Ummm… No” I blurted out and took control of my face. “What could I be hiding?”

He frowned. “I don’t know, but…You’re definitely hiding something from me”

The funny thing about that statement was that was he was completely right. I was hiding things from him. Lots of things.

“So…”

“So…?”

“What are you hiding?”

“I’m not hiding anything, Derek. What could I been hiding that you don’t know? We have spent the past days together” You wanna lie like a pro? Twitch the secret you are trying to hide into the lie you are planning to tell. “What? That I’m secretly in love with you or anything?”

He laughed like it was the stupidest thing he ever heard and I laughed too while inside I felt how my heart shrunk in pain.

Of course it was just a joke for him.

What the hell was I thinking? Seriously. I couldn’t had feelings for him and even if those were feelings of course it had to be very far from love. I was just confused because we had been spending a lot of time together and since I felt a bit responsible for his dad and had been overprotective with him all those days, maybe…Maybe everything mixed up until became a mess.

As usual.

“Look at the time. We should go home already”

“I can’t. If I go out early my boss gonna kick my ass” I joked to normalize the situation and the soup of boiling nerves I got inside of me.

He rolled his eyes. “Let’s go home, I’ll cook something and then we can watch a movie”

Actually it sounded like a good plan. I nodded while I watched Derek pick up my bag to put it on his shoulder like he used, and again that stupid tug made me feel like falling into a void.

“Let’s go” He beckoned me and I followed him as he closed the door.

I’d been lying to myself. It was easier, it was painless. Allison and Hip were right. They saw something. Something I tried to ignore for so long. I didn’t tell Allison to fuck off because she cheated on Derek, I did it because I wanted her out of our way, the same with Hip. I wasn’t protecting Derek from Hip’s game or whatever. I was jealous, that’s why I had a nerve crisis when I heard Allison’s plans about moving out with him, or the reason why I wanted to spend so many time with him in Sunset Valley and went straight to sink my face on his chest when we heard that Liam was okay in the pier. And of course it was the reason I almost died when I got home from Sunset Valley to realize he never made it there. That was it. All that time I had been hiding the truth from myself.

I was in love with Derek. I couldn’t keep denying it.

I had to do something quickly, before my stupid feelings made me lose my best friend again and this time for good.

I had to get a boyfriend.

 …….

Alright. As you can see my life was a mess. So, let’s see what did Jim that Monday shall we?

He had very productive days. Studying in the mornings, taking breaks to visit Amanda, and then go back to study some more. Yeah. School was still a couple of days away, but Jim definitely wanted to stay sharp-minded for what was about to come.

His idea about the Smart-home had been growing in the past nights. Actually it didn’t let him sleep which was surprisingly good, because if it wasn’t it, it would be Amanda, or Emily or even Sam. It was hard to stop thinking about them the whole day.

The look on his dad’s face the other day kept him puzzled. Did he really call his attention? He was intrigued by it, how far he could go? Well, that would depend of his creativity and his skills.

That’s why he had been working on his project a bit more those days. He wanted to know what he was capable of.

However. He had to put his study and planning aside that day, because that morning, was the morning he had been waiting the whole week.

That day, Jim and Paige would visit the new center Jim wanted to intern Amanda in. He was very anxious about it because Paige still didn’t want to bring Amanda there and actually was only going to please Jim. So he had to be smart in order to make her change her mind.

He prepared sandwiches for both of them and put many slices of fruits in a lunch box. Also he spent a couple of hours in his wardrobe picking the best outfit he could find to make him look like an church boy which included generous gel and a comb to draw a straight line on his hair.  For when he was done. He looked like the scary kids you see on country-clubs commercials. So he was ready to dance with Paige.

Martha gave him a weird look when he found her in the ground floor bringing him some groceries.  He winked at her and went to his car. He drove in silence, while in his mind he tried to recall all the perks of the new center that could be good and influence Amanda in a very positive way. Actually Jim, was very impressed. He had been reading a bit about this place and he found out that their death rate was very low. He had to get Amanda there and if possible the rest of the kids too. 

He felt very positive about that day. However, as soon as he stopped the car, he realized that nothing would be as he planned.

First of all. Paige told him that Amanda wouldn’t join them in their trip just yet because she wanted to check the place before making up her mind or scaring the child. Nonetheless, Amanda was standing right at the door of the center wearing a beautiful thought a bit worn pale blue dress that made her look like a porcelain doll and by the look on her face to feel uncomfortable with herself. Oh and she was holding Sam’s hand. Yup, that Sam.

When Jim stopped the car Paige showed up and hurried Amanda to address the car.

“James! Is it true we are going on a trip?” Amanda asked excitedly.

Jim didn’t reply right away and instead craned his neck toward Paige who nodded to him as she climbed in the passenger seat and passed the lunch box to Amanda.

“Yeah. We’re having a lot of fun today” Jim smiled to her through the rearview mirror and spotted Jack climbing next to Amanda, in the back seat.

“What’s this?” Paige arched a brow as she pointed at Jim’s outfit with her finger.

Jim gripped the steering wheel and started the car. “Nothing, I just…”

“Is it some kind of trick?” She whispered for him.

“I just wanted to look nice” Jim cut her and Jack choked a laugh.

He started their way ignoring Sam’s intervention.

“You look good, like Sam” Amanda pointed out.

Jim didn’t say anything, but he laughed in his insides as he pictured Sam’s frown in the back.

“So…” He started as he took the avenue. “I wanted Amanda to come, but you told me she couldn’t come because she was very busy, today”

“It was, Jacksons’ idea actually. He convinced me to let her go out once in a while and this trip might help”

Jim held his breath processing the words he just heard.

“Yes. I just wanted her to meet the doctors first”

“Doctors?” Fear leaped through Amanda’s voice. Even though she lived in the center and was used to medical attention. She still was a little girl. A little girl who recently lost her best friend due a disease, a disease that she had too, and if you looked at it from her point of view, probably the idea of bringing her to other doctors meant that something wasn’t good with her and everything had been a trap.

A trap set by Sam.

Paige’s eyes shot open and Jim quickly could hear a whining in the back seat that confirmed that Sam’s plan of using Amanda’s fear against him was working.

Amanda quickly started to choke with tears as she asked them to bring her back home.

Jim didn’t say a word. He was still speechless before Sam’s ill-intentioned and desperate charade. After…After all the progress Amanda had been doing in the past weeks. She was so much better. She was getting better. Things would getting their own color again. But now….Everything was in vain because of Sam.

Paige tried to calm Amanda in the rest of the way there, though Jim couldn’t make out clearly what she meant. He was so furious he was tempted to stop the car a couple of times just to kick Sam’s ass. He seriously couldn’t believe that he was so childish to make something as stupid just because he was mad at him.

“I don’t want to go” Amanda pleaded when Jim stopped the car outside a gray and squared building in the town’s outskirts. As soon as Paige opened the door for her Amanda tried to sprint but the woman caught her by the elbow and kneeled before her to ask her to be strong.

“Let’s go” She said with some remorse and sadness in her voice as she pulled of Amanda’s arm to the door. “James?” She turned toward Jim with a brow arched.

“You go” He said with a flat smile. “I need to check the engine. It is making weird noises. Jackie would you help me?”

Paige nodded at him and a bit shaky walked toward the front door where a colorful sign in the glass. Awaited for them.

Jack frowned and joined him at the front of the car where Jim rose the hood to take a look at the engine.

“You know I don’t know much about cars” Jack pointed out at once.

“Yes. I forgot I don’t know you” Jim shot glaring at him. “Because the Jack I know never wouldn’t hurt a person he loves just to win a stupid fight”

“Excuse me?”

Jim left the hood fall nearly brushing Sam’s thumb.

“Why did you…?” Jack growled in pain as he held his thumb with the other hand and hopped around.

Jim smiled in his insides and let him there.

“Wait!” Jack shouted and went after him to continue their fight by the moment Jim opened the door and they were bathed by light. However, it wasn’t the light of the reception what almost blinded them, but the light on Amanda’s eyes.

“This place…” Murmured Jack at Jim as his eyes went to the ceiling where cherubim smiled from the clouds. Each one had a name written below them. Each had their own and unique face and one was being painted right there.

Jim didn’t have to think about it too much to know what they were and even when he would have thought it was disturbing. There was something soothing about looking at them up there, as if they were real angels hovering and praying for them.

The sky, and its rosy clouds blended with purple and later with orange to finally land on the green and blue that covered the rest of the walls in the reception. There were animals painted on every corner, and many of them where just paint but actual stuffed animals of almost real-life size.

Amanda let go of Paige’s hand and went straight to look at the elephant. It was so big and chubby Jim was sure you could sleep on it.

“Amanda” Paige called sternly.

“It’s okay. They are here so they can play with them” Replied the woman standing next to Paige who was wearing some kind of funny outfit taken right from one of Doctor Seuss’ stories. It was a mix between a jumpsuit and a pirate with green and pink details and of course the fabric looked like giraffe’s print.

“Oh. Umm… Hi” Approached Jim. “I’m looking for doctor Pewter. He was supposed to wait for us in here for a visit guide”

She nodded. “Yes. I’m doctor Pewter”

Jack made a weird noise and Jim stepped over his feet.

“Nice to meet you. My name is James, they are Paige, Jack and…” He signed to the girl with the bright eyes and the big smile. A girl who didn’t look at all like… “Amanda”

“It is wonderful to meet you Amanda” Dr. Pewter said kneeling next to the girl who smiled a bit shy, but Jim could definitely see a pink hue on her cheeks.

“Do you like this Elephant?”

Amanda nodded embarrassed.

“Oh my…Then…Come…Come one. You’re going to love the bouncing room”

She took Amanda’s hand and they ran inside.

“Amanda!” Paige’s eyes shot open and she looked at Jack at Jim who at the Jack time exchanged stares with her and ran after the girl and the weird woman.

They didn’t go very far so Jim just could see a par of rooms at his left and the patter repeated. Color and beautiful art. Everywhere you looked at.

“See? Is fun?” Doctor’s Pewter voice said as Jim showed up at the door to take a look inside a room fully made of fat and puffy-looking beds. Even the walls. It would look like an asylum’s room if it wasn’t because of the colors, the light and the loud laughs coming from Dr. Pewter and Amanda.

“What...Is this place?” Paige said confused and the turned toward Jim as if it was some kind of joke.

“I would gladly answer your questions” Answered a voice at their back.

Jim and the rest turned their backs on Dr. Pewter and Amanda to face a young girl. She was shorter than Dr. Pewter, and as her she was wearing one of those funny-looking jumpsuits.

“My Name is Alisha. I’m a volunteer here in the center and I used to be a patient once”

“I’m very confused, right now” Paige stated. “So. This place is a care center after all”

Alisha nodded. “I know what you are thinking. This doesn’t look like a clinic at all”

The three of them nodded.

“The team has worked hard to make the experience as friendly as possible for kids” She shoved a hand in one of her pockets to draw a very weird object, with large blue and yellow bulbs on the sides and with lines painted all across. If it wasn’t by the way she was holding it, Jim wouldn’t have guessed it was a syringe

“Does…Does that really work?” Paige pointed at it.

“Most of the time Kids are so immerse in the games that they don’t notice what happens” She replied putting the syringe back in her pocket.

“So…just offer them fantasies” Jack snapped and Jim sucked a breath.

“Would you walk with me?” She requested and they nodded and followed her by the call while Amanda’s shouts of joy grew fainter and fainter.

“I am very sure you all know that part of the reason Cancer tends to be so aggressive at times can be directly associated to depression” She said as she looked at the room’s doors on her way.

“That’s more than an assumption than reality” Jack replied with dumb voice tone.

“No. Your statement is the assumption here” She said with a smirk and opened one of the doors for them at the time laughs filled the air and a little boy ran out of the room and almost tripped on them while a girl in wheelchair hurried to go after him.

Jim smiled, Paige smiled, and Alisha smiled. Jack pressed his lips.

They were in a playroom with tunnels and a carpet that looked like grass, more giant stuffed animals, music and nurses accompanied the kids.

“This room saved my life. I was too little to really understand Cancer when I was diagnosed. My parents fell on a deep depression that ended by sinking me too. I didn’t understand, but if they were so sad, I had to be it too. I got worse. The doctors told my parents about this experimental place and the hopes they had it might make a difference”

The three of them looked at her in silence.

“This room is for kids who can’t go out. Kids who need special attention”

Jim look at Paige gap and he knew what she was thinking. It didn’t look at all as the room they had for this kind of patients and especially the kids didn’t resemble theirs at all.

Alisha told them that after a couple of months they started to notice some improvements in her health and five years later they officially declared her cancer-free. Since then she had been working in there as a volunteer to give back part of the hope and the happiness to the place that gave her so much.

That was St. Peter center for childcare. It was a medical center for cancer treatment, disguised as a school that at the same time was disguised as wonderland.

Apart from the constant games the kids had to choose from. The center was a school indeed. A very peculiar one, if you consider that the kids got to see the world in different ways, they applied technology to almost everything in the rooms, and for example for the kids that couldn’t go out to green areas, could experiment with virtual reality sets for nature classes.

It has a library that again looked more like Disneyland than an actual library. Kids had stories, a sea of them to pick and many nurses at their disposal to read for them.

The more the paced around. The more Jim liked that place and the feeling of hope filled him. Thought Amanda was doing well, you never could be so cautious and the way he saw her smile when they got there. That was what she needed. It was the right place to heal her body and heart.

When they stopped in the second floor to watch the center’s baseball teen practice in the yard, Alisha stopped and looked at them.

“I’m not sure if Doctor Pewter mentioned to you about the prices when you called for the visit”

Jim nodded. “Yes”

“I know it might be a bit scary, when this place started the government’s place was very little until it turned into nothing”

“You tell me” Paige snorted with sadness.

“We…Try to help as much as possible but of course it is hard to run this place with only good will. However we offer help to special cases. I like to call it scholarship. If you are considering we could be of help don’t hesitate to contact me. I know we have no much place, but we are willing to help as much as we can, and you will see she will get better like I did. I can get you the papers now if you want”

“How… How many especial cases can you take care of?” Paige’s hesitant voice asked casually. 

Jim and Jack jerked their necks toward her violently. Paige’s eyes were glassy.

Alisha’s hopeful face then didn’t look so happy. “Unfortunately right now, the center is almost at top, I wish we could do more, but right now we can only take three…um especial cases at most.”

Paige let out a giggle. “Of course. Is natural” She looked disappointed. “If you don’t mind I would like to meet the rest of the staff and the facilities while I make my mind”

“Of course. Please follow me”

She said _“While I make my mind”_ Was there really a choice? Could she be so stubborn?

“Aren’t you coming?” Alisha asked arching a brow at Jim.

He shook his head. “I think I want to see the game” He smiled. Were they kidding? What else did he need to see? It was more than perfect. It was…

“So…?”

“What are you doing here?” Said Jim with his eyes still fixed in the game below.

“You didn’t answer” Jack pointed out and got in the middle of the game and Jim to demand and answer.

“So, What. Jackie?” Jim rolled his eyes.

“Have you already decided who are the lucky three that have the right to come here and live?

Jim froze. Suddenly it was so cold in there. He parted his lips. “I know…I know this isn’t easy, but I have to bring her here” Jim looked away and Jack went there too. To block his vision.

“Why not Toni? He is doing worst that her. Why not Juliana? Her parents don’t even speak the language and rarely understand when we ask them for medicines? Why not…?”

“I GET IT OKAY?” Jim shouted and then embarrassment filled him as he looked around. Luckily they both where alone. “You think I haven’t thought about what you said?”

“No. You don’t, because…”

“I’m trying Sam. I would like to get them all here and save them all, and I wish I could do more but I don’t know what else. My parents will help me with me with Amanda, but I just can’t ask them to for the rest of the kids, I can’t just…” _Beg for help? Ask them to take care of my responsibilities? Solve another of my problems?_

He turned and faced the kids in the yard again. The girl holding the bat just made a hit and now two boys in the contrary team ran after it as she ran and the nurses cheered her.

They looked so happy.

“This place is amazing” Jack said with hoarse voice after a long silence. “I’m… I’m sorry. I know you have good intentions and I’m not mad at you for trying. I’m just feel frustrated because it shouldn’t be just her coming here”

“You think I don’t know that? I feel like shit for doing all this for her, I feel like crap for letting them there, but she can’t stay there any longer, the place is falling apart, the pipes are leaking, the food is scarcer every day and the help is coming in shorter amounts”

“Another hit” Jack chuckled.

“Uh?” Jim arched a brow and Jack pointed down with his index.

Jim looked down at saw the kids running. He knew they did their best at Paige’s center and the kids smiled and laughed and had fun every day. But St. Peter’s children looked very different. They looked healthy, for real.

Jim smirked as he saw the kids below running ones after others and crashing on the ground and the genuine aloud chuckles that are the personal mark of a happy child.

“If things were easier” Jack started with his eyes on them. “We could have our own place”

Jim blinking not getting his words.

“We could take Paige and all her kids with us and take care of them like they do here. Just go out of school and go straight there to grab the bats and the fairytale’s books”

It was a nice thought.

“We could even take turns to be Santa on Christmas”

“You would need to get really fat to get in the costume” Jim joked.

Jack snorted. “I could do it. Just to prove you I’d be a better Santa than you”

They both laughed and Jim felt a knot in his stomach and looked away. “It would be nice”

“Yeah. Imagine see get the chance to see that everyday” He pointed down.

“We could even get the kids to trips without Paige’s permission” Jim added.

Jack nodded. “Imagine getting them to the zoo”

“And the aquarium” Replied Jim smiling.

“The museum”

“The amusement park”

“The observatory”

“The circus”

“The beach”

“Camp in the forest”

“That would be fun, to watch you fit them all in your car” Jack chuckled.

Jim rolled his eyes. “Of course we would have to buy a Van, or a bus”

“Buses aren’t that expensive now that gas price is dropping”

“They never were that expensive”

“I know a place where they have all kind, I bet we can find one with a kitchen for when the kids are hungry”

“We could…” Jim stopped short and now they were looking at each other in silence.

Jack turned toward the game again.

“Guys lets go” Paige’s voice called after them.

When Jim spun found Paige standing at the other side of the corridor along with Dr. Pewter and Alisha.

“James! James! James! Can we come back again?”

Jim smirked. “See? I told you, you would like to come here”

“We hope to see you soon, Amanda” Said Dr. Pewter hi-fiving her at the door while Jim and Jack crossed their eyes and the feeling of hopelessness leaped on them.

…….

Derek only let the alarm to blare once before he nudged me.

“Wake up” He mumbled and I pressed my eyes.

“I’m serious”

I remained silent. Maybe if played my part well enough I could have some extra-sleeping hours.

“I know you’re awake”

“I’m not” I replied without daring to open my eyes.

“Then how’s that you are replying?”

“I’m not replying. You’re imagining it”

He seemed to believe me, because silence stretched longer than I expected and before I noticed my mind was drifting again.

“I am not”

“Yes, you are”

“Get your butt out of bed” He grumbled. “I’m hungry”

“You hate my food” I replied cursing in my insides.

“You hate your food” He shot back. “Now. Wake up”

I sucked a breath. _Shit_. I thought as he literally kicked my butt out of bed and I crashed in the ground.

“It’s your turn to cook today” I lied.

“No. It’s yours. Wake me up when it’s done” He chuckled and turned his back to me.

Jesus! Now I was regretting establishing cooking shifts, or staying up till late night watching stupid movies, or managing a business and having to wake up like at three am to cook for that asshole that would swallow everything in a minute and wouldn’t even say a word about how it was. 

 I started the oven and put some water to boil while I went to the bathroom.

While I was on my way to the bathroom and started to see the first strands of light in the corridors I heard noises insides some rooms, which meant that most of our house’s mates were coming back from vacations. School was starting on next Monday after all. I cringed to think how in the hell Derek and I would managed to get everything in school in place and keep running our business.

When I came back to the room the bums were fresh and squashy again. I put some eggs to boil and poured Derek’s coffee on his Star War’s mug.

Got some all caramel apple bars in the oven to heat them up a bit. French toasts and then picked a tray. Yeah. I was starting to get in shape in this breakfast thing.

I left my tray over my desktop and went to Derek’s bed.

I hadn’t think about my feelings and that crap since yesterday afternoon, but now that I approached him with the tray and saw him with his face on the pillow and his bare back over the mattress. I couldn’t help feeling a bit weird. Again a knot tied on my stomach and I felt ridiculously uneasy for doing things that until five days ago where mainstream for us, but now… The way he lifted his head following the scent of the coffee and the caramel apple bars and how the room lit up when he opened his eyes...

I left the tray next to him without saying anything else and balled my hands to stop the shaking. I went straight to pick my tray and sit to watch the news next to him as we used to when something brought me to a halt, and that thing was my bed.

It had dust. Not just some specks of dust but actual dust.

Watching my bed in such conditions made me realize a couple of things. First of all. We needed to clean our room. I guess Derek had been too down for his dad the past weeks to notice that we were living on a crime scene room. The next thing I noticed was actually a question I did to myself. When was the last time I slept in my own bed? I couldn’t make it clear in my mind but certainly it was way before going to Sunset Valley. This meant that…This shit was getting out of control. I was seriously getting used to too many things. Things I shouldn’t or couldn’t have. One day Derek’s mood would improve and he would get girls in the room again and everything would be a mess or well, I was going to turn into a mess and will become all jealous and would stalk him which wouldn’t be difficult considering that we lived, studied and worked together. The atmosphere would turn toxic between us because of my pain and self-loath for having feelings for him when I shouldn’t and everything would turn to shit when I couldn’t handle it anymore and accidentally said or did something I would soon regret. Just like the last time.

When I kissed him.

I had to let it go. I had to let Derek go in a sentimental way and at the same time I was mad because of it. I was so happy, even though those days were charged with so much pain and we were acting like a sixty-year old married couple it was only because of his dad… I…Those days….

I never felt happier in my life and I hated myself for taking advantage of Derek’s pain I really wished I could make it up for him and stop having feelings for him and at the same time I just wanted time to freeze and stay like that forever.

It wasn’t fair.

As I planned the day before. I needed to find a boyfriend. That was the only way I could get my mind distracted from Derek and we would be able to continue being best friends and things would stay the same, or else…I would have to say good to Derek. For good this time. I just…Couldn’t ruin it again. This secret would die with me. Not even Liam or Jim would know about it.

It was too dangerous.

“Are you planning on staying standing there another hour or you will eat something?” Derek made me snap and I realized that he was half-way through the caramel apple bar snickering at me while he checked the news on his laptop and I…And I stopped in time for god knows how long.

Without replaying I sat on my bed and brought the toast to my mouth.

…….

The trip to the new center as you could notice, brought a sea of new feelings to Jim’s chest.

First of all he got very excited everything he recalled Amanda’s face there inside. The joy while she hopped like a hare in the bouncing room. Her smile.

It made him happy. It made him sad.

He missed Emily and it killed him to think that she did too.

His next feeling was disappointment with himself. He knew he didn’t have any power on Emily’s passing and he didn’t even know she was getting worse, but if only that place would have showed up a bit early in the horizon if he only would have brought them there in time…She would be alive or at least she would have had wonderful last days.

If only he would have met them earlier.

If only Jack would have brought him a year before to the center.

If only he would have met Jack earlier.

Time. It was the only thing in the equation Jim didn’t have control over, and was the only thing that ruined everything.

His last feeling was a mix between anger for Sam’s trick, frustration for not being able to have a place in there for all the kids and finally nostalgia. All those brought by that weird conversation Jack and he had.

It felt weird.

Jim not only pictured all the ideas they had in their minds. For a minute he actually lived in that world, and now he longed for it. He craved for the day trips for the van and the bus, for the voices of the kids in the back singing Sam’s songs while Jim drove.

It felt so real, he could almost scrap the steering wheel.

It was like that for Jack too. Jim saw it in his eyes. The abrupt disappointment they both felt when he realized they were just planning a future that couldn’t be real.

It cut them deep.

If only…Jim was confused. He didn’t even know where that visit to the new center and the conversation between them both left them. The way Jack was talking and acting, the way the light was reflected on Sam’s eyes…It was like seeing the old Sam. The Jack Jim used to call Jackie. The Jack that used to look at Jim with those marveled and curious eyes, the Jack that always praised him and told him he was an angel that just came to this world to make him feel happier to be alive. The Jack that never frowned.

It was him.

Jim sighed and turned the page. He was supposed to be studying for next semester’s electronics, but instead he was staring at Boyledstad’s cover and thinking about Sam.

Were they…Were they still mad at each other?

His phone buzzed and then he recalled he had been texting Paige the last hour. She was probably free to answer now.

“I’m not fully convinced yet, James” He read aloud with annoyance.

“What else do you need to convince yourself?” He replied back.

He waited two minutes and her answer made his phone buzz. “It isn’t like I’m not convinced. I am. I just don’t think it is necessary. She has been doing better for a while now. Maybe she is truly okay and doesn’t need that place”

Alright this was bitchy, but Jim couldn’t help himself and before he noticed he had already tap send for the following text “Or maybe you just need her too much and feel afraid”

After waiting for a response for two minutes he realized he crossed the line.

“I’m sorry”

Yet. She didn’t reply.

“I’m really sorry Paige. That was harsh I know, but you need to understand that we can’t just stay arms crossed. We need to do what is best for her and if she is doing better already, then… She will get better in no time and then when she is in remission you will…” He didn’t press send just then, because he wasn’t sure of how to continue the message.

Amanda was under Paige’s care because of the cancer, but she still was an orphan. What would happen when she got okay and didn’t need the center or any center? Would she be taken to a foster house? Would Paige adopt her? She wouldn’t have time to give her a normal life and still being in charge of the center. Would she leave for her? She founded it because of her son who died of cancer at fifteen, that place was her life but would she…?

He was running in circles. They still had a lot to figure out before they thought about Amanda’s future. After all, before planning it they had to make sure she had a future.

He shook his head and got back to the text. “See how everything gets better for all. Especially for her”

“Yes. That’s what Jackson said too but, it’s hard you know? I want to listen to you boys. I want to do it, but I feel scared about what would happen if she gets worse and they don’t tell us”

 _Jackson said too?_ He arched a brow at his phone. So now he was on Jim’s side? Jim would need to find an asylum to intern him. He was clearly nuts though…He had to admit that reading that made his cheeks burn.

“They Will. It isn’t that far. You can visit her every day if that’s what you want. I can take you whenever I have some spare time and I’ll try to visit her at least once every day”

She didn’t reply for a while, so Jim decided to go back to his book or better said, to daydream about the look on Sam’s face in the center and then his phone buzzed again.

“Alright. You boys win. I don’t want to, but I do understand that this is the best for her and I just hope I don’t regret making this decision”

Jim took a deep breath and started laughing with joy. He did it. Amanda would have a better opportunity in life. Everything would be okay for her, now…He just needed to think how to split between the two centers, school and his personal life.

Nothing to worry about. Until his phone stared blaring loudly and he picked it up.

“Um…Yeah?”

“TAYLOR! MOVE YOUR ASS TO TRAINING NOW OR I’LL GET TO YOUR HOUSE AND KICK IT ALL THE WAY TO THE FIELD!”

Jim sighed and cut the call.

_Damn it!_

…….

I just realized something very disturbing. While I was telling you about Jim’s day, something kept coming to my mind and I just couldn’t shake it off.

Here is the thing.

I just discovered that so far I have written Derek’s name six-twenty-five times. Which is wow a lot if you consider that this diary isn’t supposed to be about him but Eric, and ain’t like I’m comparing or anything but…I just named Kyle four-twenty-seven times so far. So…Yeah. I was right about taking things too far with Derek.

I had to calm down. Get a guy in my life. A real one. Not a horrible human being subject for the project but a real boyfriend with the kisses, the hugs and the naked part.

I just…Wished that Derek’s face would stop showing every time I thought about getting a boyfriend.

It would be hard, especially because I had to stay away from him which would be kind of hard to achieve if you considered that we lived, worked and studied together.

At some point in our relationship I lost the track and developed new feelings for him. Or better said. I just ignored my feelings for a while now and for some reason they just swept me those days and now they were like a bunch of cars horning at me in the red light of life where my hormones where the highway and Derek was the destination.

Yeah. A highway to hell.

Anyway. Here is the tricky part about all this staying away from Derek thing. That even when it was just an idea in the back of my mind while we walked in the chilly and dry morning to open the studio, something warm made my guts squirm, because deep inside even when it was a good idea to part ways with him slightly, the real reason is that I craved for him to notice some change, anything that would bring him to me asking what was….Nothing.

It couldn’t happen.

Here is where the boyfriend comes into the equation _to make him jealous_ No! To make me forget about those stupid ideas and plans. See? Derek was right! I always find the way to get my butt in trouble! And damn, I just named him again. 

Hormones Six-thirty. Stiles. Cero.

At least I didn’t have to find excuses not to talk. We both were exhausted because of last night’s movies marathon. It wasn’t healthy. We were living too much into the other. I couldn’t keep sharing his bed, his chest, his warmness, his…

_Crap! Boner! Boner!_

“Why that face?” He frowned at me with funny look.

I rolled my eyes and pretended boredom while I actually just wanted to exteriorize concerns for having boners about my best friend.

“Go check everything. The girls must be on their way”

“Right. I forgot” He shrugged and went to the back-store.

That day we were expecting some female models for a local clothing brand. We saw some sample of their previous works and they looked amazing and they already had open new franchises in other two states, so we were very enthusiastic about this work. We could keep growing if we did this okay. Also Derek offered to work in the graphics and the concept though I thought I read in the mail that they already had a color palette in mind and would bring some elements for the background and enhance the models.

Having Derek gone to the back-store helped to lower my teen-aging levels, and also helped me to get some spare minutes to lay my head in the couch’s armchair while we waited for…

“Hi mom” I heard Derek’s voice from the back along with his feet echoing while he paced around.

“Really? Oh…Those are great news! Right?”

I jerked up and looked back.

Derek turned toward me with a lit up face as he set my camera on its tripod and looked at me.

I arched a brow inquisitively and he motioned with his fingers some movements while he mouthed “He moved his fingers” for me.

“Of course, I know. But it still have to be great news”

As kept my smirk while he looked, until he turned on his heels and kept pacing.

Of course that his dad moving was something to celebrate, however by the context of the talk I could easily make out that the doctor let Derek’s mom know the same thing that I was thinking. That probably it was just a natural reflex of the body. 

The door’s bell rang. 

I turned and went to open the crystal doors. However. In the entrance wasn’t the owner of the clothing brand, neither the models’ agent, but Eric.

“Morning!” He said stepping in cheerful.

As soon as I saw the smirk on his face I recalled how things ended the last time we saw each and looked at him embarrassed.

“Eric. Sorry. I forgot to call to well-Apologize” I chuckled.

“It’s okay. Ain’t like you got control over what Derek says or do and I got by how mad he was that things didn’t get so well”

“No” I admitted nodding. “His dad…Isn’t waking up. Though… I beckoned my head toward the backdoor. Apparently he moved some fingers last night”

“Those are awesome news. Right?”

I smiled. “I gues…Yeah” Yeah. Kyle was right. It was awesome news. I didn’t know why I thought that way just minutes ago, but now that Kyle said it didn’t sound as crazy as it did coming from Derek’s lip.

“Stily?”

“Uh?” I snapped. “Yeah. Those are great news”

“I’m talking about us”

 _Us?_ Damn how long did I get lost thinking about what he said?

“Ex…Excuse me?”

“Are you still asleep? You look like you should have stayed in bed” He gave me a lopsided smirk.

“Sorry. What were you saying?”

“About the film festival, Stily. Vacations are almost over and we…Well I’m assuming you haven’t started yet. Right?” He finished with some fear leaping in his eyes that scrambled everything inside me.

I forgot that I was supposed to be working on a fake movie for the film festival. He knew I signed and also knew how stubborn I was when it was about movies. He wouldn’t buy that easy that I decided to quit and of course he was already thinking that I cut him off from the project without even letting him audition, which…Wouldn’t be that far from reality if you considered that Kyle was a terrible actor and that working with him really meant WORKING.

“Oh…Look…Eric…I’m”

“It’s…It’s okay if you started! Really! Ain’t like just because we’re…’

“Eric…It’s not”

“Really…Really. You’re professional I just thought I could get something for future auditions. Really”

“Eric. I haven’t started” I hurried to reply. “Actually, I forgot about it with all the things that have happened lately. I didn’t have time for planning the movie let alone casting” There is. Lie-vomit.

His face lit up.

“So…There is a change…”

I arched a brow. “I gues…We still got time”

“Great!” He said excited. “I…Got to go now, but…Could you please mail me the script?”

“Sure” I nodded not knowing what the hell I was doing. How in the hell I would get enough time to work, study, make a pretended movie with Kyle and have a life?

That’s what happen when you lie too often, at some point your lies must become truths.

A van stopped outside our building and by look of it I guessed our models were here.

“I got to work” I told him trying to be polite.

“Yeah. I got to go anyway. Just one last thing”

I arched a brow intrigued. “Is something wrong?”

“No! In the contrary” He chuckled. “I just read that Image Dragons is coming to Newport on Halloween”

Oh…My…

“Really?” I said excited.

“Yeah. We need to get tickets as soon as they are on sale”

“And get a car”

“Oh come, on! It isn’t that far” He laughed. “What if you ask Derek’s…”

I didn’t hear the rest of what he was saying because something came to my mind then. Image Dragons was going to be at three hours from us, on Derek’s birthday. It was like an opportunity if I got tickets….

I had to get rid of those ideas.

“Of course, count on me” I kept replying while nodding though I have no idea of what the hell he was saying. I got one eye on him, other to the models who were already coming out of their van and my mind was well…Holding a hand on certain concert.

“See you later, then”

“Sure”

“Remember, to mail me the script”

“Alright, Eric. Go. I have to work” I Chuckled.

 _Damn._ I have noticed that lately Kyle got me in trouble easier than I did it myself.

“Umm. Hi” I said changing my expression as the models came in.

“Hi” A few of them replied waving their hands while the rest simply smiled and the prep team rushed behind them.

Derek came to the front to chat with the agent. You know him, he has always been better than me with words and close deals.  Meanwhile I get back, found them places to sit. We had plenty of room because the back-store used to be more like a abandoned store for a company so the prep team found itself very comfortable and actually the designer in charge got very satisfied and decided not to use all the stuffs they brought because they she liked the mix between _“sober and urban”_ of what I liked to talk _“Hipster at Derek’s level”_. Anyway. Since there was plenty of girls and outfits I became Derek’s right hand and gave instructions to the girls while I managed the lights and he made the shots.

We worked like that for hours. It was amazing how something that seemed as simple as a photo shoot could be so stressing.  The designer got me on edge because she was some-sort of Instagram celebrity and every time Derek made a shot she wanted to check it and give me orders of where should I put the light. Bitch. Luckily the models were kinder and seemed to be enjoining working with us.

At lunch we took a break, because seriously. It was a challenging ask to move around the room with all the material. We definitely needed to hire some help and also the designer was already talking that she would like so street takes.

Anyway. Derek didn’t have time to make lunch because in thirty minutes we would have to go back to the studio so we decided to have something at the bakery-store along with the models

When we were about to finish our coffees someone approached us as the models started their way out of the pace to go back to our store.

At first I frowned at the two girls standing before us and wondered if they were part of the models, but after two more seconds of frying my nerve cells I recognized them.

“Umm. Hi.” I tilted my head to the side a bit. “Flora and Cashmere. Right?”

They nodded and smiled at me. “You got great memory”

“Um… It’s nice to see you. This is my…” _Shit what I was going to say?_ “This is Derek”

“Hey” They shook their hands in the air and came back to me. “It’s nice to see you. Are you on a day off or something?”

“No… Um… Actually, we’re on a break and we should get going alright” Derek replied as he stood and beckoned at me with his eyes to tell me that the models were already outside the studio.

“Well” I started following Derek. “It’s been nice to see you girls. I hope you…”

“Wait” Cashmere got me by the sleeves of my sweeter. “We wanted to ask you something” And said so she pulled of me so strong that I almost fell on top of them.

I frowned as I recovered my balance and looked at them puzzled. “Yeah?”

“We were wondering if you would like to work with us”

Didn’t we have this conversation earlier? “Yeah. I’ll keep it in…”

“No. I mean. Like today. We have some things we could use…Quick scenes, nothing too rush. Just natural, minimalistic but with a personal mark you know. Unique”

I looked at Derek and then at them again. “Uh?”

Flora rolled her eyes. “We want to shoot a short movie with you. Something simple. Not long, from five to ten minutes”

“Oh….Okay” I replied very confused. “I guess I…”

“We’ll pay you if need it” Cashmere cut me short.

Okay. Things were starting to get interesting in here. They wanted to work with me very desperately. It was flattering so I would definitely do it. I just hoped they acted better than Eric.

“I’ll do it, do right now… I’m kind of busy”

“Stiles” Derek hurried me.

“Oh…Come one! We’re kind of a rush. Don’t you think you slip from whatever you are doing? We’ll pay you well”

Bah! She thought she could buy me with money? Who the hell they thought I….? Okay I was very sure the purse she just pulled out to tug her credit card was more expensive than all my lenses.

Derek noticed their desperation too because he cleared his throat when he saw how much they were willing to pay. “We’re in kind of a…What do you say about tomorrow?”

They ignored him which I found rude. “Derek…” I hesitated. “You think you can continue without me? They brought assistants anyway. I bet they could be of help”

His eyes popped and he fixed them on me outraged. He was mad because I was letting him down, and also because he noticed that those two didn’t seem very enthusiastic of working with him. But it was the right choice to make. We could use the money and also the time apart.

Derek proposed the next day so we could work on it together as everything else we did and it was okay. I mean we were best friend and were used to never be apart, but my feelings were getting messier with the passing of days and I really needed to draw some boundaries for the sake of our relationship. That’s why I did it. You got to believe me. I didn’t want to call his attention at all.

I mean it.

That’s how I established the foundations of a more solid friendship by setting ourselves apart.

Now… Flora and Cashmere. Well… It was very weird to work with them. To start they didn’t have a fucking idea of what the hell they were doing. I mean, their script was just one page of two girls having a chat about leaving home while they sat on swings in a park. Nothing else.

I didn’t get where in the hell they wanted to go with all that, but the thing is that by the end of the day we hadn’t shoot anything and instead we passed the day planning a very sketchy and shallow script about a goodbye party for a girl. For when we finished the time had stretched to a twenty-three minutes story-board that implied at least three more Characters, so they called their friend Anne and two boys that I recognized from view in the times the acting program shared room with my class though I don’t remember their names right now.

Of course the shooting stretched even more than expected. Especially because even when they weren’t bad at Eric’s level they still were bad at acting and seriously they made me want to kick the camera with their Tobey Maguire expressions.

They kept me very busy those days. Though I got to admit that also I had a lot of fun. I had been away from what I liked the most about movies those past months. With all the things that have happened lately I hadn’t have much time to such whatever silly thing that crossed in front of me and now I was regretting it and actually Eric’s idea about shooting Damiantia even looked appealing but without Kyle of course. But it would have to wait for the graduation, however that didn’t mean that I couldn’t make plans, find locations, draw storyboards.

It was exciting.

Those days were fun. Especially because we worked with some fireworks and most of the takes where in roof of buildings at sunsets. The problem was when I got back home.

Derek didn’t take very well that I let him down with the model’s things, and even when he didn’t say anything he also felt a bit jealous of me because of how Flora and Cashmere basically licked my boots for work me and the fact that I just left…Well. I had to do it, okay? When I got home that afternoon dinner was already over my desktop. I pretended to be offended by his silence and used it as excuse to sleep on my own bed for the first time in months.

Even when I wanted to cry over my sleep because my plan was working I had to be strong. I wasn’t concerned because Derek was mad at me. I mean. It happened all the time. In no time we would be talking to each other again. I just wanted to slow things a bit. That was all. In matter of two days things came back to normal but now I was so busy with Flora and friends that it became a custom for us. I woke up. Supported Derek in the studio a couple of hours then went with Flora and their friends to shoot, came back home and ignored Eric’s mail asking me when he could audition for me.

I chuckled in my insides every time I read Eric’s mail because seriously Kyle was a crappy actor and there was nothing we could do about it. However, just as Flora and Cashmere, he seemed desperate to work with me no matter the cost. Anyway, sooner or later I would have to make the audition for him and let him down for good, or else he would suspect that something fishy was going on and I couldn’t risk the project at this point. 

My other option could be to accept his audition and since Damiantia occurs two five different characters that never met each other I could simply fool him and let him believe I was shooting with the rest of the crew in other locations and that way he wouldn’t suspect anything.

Bah. It seemed like a lot of work and I was exhausted. Since Derek still a bit mad at me made me clean the back-store every day before closing and it included all the hard work. Plus now he was making me make dinner too.

It was funny how I had to do exactly the opposite of what I wished the most. But I was going to thank myself in the future when I had a boyfriend and Derek was still my best friend in the world.

…….

Training started very early that day. First day with Jim back in the team and also it was raining. Softly…But still it was a chilly and annoying rain that makes you want to run to bed.

For the sake of his personal safety Jim climbed down of the car. The coach threatened him remember? Bullshit. You know very well what he was doing there. Actually…

As soon as Jim closed the door and the first drops for rain made him regret doing it a hand took him by the elbow and made him spin on his heels.

Jack pulled of him and looked at him from top to bottom.

“What are you doing here?”

Alright I can’t help it. Jack was so stupid sometimes that it is impossible not to mock of him especially if you consider that Jim was wearing his uniform.

Jim was thinking the same I am because he arched a brow without saying anything. He felt a bit disappointed, because after the way they connected while they planned that impossible but cute future together, he thought… That maybe would be different.

Well, they kind of were.

I mean. Jack didn’t look mad but kind of frustrated and concerned.

“I told you you can’t come and go whenever you want”

Jim rolled his eyes. “Tell that to the coach who won’t let me go that easily”

“So…You aren’t here on your will?” Jack frowned.

Jim shook his head with a bored expression.

Jack let him go. “I’m sorry” He said hoarsely and started his way toward the field. “But you shouldn’t be here. If the rest of the guys start making fun of you, I won’t….I can’t help you with that”

Jim snorted and strode next to him. “I don’t need anyone else’s and if someone did it would be then” Jim shot back and brushed his dripping hair back so water would stop getting into his eyes.

When he heard a whistle and some chuckles, he almost felt at home.

“Look who’s here” Paul teased. “How are things in the forest fairy?”

“You should know. We were snuggling on leaves just hours ago. Remember?” Jim replied with not even a speck of devilishness in him. Instead he made his tune sound like an innocent remark.

That would hurt Paul more.

“You should have called my fairy god mother. I was so bored in my hole the whole night” Jim heard Aidan say from somewhere and he had to make an effort to don’t burst in laughs.

He didn’t want to make the subject mainstream, he wanted to start a fight with Paul and get kicked out of the team by the coach for good this time.

And speaking of the devil. The coach showed up right after Eric. He seemed very pleased to see Jim there, but Jim could easily tell it wasn’t because of his skills but because he was celebrating how intimidating he could get to be.

He wanted them to work as hard as possible because next day would they would open the season against the bees and the man didn’t want anyone to make any foolishness on his field, especially the new guy who still was a mess at playing.

He was very sloppy, though he was almost as fast as Aidan, he was good following orders and dribbling though no so much. Oh and…He didn’t detach his eyes from Jim the whole day.

Maybe Jim was just overreacting because he was making sure of humiliate everyone in the team with his skills just to piss them off and start a fight, so…Basically all the eyes were on him, but yet he just had that sort of feeling that the guy wanted to say something to him.

Even when Paul stayed silent the rest of the day and he just laughed when Jim tried to get him enraged with other two gay remarks, his friends wouldn’t miss the chance to ask Jim when he would have his new vagina ready.

So by midday Jim’s plan have failed the comments kept coming to the point he would explode any time. The coach seemed to notice that something was going on when Kevin made Jim fall on porpoise and accidentally landed with his crotch right on top of Jim’s face. Because he called to lunch break right when Jim’s throbbing hands prepared to make Kevin a bit prettier.

The coach approached to make sure that everyone found their own way so Jim just sucked a breath and went to the bakery store in the avenue to have a coffee with Aidan.

Kyle and Garret followed them to make sure he was alright and shortly after Jack joined them at the table, though he didn’t say anything Jim could read in his mind clearly what he was thinking.

Jim took out his phone and texted.

“If you are so happy for what happened, there are plenty of tables around”

Eric, Garret and Aidan started to chat with the new guy who joined them then and Sam’s phone buzzed. He read the text and then squinted at Jim.

“I’m not happy. I’m concerned about you. You can’t expect to make those kind of jokes and expect people to laugh”

Jim read the text openmouthed and actually had to give excuses to the rest for his face.

“So according to you. It is funny as long as it is against me”

Jack checked his phone and left it on the table without replying and instead he started to engulf his sandwich on silence.

“Right, James?” Garret said suddenly and Jim snapped.

Jim arched a brow. “Uh?”

“I was telling Alan that he can do better, just like us. We are better than before. Right?”

Jim nodded and then frowned. “Sorry. I think we know each other but not properly. I’m James”

Alan nodded. “I knew I knew you. You’re Derek and Stiles’s friend. Right?”

Jim nodded.

“How…How are they?”

As soon as he heard that phrase Derek’s dad came to his mind, and if Alan didn’t know about it, it meant that they weren’t that close friends as Alan was implying with his body language.

“They are great” Jim smiled.

“We should go. The coach wants us back in the field” Kyle said shoving his phone in his pocket and started the way out followed by Garret.

“Hey umm… James, right?” Alan stopped Jim at the door of the store while the orders crossed the street the get back to training.

Jim nodded and arched a brow. “What can I do for you?”

Alan scratched the back of his head while he looked at Jim thoughtfully until he finally stopped and spoke “Nothing I just wanted to know how your friends are, that’s all”

“They’re…Fine I guess. I hadn’t seen them in a while now”

“Oh, but you all are very close. Right?”

Jim arched a brow. “Do you wanna hookup with one of them?” He chuckled.

Alan blushed and looked away. “I’m not gay”

“I didn’t mention boys name” Jim snickered and patted Alan’s back. “Let’s go”

Alan didn’t say anything else on their way back to the field and actually he slowly and almost unnoticeably moved to the side while they neared the rest of the team, as if making sure no one saw him walking next to Jim.

Right before joining the others Jim sucked a breath and tried not to think about Kevin, Paul or Even Sam. He just wanted to finish the day and go home but considering that they had lunch time it meant that he wouldn’t be leaving any time soon.

He looked down and finished his way as he was suddenly taken down as his own cry of surprise and pain ringed in his ears. The world spun and he had to roll onto his back until a hand pulled him up to find the coach’s sweaty forehead and shocked expression looking around as five year old boy abandoned in the jungle.

“I…I have to go” He blabbed and stood helped by Aidan.

“Coach…” Kyle started. “Are you…?”

“I’m fine” The man cut short dryly. “Keep practicing. I’ll see you guys in the game tomorrow”

The man didn’t say anything else he just tumbled a bit and then sprinted the rest of the way to his car.

No one said anything else. Everyone just stared in silence as the man opened the door and started the engine to drive away.

“Wha…What happened to the coach?” Garret asked with shaky voice.

“I don’t…” Jack started but Kevin was faster.

“James tried to kiss him and he ran away”

Most of the guys were still dumbfounded to pay attention to Kevin’s joke, but some others heard well enough to let go some snickers like Gary, or to face Kevin, like Aidan.

“It’s not fun man, you don’t know what could…” Aidan was saying while he put a hand on Kevin’s arm and the guy stepped back.

“What? Are you jealous because it wasn’t you down there with James?”

“Kev, man. Cut it off” Paul tried to shut him but he just scoffed.

“Oh look but turns out that everyone in the team is fucking him except me” He laughed and Jim balled his hands.

“Sorry. Only pretty people is invited” Aidan shot back.

“You should go to the game with skirts instead of shorts, it would suit you better”

“I wish I could but I left mine on your house, last night when I was when your mom”

Kevin pushed him back and Aidan fell on his butt to quickly bounce back up right on time to see Jim knocking Kevin down.

Kev scrambled on his feet to get back as Jim scanned his surrounding in case Paul or anyone else decided to join forces with Kev.

“Wanna piece of me little faggot?”

“Is you who seems to want my fist right up the ass” Jim replied enraged as he sprinted toward Kev but before he could give fix his awful face with his knuckles Jack appeared in front of them.

“Stop!” He yelled furious Jim could see how mad he was by how red his ears were.

“Stay away Jackie. This has nothing to do with you”

“It is all your fault! I told you to don’t come back but you don’t listen”

“Excuse me?” Jim said openmouthed. “So, it is my fault that all of you are a bunch of intolerant assholes”

“Why do we have to accept you swaggering around your faggotry?” Kevin growled.

“Well. Most of people here have to come to training every day and stand stupidity”

“Enough” Jack shut them. “James, just leave okay? I won’t protect you if you say anything else”

“Excuse me Mr. Prince, but this princess can kick asses on her own” Jim scoffed irate and then an idea flashed his mind and he smirked. “Actually, you know what? You’re right I should go to do some needle work”

Everyone looked at him very confused and Jim just left swaggering around as Kev said minutes ago. Next day would be his last day on that team. He would make sure of it. 

……

Routine absorbed me whole. It was the same every day, I woke alone in my own bed, had breakfast with Derek, we went to work then I left him with our customers while I finished Flora and Cashmere’s movie. I didn’t really get the point. They needed as fast as possible which was becoming a pain in the ass, because I had other things to do apart from just working on their crappy project, and the weirdest of all was that they didn’t pay much attention to the small details where I liked to work on. It was almost as if they didn’t really care about their movie and they just wanted to be complete. Clearly they weren’t getting any awards for it but apparently that wasn’t their goal anyway.

Another thing that was part of my day apart from looking from my bed to Derek’s with puppy eyes while he slept…Was Eric’s texts. As I mentioned before, he was determined to audition for Damiantia, especially since I mailed him the script. He was very interested in…Surprise! The main Character! Damian! The hell I would give him the main role, if I did the movie for real. I didn’t want to end my career when it was just starting.

The thing is that just as Flora and Cashmere, Kyle wouldn’t let me breath and it was turning very annoying, especially because dealing with the girls’ movie, work, my troubled feelings about Derek and how silence between in the store wasn’t smooth and relaxed anymore and instead was becoming a kind of heavy and disturbing because I just kept picturing running to his arms and saying something silly while he rested his chin over my crown.

All that crap was taking its toll on me. I was becoming insane, voices talked to me the whole time. Flora, Cashmere, the clients, the sudden silence from Mr. Matthews’ source news, Eric, the voices inside of me fighting each other, telling me to trust my heart, telling to do something stupid, telling me to run away from Derek hoping he would go after me and a darker and more realistic one telling me run because he would never chase me around no matter how much I wished it.

Yup. I was mess. But…Things were about to change next week.

“Friday!” Derek said excited as we opened the store that morning.

“Yay, Friday” I replied wryly.

“Oh come on! Cheer up! Next week we’ll be back on school. Our final year”

Wow! He was so right! How couldn’t I cheer up if next Monday we would officially start our last season together?

I slapped myself in the insides. “You’re right sorry. Just had a long week”

“You’re done with those girls?” He arched a brow as he flipped the sign of the sleeping bear at the door into the bear with a camera on hand.

I nodded. “Yeah. It wasn’t that funny working with them after all. They basically made me join all the raw parts together. I wish I hadn’t put my name on it”

His eyes sparkled with mischievousness. “Do you imagine it?”

“What?” I arched a brow.

“And here we are in the one hundred edition of the academy awards” He started with his pretended British accent that I liked so much even when it was so crappy. Oh my God! I always cracked in laughs every time I heard him.

“Why the Brit accent?” I chuckled.

“Didn’t you know that me! Sean Bean would be the host of this years’ awards?” He threw me a fake disappointed look. “It is with a great honor that I Sean Bean reveal the names of these year’s nominees for best movie” He cleared his throat. “Awesome Movie by Stiles Davies”

Even when it was a stupid game, I had to hide my blushed smirk behind a glass of water.

“And Awesomest Movie by Derek Matthews”

I couldn’t believe he said that. Actually it got me by surprise and I laughed so hard that the water exploded out of my mouth and part of my nose and splashed all over his face.

Derek laughed and wiped his face clean with a smug expression. “And the winner is Aw…I’m sorry. The winner was Mr. Davies but I’m afraid that apart from spitting over the host’s face we have recently discovered that Mr. Davies made a crappy movie when he was at school”

“A crappy movie?” I chortled. “Thank god you didn’t see the ones I made with Mr. Matthews”

Derek squinted at me “Come and say that to my face”

“What? You wanna piece of me Mr. Matthews?” I replied haughtily and approached him like a gangster. 

Before I could react I was flying over the air on his arms and landing over the couch while his swift fingers ran around my body like an army of millions of spiders tickling every vulnerable spot until my laughs filled the air and his joined too all aloud.

I started to choke and my cheeks burned and my belly wouldn’t stop going up and down quickly and I fought his hands with mine but he was too fast and actually I didn’t want him to stop. It felt so good. But it wasn’t right, none of it was, but I didn’t care I was letting go hypnotized by ringing of his laughs, mines and our guest’s.

Derek’s hand stopped violently and a shiver ran down my spine as I sat in the couch and looked up to a very amused Kyle that looked at us from the doorframe of the back-store.

Derek turned and said hi to Kyle in a very straight way which reminded me that they still hadn’t talk about the way Derek treated him the other day and after Kyle polity replied he went to the front door to check if the clients from that day appoint where already there.

“Um… Hi” I said casually though…Come one. It was hard to play casual when you’re trying to ignore the massive boner you got between your legs.

“Um…. Hi” Kyle said mocking my tune. He sucked a breath and approached me. “I think I came in the right time”

I giggled and bit my bottom lip. “Why…Why do you say that?”

He arched both brows and went to the coach to sit next to me as I moved slightly away from him to prevent my bulge to be noticed.

“I thought you were mad at me or something. And actually I kind of came imagining you would tell me off or something…I don’t know”

“Why…Why would I do that?”

Kyle frowned. “Didn’t…Didn’t you received my texts this past week?”

What did it have to do with the conversion? “Um…Yeah…”

“Oh…” He let out awkwardly. “Well…I guessed you were mad after um…You didn’t reply the four texts asking why you weren’t answering the other texts”

Oh…I giggled. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to I just had a pretty busy week and I just came home to…”

“No, no, no, no, it’s okay. I shouldn’t have assumed that…”

Oh my…Wait a second. Kyle was concerned I was mad at him because I didn’t answer his texts and he was freaking out about it? That seemed like something a –cough, all, cough- guy could do to me.

“I’m really sorry Eric. I thought I have told you I would find a free day for us to sit and try your audition, I’m just so...”

“No, wait” He rose both hands up to his chest. “I’m not talking about auditions Stily. Really. I mean, I was just you know texting like the days before I came back here you know?”

Like before he came back? Yeah, now that I think about it we kind of chatted a lot those days.

“I just…” He paused. “I feel a like you’re distant”

I froze. What was going on with him?

I squinted. “Eric? Are you sick or something?”

He chuckled though he looked a bit hurt. “I’m serious!”

“Sorry”

“I mean. We used to see each other a lot, and we basically spoke the whole day, but things are changing, you’re not the same Stily”

I wished he was right, but last time I brushed my teeth I stilled looked the same.

I cleared my throat. Of course he was massively overreacting, thought he got some truth in his words. I have accidentally neglected our _“friendship”_ In the past days due work, and Derek issues, and Derek issues in a romantic way, so yeah. He was right, what I wasn’t expecting was for him to act that way. I mean, if it wasn’t because I knew he was very heterosexual I would have thought he was making a scene about fearing I might break up with him.

Of course I wasn’t breaking up with him, because to break up with someone, first you must date them, and plus I needed Kyle for my project and plus plus, he was a motherfucker I wouldn’t buy his I miss you shit. He let very clear two months ago that he thought I was drooling over him and that he was going to play with me.

“I’m sorry” I replied with a sincere smile while I thought all the stuffs you just read. “I’m going to make it up to you”

Yeah. Call it karma or whatever, but life owed me that. How many times Isaac said the same words to me? He was always making up the making ups of whatever we had. So, to be honest. It felt right to be in the other side for once.

“What I don’t make it up for you by letting you audition for me tomorrow?”

His face lit and he nodded frantically. “Really? You think I could play Damian?”

I stopped short because I knew very well where this was going. “Eric…”I started trying to be empathic. He sucked at acting, he knew he sucked at acting, he knew I knew he sucked at acting so if I gave him Damian at that easily he would suspect that something was off. “Maybe…”

“Look” He stopped me and grabbed me by the shoulders. “I can do it. I understand you might be concerned of working with me again after what happened last time, but I promise…”

“Eric. You read the script. Damian is complex. He has a many scenes where…”

“I’ll make you cry. I can do it. I know I can do it. Just give me a chance okay?”

I chugged. “Fine, but if I don’t like it, you won’t have the part”

“I wouldn’t expect less from you. You are a professional and I’ll respect your decision”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then” I said nodding to him.

“I’ll bring some tissues for you, in case you feel like crying,” He joked and went to the front.

I rest my shoulder on the doorframe as I saw him leave with that silly smile on his face and I couldn’t help feeling mad at myself. Now that saw him that way, I couldn’t help feeling weird about the fact Allison and he kissed. When it happened I didn’t hesitate to kick Allison’s butt out of my life and almost completely from Derek’s, she just went in now just the necessary for Derek to don’t suspect, but with Eric… There wasn’t a payout, he was free, I didn’t call him a slut or anything, of course I couldn’t have done it for the sake of the project, but still…I wasn’t even slightly mad at him, actually deep inside was looking after tomorrow after the needy and hurt words he said minutes ago to me. It was all too confusing.

“What did he want?” Derek showed up at the door.

I shook my head. “Nothing. Just act in a fake movie I’m supposed to be recording instead of the project”

Derek cracked in laughs. “Did you hear what you just say?”

“What?” I squinted at him.

“This is going to explode in your face at any moment, you know?”

“Relax, it’ll be okay”

“Yeah? What will happen when you never start the movie?”

“I’m going to reject him Derek. He’s a crappy actor, he would never get a part in one of my movies”

“Come one… You’re easy to convince”

I creased my face outraged. “I am not. Do you remember the coders offered me to join their evil clique on first year? I said no even when everyone loved them by then because of that crappy attempt of a Harry Potter fan movie”

Derek rolled his eyes. “You don’t know how to say no”

“Of course not”

“Yeah? Then why did you let me down with the models when those girls showed up?”

 _To stay away from you at least for a while._ “Because it was a great chance”

“You were complaining about that great chance just minutes ago, Sire” He said again with his British accent.

Crap. He was right. “I wasn’t complaining I just...”

“I bet you will give him the part”

“I won’t Derek! I told you already! There won’t be a movie, and even if there was, I would never give him the leading role”

Funny thing is that Kyle actually had the lead role in the project which was real not like Damiantia that was fake.

“I wouldn’t be so certain Mr. Davies, he knows your weak-spot after all”

“Weak-spot?”

“You say yes to anything when you’re under a tickle attack”

“I…” I stopped short. “That’s not true!”

Wrong answer

In less than a second I was on my back onto the couch and Derek was on top of me again.

“Let…Me…Go!” I said between gasps.

“Not until you admit that…You admit anything in this state”

“That…Would…Make…No…Sense…”

“Oh yeah?”

“Derek…I’m serious!”

This was getting out of control. My boner was back, even quicker than the first. It wasn’t good. All the steps I walked away from him just vanished away and I felt this odd connection again and even stronger than before, and I wanted to stay like this forever, I was laughing so hard and enjoining it so much that he was right. He could have told me to admit I still I had feelings for him and I wouldn’t have hesitated to say yes.

“Derek…Someone…Might…Come…”

“No…The Bakery store have some meetings and cancelled…They are coming tomorrow”

Good. I didn’t feel like taking pictures that day. I would rather lay on the coach and pee my pants for laughing too much.

“We should go on an Oscar’s day” He said stopping at last.

I was still laughing when he let go so I needed a minute before getting what he said.

An Oscars day is when Derek and I are bored and go to the movies from morning till late night and watch all the functions and at the end of the day we pick the one that sucked less.

It was a great idea, so I had to say no…I don’t know how to explain it but all my progress was vanishing, it was as if Derek was a flu, I could feel crawling right up to my heart and there was nothing I could do about it.

“We can’t. If someone comes and the studio is closed”

“They can write to our mail”

“Is not professional!”

“Relax”

“No Derek” I cut short.

“What?” He arched a brow and rose his hands as preparing for another attack.

I recoiled already laughing even when he hadn’t touch me and he hurried to reach closer.

He was so childish, and silly, and dumb and…Oh God! I needed help! Seriously. I was becoming insane because of him. I had to stop it. I had to get out that night, I needed to meet someone new. I had get Derek out of my system before I lost him for good.

I felt his long fingers on my chest and hurried to rise my hand.

“Okay, okay. Stop. I’ll do it”

Derek stood and prepared to close the store. “See? I told you. You say yes to anything I ask when I’m tickling you”

I glared at him and turned to blush right when my phone buzzed with a text from Eric.

“Forgot to tell you. Today we’re opening the season. Kristie make it and I thought you could come to see me”

I turned to Derek who flipped the sign again to the sleeping bear and then watched again the text and chugged.

…….

The game wouldn’t start until later that day, yet the coach texted them early so they could practice a bit more to leave up high Oakwood’s name now that they were champions.

Jim was the last to make it to the field, except for the coach of course though he wasn’t mad. Actually he was pleased because the man told them to bring their gear already for they would stay until the game started.

Jim walked in ignoring everyone sitting in the middle of the grass waiting for the coach and he had to make an effort to don’t let himself fall into Kev’s provocations.

Instead he went straight to the locker room to leave the bag with his uniform along with the rest as he smiled for himself pleased.


	9. PAS DE DEUX

# PAS DE DEUX

When the sun hit me right in the pupils after closing the door. I was still smiling like a fool, though it couldn’t last, because I couldn’t play Oscar’s day with Derek that afternoon. It was too risky. Being almost twelve hours locked in a completely dark room with him after all the things that I had been experiencing lately and what just happened twenty minutes ago in the studio… I know myself and I’m sure that if I would have gone with him I would have found the way to sit next to a cute girl and then swap chairs with her when he didn’t notice and then…Alright too much information, what matters here is that my hormones and I couldn’t be alone with him for a while, at least not for that day. My brain was scrambled and the weird fusion of happiness and uneasiness didn’t allow me to tell my heart from my stomach.

“So… I was thinking we could start with the Marvel movie”

“Marvel, uh?” I arched a brow in a mocking way while in my insides… _Fuck, fuck, fuck! Stop being so nerdy cute! Damn it!_

“What’s? You know you like those movies too, even when you say you don’t”

And he threw me one of his –I-know-you-better-than-yourself glances and I rolled my eyes.

“I…Can’t go, Derek. Sorry”

He arched a brow. “Why? You have a date?” Okay, it was rude from him to use that condescending tone.

“I wish” I joked thought I was hurt by his words. “No I just… Kyle told me they are opening the season today and it is an important day because they are the champions…Blah, blah, blah. It’s been a while since I’ve seen Jim or the rest of the betches”

Derek scoffed. “Kyle didn’t say anything about a game in the store”

I frowned as we crossed the street and I thought about it. Yeah, Kyle told me about the game, it just…Wasn’t in the…

“He sent me a text” I said rising my phone as we reached the sidewalk.

“Really?” He said with some mistrust.

“What? You don’t believe me?” I squinted at him.

He blinked twice. “Of course I believe you, why wouldn’t I? You’re acting weird, you know?” He joked.

I swallowed and giggled. I felt tense. What happened with all the joy from just half an hour before?

I shook my head. Maybe I was just taking everything too seriously. “I’m acting weird? You’re acting weird” Chuckled. “Asking me to show my texts”

“Did I ask you to show me the _text?”_

I gaped. “Why _text?_ And not just text?”

“I’m not empathizing” He squinted.

“Yes! You are! You don’t believe me”

“Stiles. Why are you so mad? It is just a stupid text”

“If it so stupid why you don’t believe it doesn’t exist. Can’t someone ask me to hang out sometime? Is that so hard to believe?”

He shook his head. “I’m not saying that. You’re making a big deal about not wanting to go out with me and making up excuses!”

I… “What?” I stopped to a halt. “I’m not making up excuses, and why I wouldn’t want to hang out with you when we live, study and work together, and this feels like we’re…” Oh crap. No. I couldn’t say that. Thank God my voice trailed off before I said something I could regret. But seriously? How he dared to accuse me of being avoiding him? Well…Better said, how did he know so fast that I was avoiding him? I thought I was being subtle.

Shit.

“Then I get it!” He said dryly. “All that thing with those girls the other day, couldn’t you just schedule an appointment for them? Like we do with all of our customers? No! You just left and abandoned me with a very important and rich client to just go to fool around with your camera”

Well. When you put it that way. I kind of sounded like an ass.

“I thought… I thought we have sorted this out” I frowned.

“We didn’t even talk about it! You just acted like nothing happened three days later”

I rolled my eyes.

“Then you moved”

“Where? My bed! Fuck! What’s is wrong with you? I just want to hang out with my friends”

“That’s exactly the problem” Derek looked at me disappointed. “It’s been a while since we had a break and we both had the same idea, hang out with friends. Just didn’t realize…”

I shook my head outraged. “Go to the movies Derek. I’ll be back later and we can see the last one together, okay? I’m out of here”

I didn’t let him finish. As soon as I saw a cab I climbed up to stay away from him. This was going truly wrong. Derek was getting into freaking psycho best friend sooner than expected and how my feelings were messing with me that day I just couldn’t stay near him, it would be disastrous. I had to save ourselves. Oh God! He was supposed to be like this in two or three months! When I have chilled out so I could handle it. But now? Now, I had to take a breath and stay away from him at least for a couple of hours or else I would kiss him and tell him how much I loved him and that he could have all the time he wanted from me and you know how much that would ruin my life.

I needed a psychiatrist.

……

It had been thirty-five minutes since Jim arrived in the field and still there weren’t any news about the coach. Everyone was very tense about the events of the day before, so no one dared to take the lead and boss around the rest of the team. Instead everyone just sat silently apart from the others.

“How much long you think he can hold it back?” Asked Aidan in a mocking tone as they saw the yellowish grass from the burning bleachers.

Jim wiped the sweat from his forehead clean and tilted his head to him with listlessness. “What?”

“Kev” Aidan said on muffled voice as he pointed with his eyes toward Paul’s gang where Kev had a mocking grin that resembled Jim’s and his pupils were fixed on him.

Jim scoffed and continued watching the grass to wither.

“Paul’s been acting weird” Aidan pointed out after what left like an hour.

“Yeah. I don’t care” Replied Jim suffocated by the extreme heat. “Do we really have to play in this state? We’re going to die”

“The more I think about yesterday, the less I get”

“Are you even listening to me?” Jim complained glaring at him.

“You’re the one who isn’t listening! Paul is acting weird since yes…No. Actually he’s acting weird since the championship, but after we won he was okay, until yesterday”

Jim scoffed. “You should open a detective’s agency. You should call it Agatha Creepy”

“I’m surprised you know about Agatha Christie” Aidan chortled.

“I’m surprised I still can surprise you”

Aidan snorted. “Now, seriously. What do you think is going on with him?”

“Why do you care? Are you in love with him?” He teased as he arched a suggestive brow to his friend.

“No. He broke my heart. Now I’m deeply in love with you” Aidan joked and they both laughed and Jim felt his cheeks burning, thought he was sure it wasn’t because of the sun. To hide it he cocked his head again toward the morons of the team and his eyes quickly felt Kev’s but then he got what Aidan meant, Paul’s weren’t there.

Paul was sitting a couple of inches away from his friends checking on his phone and not really paying attention to what was going on in there, and actually…Yesterday he didn’t seem very active either regarding teasing and calling Jim…

Someone cleared his throat behind them and Jim’s heart skipped a beat. He didn’t have to turn, to know it was him. He could feel him there and milliseconds before he felt his cologne. It had been a while since the last time he wore it. Catching the scent after a while brought Jim back to the days they were knowing each other, to the late night’s practices, the remarks of how intriguing Jim was for him. Memories of that time when the naïve boy was marveled by the school’s bad boy.

Jim’s shook the feeling away from his head and spun arching an inquisitive brow when his eyes met Sam’s.

“Can we…Um…Talk?”

Jim frowned with mistrust. “Okay. Talk”

“I mean. We both alone”

“Oh. I feel like I’m not wanted here” Aidan said with mocking tone as he stood and bowed before Jim. “I’ll be just a thought away in case you need me milady”

Jim glared at him and contained himself from kicking his butt down from the bleachers. He had to hold on a bit longer and it would be over.

“I’m sorry if I interrupted something” Jack said sternly.

“Cut it off okay. What do you want?” Reply Jim dryly.

Sam’s expression hardened a bit after hearing Jim’s words. “I just wanted to say that Paige wants to move the kids next week and told me to ask you to drive them there”

Jim softened the thin line on his lips. “So. She made the decision regarding the other two without even asking us”

“It is…It isn’t up to us to decide, James. She is in charge of them and she is doing what she thinks is the best”

“I know” Jim nodded. “I just don’t like to be left out”

“I wish things could be easier, but this is the best we can do right now” Jack recognized and Jim could see themselves the other day talking passionately about their plans for future.

He pressed his eyes shut. “Thanks, now if that’s all…”

“No, wait” Jack stopped him. “I…Wanted to give you an advice”

Jim scoffed amused. “Really? What could it possibly be?”

“Keep your things at low, okay?”

“And for my things you mean…?”

“Laying here with your…With Kirk, playing those games you think you are playing together, the milady stuff. Kevin and Paul have their eyes on you. And I know it isn’t my business but they might be planning on doing something to you and I…”

“And you think that if they I do, then I deserve it for…What’s the word you used yesterday?”

“You know that’s not what I meant” Jack replied angrily. “Why lately you use everything against me and try to make me look like the bad guy?”

Jim snorted outraged.

“Is everything alright, here milady” Aidan approached them with his usual mocking tone, but Jim could feel some edge on his words and decided he have had enough.

 _Hold on a bit longer betch._ He told to himself and pulled of Aidan’s wrist away from Sam. “Let’s go. Sir Tinysword”

Aidan chuckled. “How did you call me? FYI, I…”

“Shut up and keep walking. I’m really done with everyone in this team”

“You shouldn’t be so hard on him” Aidan pointed out. “Even when he’s a jerk, he’s concerned about you”

Jim sat and stared at him with a shocked expression. “Where is this coming from? If I’m not wrong, you were about to give him grass for lunch” -

Aidan stared at the sky with a pensive look. “That’s what he wants” He replied with quietness.

“What do you mean?” Jim asked not getting his point.

“Never mind” Aidan replied quietly as he breathed in the dry hot air and Jim sat next to him to keep waiting for the coach to arrive.

……

Once in the cab. I let myself take a breath to realize that there wasn’t any reason for me to pick a cab. It was very early and of course the game wouldn’t start right there, so Derek could suspect, to not mention that the field was just steps away from us. Damn! That’s what happens when you act out of your emotions. You just give yourself off.

The driver kept his eyes on me through the mirror, and then I realized that since I got in just to stay away from Derek I still didn’t let him know where I was going.

After meditating a bit I asked him to drive to the mall. It would be a great choice. It had been a while since the last time I went to shopping and if I really wanted to get a boyfriend that night I needed to look stunning.

Yeah. I know what you thinking. This sounded like a bad idea, but come on! I needed to find someone to keep my mind busy to stop thinking about Derek in a romantic way, either way I was going to the club, the gay club. So…No chance my new boyfriend would be an Hhb. Even when I was scared as hell once I found someone I felt comfortable with it all would vanish. I would be fine and things could finally start to calm down inside of me. It was a killer plan. I just had to endure a bit of uneasiness for a while.

I had to do it for us.

Once in the mall, the first thing I noticed was the amount of cute guys around. It was breathtaking and you had to see me drooling around. Of course people were gathering there. It was the afternoon of the beginning of summer’s last weekend. The town was crowding again and the now you could see handsome boys anywhere you looked.

While I was stalking a couple of hot guys near the fountain I couldn’t help noticing their outfits. Yes. I know I should have called Liam to help me on this, but it wasn’t a good idea, because the moment he knew what I was planning he would start asking questions. Maybe not about Derek, but definitely he would want me to join me in the club and I didn’t want any chaperone or some reason to keep myself on a table the whole night running my chances to save my relationship with my best friend. And can you see that? Even when I was thinking about getting a new romantic interest in my very twisted romantic comedy of a life, all I was thinking about was Derek.

I had to put an end to it.

After doing some research of what guys called cool and attractive, I tried to turn their sober fashion into a night one that I could wear in the club. I didn’t want to look too lavish or else people would think I was an arrogant asshole so apart from picking one thing from a store and other from other I asked the tenders some help to get that cool and relaxed look I needed to turn in my attitude too.

When I was satisfied when my new clothes, I went to a restaurant to have dinner and realized that it was late afternoon.

How…How in the hell I lost near five hours in that place? I don’t know, the fact is that the sun was about to hide and the club would soon be open. Since it was the last weekend of summer there would probably be a special party that night. Crowded place, tons of guys and a soon to be engaged Stiles ready to dance.

Not literally of course.

I was doubtful about getting into my room when I made it back to Oakwood. Part of me was concerned about finding a mad Derek sitting in his bed with his arms crossed asking about the clothes. The other part was craving for him to do so, so I could tell him all the truth and he could get mad and tell me I wouldn’t get any boyfriend because he was the only one I could have. That wouldn’t happen in a millions years though.

He wasn’t there. It was a disappointment but I got it over quickly when I looked through the window and saw the night falling upon me. My heart started to pounder slow but violently and I felt lightheaded.

Derek was in the movies of course and he wouldn’t be back anytime soon so I tested the lasagnas he left in my desk for me –I hate him- and went to take a bath.

 _Tonight is the night._ I told myself as I crossed my fingers and undressed before the shower.

…….

“What are you doing with your asses in the bench? If I didn’t need most of you in the field you, you all would be sitting the rest of the season” Growled the coach when he finally made it into the field after the longest wait in history of the man.

No one said a thing though. None of them even dared to look at him in the eyes. The only brave enough to do it was Jim, who stared defiantly just to notice how swollen were the bags under his eyes.

“Now move all your asses to the field! The game will start in no time and if we lose today you are all out. I would rather start over and train a new bunch of fools and keep standing your lazy asses”

 _Here we go._ Thought Jim rolling his eyes.

“Sir. Wouldn’t it be bad if we train so close to the game? We would be exhausted” Said Garret.

“You should have thought about that before doing nothing the whole afternoon! Now you will train as if your life depends on it and then you will win that game. You hear me?”

Everyone complained silently except for Jim who nodded. “Understood. We will make you proud” He said with a grin as his fellow teammates glared at him.

That’s how the training session started. Everyone went to their place in the field which meant that Kev would be at the goal busy protecting it. Paul was near him and no one else said a thing. All Jim had to do was to stay away from the goal until it was time for the real game to start.

So he trained hard, up until the sun hid, he entertained himself making Aidan and Jack look like fools. The coach yelled at them a couple of times because even when they were in the same team they kept stealing the ball from the other’s feet when it was time to face Jim.

It was funny. Jim enjoyed the session because he could feel how Sam’s vein was pounding and he could swear he heard his heart hammering his chest. He was furious because Jim was fast as a lightning and we he finally got a chance with the ball Jim was quick enough to block him.

It was hilarious of how everything turned about Kyle and Jim. Everyone in Sam’s team seemed pretty much pissed off because they couldn’t penetrate Jim’s barrier, not even Aidan and things turned so easy for them in the end that Garret and Alan grew bored and started to voice-over the events until Jack exploded last time Jim blocked him and took off his shirt threw it over the grass and went into the locker room.

After watching what just happened the coach didn’t even bother to say anything to Jack thought you could see how purplish his skin had turned because of the rage, but now that things were less tense and Jim could relax enough to pace around the field he could easily tell that apart from the laziness of the team, something else was bothering him.

“Alright. That’s enough. Taylor, Saunders good job. New kid don’t think you can be the funny guy that suddenly. Don’t wanna kick your butt out that fast. Everyone get into the showers, we got forty minutes before the game starts”

Jim grabbed the ball and smiled at it pleased as he followed Kyle and Aidan to the locker room.

“You’re showering in here too James?”

Jim froze and after two steps Aidan and Kyle stopped and looked back at him as if waiting for him to do something.

Jim thought about his option and decided to nod. “If I go home I won’t make it here at time”

“How convenient” Kev chortled. “I bet you were looking forward to it”

“You have no idea” Jim replied with a grin as he turned toward him.

“It will be your dream come true. Locked in a room with a bunch naked guys” He added in mocking voice.

Jim arched a brow. “It was my dream when I was five. Now I want something else” He said with a suggestive voice and winked at Kev as he made an obscene gesture with his fingers and his tongue.

Kev’s face reddened and then Jim turned toward Paul who was conveniently silent and steps away from his friend.

“That’s enough. Get your asses in the showers now!”

Without saying anything else Jim joined Aidan and Kyle and continued his way into the locker room. When he got inside he instantly felt the stinging of Sam’s eyes on him who was sitting on a bench with arms crossed and still all muddy and sweaty from the practice.

Jim sat at the opposite wall without saying a word. He wasn’t stupid enough to get into the shower with half of the team hating him. Instead he just awaited for the game to start while Jack and him had an awkward staring contest.

…….

Alright. Search for your favorite bitching song and hit play because my night was just starting and I wasn’t Stiles anymore but the flirting machine.

The driver left me outside the club and I climbed down with cool and condescending face as I paid the man and made signs the bouncer to let me it.

When the double doors opened for me, those day’s top party song hit me I felt like a movie star walking into a premiere being chased by paparazzi and hysterical fans. Of course no one was looking at me or paying attention and even when it was very early the place was very much crowded as for anyone to look at me. Normally the clubs start to get customers at eleven but since it was the end of summer, I guess people was desperate to live in seventy-two hours what they didn’t do in one month.

I sneakily checked my outfit and haircut in the mirrors around. I wasn’t proud of how looked, but it was only because it wasn’t my style. I didn’t’ look bad. Well, I guess I didn’t. I was wearing what guys used to wear by then, the problem was that I didn’t feel like myself. But it had to be something good.

I made a quick scan of the place which was almost impossible because of the amount of flesh swaying. The only easy men to stare at in the club were the go-go dancers in the corners. The rest became ghosts to the eyes due the music, lights and smoke.

I breathed in the raw stench of alcohol, cigarettes and sex and let it blend with the music in my mind to turn me into the ultimately confident party machine.

“Jerry. It’s be a while since last time I saw you”

I smiled pleased. “You know my name is not Jerry, Dray”

“Where is the rest of your criminal minion friends?” He asked as he poured a Cosmo for me.

I nodded at him as a thank you and sipped. “You know them. They are busy being a bunch of sluts” I added in a funny voice as I rolled my eyes and looked at the guy sitting next to me in the bar.

He stared at me half a second, took the drink that Dray was handling him and walked off.

 _Bah. Boring old man._ I thought with a smirk on my lips as something slightly bitter burned me inside.

“So. You want another?” Dray asked but I wasn’t paying attention. My eyes were on a lonely guy on a table that saw the others dancing a bored expression.

I didn’t have time to lose. It was like a gift from heaven. I sipped the rest of my drink at once and hurried to approach him as I shyly moved hands up and my hips to the beat of the music to don’t look like a freak in front of the rest of the guys around.

 _Smile! Smile widely!_ I told myself I sat in front in the table of the lonely guy. “Hi”

“Hi” He replied and smiled back.

_We got a smile! We got a smile everyone!_

“So…What…?” _Shit. What should I say now? Damn it! I didn’t think about it before coming here. What you can talk or ask to a random person you don’t even know? Why people even do that? It feels like kind of….Focus Stiles, Focus! Oh I know. Ask him why he isn’t dancing, he’ll say he doesn’t like it you’ll say you neither and he will smile, you will smile too and you will get married. Great plan! Thanks! You’re welcome._

I cleared my throat. “So…Um…Why a….”

“Take” I heard someone say I looked and a guy just joined us and handled a drink to my boy who grabbed it and stood to vanish in the crowd.

Damn it.

It wasn’t going to be as easy as I thought.

.......

Alright, there was no coming back for Jim. The coach’s voice boomed all around the locker room giving them a shitty inspirational speech about how important it was for the university to have won their first championship and how suddenly it became a priority to keep the trophy another year, which meant that they couldn’t lose the first game in the season or they would be humiliated and winning the championship would have been for nothing.

As if anyone gave a shit about it. They just wanted it to be over to go back home and sleep like for two days. Their skin have been severely burned. They were hungry and tired and plus Jim didn’t bath so everyone was looking at him with some disgust and Aidan even said he smelled like Kev’s socks, but Jim didn’t pay attention. He wouldn’t be staying anyway.

“Now get your butts out of here and make me feel proud of you again!”

Jim and the rest of the exhausted team walked out of the locker room right to the middle of the field. When they came out a deafening roar meet them and even when it couldn’t be compared to Sunset’s championship, it got some chills on his nape. A lot of people from Oakwood came to support them, now that they were campus celebrities everyone knew when their games were and assisted even when there were other things they could spend their time on.

Jim would never understand humanity,

When everyone was on their places, someone turned on the lights of the field and all people shielded their faces and Jim felt a bit disoriented he couldn’t even make out from where came the voices chanting his name, but he managed to figure out they were Liam, Freddy and Derek’s.

Jim’s eyes adjusted to the intense brightness and for a second he felt like those days in the secret private training sessions with Sam. Once again those days were coming back along with his scent and when he turned he found him right behind him frowning. He snorted and turned toward Eric.

The referee blew his whistle and everything went mad.

Seriously mad.

Even the captain of the bees had to stop from running away with the ball just to turn and stare at Eric.

Everyone was doing it because Kyle was now wearing a skirt.

Well. It wasn’t a skirt exactly. The fabric in the middle of his short pants ripped off and now everyone could see his boxers, even when he was utterly embarrassed he managed to enjoy the attention as he coach made signs to the referee to pause the game and then he hurried to approach him.

The man went to the middle of the field and whispered something to Eric’s ear. Jim guessed he was probably telling him to find a pair in the locker room, but it would be useless.

Kyle came back ten seconds later just to let him know that the only extra pairs where the ones he was using on training that…. Surprise!, weren’t part of the official uniform. The Coach lost his head and sent him to the bench replacing him with Alan who walked in hesitantly while everyone stared still as rocks.

When the referee blew the whistle everyone focused their eyes on Alan who took advantage of the confusion to steal the ball and right away without any incident. The rest of the wolves ran after him to aid him but stopped short.

Suddenly all the wolves were wearing skirts and Jim smiled pleased, especially because Paul wasn’t wearing underwear.

…....

I always thought that flirting was all about being hot. But everyone, -especially Derek- never missed the chance to tell me it was a matter of attitude, and I guess he was kind of right. Because before college he was another nerdy boy that somehow managed to get a few girls in his bed. Of course everything changed for him when he turned into a nerdy-jock and now everywhere he went girls looked at him with heart-shaped eyes.

That’s the thing. He wasn’t wrong but neither was I, because even when it is true that it doesn’t matter if you look like fast-food as long as you taste as a gourmet-dish.  That psychologists’ rule has its exceptions.

I felt awesome, I mean. I was on my eight Cosmo. Something about it said to me _“Look at you man! You are cool, you are hot, you’re wearing that expensive suit, your haircut is so fashion, and you are so top. Just dance and enjoy”_ And I was dancing and enjoying, though…Instead of being gourmet  I looked like something cooked by myself but even when I might have tasted good, people normally don’t eat things that look like vomit and that was the problem with that night and that’s the problem with the self-help shit they try to sell you all the campaigns, that at some point you really start to believe in their words and you say yeah, I’m good-looking and then, you meet reality and people reminds you that having gourmet ingredients doesn’t mean you don’t look like you mixed them all in a blender and now you’re trying to make them drink the thing that isn’t a thing but a person. A person whose feelings are being shattered because you dared to believe that leagues weren’t real after all.

Waiting for someone to say hi? It was even more humiliating. To see the time pass by along with the people. 

I tried everything I could think of, I just couldn’t come up with something seriously cool to make people to feel interested in meeting me.

You see that cute guy with the square jaw that is laughing in such attractive way to whatever his friends are telling to him? Well I approached him. Yeah, while you were watching Jim turn the soccer team into a ballet class I sauntered around keeping it cool and said hi to him and he just ignored me, I thought that maybe he didn’t listen because the music was so loud so I came directly to him, looked at him in the eyes and said Hi and he just stared at me as if waiting for me finally speak even when I just did it.

It was scary and humiliating. I never had to face the situation in which I intentionally decided to face that kind of treatment or the looks or laughs of his friends when he left, but I couldn’t just give up! I had to keep trying, I couldn’t be a failure, there had to be a person in the universe that could find me attractive. I know I wasn’t an eye-candy, but at least someone had to be interested in me, at least someone in there had to find me slightly attractive. Right?

Please?

And I walked. The guy with the piercing in the brow, the one with the tight pants, the fat guy that was making fun of everything, the awkward daddy trying to catch his next victim, the showy guy, the just-turned eighteen type, the lonely one, the one that had those beautiful eyes that made you think he was handsome inside-out.

Silence. Have you ever felt silence in a club? Is something hard to perceive considering the music and how everyone talked out-loud but silence chased me. The lights were going off the music was muffling around me and the bodies vanished along with everything else. I felt like being exposed in a cage, I could feel like everyone was watching me, as if it was some kind of twisted joke and they couldn’t wait for me to give up to crack their laughs.

I went to the bathroom and washed my face in the sink as I ignored the moaning coming from the four toilets behind me. I put some water in my nape and accepted the reality. No one in the club wanted to date me, have a quickie, kiss, met, or anything related to me. They didn’t know me, they hadn’t hear my voice before and didn’t know who I was. It was just that. It was all his fault.

The guy looking at me at the other side of the mirror.

I couldn’t stand it anymore. I just washed my face, sucked a breath and went out of the bathroom. It would be better to stay at bed than spend another second in that place.

I gave one last hopeful look around and someone pushed me.

I felt on the floor and someone stepped in my hand. I groaned and looked up trying to find the motherfucker but it was impossible to know who was it considering that there was a sea of persons running and the lights suddenly went off.

My heart-skipped a beat and for a moment a mass-shooting, zombies, kidnapping, terrorism. Everything crossed my mind. I hurried to stand and then I heard cries and swears and a voice on a megaphone ordering everyone out.

“Everyone please leave the installations”

What was going on? My heart was racing and I starting to get into panic. Considering the crappy day I have had, I just hoped I could just leave without any issues. Either way I had nowhere else to go. I had to follow the rest of the guys out. In my way there I could hear all kind of whispering and an outraged Drag queen who was standing in front of me, kept saying to everyone that they were taking people with them.

That put me on edge, but I didn’t have chance to turn on my hills and get back inside, before I noticed I was outside the club and the lights of the surrounding buildings were blinding me. A hand immobilized me and I shrieked and tried to break free in panic.

“Stay quiet” An older man’s voice commanded with anger as I felt an extra pair of hands touching all my body and dinging into all the pockets of my pants and jacket. I know I wanted someone to explore my body that night, but come on! That was ridiculous.

“He’s clean” Someone said from my waist and the man released me pushing me out of his way.

I managed not to fall by finding the lamppost with my hands and kept hearing the ringing of voices shushing and people watching around the street. There were patrols and sirens and cries. People were cursing and others calling the officers names as they dragged them into the patrols.

“That wasn’t mine! You planted me! That’s illegal” I heard a voice said just steps away.

“Oh my god! They are doing it” Someone else said. I was so overwhelmed for that have happened that I had no chance to think clearly.

I saw hands pointing in horror to the club’s double doors and saw a tall man in a white suit trying to push the cop that was pasting a sign in the doors that read _“Closed indefinitely”_ What? That wasn’t fair! That was my gay club! I met the betches there! How they could do that?

“You can’t do this to me!” The guy being dragged into the patrol kept yelling. “I don’t do those things! You planted me. You’re going to pay for this”

“Shut up!” Someone said and then I heard the boy pant and some people insult the cop that was being shielded by other three officers that had their hands in their belts in a threatening way however there was room enough for me to see that it was Dray who they were arresting.

I stepped back astonished. I…Had seen enough.

The street was packed with people picking cabs, so it would be useless to even try to get one. I walked one week in opposite direction of the club as more and more people walked there to see what was going on and I just cursed in my insides watching Dray’s frightened face in my mind.

I saw some cabs at the other side of the street, so I decided to cross and a pair of lights blinded and then I heard the screeching of breaking tires.

I squinted with my chest pounding by the impression as the owner of the car climbed down of the car and approached me.

…….

The ringing of the laugher filled the field. Everyone you looked you could see people chocking on their breaths as they pointed at Jim’s team mates that stared all around confused.

“What…What is going on here?” The coach’s voice boomed from Jim’s right.

The wind swept them and now they had nine Marilyn Monroe trying to cover themselves. Yeah. Jim didn’t cut Garret’s shorts pants. He didn’t have to pay just because the rest of the guys were morons. Well if you thought about it he didn’t have to cut Alan, Kyle or Aidan’s, but it would be too suspicious if Kev, Jack and the rest had their asses exposed while they were perfectly good.

Speaking of Sam. I wished I had been there. I mean, his confused-embarrassed-frightened face was just too perfect to miss it. He froze as the wind blew exposing his black boxers which Jim was definitely not looking at

The coach’s face went quickly to the bees. And of course that would be the first idea anyone would have if they were part of a frat war’s movie. But since they weren’t… An enraged Kev was already sprinting toward Jim followed by Gary.

However, an still disoriented coach stood right in front of Jim clueless of what was about to happen but it was enough to stop Kev suddenly and their sudden approach only made the coach think they were gathering around him looking for help.

“Calm…Calm down!” The coach voiced as more and more angry wolves joined them but none of them paid attention to him. Everyone had their eyes on Paul who came walking slowly covering his parts as the people still laughed.

One second, two seconds, three seconds… Crap! That wasn’t part of the plan. Jim was starting to feel sorry for him, as he waddled covering his crotch with both hands. Jim was starting to feel sorry for him.

“Paul. Just run! They won’t see anything if you run fast!” He shouted and even when it made the people laugh harder, Paul listened and started to run very fast toward the circle gathering around the coach.

The ringing of the laughter intensified and Jim couldn’t help feeling like crap because even when he hated Paul it was a major humiliation something that could damage him for life and then…When he was half-way there, he just stopped. The chortles decreased considerably and now everyone all the eyes were on him. Expectant for his next move. Would have crumble? No.

He started to fool around. Making as much spins and jumps to expose as much of his genitals as they could see and now the laughs came back stronger, more disturbing and annoying than the first time, but the same way they started they ended. Someone people didn’t find it funny anymore, probably because Paul wasn’t suffering any longer.

Jim wanted to throw-up.

“Stop making the fool, boy” Said the coach sternly but not really hard when Paul finally joined them. Jim didn’t even dare to look at him.

“Why…” Started Alan but the coach cut him off.

“Whoever did this, consider yourself death” He sentenced and some eyes looked around as if trying to discover who did it, but of course…The other eighty percent simply craned their necks toward Jim.

“I’m guessing none of you brought spare-pants. I’ll have a chat with the referee and see what I can do”

He made signs to the referee to approach and they started to chat at scarce feet from them which was good because Jim’s team mates were preparing to chop his head off thought none of them said a thing.

It was a long and uncomfortable silence on which no one moved a muscle and all eyes stayed fixed on Jim’s short-pants.

Two minutes later the coach approached. “Alright I bought some time. I managed to reschedule the game for Monday” Said so Jim looked up to see that everyone was already leaving the field and then the coach spoke again. “But none of you can leave. First, we need to kill a rat”

…….

“Are…Are you okay?” He asked and I shrugged as a saw the muscular shadow approaching.

I only needed to see the shape of the guy to know he was hot a chili.

“I’m…I’m fine” I replied still a bit frightened by almost being run by the car.

“Are you sure?” He asked reaching closer and then he came into my field of view. I knew that voice.

It was Craig.

“What are you doing here?” I asked and he put a hand on my arm.

“I was…Is Tim with you?”

I rolled my eyes. “No, he isn’t. Look I have to go, okay?”

We heard cars horning at us from behind his car and he looked back and then looked at me. “Um…I can drive you home”

Hell to the no! “I’m fine thanks”

“Come one! Don’t be that rude it’s just a ride. Streets are flooded you won’t find a cab in a while”

More horns and without giving me the chance to refuse again he pulled of me gently and guided to his car. I sucked a breath and got in.

He went to the pilot’s seat and then he started the engine and drew away to later turn off the music and zigzag through the streets. “Man that got to be a killer party for the lot of people around”

“It was a party. They were closing the bar for good” I replied to not feel that much uncomfortable by being locked into the car of that ass. To be honest I felt pretty anxious, as far as I knew he might be planning one of his pranks. This couldn’t end well at all. 

However, I was wrong. He took the main street and made a comment about the weather. You didn’t have to have sensorial superpowers to know how uncomfortable was to be alone with the other. We didn’t have anything in common and even when he tried to be nice by starting a blatant conversation about school starting next Monday it died as soon as it started.

When we made into Oakwood, I just opened the door and without looking at him I thanked him. Yet, he wasn’t going to let me go that easy, because as soon as I set a feet in the street he pulled of my hand and hurried to close the door. My alarms picked up and I was sweating in no time. What he was going to do to me?

“Let…” I started to say but he cut me off.

“I…Can I ask you something?”

Okay, I relaxed a bit, but still felt in danger somehow. All I wanted was to get out of there, however I was curious about what he might want to ask me. You know what my mind was thinking. It was dark, it was that night and he was a guy, a hot guy, an idiot but a hot guy.

“What do you want?” I asked squinting at him though I could feel how my hands started to shake so I hid them between my thighs pretending I was freezing by the air conditioner. 

“I just…Wanted to know if you know Tim has said anything about me to you. That’s all”

Yeah. That was all. All my ideas and weird thoughts blew away and now I could think more clearly. Damn! Hormones are a bunch of dangerous bitches. Had Tim talked about him yet to me? Technically no. The videos were the ones that got the task of telling me everything about him and his turtle-neck of a twin brother Swindel, but of course they couldn’t know anything about.

“No” I said at once and opened the door but he closed it again.

“Wait…I… Look I need to talk to someone”

“What about your friends?” I asked wryly.

“My friends wouldn’t understand” He looked down.

“If your friends can’t get you and you need to ask a stranger to listen to you, I have bad news about your _‘friends’”_ I said sharply and no, don’t you dare to say that I was being a bitch with him, remember the fact that he was part of the video that started all this mess.

“Come on! Don’t be a dick, alright? I really need…I don’t know. Let this out”

“Your brother?” I arched a brow.

“He would be the last person in world I would tell” He said with remorse and now I could feel a speck of fear in his voice.

“I’m…” Ha! I almost said _“I’m sorry for you”_ yeah! Right. “Okay, tell me”

He looked at me with some mistrust, and I can’t blame him. I wasn’t being especially nice to him and it had to be very hard for him to open up to someone who despised him.

“Do…Do you remember the talk we had the other night?” He started casually.

“What night?” I asked a brow. “The night you left my friends at hands of a bunch of assholes who almost killed us, raped a poor girl and that by the way were your friends?”

His eyes exploded wide-open. I have to admit that I was a damn-brave boy because he could simply snap my neck and leave me in the parking lot, maybe I was crossing the line with him. “I’m…Forget what I said” I sucked a breath and so did he. “You were telling me that you were feeling weird and asking about how to know if someone’s gay giving off that you might be developing feelings for Tim. Okay, what happened now?”

He looked at me abashed and somehow the air went even tenser. “For you to know. It was me who called the cops and identify those guys. I’m not…I…I mean. I know I’ve been an asshole in the past to you, but that doesn’t mean I’m proud of everything I do or that I’m a bad person”

Oh…Low blow. I was definitely not expecting that.

“It doesn’t matter. The thing is that Tim had been avoiding me for a while, not only because of that but because I told him to fuck off because my girlfriend didn’t like me to hang out with him”

Hadn’t he break-up with his girl? Straight people, who can get them?

“I was under a lot of pressure. She started telling things to Swindel at my back, I had all these weird things in my mind apart from the attack and the way I told him to not look for me again. I was…I felt awful you know? This summer have sucked for me until last night when I went to see Tim after breaking-up with her for good”

Alright, prepare. Here comes the bomb. “Oh…You went after him and you kissed him!” I said shocked and Oh my god! It was like in the movies. How perfect! And cute! And…I know it was bad but I couldn’t help feeling envy from Tim. It was so perfect! Oh my…It was perfect for the project!

He shook his head. “I went to apologize for being a dick, he accepted my apologies but said he couldn’t simply pretend that nothing happened and that he couldn’t be friends with me anymore and I…”

“You kissed him!”

“No” He looked away and spoke again. “I started to cry. I don’t know, everything mixed in my mind, the break-up, the fact that I’m about to start my final year I feel like a failure, my brother asking questions, and not having him…I just needed to feel that at least something was okay in my life so I cried”

Oh. “Oh”

“And he kissed me”

Oh. “Oh”

“So….”

“So what?”

“Did you like it? That’s why you’re telling me all this, don’t you?”

“I…” He chugged. “I don’t know. I don’t know what I feel or what I felt, I’m…It is too much confusing”

“So…That’s why you went to the club tonight. To see if you feel gay or something?”

“Actually I don’t know why I went there. I guess that I needed to try another guy and see how it felt to know if something is really going on with me or I just mixed up everything”

“Let me see if I got it” I frowned. “Did you go to the club to kiss another guy to know if what you felt with Tim was real?” Damn he was twisted! And a slut!

He nodded.

“Um…Did it…Did it work?”

“I don’t know, yet” He murmured softly and before I realized he was on top of me circling my neck with his hands and my heart quivered while I backed looking for the handle of the door with my hand right on time to open it and close it behind me.

“What…What the hell are you doing?!” I said furious when my crown hit the floor and I quickly stood.

“What? I thought that’s what you wanted, don’t you?”

“What are you talking about?” I said confused, dazed, and angry and all the bad feelings you might image.

“You were looking for someone to hookup tonight. I saw you in the club!” He said with accusing eyes and someone now I felt like was some kind of criminal.

“Yeah. But I don’t want to kiss you!” I grumbled.

He chuckled.

I froze.

“You should be thanking me! I saw you the whole night! Who the hell would want to sleep with you? You think those clothes suit you? You look ridiculous!”

“I wasn’t interested in any of those morons anyway!” I said with croaky voice.

“Tell yourself that until you believe it! You should be grateful that someone like me could even think about kissing something as fugly as you”

Something as fugly as me.

A second became a year standing there with eyes wide open staring at his enraged expression that slightly softened.

“I didn’t mean…”

“Fuck you! Fuck you! Just go to fuck yourself and leave me and my friends alone!” I growled and walked breathing sharply but with my eyes fully dry. I didn’t matter if what he said was truth or not. I wasn’t going to let him hurt me again.

I softened my expression when I got into the dorms and saw that some of the guys where already getting their things in their rooms again and I said hi to later get into my room and close the door at my back. I breathed in sat on the floor, my head fell to the side and there was Derek dresser’s mirror, from where a monster was looking at me.

…….

As soon as the stadium emptied Jim felt the struck of a monster-truck against his face and he felt on his back over the grass.

In a split of a second Kev was on top of him hitting him frantically.

“Stop!” The coach roared somewhere near him.

The world spun as he tried to fight back but there wasn’t much he could do. Kev was fast and wasn’t losing time on giving him hell.

“Stop I said!”

And then, as soon and violently as it started it ended and someone was helping Jim to stand up right on time to see how Aidan and Kyle pushed Kev aside while Paul shielded Jim with his body and Sam…Got his hands bloody with Kev’s nose.

“I said fucking stop!” The coach snarled out of himself. “What the hell is wrong with all of you kids?”

Kev quickly stood with a very long finger that pointed straight at Jim. “It was him! He did this!”

“It wasn’t, James! You can’t say it was him! How do you know?” Garret asked furious from somewhere.

“You all saw it. Fuck!” Kev touched his nose and tears leaped through his eyes. “You know what kind of shit he is”

“Come and say it to my face. Motherfucker! How we don’t know it was you? Maybe you did it just to make another of your stupid jokes”

“Yeah? Then why my pants are shredded too?”

“Maybe so no one would suspect it was you!” Paul replied.

“What are you doing his side? He humiliated you! He humiliated all of us! Don’t tell me you’re a fag now too”

“Enough!” The coach sentenced. “I need someone to tell me what is going on here”

“It’s your star player who apparently can’t take a joke” Kev spit saliva along with blood that slipped into his mouth.

“Oh come on! You, Paul and Gary and been giving him a hard time since we found it he was gay!” Kyle grumbled.

“So you’re saying it is good what he did? It’s not my fault he can’t take a joke”

“A joke? You took all this too far” Paul added.

Kev snorted. “What? So you’re fucking him too? You’re kind of male-slut Taylor. Everyone thought were only fucking Jack but turns out you’re fucking the whole team! Even Garret? That’s too bad, you’re going to jail because that’s taking advantage of a…”

This time it was Aidan who shut him and made him fall backwards.

“Fuck!” Kev groaned. “I’m going after you too Kirk. You’re just another pussy. I knew it from the moment I knew you”

“Enough! Shut up, everybody! The next one to talk will not only be expelled from the team but the school too, so you better learn how shut the fuck off” The coach roared.

Everyone went actually silent after that which gave Jim time to feel overwhelmed by the amount of support he received from his team mates that apparently didn’t matter what he did and now were making a barrier to protect him from Kev. Even Paul.

The Coach put his hands on his back and paced around like an actual wolf stalking his next victim, he didn’t say anything for two minutes and now all you could hear was the wind until the man came to a sudden halt and looked at Jim and then at Paul.

“Alright. You want to play who has it bigger. Let’s play then! You two, will play against each other. The one who losses will be out of the team, three goals all you need to win”

“I’m not doing anything! This is stupid. I’ll rather quick this shitty team than…”

“Than what? Than being expelled from school? Than losing against a faggot? You better measure the words you use kid or they will get you in a lot of trouble”

“Fine! I’ll do it!”

Jim didn’t say anything. It was like he was just an observer of the events that surrounded him even when it was all about him.

The coach made them signs go to the middle of the field, and set the ball between them as the rest of the guys left with a sign of him, a clear reminder that none of them could interfere.

Jim was ready. He was suck of Kev. He would enjoy kicking up his butt in the field.

The coach blew his whistle and Jim jumped up to the ball, but Kev was already passing by him with it. Jim went after him but it was too late. Kev shoot and scored.

Jim’s heart skipped a beat. He couldn’t believe he let him get to his goal that quickly. After the second blow of the whistle Jim didn’t think twice and used the same strategy, he didn’t think much and just shoot, and now they were one against one. By the third time the whistle blew Jim lost his balance after Kev pulled of his shirt and made him fall, Jim could hear the guys complaining at the coach, but still the man didn’t say a word. Now Jim was a goal away from the team, it was what he wanted but he couldn’t lose at Kev. He hated him.

The whistle blared again and Jim took the ball. He could feel Kev pulling of his shirt at once and he passed the ball to Garret at his right just to realize that he was alone in the game. There was no one to support him. He stopped short taken aback by the realization that he was alone this time and Kev already had the ball.

It was a very long-shot.

When the ball hit the net Jim felt instead as if Kev have just stabbed him in the heart with a knife.

He have lost.

“Congratulations Stuart” The coach voice over as Kev approached Jim with a mocking grin. “You’re out of the Team”

It Jim and Kev almost three seconds to realize that the coach wasn’t talking to him but Kev and now everyone looked at the man.

“What? I won!” Kev complained.

“Yeah. But there is something interesting in that game of yours apart from the fact that you were using dirty tricks. Taylor only lost because he the fool was expecting for his friends to support him”

Kev stared at him without understand his words.

“I need people who trust each other, and work as a team. No someone who just plays to satisfy his own ego”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Careful with your words son”

“Careful my ass. Fuck yourself you shitty old man. I bet you’re fucking him too. All of you, you’re just a bunch of idiots. I was just playing with him!”

No one said a word.

“Come on! I was just kidding with him!”

More silence.

“I need the extracurricular”

Nope. No one said a thing.

“Fuck you all! I hope you all get AIDS from him” And said so Kev strolled off of the field.

“Give thanks I’m not going to the school board!” The coach shouted at his back and Kev him an obscene gesture without even daring to face him.

Jim’s let himself the chance to breathe after what felt like two hours and everyone surrounded him.

“Are you okay?” Garret asked at once as he approached check Jim’s jaw but still wordless Jim just nodded and kindly made him signs to not approach any closer. He felt sick, not sure of why.

“Man you saw how I destroyed his…” Aidan started but the coach shut him with a glare, then the man went to the control room and turned off the lights before even giving a chance to Jim’s friends to say anything, or him to thank them. Especially to Paul.

“You all can leave” The man ordered.

Everyone turned their backs and started their way to the locker rooms to grab their belongings. When Jim started to follow Aidan, the coach put a hand on his shoulder. “Except for you Taylor”

…….

Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror expecting to find someone else? Someone who looks funny, mysterious, interesting and smart? Someone you would say. I want to date that guy? That’s how I felt for a while since I was a kid and now there I was, crawling to the mirror in the darkness of the room to look to that stranger thing that looked at me from the other side.

The eyes, the chin, the nose, the cheeks. Everything was wrong. It was a genetic failure. Things were pretty messed up the moment my parents decided to have the gild they never could have. I couldn’t get how being so attractive both they could conceive something like…Me.

I hated him. I really did. The boy in the mirror had nothing to do with me and I cursed with wearing his face for the rest of my life. It was unfair.

I wanted to cry and smash the glass to pieces hoping he would shatter along with it.

I straightened aided by the wall and now could stand there facing him right in the eye along with all the imperfections that made the face that claimed to be mine.

I really felt he was someone else. Someone I needed to find the way to get rid of, but it was useless to think that way.

“What…Are you doing?”

My heart sunk when I finally noticed the shadow behind the monster.

“Derek…Nothing, nothing I was just…How long have you been there?”

“Stiles…What are were you doing?” He looked at me sternly. He was naked from the waist up and all his body was soaking wet. The drops sliding down drawing the abs on his belly.

“Nothing seriously…I’m not…” But I was drunk. Remember? I just started sobbing.

He went into protective mode.

“Stiles. What happened?” He went after me and I stepped back.

“Nothing. I just…” I turned I looked again at my reflection. “I went to the club”

“So what?”

“Nothing! That’s the problem! Nothing happened, because I’m not attractive enough for anyone” I cried.

“Oh…Come on!” He said condescendingly as he approached from my back and I pushed him.

“I’m serious! I’m sick of this Derek! I’m sick of being so pathetic! I’m sick of just being the friend, but not the romantic interest of no one. I’m sick of being myself”

“Stiles…Stiles calm down. You’ll find the right guy someday”

“Where in the calendar is the fucking someday? I’m twenty-two and I’m still a virgin!”

Derek looked at me with anger. “Stiles, you can’t expect for the love of your life to just show up at your door, you…”

“I looked today Derek. I looked at lot, and all I got was silence and mock, you know what is like to try to flirt with more than twenty guys and that none of them don’t even to bother to say hi back? And of course then see the guy who just humiliated me!”

“Stiles you’re taking this too personal! Guys are dicks!”

“It is just not that, and don’t come to me with that _‘No one is going to love you until you learn to love yourself’_ crap, because it doesn’t make any sense even for the moron who said it. It is all about me, Derek. They were mocking at me. All of them. Even Craig said it. I should be grateful if someone ever wants to kiss me because I’m fugly”

Now I couldn’t stop. I was crying like a baby in front of my half-naked best friend.

“Fugly?” He arched a brow.

“Fucking ugly” I replied and then heard weird screech. I looked up and found Derek’s face tense, as if he was trying to hold something back, but as soon as our eyes met he cracked in laughs.

That was it. That was the confirmation I needed.

“Wait” He stopped after noticing how my face turned. “I’m not laughing about you”

“Yeah, right” I said with sadness.

“I just can’t understand” He said now more seriously. “Stiles, you’re the person with the biggest ego I know. How can you have such low self-esteem?”

I sucked a breath and sat on his bed. “I don’t know. I guess that’s the secret of the universe. Maybe the people with the biggest egos are the ones with the lowest self-esteem”

There wasn’t a joke in there. Just pain.

Derek reached close step after step, and without saying a word he surrounded me with his arms and pressed my face against his chest.

“Stiles” He started reassuringly, with his rough voice as I felt lost in the scent of his robust cologne and the warmness of his body. “There is nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect just the way you are” His right hand slowly pulled up through my body finding its way to my face.

“You don’t get it” He started it and now he was stroking my cheek with the back of his hand gently. “And I’m not saying this just because I love you” He continued sending chills to my whole self through my burning cheeks. “It is all a matter of perspective. Beautiful or Ugly…Stiles, that doesn’t exist. People might see your boyfriend or girlfriend and see he or she is ugly and you wouldn’t get it, because you see that person perfect, so beautiful you feel lucky to have him, because that’s how love works”

He…I…I think he was right. It made sense.

“Anyone, boy or girl, would be lucky to be with you. You’re beautiful, Stiles. Anyone would be happy to be with you”

_Anyone but you…._

My Derek-meter got to unknown levels of danger and I broke his embrace and hurried to dry my eyes. “You’re right” I lied. “So…You’re going out?”

He looked at me suspiciously and then smiled. “Yeah. Matty texted me that he was bored and invited me to a party”

“Great” I smiled though deep inside I was burning with anger.

“I’ll be ready in a minute, and then we will go. Okay? Wash your face”

“You go. I’m not in the mood” I replied flatly.

“Stiles…”

“Seriously. I don’t feel like partying tonight, but you go and have fun”

“No. I call him and tell him I’m busy with work. Really, I don’t…”

“Derek, you more than anyone need some time to relax and enjoy. You have been under a lot of pressure lately”

I could see in his face that he agreed with me, but then his expression hardened and he threw me one his I-would-never-leave-you-alone-in-a-state-like-this. Aw Derek, you had no idea of how much I craved for you. I really loved you, it wasn’t just a confusion, or something that came because of how close we have been lately. I really pictured the rest of my life with him.

It was so painful.

“I’m not going to do anything stupid, Derek. I’ll just have some sleep. Promised. I’m not a kid anymore. Please go, you need it”

He looked at me with a bit more concern so I pulled of my phone and dialed Hip.

“Betch. Derek is asking for you to be ready to pick you up” I said without giving him a chance to say whatever he was going to tell me.

Derek glared at me and got dressed while I forced myself to watch cat videos in YouTube to don’t torture myself watching his naked body.

After hugging me again, telling me he was a call of distance and closing the door at his back I took my phone again.

“Hi?” Her voice said with hesitation.

“Hi” I replied back.

“Um…How…How are you? Is Derek okay?”

“He is okay. I need you to come here”

It took her less than thirty minutes to arrive. When I opened the door for her she looked miserable and I kind of felt bad for her.

“How are you?” She asked looking down.

“I’m great” I lied poorly. “You?”

“I’m fine. I guess” Said flatly.

“Look. Here is the thing” I said as I made her signs to sit in my bed next to me. “Derek is going on with Hip. Call him and ask him to pick you up”

Allison instantly threw me a concerned look. “What’s going on?”

“Hip is going after him. We need to stop him”

“Oh…”

“So…Hurry up”

“Okay, okay. I just…I just thought you wanted to talk about something else”

I frowned not getting her point. “What else could I want to talk to you about Allison? This is the chance you wanted. I’m giving you the chance to go normal with Derek. I won’t say anything, just go there and recover your man, wasn’t that what you wanted? He’s all yours. He knows something is going on, so you better be quick. Hip is very persuasive”

“I…Um…I’m not sure about this Stiles. I’ve been thinking lately, and things more messed up than ever inside me. I think that maybe I should take a time. I’m not sure about anything anymore”

What…What the fuck? Who the hell was weeping on my feet asking me for a chance to fix things up?

“Are you insane? This is Derek! Is what you wanted! Go for him, is the man of your life!”

“Is he?”

“Allison, he is going into a trap! Hip wants to sleep with him. Do you want that?”

She shook her head.

“Great, now go and save him and save your relationship. I promise I’ll never tell him about what happened. It will be our secret for life, but go there and recover your relationship. This is your chance!”

She nodded now fully convinced and smiling. “You’re right…Than…Thanks!”

I didn’t say you’re welcome. I hoped she noticed it and she did.

“Can…Can I hug you?” She said hesitantly.

I looked away and nodded.

Allison reached closed and surrounded me with her arms though I didn’t reply her embrace.

“I missed you”

That hurt. It hurt, because even when I was mad at him now I realized that I missed her too. But I still was mad at her.

When Allison left the room I realized something that had been bugging since that morning, and it was the fact that I had been pretty mad at her because she cheated on Derek with Kristie and Eric, and that was the funny thing in all that. I wasn’t mad at Kyle more than I usually was. The fact that he cheated on Kristie with Allison didn’t bother me at all, the same way that I wasn’t mad at Kristie neither and it brought to realize that my problem wasn’t that Allison cheated on Derek, but the fact that she kissed Eric. But that was something I didn’t want to deal with. But I had to admit that was being damn unfair with her.

…….

When everyone left, there was only darkness, silence and a coach sitting in the bleachers waiting for him.

Jim swallowed not knowing what would expect him and walked to the last step to join the man.

There was a silence that last at last five minutes in which none of them say a thing and the coach just worried about looking at the sky.

“I…Um…I wanted to apologize to you kid” He said suddenly and Jim’s eye popped open. He definitely wasn’t expecting that.

“Are…Are you sure?” He asked not fully getting how lucky he was.

The coach chugged. “I should have put an end to it from the moment it started, or well, from the moment I noticed cuz I guess it started earlier. It wasn’t fair for you, but I said, he will get it over. He is strong, they are not…” Was Jim imagine it or did he heard the man’s voice croak?

“They are not going to get it farther. He isn’t a fag anyway”

Jim looked at the dark pit where the grass should have been.

“I’m sorry” The man spoke softly. “I’m sorry for not being good enough. I’m sorry for not understanding and doing something faster”

Okay…This was getting WEIRD.

“It’s okay sir. Really, I can take care of myself”

“No. You can’t! They could have done things to you. I left you at their mercy and I…”

Jim looked up and saw the Coach’s eyes sparkling by the reflection of the moon over his tears.

“I need a favor, Taylor. My…” He started sobbing with anger and pain and Jim’s heart lurched. What was going on? “My son! He…He was attacked. He was raped two months ago. I threw him out of him when he was fourteen! God forgive me! I didn’t know what I was doing in! He was just a little boy, scared and confused and I threw him away, Taylor! I did it!”

His words and tone, ended up by breaking Jim’s heart and now he was crying too. Over a boy he didn’t even know and now he was putting a hand on the Coach’s shoulder, an opportunity the man took to hold him, to hold him so tight Jim couldn’t breathe or think as the cries of the man overwhelmed him. Older people shouldn’t cry over young people’s arms. Scary old straight men, shouldn’t seek for shelter in the arms of little gay boys.

“He tried to kill himself yesterday!” And he chocked! He choked with his words and Jim’s heart broke.

“He told…He told me he couldn’t live this life where he isn’t whose he supposed to be, where no one understand what is like to see himself in the mirror and don’t see the girl he knows he is and I did this. I did that to him! To her! I don’t even know how to call it!”

Jim wipped the tears from his eyes and sniffed. “Well. You can start by asking what pronounces she or he identifies with and…You! You’re Shanelesslie’s dad”

“What? No! His name is Anthony”

“Exactly! Anthony Williams. Right?”

The coach nodded.

“I met your son, I met your daughter. I thought she only did drag, but she actually is transgender or started the process I guess. I…My friends were pretty concerned about her, but in the hospital they told us her family didn’t let anyone see her”

“So….You’re friends?” The coach let him go and looked at him in the eye.

Jim shook his head. “We met her right before she was attacked. We were there with her. It was unfair what happened to her”

The coach’s eyes turned watery again and Jim gave him so pads in the back. “He doesn’t want to live anymore! And I’m trying. I swear to god I’m trying to understand and then he does that and then I come here today and everything is just shit in my life. If it should have been me who killed himself maybe his life would have been better but now I don’t know what to do…” And he started to sob again.

“Don’t say that! You screwed things before, but now you understand that you can do something. She tried to kill herself but she still is alive you can do something now! God is giving you a second chance to…”

Wow! Now he listened to himself he was kind of stunned. He didn’t know he could do that kind of speech.

“To do things right and be there for her”

“I need you to talk to him! I need you shake those thoughts out of his head! Please! I…I did something awful! Now I realize. When I told him I had no son so many years ago! I’m…I’m a monster”

Jim breathed and patted him again. “She will be okay, and so are you. I promise”

The coach wiped his eyes dry and sniffed before looking at Jim. “You’re a good boy Taylor”

“Thanks sir” He replied quietly.

“But if you quit the game again, I’ll make sure you never graduate”

Jim snorted and nodded. “I won’t go anywhere”

“And remember you need to buy new uniforms for your friends” Finished to then stand and get lost into the sea of black grass.

…….

I couldn’t sleep. Something of what Derek said kept bugging me. Love is a matter of perspective. No matter how someone looks, the person who loves them simply will look at them as the most beautiful thing in the world.

So…If Derek was right…

I got out of bed. I put on my clothes and got out of the room. The night was young so everywhere you looked you could see people parting the summer out of their system and preparing for the new school year, meanwhile I went to the Studio to try Derek’s theory.

I opened the door. Turned on the lights and went to the back store where I set all our cameras around me. I started to count backwards from ten and stayed standing there in silence letting the light and lens catch my essence, to see if I could look as beautiful as Derek claimed I was.

I guess I don’t need to clarify to you that Derek was wrong. Well, he wasn’t wrong. He was a fucking liar. No matter what lenses I used. I didn’t look like the person I hoped to see in the mirrors every morning when I washed my teeth.

It was just more of the same. The lenses, the angles, the light, aperture. It was all useless. It wouldn’t make look like…FUCK! WHY? Why I had to look so…

“Stily?”

_Shit._

“Eric!” Thank god I was right before an intense shadow of the pillars of the building. I stepped right in and wiped my tears. “What are you doing here?”

“I saw the front door open and I thought there was a thief in here and wow! I didn’t know this part of the studio!”

“Cool isn’t it?”

“Yeah. I has a kind of industrial aura”

I smiled.

“So…Is everything okay?”

“Yeah! Of course! Why…Why wouldn’t it”

I paced around the large space and then looked at me. “I don’t know, considering that you didn’t come to the game even when you said you would come, and Derek didn’t even know where you were”

I swallowed. “You asked Derek about me?”

“Um…” He arched a brow. “Actually, he asked me about you, you told him you would go to the game so he went to look for you and, well… Is everything okay?”

“Oh…Yeah, yeah. I’m sorry I didn’t go I was…I had my mind somewhere else. So how was the game?”

“There wasn’t any game” He said bored, though I guessed he was laying considering how late it was and the fact that he was still wearing his uniform. “They postponed it for Monday”

“Oh, well then I guess it didn’t mind I didn’t come” I said jokingly.

“Yeah. It was disappointing anyway. Kristie couldn’t make it, you neither and Allison didn’t even answered my text”

_No wonder why._

“I’ll make it up to you” I said with a shy smile. “What if I let you audition now, what you say?” I really didn’t want to go to bed after realizing that Derek lied to me.

“Really?” He said excited. “Are you really going to let me audition?”

I nodded. “Of course. I hope you have at least read some of the play”

“I did! It’s awesome! Of course…Just...” He looked around as if he was looking for something. “Give me a second” He shoved his hands on his pockets and drew his phone out.

“Do you mind I a peek at the script in case I forget anything?”

Oh god! You had to see him, it was like telling a little kid that he was going to Disneyland. He went from here to there, reading parts of the script looking for the perfect scene to impact me and made me realize he was the Damian I was so desperately looking for. Poor thing, if he only knew it was all fake, but don’t get me grow all his excitement and the way he quoted so parts as he read aloud preparing himself made me remember the story and actually I found myself picturing a real movie of my story and it was simply something that would make me feel happy enough to forget about anything, maybe even Derek.

The moment didn’t last much. Kyle had the great idea of interpreting one of the most emotionally powerful and difficult scenes in the script and I totally got him. He really thought it was a one-life chance and that he needed to impress me doing the hardest scene of all, and even when didn’t suck as much as he did when I met him he still couldn’t really feel drama in him. And ironically now that we didn’t were strangers I couldn’t simply insult him as I did so long time ago. No, now we were _‘friends’_ and simply couldn’t do such thing to him. I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, I knew what it was like when people told you all the things that were wrong with you.

“It was…Great” I smiled. The thing is that, I guess I wasn’t a good actor that day either, because…

“Don’t try to patronize me, Stily” He looked at me with disappointment. “I know it was terrible”

“No, no…Really I…”

“Let me see the tape”

He joined me behind the camera and I hit the play button and finally he was doing a really convincing drama face with each passing second of his audition video. Damn! It suck, you know? I felt sorry for him, but he just didn’t have it. He really couldn’t act.

“I can do better Stiles. I swear”

I shook my head. “It is okay, Eric. Really, maybe we are just tired. Perhaps if we wait…”

“No!” He complained with frustration. “I can do better. I know I do! You don’t understand. I can make you feel something, really. I can make you feel things you can’t even imagine”

Okay, someone take the drugs from him.

“I…Just give me twenty minutes! Okay?”

Twenty minutes? Seriously?

“Please, Stily. Trust me. Twenty minutes is all I need to prove you that I can be better, that I am better. I just need to bath and come fresh, I’ll make you cry. You will see” He smiled with confidence.

“Alright” I accepted though I was pretty much tired and now really wanted to go bed.

“I’ll be back in no time I promise” He said as he sprinted out of the Studio.

So I sat there in silence not daring to think about Craig’s words, neither Derek’s and completely blocking the pictures I just took of myself. Instead I just let my imagination fly picturing what kind of trick Kyle might try to do to impress me. Probably he would try to use spicy-powder on his eyes as I forced him to do once a long time ago. It was effective, but it wasn’t enough. He needed to learn to be authentic and that his words and mannerism needed to be in a perfect harmony to transmit and emotion. Something that came so easily for everyone on crisis but for some reason just a few managed to control when it was time to act it.

After thirty minutes of waiting I was starting to lose my patience when I heard steps in the back door approaching the area where I was sitting in the floor. I craned my neck to the door and I gaped.

I definitely wasn’t expecting that.

…….

After the coach vanished Jim went to the locker room to pick his back and save the rest of his stuffs. He took a look at the scissors he used to cut the short-pants and chuckled.

“That can count as evidence” A voice said and Jim jolted looking up as a shadow came inside and he smiled at Aidan.

“You wouldn’t dare to give me off. You saw what happened to the last guy who tried to mess with me” He joked.

“Yeah. I’m scared to death of you. James the slyer, they fall as fleas around you. I still don’t get how you managed to get Paul in your side but good move”

Jim turned the lights of the locker room off and they got out. “Well, I wasn’t expecting that either. Maybe he knew things would turn bad if he sided with Kev”

Aidan shook his head. “Man. No one thought the coach was going to support you. If it wasn’t because the coach needed a favor from you, you probably would be now crying on your bed for being kicked out of the team”

Jim jerked his neck toward his friend almost hurting himself. “You were spying on us?”

“I wouldn’t call it, spying. I would call it just concern about a…”

“Of course he was spying on you. He was hiding right behind you in the bleachers!”

Jim and Aidan turned on their heels. “Seriously?” Jim said with suggestive brow up.

“Oh he’s here!” Aidan shouted out-loud breaking the silence of the night.

They didn’t need to have the lights on to know who it was.

“So, weren’t you spying on him, Kirk?” Jack said angrily.

“No. Actually I was just waiting for him. Some people care about him you know?”

Jack snorted “Of course you care about him”

“What’s supposed to mean?” Aidan asked.

“Oh no! If you’re going to start a scene. I’ll just go” 

“No one is starting a scene” Jack replied sharply.

“What are you doing here anyway?” Asked Jim squinting at him.

“Waiting for him to leave” Said Jack at once as he pointed at Aidan with his index finger.

“What is your problem with me, dude? You have been messing with me from the moment I got here”

“I don’t have a problem with you. I just want to make sure no one stays in the field afterhours, the coach leave that clear a long while ago. When people used to train here in secret”

Jim and Sam’s eyes met and Jim blushed.

“Well. Don’t worry about it, we were leaving. Wanna ride?” Jim offered.

“Sure. Let me get my stuffs” Jack replied at once.

“Um…This is uncomfortable, but I kind of think he was talking to me”

“He wasn’t talking to you! You live two streets from here. I’m pretty sure you can find your bed on your own”

“Who the hell is talking about a bed? What is your problem?” Aidan grumbled.

“My problem is you, Kirk. You think I can’t see what you’re doing? Influencing James with your supposed to be bad-boy attitude just because you want him to look at you, but deep inside you know pretty well he wouldn’t ever in a million years be with someone like you!” Jack growled.

“Oh…” Aidan sniggered.

“Excuse me? Who the hell you think to speak for myself?” Jim shot back.

“Someone has to. Or he will take advantage of you!” Jack pointed out.

“So, that was it all about?” Aidan teased. “So, your problem is that…” Jim felt a sudden pull of his short-pants and underwear and before he realized felt the touch of Aidan’s fingers curling all around his left buttock and the tight squeezing. Right in the other side of the pants something was moving too.

_Shit. I seriously need to jerk-off more often._

“That this is all mine” Finished Aidan shaking it harder so Jack could see in the middle of the night what he was doing.

Jim pushed Aidan aside to get his calloused hand away from his butt. Aidan lost his balance.

“Get your filthy hands away from him!” Jack shredded the quietness of the night as he jumped on top of Aidan and Jim hurried to pull of his arm to throw him away.

“Enough! Both of you! I’m sick of this twisted-whatever you’re doing!”

“What it has to do with me? I was just…”

“Shut up! Sam! You were doing nothing!” Jim growled out of his mind.

“But he…”

“You know what? I’m out of here” Aidan said angrily as he stood and shot a glance at Jim that lasted for a couple of seconds in which none of them said a word and they just stared at each until finally Aidan winked at him and walked away.

Jim turned toward Jack to glare at him and then got his back to search for his phone and call Liam to talk him about Shanelesslie and the coach. However, the phone wasn’t inside.

 _Dam it._ He passed by Jack and went back to the locker room.

He opened the door and turned on the light right when it went off. _Double damn it._

“What? Are you waiting for him here? That’s what you were saying to each other with the eyes?”

Jim couldn’t handle anything else that night. He threw his bad to the floor. “What the hell you want from me? One day you tell me you don’t want to know anything else about me! I leave you alone and you wouldn’t stop sending me texts! Then you try to sabotage my idea to getting Amanda into the new center! Then you act as if nothing happened and everything is fine! Then you said that I deserved the way Kev treated! What the hell you want Sam! What do you want from me?”

“I want him out!” Jack said dryly.

Jim rolled his eyes and peeked in darkness looking for his phone with his hands.

“Don’t you see what he’s doing to you? You wouldn’t have done anything like you did today to our pants if it wasn’t for him!”

“What are you talking about? He didn’t even know anything about! I even cut his pants too!”

“Just because you wanted to see him naked!”

“What if I wanted to? It isn’t none of your business. You let that pretty clear weeks ago when you said you didn’t want to know anything about me, so why do you care what I do or don’t?”

“You know I care! You really think I don’t care that he’s filling your head with toxic ideas? That now every time I look at you he’s somewhere near if not getting his hands in your underwear?”

“So what?” Jim said defiantly, though he didn’t find funny at all what Aidan did. Actually he was pretty confused about it.

“So what? That he isn’t good for you! I’m doing what is right for you!”

“You know nothing about what is good for me! You only keep complaining about everything about me. And you don’t have any right to say who I can hang out with or no!”

“That’s the problem. You aren’t just hanging out with him! You’re having sex with him. I can see it then way you looking at him”

“What? Are you insane? We’re just joking! We’re friends, that all!” Jim resumed his hunt and found a dirty sock. Yikes.

“Oh yeah? Then why did you turn? Why don’t you say it to my face?” He pulled of Jim’s arm and forced to stand up. “You think it is easy for me?”

He pressed him against the lockers.

“What is hard for you Sam? You got your perfect girl and your perfect family! What could possibly be wrong?”

“You!” Jack sentenced and Jim swallowed. “I just don’t understand you! You’re so fake, so weak. You don’t care about anything. I can’t stand you! One days you act like everything is okay and other days you are letting him touch you!”

“Are you fucking kidding? You’re the one who hugs me and tells me you can’t lose me and yet all you do is try to lose me harder!” Jim shrieked with tears in his eyes.

“You think I don’t know that? I’ve been pulling my hair off all this weeks, because I’m just tired of this situation. Of…”

“Of what?”

“Of you! I’m tired of the way your nose wrinkles when you’re mad, of how your hair naturally falls to the side wide the wind, of that expensive perfume you use! I swear I can smelled in my dreams. Of the way your lips curve up when you’re thinking about doing something wicked! From the first time I saw in that bed, next to me….I CAN’T STAND IT ANYMORE! He held his head with his hands.

“My life was perfect! I had everything!”

“You still have everything!”

“No! You know I don’t have what I want the most!”

He rose his hand hesitantly and slightly brushed Jim’s cheek with it. Jim breathed in softly. “Please, James. Promise me you’re not with him. He isn’t good for you” Jack pleaded.

Jim held his urges to yell at him along with his tears but it didn’t last much. “Then who? Uh? According to you who’s good enough for me? You?”

Jack shook his head. “No one would ever be good enough for you James, especially me”

Jim swallowed and stared at Sam’s in silence.

“Time might pass but never would there be a man worthy of your love”

“I’m not that good!” Said Jim with pain as he looked at away.

Jack took him by the chin to make him look at him in the eye. “You are, and even more”

“Jackie, please”

“Don’t, James. Please don’t call me Jackie. I can barely hold myself when you do it” Jack murmured softly in a pasty voice that gave off how much this was affecting him.

Jim couldn’t think straight. He felt as if he have been doing drugs even when it had been ages since his last time, but all the effects where there. He was crying and smiling, his heart was racing, his mouth was dry and he was deaf somehow, because all he could hear was Sam’s breathing right before it hit him in the face.

“I can’t help it, Jackie. I…”

“Neither can’t I” Jack replied and his breathing fell all over Jim, and Jim closed his eyes as a spark of electricity burned his lips and then his face and ran all around his body giving him chills and terror, his hands wouldn’t stop shaking, his heart stopped beating and his tears wouldn’t stop flowing mixing his Sam’s and his sweat.

 He opened his eyes suddenly to push Jack aside.

“Jackie, are you sure this is what you want?”

“Call me Jackie again and I promise I won’t be responsible of my acts” Jack whispered at his ear before coming back in front of him, to then meet their eyes breath in the soul of the other.

“Understood. Jackie”

…….

“Eric, you…”

“Don’t tell anyone” He said at once as he came inside in his black tights.

He brought a little music box that set in the middle of the room and hit the button play.

He came into position doing a very weird pose and in the distance I started to hear the low humming of drums that gradually grew in intensity until was high enough for me to recognize it. It was the song Scotland by The Lumineers.

It was an instrumental version of the song, because right when the vocals should have started Kyle jumped and then made a spin, and there he was going from here to there, moving with grace doing some weird turns and bends, his muscles flexing up and down and then the song when to the slow part and I ran to grab my camera and made a shot, and made another and some more. Kyle kept moving more softly now with the lights and shadows dancing along with him as if somehow they turned into living beings that followed in the wide space. One spin, other and other I now I wondered if he would throw up while the song became stronger and stronger until the chorus exploded his movements became even more intense and sharp holding a something in the hair that I couldn’t make out, the shape of his muscles scrapping the air, cutting it and making it dance along.

He wasn’t just doing some paces, or quoting something he learned to do. He was telling me something, I couldn’t make out what and it with his driving me insane. It was up and down, and pirouette, spin pirouette, the way his face moved meeting the light and then hiding in the shadows casted by the pillars his body was in harmony with the rest of whatever was in the room and it was powerful and breathtaking it was when my camera fell from my hands that I realized it stopped taking pictures a while a ago and now I was just watching and…Crying. 

The music stopped.

Kyle looked at me.

I looked at him.

“Eric”

“You liked it?”

Was he kidding? I was nodding vigorously. “Why…When?  What?” How’s that I didn’t know that? That explained why he had so strong and fast legs and why his feet looked that awful.

“I normally dance when I’m under a lot of stress. It helps a lot” He said casually as if it was nothing, but it wasn’t.

“Did you invented that dance?” I asked still openmouthed.

“No. It’s an original peace of my dance professor back home. She was wonderful. It is about a man who’s blind and is in love with a beautiful girl. He can’t see her of course, but I danced the part where he explores her body and describes her”

“Oh…So that is why you were doing those movements?”

“Yes. It is always my favorite part, though you should see hers. Her frustration as she tries to show who she is to him, and then the final part where he tells her he has always felt how beautiful she is without the need of looking at her with his eyes”

_Mental note. Get a blind boyfriend._

“So. They dance it together?” I chuckled drying my tears. “It must be hard doing all those spins with someone else at the same time.

“No. It’s a pas de deux. It’s supposed to be danced that way”

I couldn’t get it.

“When you see it whole. You will understand how beautiful it is. It isn’t two person dancing together. When the dancers understand each other and their feet too, there is that…Connection where you can’t see them actually dancing but the story itself as I’m explaining it to you”

“Wow”

“Wanna give it a try?” He arched a brow and smiled wickedly.

“What? No! I’m…” The first thing I did, even before saying those words was looking around as if looking for invisible eyes lurking in the corners.

It had to end.

“Come on! Did you forget all I told you at Sunset Valley?” He ran at me and took me by the hand gently as he pressed play again.

“Of course it won’t be perfect, but just follow my steps. Alright?” I nodded laughing like an idiot and then I felt the pull of his hand while the music started again.

“Don’t do anything mechanic. Feel it”

I rose a hand, he took me by the arm and made me spin, I felt his feet around mine and I felt like if they invaded me my personal space. I felt dirty somehow, as if doing something forbidden and he threw aside but didn’t let me go for long. He pulled of me, and he threw me up and we went into the climax of the song.

“Close your eyes” He said and I did without hesitate.

And the music came and it struck me and I felt his fingers quickly brushing around my clothes, feeling as if they were undressing me without even touching the buttons of my shirt of pant and I flew and saw shades of orange, olive and beige in streaks of light raining down on me and I threw my arm up, and loosen my body imitating the body invasion on him, showing more of what he wanted to see and feel, until my shoe met his left feet and he panted drawing me down with him.

“Oh my god! Eric, I’m so…”

“It’s okay” I heard him say choking in laughs as I hurried to rolled from on top of him and offered him my hand to stand and he took it with tears in his eyes.

I felt like an idiot. I couldn’t believe I ruined that for him.

“Oh my God! I’m so embarrassed!”

“I’m fine! Really. He laughed even harder! It was cool. I liked it”

I nodded. “It didn’t feel like dancing” I said frowning because I couldn’t get clearly, it was more like a…

“A conversion” He finished for me.

How did he know I was going to say that?

“A conversation between secret lovers”

Oh my….We sat in the floor and now that he was still I could see the sweat streaming down his body and it was so arousing I had to pull by legs up and hug them to feel safe. “So…Ballet, uh?”

He nodded. “I started since I was too little. My parents said that, once I learned from ballet I would start to appreciate art in all its ways”

“Then why you didn’t join a company? I bet you would be famous by now” I said without even a speck of irony. He really good and I was marveled.

“It isn’t that easy Stily” He chuckled. “There are people way better than me. Either way, dancing for me is more than just a job, is a way let everything flow. Like an emergency exit”

“It’s awesome”

He nodded. “I told you, I could make you feel something real coming out of me”

And he was right. If he only act as he danced.

“So…” He said arching a brow.

“So what?” I replied with a stupid smirk.

“I told you a secret no one –not even Kristie- knows about me” He squinted. “I think it is fair for you to tell me why you have been acting weird lately. Especially today”

_Crap. Trap alert!_

“I haven’t been acting weird”

He didn’t say anything he just looked at me incuriously.

I chugged. “Alright. I went to a club to get a boyfriend”

He blinked once, and then again as if I have talked in another language. “Why?”

I snorted. “Um… To get a boyfriend?”

“Yeah, but…Aren’t things going okay between Derek and you?”

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! What the….?

“What? I’m…There is nothing between Derek and me! Where did you get that idea?”

He arched a brow. “Seriously? Do you need me to remind you how I found you both this morning?”

Oh! He had a point. “That…Doesn’t mean anything. I mean, we always do that kind of stuffs. We’re best friends. We are comfortable enough with each other to do that kind of things you know?”

“Call it as you want, but between that and how he treats me, I just…Got he’s the kind of possessive boyfriend”

I laughed. “No! You got all wrong. Derek is my best friend. Seriously”

He still looked at me as he didn’t believe me.

“He’s with Allison. Remember? That affirmation made something shake in his eyes and now his expression turned uneasy”

“Right” He nodded uncomfortable. “I just thought you guys had an open relationship so he could be with her too and you could sleep with any guy you wanted!”

Okay I had to laugh at that because that was the stupidest idea in the whole world. “NO!” I cut short. “Never in a hundred millions years would anything happen between us”

He giggled. “Sorry. I got all wrong. So, you went on hunting today uh? How was it?”

“Um…It was okay”

“It was hard, uh?” Damn. I didn’t know he knew me that much as for to tell when I couldn’t lie that convincingly.

“Since when you didn’t have a date, then?” He arched a brow.

Oh…Awkward question.

“Since…Um…Ever”

He stared at me for a second as if not getting my answer and then he spoke again. “So…You’re more of the casual sex type, uh? I could never thought of you that way”

I shook my head.

He looked at me even more puzzled. “I don’t get it, then when was the last time had sex?”

I looked away. “I’m… I’m a virgin, Eric” I blushed. I didn’t want him to look at me that way, but it was too late. I said it.

“Stily, but…Why did you wait so long? Why look for a boyfriend now and now before?”

Alright that was all. “I have looked okay? It is just that no one wants anything to do with me”

He’s snorted. “That’s bullshit”

I whimpered but stopped at once. I wasn’t going to cry, oh no!

“What happened to today?”

Damn, he was stubborn. However I couldn’t stop my tongue. I started to tell him about my crappy night and how each guy made me feel worse than the last until we stopped at Craig.

He gaped as I told him the story and his face hardened when Craig called me fugly, but he didn’t want the story to end there, and instead wanted to know if I ever loved someone and before I could tell myself to shut the fuck off the word vomit about Isaac had started and now there wasn’t a wait to stop, I talked and talked and talked and for a minute I feared he might grew bored of listening to it, but no, his eyes were still fixed on me and his mouth was still wide open. When I got to the video part in YouTube he stood and punched one of the columns.

“That motherfucker! Why you didn’t tell me about him? We should do something!”

I laughed though I wanted to cry. “It’s okay. I’m fine now”

Then he sat again and took my hands on his and looked at my scars. “How…How is that I didn’t notice this before? I’m…I’m so sorry Stily” His eyes turned watery. “Is not fair! You’re one of the most especial persons in the world! You don’t deserve anything he did to you”

“Thanks” I said fighting not to cry.

“Promise me, you won’t do this again to yourself”

“It’s okay, Eric. It was a long time ago I don’t…”

He tightened his grip on my hand. “Promise me you won’t ever hurt yourself again. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you”

No…He didn’t say that. He couldn’t say that because my heart was going to become a mess, no, no, no, no, I was a mess already. God! I was becoming insane! Actually I had to let go of his grip no matter how gentle his hands felt, because I was sure my heart was beating so hard he could hear it, so I shielded my chest.

“I promise”

Then he stood again and paced around. “I don’t get it. There must be another way for you to meet someone”

“There is an app called grindr. Most guys use it for quickies, but I give it a try to meet people and get a boyfriend” Look out Stily, we don’t like to get into that zone! Those are blocked memories for our own good.

“So?”

“I gave up fast. Everyone wanted sex”

“Didn’t you try with anyone?” He looked at me with concern.

I nodded. “I did, indeed. Most of the guys don’t show their face at once because they are still in the closet and no one talked to me because I wasn’t afraid of them. So I took my face off and the messages started to come, but the first thing they did was to ask a picture of my face and when they saw it, well…They blocked me”

“Oh” His gaze fell. “I’m sorry”

“It’s okay. I’m used to it” I said pretending to not feel anything. “Once an old man told me he wanted my virginity and I decided it was time. So we settled a day and time. When he picked up in his car he told me that he had things to do in the clinic he worked and that he would come for me later. Once I was out of the car he blocked me”

Now Kyle didn’t have words to say. Just looked at me outraged and frustrated.

“Once a cute guy found my profile and he said he liked all the weird stuffs I put on it, because he found interesting that I wasn’t a jerk, but instead I loved to read and write and take pictures and such, he said I wasn’t empty when he asked me my face picture he blocked my profile too”

More silence and now Eric’s expression was turning more and more desolate.

“Once I went catfish and created a fake profile with the pictures of a handsome guy I found on internet, I twitched my GPS to make people believe I was bit farther than I actually was and a guy who was just a street away from my real profile wrote and we started to chat and he told me a lot about him and his life and I did to, and we spent weeks talking to none stop, he said he was in love with me and I felt awful for being doing that to him, even when all I said was real, my face wasn’t, so I decided to block him and spare him the pain.

“You shouldn’t have done that, Stily, you should have shown who you were from the beginning”

“Oh but I did” I smiled.

“Two days later…I guess he was still heart broken, I don’t know. He wrote to my real profile since we were so close that we probably were almost neighbors and I treated him nicely and once again we started but this time with no lies”

“That’s good” Kyle nodded.

“Two days later, he said he would like to see my face so I sent him my picture” Needless to say what happened then. Now Eric’s face was a mix of anger, frustration, sadness and pity. Damn pity, that was why I didn’t want to tell him but still I couldn’t shut myself. I have showed my true colors to him and there was no coming back. I could feel the darkness surrounding me, sinking me and now there were only bad thoughts about me. That was why I tried to keep those thoughts locked. It was just too much bear, those memories where the constant reminder of what Craig confirmed that night.

I was fugly.

“I’m sorry, Stily. But don’t lose your faith. I know that the right person is out there waiting for you and when the time comes. You will know and he will to. I know it will be like that because you deserve it. You’re the most wonderful human being I’ve ever known”

Wow. “Thanks”

“So…You didn’t make out with any of them?”

I shook my head.

“Not even the old man?”

Head shook again. “Actually…I….” I looked down. That was the most intimate and embarrassing thing I ever had to say until then. “I…I don’t remember when was the last time I kissed another human being”

Kyle made a noise like a choking and I bit my tongue to remind myself I couldn’t cry. No. It was forbidden.

“Stily…”

“I looked up. It is okay, Eric…Really don’t…”

And it happened. My chest exploded, my pupils expanded, blood started to run again in my veins and I was feeling like being hit directly by the sun while a sweet coconut scent clouded my mind. That’s how it felt when Kyle joined our lips together and gently slid his warm tongue into my mouth, shutting my words but opening doors I didn’t know were closed inside me.

He went back and I gasped.

“Eric!” I panted recovering, because for some reason I forgot how to breathe right when he touched my soul with his mouth. I wanted to laugh, I wanted to laugh loudly, but I couldn’t. It was stupid.

He smiled.

“What…What the hell was that?” I asked astonished.

“I’m sorry…I just…I want to make sure that the first person you kiss loves you”

Aw…What did he just say? I was floating in a cloud of…Wait a minute. He stole that line from the perks of being a wallflower.

“You stole that line from the perks of being a wallflower!” I accused.

He laughed mischievously and nodded. “So, how was it?”

Uh?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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